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Monday, July 02, 2007

The Deed is Done

I did it. I turned in my resignation, giving August 3 as my last day.

I was going to give until July 31, but then I realized that by extending only a few days, I could end on a Friday and the last day of the pay period, which is logical. It also gives more than sufficient notice and buys time for me to at least find a passable job.

When I handed in my resignation, in person, to my immediate supervisor, he wasn't surprised, and alluded to a prior conversation in which we'd discussed my moving on. They know I was looking, and he asked me what I'd found? I was honest; I told him I hadn't found another position yet, but am so burned out I just can't keep doing this. I also acknowledged that my performance is continuing to slip, I know it, they know it and I feel it's best to resign while I can still leave with references. I also told him that I will continue to be a professional, I will continue to work my files and I will continue to do my best.

He indicated that he appreciated both my notice and my attitude, but it was in what he didn't say or do that gave me the confirmation that I am doing the right thing. He did not try to talk me into staying. He did not ask if I'd be interested in moving to a different unit, etc. He did not tell me I was wrong to cite my performance issues, and what this tells me is that my sense is correct and my days were already numbered.

So by this action, I have saved my superiors from having to go through the termination process, I have rescued my own dignity (by God's grace), and I will leave this company on positive terms for all of us.

Yes, I'm terrified to be doing this when I don't have another job to go to, but this is clearly in God's hands. The time is clearly right, and really, the worst that can happen is that 6 months from now the foreclosure proceedings will be in place and my credit will be wrecked. I can live with that, and in reality, that may never happen. I'm terrified, but I now feel so completely unburdened words cannot express it!

So please pray for me as I continue to seek employment consistent with my education, experience, natural abilities, and God's will for me. I have about two months to find a job before I run out of money.

18 comments:

angelmeg said...

I will keep you in prayer but remember the first step is the scariest.

Thismight help, I wrote it when big changes were begining to happen in my work life and I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that I would have to be ready for them when they did finally come.

Keep walking in faith, faithfulness is much more important than success as the world views success. You will be surprised at how frugally you can get along.

God probably is preparing something right now that is beyond your wildest dreams, and this was the first step to begin your journey toward that new future.

Stevie said...

You are in my prayers. The Lord knows you are stepping out in faith with only His will to guide you and He will honor that. I am so excited to see what great things will come of this adventure you are going on!

The Ironic Catholic said...

Adoro, I will say a prayer for you and remember that taking a risk for authentic living is ALWAYS a good thing. Trust in God. Something will work out.

IC

Monte said...

Ditto from me, go with God's grace abounding, this is my prayer.

Emily said...

I will be sure to pray for you! I know that this is a scary first step but I think you will be so much happier in the long run. :) God has a great plan for you--your stepping out in faith is a terrific step forward. I know that He won't let you down!! :)

swissmiss said...

Adoro:
You have my prayers. Scary thing to leave your job without a net. I did it once, way back when, when I worked at an insurance company too! Good luck and God bless in the job search.

Terry Nelson said...

Congratulations and best wishes - as St. Pio said, "Pray and don't worry".

You certainly acted with honor and dignity in your resignation, God will reward that - it was very noble of you.

Adoro te Devote said...

Thank you, everyone, for your best wishes and prayers. This IS very scary, quite terrifying, actually, but deep down I am convinced it is the right thing to do, even though it goes against everything practical. Who quits a job without anywhere else to go?

Apparently Adoro does.

Tonight at Mass the Gospel was, "The Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head."

I told Jesus that he can lay his head at my house...until they foreclose, anyway. :-)

Terry ~ I don't think there was anything "noble" about what I did. I simply consider myself to be a professional, and it's only appropriate to leave as a professional. Had I quit in March like I wanted to, I would not have left professionally, and I'd be regretting that in a major way.

I don't want to burn any bridges - I can't afford it, and I'm not leaving because of personal conflict with co-workers and superiors, so it's easy to want to do things right.

uncle jim said...

"...as I continue to seek employment consistent with my education, experience, natural abilities,..."

And sometimes, quite often I believe, G-d calls us outside those areas cited by you above. So don't shut the door too quickly on something that seems to be in areas other than where you already seem to excell.

Adoro te Devote said...

uncle jim ~ I agree, but understand that I made that comment because my current job frustration stems from, not only company practices that turns employeees into robots, but the fact that for 5 years I've been working outside my abilities, and in fact, beyond the capacity of my weakness.....numbers. It's all about numbers.

If I never see another car or another number again, it'll be too soon.

I'm open to possibilities EVERYWHERE...as long as it's outside insurance and anything involving having to spend my day calculating and explaining numbers to people.

Adoro te Devote said...

Forgot to mention.....taking this job WAS outside of the categories I cited...and that's why I'm suffering now. So I stand by what I said. God gave me natural abilities, training, and experience for a reason. I'm going back to that which I never should have left.

I'm looking in Social Services, Human Services, and Corrections- specifically in the areas of probation/parole and related positions.

I'm also looking in Education, however what I've seen so far (for months) has only to do with teaching positions, all of which require licensure which is an 18 month program. Not an option right now.

And Grad school, God willing, is around the corner and who knows where it will lead?

I' actually praying that money will fall from the sky for the next 3 years so I can go to Grad school, work part time (up to 35 hours) with benefits, and study the rest of the time.

I don't see that kind of money happening, but who knows? What if there's a job out there that pays enough to allow only PT hours in order to get me through school?

I doubt it, but God's in charge. If he wants me to stand on my head for pay, at this point I'll do it.

Hmm....better go practice. Been many years since I was a gymnast.

Angela Messenger said...

I am so happy for you! PRAYERS CONTINUE - OUR LADY OF PERPETUAL HELP PRAY FOR US!

Sarah said...

I say you've worked off some purgatory, and now on for the fun stuff (which will likely be harder, and which you have likely been prepared for). But oh boy, I am excited for you, and oh so proud of you. Consider this a hug from the maternal friend from the farm, complete with a whiff of "oh sorry" and a taste of "mmm fresh from the garden". :)

Adoro te Devote said...

Thanks, Angela. I know YOU know what this is like! Please keep praying to OLPH! (I have a certain prayer card on my desk at work for frequent perusal and contemplation....)


Sarah ~ Just send me some of your fresh-cut flowers along with the "oh, sorry" and "mmm, fresh from the garden", and promise me I can raid your tomatoes someday.

I have a special affinity for raiding gardens of fresh tomatoes. Ask my Mom.

:-)

If I lose my house, I'll come down and show you what I mean and you can relive my childhood with me by raiding the garden.....

Mom's garden is always the best, and then the neighbor's down the road...

:-)

Ma Beck said...

Good move, Adoro.
You're in my prayers.
I'm proud of you.

Hidden One said...

You shall remain in my prayers.

tara said...

adoro:
Congratulations! God loves you, and will help you.

"And I tell you ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. What father among you would hand his son a snake when he asks for a fish? Or hand him a scorpion when he asks for and egg? If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the Father in heaven give the holy Spirit to those who ask him?

Along with everyone else, I'm also asking Him for you. :)

Sheesh, now you can move your mid-life crisis to 50!

Adoro te Devote said...

I feel like I just got my life back!