What is the Value of a Single Human Life?

This is a fundamental question in our society. It doesn't just touch on the huge moral (and secondarily, political) topics of abortion and euthanasia, but on something far more common:  it hits us all, every single day in every single human interaction.

I recently began re-reading a book series that was beloved to me in my youth: Lloyd Alexander's  The Chronicles of Prydain, beginning with The Book of Three.

Early on in the story, the protagonist, Taran, meets the great Warrior Prince Gwydion, his hero, and upon meeting him is both awed and disappointed. The man in person does not meet his mental image of a "hero" nor does he encourage it. He reveals his humility and wisdom when the passionate Taran suggest the two of them go against the Horned King alone.

"Then we should stop him," Taran declared. "Attack him, strike him down! Give me a sword and I will stand with you!"
"Gently, gently," chided Gwydion. "I do not say my life is worth more than another man's, but I prize it highly. Do you think a lone warrior and one Assistant Pig-Keeper dare attack the Horned King and his war band?"
Taran drew himself up. "I would not fear  him."
"No?" said Gwydion. "Then you are a fool. He is the man most to be dreaded in all Prydain..."

Ahh. What a beautiful dialogue to demonstrate the point. Here we have a lowly commoner (like most of us), and we have a Great Hero, actual royalty, even! And when the commoner wants him on a pedestal and seeks in his own pride to raise himself to the level of his hero, the humility of the hero brings him back to earth, even to the degree of calling him a "fool"!

Can you imagine such a rebuke? (Does it perhaps call to mind Jesus rebuking Peter by saying "Get behind me Satan!" or to James and John by calling them the "Sons of Thunder"?)

I couldn't move on from this passage, especially a single seemingly-insignificant line from Prince Gwydion:  "I do not say my life is worth more than another man's, but I prize it highly."

There it is. What is the value of life? Is there any such thing as one life being more valuable than another? In any give situation, who determines who should live and who should die? In any given human exchange, who is owed more respect or less respect?

Our current society is driven by hero worship. Never before in history have celebrities been such a huge force behind politics and causes. People did not used to follow mere actors, whose trade was to entertain the masses. Now, it matters not if someone is educated; it matters only that they are beautiful and popular and "in".

That is not to say that those who are "celebrities" necessarily buy into this image of themselves; I would not accuse them of valuing themselves above others, but rather, I cast the role of naive and starstruck Taran upon the American public at large.

The problem is we don't see the humility of the Prince in the story in those we as a public perceive to be our "leaders". We don't see moral fortitude (or any solid moral compass at all), and when it comes to celebrities, even the popular spokesactors haven't a leg to stand on when questioned in most cases. They are but straw idols to be cast upon the wind and torn apart by crows when the appetite suits them. They become victims of the same society that elevated them seemingly only to eventually rip them to shreds.

So let us speak directly then, of politics. Every few years it is a tidal wave of politics, a tsunami that never really goes away, but seems to regather and build for an even greater assault every four years.

I am always left scratching my head over the adulation given to certain politicians, and in contemporary society: Obama. I can't understand why he wasn't vetted and vilified as were the other candidates, and I was shocked when he was never forced to answer tough questions in previous presidential debates.  He didn't like the question he just said, "Let's move on." and they did.

I make no apology: I don't like Obama, and I have often thought, and even stated that if I were ever to meet him, I would refuse to shake his hand. His clear anti-life status, his abuse of our natural-law and Constitutional freedoms, his various methods of America-bashing in other countries, his constant prideful faux-pas in "gifts" to other Heads of State, his obvious dismay and outright attempts to crush out any legitimate criticism of himself and his policies, his attempts to crush religious freedom...all for his own power and his own glory. I despise him as a man and I am offended as what he has done to the Office of President.

And there, those last words, that's what stop me. Office. Office of President.

Many years ago I considered the Secret Service, researched it a bit and pondered for myself the role the Agents take. They agreed that they would take a bullet for the President! What a noble cause! How beautiful a way to die!

Except that ultimately, I didn't want to die for the President. I thought it would be a nice idea, but, no, no, if I was going to die for someone, I wanted to die for someone I cared about. Someone more like...me.  Someone who came from my community, lived their life and perhaps had something terrible happen to them. Someone..normal. Not someone whose life was "more valuable" than that of the average person.

I was raised to respect authority, and certainly, I do. I also learned through trial and error that respect may be owed to a particular position, but the person who holds that particular role may not be worthy of that respect; but one gives it anyway. Not for the person, but for their Office.

This is why those Secret Service Agents who protect the President can do so even if they disagree with him or even personally despise him. They do it because they defend NOT the man, but the Office. They can recognize that his life is worth no more or less than their own. What IS valuable is the office he holds, for if the Office falls, so does the country.

I have to realize, because of this, that if I ever do meet Obama and am in a position to shake his hand, I must do so, not because I respect him as a man (for I don't), but because I respect the Office of President of the United States, and it is right and just to give it and him as a human being, simple respect. I respect the fact he was created in the image and likeness of God, no matter how he has chosen to distort that image (for I am a sinner, too, and am also distorted.)

Ah! But What of Life? For Anyone? What of the Everyday?

Most of us won't meet political heavies or celebrities or royalty. Most of us just go about our lives every day and try to eke out our existence, work with people professionally and of course, simply try to keep our heads down and shoulders to the grindstone.

But if we're pressed and if we really think about it, we DO tend to give more value to certain lives than we do to others.

Think about it. In the workplace, do you treat EVERYONE with the same respect? Or do you treat the CEO with more?  How do you speak to the CEO in comparison to the IT guy locked in the basement? How to you treat your Pastor versus the Mechanic doing your brakes? How do you treat the Parish Council member versus the elderly confused lady who asks random questions and speaks about random things you know nothing about?

How many average human interactions every single day cause you to change your level of respect and interior admiration or desire for approval according to the person standing before you?

Whose life is worth more?

Is any life worth more than another?

Do the wealthy deserve more respect? Or should we not give the same respect to the poor?  To the person we dislike? To the person we like? To the person who is lost, the person who serves us in some way, the person we serve by employment or other obligation?

The issue of Life isn't to be compartmentalized; it's not just about abortion and euthanasia, but is part of our everyday lives, in every moment, every interaction.

It doesn't mean we have to like or approve of everyone. It doesn't mean we have to "respect" someone in the sense of placing them on a pedestal. What the call to value life means is this: we must hold ALL to the highest standard, we must give ALL basic human respect and it should not matter whether we are speaking the Pope, the President, the CEO, the Janitor, the Stable groom, the Housekeeper, the Pastor, the Mechanic, the Cashier, the Religious Sister, or the homeless guy on the corner. (Hint: learn his name!)

Life is life. In Genesis, we learn that blood, the symbol of Life, belongs to God alone. So it was that God Himself, through His Only Son Jesus Christ offered His blood so that we might live for eternity. Jesus gave us the example of holiness we are all to live. He did teach to respect Civic leaders, but in practice, to be like Himself.

Personalities and politics are not part of God's Kingdom; they are of the world. We are called, through Baptism to bring about the Kingdom of God in word and deed, and foundational to this is respect for all Life, and to know that every human being is willed and loved by God. It's not a matter of political action, but in how we all live our lives. It matters not if we pray outside an abortuary and then return to our regular lives and bash our neighbors and coworkers.

We have to catch ourselves when we find we are caught in the trap of valuing one life over another, and remember to find Christ in them, somewhere, recalling they, too, are known and loved.

I fall very, very short of this, every single day, and pray one day I may finally practice what I am incoherently trying to preach.


** Disclaimer:  I am not stating that the Truth should not be taught  and I am all for condemning the moral attack upon our society, namely abortion, homosexual "marriage", euthanasia, the Health Mandate, the attack upon religious freedom, etc. These things are ideas, not people. In this post I am attempting to focus on basic human discourse, no matter what our position. Every life is a gift from God and we need to treat every life we meet according to that reality, and THEN address the darkness within us that makes us into total idiots.***

Lenten Prayer and Fasting Requests

Lent is a time for prayer, fasting, and almsgiving - we are called to do all three, and can offer all together or each in part for particular intentions. Unfortunately although both of these requests were intended by the senders to be posted on Wednesday (yesterday) I was unable to do so - but it's NEVER too late to take up a rosary or penance and leap into battle!

 My friend, Andychrism, is calling for others to join her and her friend in fasting every Wednesday for Life. This is what she has to say:

Fasting Once a Week

for Life

My dear friend, Rozanne, will be praying and fasting every Wednesday in order to open the hearts of these mothers to the alternatives to abortion. I will be praying and fasting every Thursday to help heal the women who got on that bus because they felt they had no other choice.


Rozanne and I feel called to do this because we are Texans. Roe v. Wade was a Texas case. The first abortuary opened in Dallas. We Texans have a responsibility to this country for the wounds inflicted upon our sisters in the name of Choice. We are the state that has begun 40 Days for Life and we need to do even more. Will you join with two Texans in fasting and praying once a week for life? There are seven days in the week, pick any one.


Our fast is simple: bread and broth for the day with a big serving of compassionate prayer. If you can't fast from food, fast from something else. Help us spread the word. Join us. We can end the need for abortion facilities by providing more than one choice.

Go to her post and show her your solidarity and LOVE with these struggling mothers and their unborn children!

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On to Prayer:  I also received the following exhortation from John-Paul Deddens of Pray More Novenas this week: a novena for the Holy Father!

84,000 Novenas for the Pope's 84th Birthday!
Will you join me in giving the Pope a huge gift for his birthday? Pope Benedict XVI is celebrating his birthday on April 16th and I'm joining up with praymorenovenas.com to get 84,000 people to pray a novena for the Pope's 84th birthday.

On April 8th, we will begin praying for nine days leading up to and ending on the Papa Benedict's birthday. The Pope prays for us everyday so it's time to return the gift to him on the anniversary of his birth.

84,000 Novenas is a lot! So, I'm going to need your help. I want everyone who reads this blog to do the following to help with this birthday gift!
+ Sign up here: http://www.praymorenovenas.com/novenas/84000-novenas-for-pope
+ Join the facebook event and invite your friends here: http://on.fb.me/eE2Xs7
+ If you have a website, post about it there!
+ Email your friends and family and get them praying too!
I'm sure the Pope will love that we are all praying for him! Please help us reach our goal of 84,000 novenas for the Pope!
Remember to sign up to pray here: http://bit.ly/h0052O

What Would You Do About It?

Today is the March for Life in Washington, DC, and you know...I haven't seen a single secular, mainstream news report on it.

That's fine; we will not be silent and those who MUST be reached, WILL be reached: even we who have already been reached and are already horrified by the blood of infant sacrifice.

Just as this morning while scanning blog post titles, I came across this gem from Michelle at Rosetta Stone.

Here's an excerpt:

Suppose we found out that the town, or the state, had decided that raping women on that particular street corner was legal. We would probably be outraged that such a despicable crime were permitted under any conditions anywhere. Some of us might fight to abolish that law. Some of us might stand vigil on that street to warn women. Some who stand vigil might see women being dragged there by men who want to rape them and know they can legally do it only on that corner. Some standing vigil might be roused to violence in defense of the woman about to be victimized.


Suppose, despite all these efforts, the act remained legal on that corner and in other parts of the country. Suppose after a decade, hundreds or thousands of women were being raped every day, legally. How would we, as a society, cope with that?


Would the outrage remain? Would we get tired of trying to protect women? Would we stop the daily vigil and only show up on days that weren't quite as hectic (no soccer practice today, guess I have time to go rage against the violence)?


Would we have less horror of the act of rape? After a decade of being told that rape was OK, under certain circumstances, would youth brought up in that environment think rape is a big deal at all? Would we begin to justify it, perhaps thinking that the women deserved it?

Michelle's post is well worth reading and considering, and is much better than anything I can write on this subject.  So, my friends, please, go and read the rest.

Oh, and don't just leave it at reading. Let her words, let the reality of the situation inspire you into action.

The Christian Scandal

Christianity is scandalous.

God, the Almighty, the Great I AM, condescended to be conceived in the womb of a simple virgin, to be carried there for nine months and then...and then....was born immediately into filth, destitution, and a state of utter humiliation.

He was born of a pure woman for He had called her into being and through a singular grace, had removed the stain of original sin in order to reveal Himself to the world, even though He knew the world would be utterly scandalized by the grace shown to Mary, the Mother of God, and the rest of us who were not preserved by such a grace. He knew we would be forever scandalized by His perfection in a world more willing to choose sin over holiness. He knew we would be scandalized by His own followers who would continually try and fail, or perhaps not try at all even though clinging to His Name.

He knew He would be utterly rejected, utterly defiled, utterly destroyed in His body...and in so being would utterly decimate sin in order to restore humanity in His own act of satisfaction for sin.

Jesus, Son of God, Incarnate at His conception within the womb of Mary, gives testimony to the Glory of God, His plan of salvation, and the beauty and perfection of the life we are called to live...for eternity.

That is scandalous. 

Utterly, completely scandalous.

As we weep here below in this vale of tears, turning our passions to pleasure, and reaping only the consequences and remorse of sin, we are scandalized by the example of Christ who was born to give dignity to our flesh, to heal what we willfully severed, and to render justice by paying the ransom we cannot pay even if we truly cared to do so.

Advent is such a time to consider the scandal that is the coming of Christ, the scandal brought to the forefront of our culture for MONTHS every year. Even as we who love the liturgical seasons scream and cry at hearing Christmas rejoicing before Halloween, perhaps we have to admit that actually, Christ still reigns because one cannot help but think of Him somehow.

Even as we Catholic pray for Holy Souls and recognize the Saints who have become like Christ, the music that celebrates His birth plays in the background in our secular world.  Is that not a sign of hope? The world desires it for merely material means, but really, is that any different than when Christ walked the earth? After all, they tried to make Him an earthly King, a political figure, an economic figure.

The Poverty of Christ

Jesus was born into nothingness, unknown to those around him outside of His Mother Mary and St. Joseph, husband of Mary, earthly father to Jesus, our Lord and Savior. They were humble people of little means and could find no room in Bethlehem, anywhere, even for the Son of God. No matter that Mary, swollen with the life about to burst forth from her in a ray of light for the world, could barely walk so close was her Hour; there was no place for her and her child.

There was no room. Bethlehem, "House of Bread", relegated the Holy Family to the crust.

Ponder that:  Jesus was born into a world that would not make room for Him.

Is it such a surprise that nothing has changed?

The Scandal of Advent

We Catholics are called away in Advent, to be quiet, to pray, to spiritually prepare our souls to receive the Christ Child.

We are called to make room for Him in our lives, if we have not already, and if we have, to make MORE room for him. The odds are most of us think of Him only on Sundays when we have to go to Mass, or take our kids to religious education, or maybe to put a creche out as a reminder that this is what Christmas is all about.

At the same time, we are in the middle of  all the insanity as life becomes more and more hectic, with the demands of social engagements, and the traditional demands of preparing for the Feast, for family, Christmas Pageants, end-of-semester final exams...the list goes on. We are called to withdraw from the world just as the world, including the Catholic world, ramps up demands upon us.

This is scandalous, and quite appropriate, for in all of this, we are better able to experience the journey Mary made as she traveled from Nazareth to Bethlehem, passing beneath the shadow of the Cross in order to truly enter into it and make it her own.

Holy Paradox

This paradox of our Christian life against the opposing forces of secular life is the scandal of the Cradle and the Cross, and the wood is exactly the same. It calls for sacrifice, for suffering, for longing for the peace that can only come through Christ, our Savior, the Light of the World.

It is no wonder that Advent is such a tumultuous time; it is meant to be so, for only through passing through and embracing this valley can we ever break into the light and fall at the feet of Our Lord.

We long, in Advent, for peace and quiet, for the end of the demands upon us, for the crowds to leave us alone. We long for the solitude of our homes and families, for simple comforts, even when we are surrounded by lavish soirees and temptations of materialism.

In the end, our souls crave the very poverty of Christ, not understanding that we are already experiencing that poverty for our world is not wealthy; it is poor.

We are poor not always for lack of money, but for lack of holiness. Those who are the most destitute are those who have no desire for holiness. And those with the greatest poverty are those who don't even know they should desire holiness!

This world, this very economically wealthy world, is actually very poor because it does not have Christ, does not want Him, does not realize it needs Him.

We, personally, are poor because we do not have Christ...and we have not yet made room for Him.

Before the celebration of His Birth, we must take time to make room, even amidst the chaos. We must find that place in our souls where He rests, and if that space is taken up by sin , we must eradicate it.

That is scandalous.

Advent calls us to change, to look towards our ends, not just our present. For what were we created? For WHOM? Why? Have you ever wondered at the violence of the Advent readings, those that fortell the end of the world? Those readings that so harshly condemn sin and state clearly those who will not enter heaven?

It is to remind us of our Final Judgment, for as Christ came once, softly, through the womb of a virgin, then He will come with violence, and that violence will bear it all away.

Jesus came with violence in His humility, and first sons were slaughtered shortly after His birth.

The slaughter that accompanies His Second Coming may include us, and if the blade of His Just Judgment hits our own necks, we will be separated from Him for Eternity.

Advent is a call to eternity, a call to holiness, a call recognize the Kingship of Christ, to make room for Him, for if we do not do so now, will we ever?

We must live each day of Advent as though He is being born through us at any moment. Have we given our own Fiat or have we turned away and told Him we have no room in our souls for His gift of eternal life?

Christianity is only scandalous because it calls us out of ourselves, out of the darkness and into the eternal light and life of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

It is scandalous to the world because we the faithful so often try but fall, again and again.

It is scandalous because God's Mercy has more depth than the deepest ocean and more light than the brightest sun. We cannot escape His Mercy, but we can reject it and in so doing, purchase eternal damnation.

And that is scandalous, that He would allow us to reject such Life in favor of eternal corruption.

And yet He does......

Choose.

Frailty

I came across a great blog tonight, Firegirl Follies.

So far I've been impressed by what I've read. The author clearly has found her career calling, and is fueled by a heart of compassion for people in need, especially those our society at large might prefer to forget.

I was especially touched by her post on her elderly patients, and only wish I could have such a gentle disposition!

An excerpt:

Another common favorite, "Leave me ALONE!" well, you called us to come help you, "well don't touch me!" ok, do you need to go to the hospital? "NO!" ok, why did you call 911 then? "because I needed help!" ok, well let us help you then, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"


I have to giggle in the most professional of ways, but I can't help myself, bless them. I can't remember how many homes I've been to, that the walls are covered in photos of children and grandchildren. Or the veteran, whom has scores of military photos and medals across the wall. I love to hold their fraile and bony hands, some of them not knowing where or who they are, to just give them a sense of comfort. More often than not, their hands are freezing, from poor circulation. As upset as they are, and as rude as they can be, I always think of their loved ones, and the history they carry with them. I try to always remember I'll be in their place someday, and hope someone will treat me kindly and with dignity. In a lot of cases, it's hard for them to feel of importance anymore.

Please go read the rest. It's well worth your time. Maybe some of you have parents or family who are suffering from age and long-term illnesses.You worry about whether those who care for your loved ones, well...really do care.

Yes, they do.

I am reminded of the work I once did in my various health-care positions. First adolescent, then, later in life, in an adult facility.

I wrote of this in her combox, but I'm going to re-tell the tale here, too.

We had a particular gentleman who loved to go for walks, and given what this facility was, he was free to do so.

One night, I received a phone call from a local Perkins. The girl on the line identified herself as a waitress and explained that one of our residents had given her our number. The resident was lost, he had told them, so they sat him down, got him some coffee, and said they'd call us. Could we send a cab or someone to pick him up?

Oh, yes, absolutely.

I asked to speak with him so she put him on the line. He identified himself and with a humble chuckle told me, "Well...I've gotten lost again!"  *chuckle*

I laughed with him, told him it was fine, I was glad he was safe, he said that all the staff at the restaurant were very kind and he was fine until a cab could arrived. He wouldn't go anywhere else and was glad to rest for a moment.

I spoke again with the server, thanked her for her help and she expressed relief that she COULD help. I got the sense that perhaps she was familiar with the elderly and that helping him was perhaps the highlight of her evening.The coffee for him, she said, was on the house.

Shortly after this, the cab arrived to drop him off and he came in, smiling sheepishly, thanking me for my help. I welcomed him home and he went up to his floor to let his staff know he'd arrived safely and, well...to go to bed.

This man, this very lost and confused man....was a decorated hero. He dedicated his life to our country in military service, had seen combat, had saved lives.

I didn't know that until after this incident. When I learned it I considered his frail form, his sometimes-unsure smile, and his always-polite and respectful way of addressing others.

I don't think that I've EVER met such a humble soul in my life. When I think of the word "humility", he comes to the forefront of my mind. This dear gentleman, this dear, fierce, brave hero who fought so hard for our country and lost so much, taught me more in his "frailty" than he could probably ever have taught me at the pinnacle of his strength.
*

Responsibility

I've often said that I don't have a "biological clock" like so many other women seem to have. In my adult years, I've never had a desire to have children, and actually, have been made to feel very badly about that; as if I was lacking something "normal."

I was once told, by a priest, upon learning that I wasn't interested in getting married and having children, that without that desire for biological motherhood, I could not be a good religious sister.

I'd be lying if I said that his comments did not have a detrimental effect on my vocational discernment.  From that very moment, I think I stopped really discerning, because if what he said was true, then it was not possible for me to be a religious. It was a slammed door that left me in limbo.

I didn't understand at that time what "spiritual motherhood" was, or that the intuition that I was not called to be a mother in the biological sense was actually not a sign of "not being good enough" for Jesus, but should have been a sign to both me and that priest to look more deeply into God's designs.  Instead, for a couple years, I walked away, certain that, since I didn't want children, I couldn't possibly be wanted by Jesus Himself. I went away sad, thinking that something was very, very wrong with me; so much so that God Himself would reject me if I truly sought Him.

Now, to be fair to the priest, he came from a different culture, and I honestly believe that his own cultural experience and perhaps faulty formation, or even lack of ability to communicate what he really meant was not adequate to address what I was really seeking at that time. It is years later now, and I don't think badly of the priest, nor should any of you. But that doesn't change the fact of my experience and what went through my head, my heart, and straight to my soul at that time...and in the years following that terrible and destructive  conversation.

I suspect that this has happened to other women, perhaps to be blamed upon the confusion brought about by radical feminism which has done so much damage to so many souls.  There is a huge difference between a woman who senses from her very soul that she is not called to motherhood versus a woman who outright rejects motherhood for selfish reasons.  For my part, I was once one of the latter, but when I finally began seeking God, even though I didn't think I wanted children, I told God over and over again that I would trust in His decision for me. At that moment, I opened to life, if called to marriage.

I do not at heart think, even now, that I am called to marriage. I have no interest in marriage, nor in dating. I am not looking for "a partner" of any sort.  That's not to say I'm not attracted to men! On the contrary! Gosh, every so often I meet a guy and lose about a hundred IQ points, and in the most RANDOM of places!  This is actually a sign that I am actually a very normal woman!

However, though, along with that lack of call to marriage, I also am not bothered by the fact that I will never have children. I love children, and they seem to love me, but I don't mope around pining for a little bundle of joy or the pitter-patter of little feet. Now, when I hear people in certain camps suggest that women who don't sense that draw are somehow disordered, I look more closely at the source, and find that their beliefs don't line up with Catholic teaching on the nature of Vocation.

We are all called to something. Because of that, it means, obviously that we are NOT called to other things.  Not every woman is called to be a biological mother. Not every man is called to be a biological father.

None of this is new for the faithful Catholic who prays every day, or even every week, for Vocations to the priesthood and/or religious life.  This is one of the most beautiful teachings of the Church; that God calls us all out of eternity to fulfill a particular mission with regard to Salvation of souls, and as part and parcel of that Mission He calls us to a specific Vocation with which to live it out and find our way to Him ourselves.

It took me a long time to really understand that spiritual motherhood has its own call, one separate, but which is an important counterpart to the other call to biological motherhood.  Each facet supports the other. One cannot be a true spiritual mother and support abortion. One cannot be a biological mother and reject spiritual motherhood.

This evening, though, I think I finally found the words to articulate the no-man's land that I inhabit as a single woman, and it reveals WHY just being a mere "Single" is not a Vocation:

As created beings, we have within us the desire to reproduce, to co-create with God. We all have this creative force within us, this incredible creative ability. Especially as women, we recognize that, if called to biological motherhood, God  touches us at a very certain point and creates new life. Not just a combination of DNA, but an entirely new SOUL to infuse the DNA, imprinting upon it His own likeness and image! It is a miracle, it is a tender moment begotten out of the Divine love of God!

Ah, yes, procreation is a beautiful thing! Only our Salvation through the Passion, Death, and Resurrection of Christ is more stunning!

For me, though, although I appreciate the beauty of new life, I do not desire it for myself. Every so often I experience a twinge of regret and anew, search my soul for the meaning of this, looking for defect. Unfortunately, I find many defects, and it is very discouraging.

What I forget to look for is the beauty in my own state in life, and the beauty of, as a friend put it once, "being set aside".  In the Bible, many women were "set aside". Not out of ignorance, but for a special purpose. It's not an occasion of  Pride, but rather a recognition of something different, something particular for which they  have been created. In my case, it doesn't matter that I don't yet understand what that is. What matters is that I realize there are legitimate options, and those options do not depend upon me, or come from me, or glorify me. No. They all glorify God.

Tonight I was watching a random TV show, and I admit I felt a twinge when considering the family and children on the show. It wasn't a twinge of jealousy or the sense of that proverbial "biological clock."

Instead, it revealed to me the nature of Vocation, fully in union with the Mission of the Church. In that moment, I understood what the Single life is lacking and why it isn't a Vocation, and can never be so.

I've said before, and I say it now, drawing from solid Catholic resources:  a Vocation involves a formal Consecration, a Vow. Anything that floats around without an anchor is just a temporary state.  The Church, for this reason, recognizes only Three Vocations:  Priesthood, Marriage, and Religious Life (Consecrated Life).  There are some forms of Consecrated Life that do not involve living in community, and I suspect this is why some people mistake it as a "Single Vocation". It is not. Consecrated Virgins and Eremitics are not "Single" in the Vocational sense; they are formally espoused to Christ Himself.

They are not dangling participles. That's what I am, and I hang out with question marks.

The Consecration of each Vocational state in life is linked to permanency, and thus, a certain responsibility.  Something, or more commonly, someone in their charge. It had a particular charism, and a specific Apostolate, or in the case of the Priesthood, a ministry.

A parent is confirmed in their Vocation through their children, who were co-created by them and depend upon them. They are responsible for them.

A Priest is the spiritual Father to a congregation, and even beyond. He is a spiritual Father to any soul that comes his way...any soul.

A Religious, be it Sister or Brother, or Consecrated Virgin or Hermit, likewise; there is spiritual parenthood present within their area of responsibility.

I know that what is lacking in my life is that area of formal responsibility. We all desire, inherently, even unconsciously, to leave a legacy. For some that is biological, which implies also the spiritual. For others, it is simply spiritual, and when the focus is on that, it is still just as important, if secondary to biological life.

Tonight I looked around and realized that I am lacking because I am not directly responsible for anyone. I have a house, I have stuff, I have a dog. Anyone can pay for 4 walls and care for a dog. Although I pray for priests, and have "adopted" a few, that doesn't mean I'm Consecrated to that purpose. I've made no formal vows. I don't have any formal obligations outside of those of any other person in the secular world.

I'm not directly responsible for another human life, or by extension, their soul.

That is at the heart of a Vocation;  Responsibility. Chosen and accepted responsibility. It is a calling, only to be followed by a choice; to reject or accept.

For now, I am in waiting, and I accept that fact. I see this sign of desiring to be responsible as a mark of Grace. That is not to say I am immature for my age (although that may be quite true!), but rather, a sign that in the order of grace, in the order of God's plan for Salvation, that I have been  in formation under His hand and perhaps am nearing the next level.

No one becomes a parent from infancy.

Do not take these thoughts as dogma, but only the musings of a woman who once thought she had the world in her hands, only to realize the joke was on her.
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Road to Vancouver

I"m a HUGE fan of Alpine Skiing. As a child I saw it once on TV one Saturday and decided then and there that I wanted to learn how to do that!  For some reason, though, I didn't find the red Fischer-Price pieces of ski-shaped plastic to be acceptable. Go figure.

Unfortunately, I didn't learn to ski until I was 17, and took a big leap when I was in my 20's to join the Ski Patrol, experiencing there my 4th time EVER on downhill skis. But it ended well...I actually went that season from being a "non-skier" to "Rookie of the Year."  Click the link for that Adoro-patented-long-winded story.

Tonight, though, I want to talk about something else:   the United States Ski Team.

Tonight, NBC sponsored a documentary about the Alpine team, Truth in Motion: Road to Vancouver.

I watched it, drooling, still wishing I was one of them. Now that I've watched the team for so many years, I am given a whole new perspective. I remember when Julia Mancuso made her debut and when Lindsey Kildow (now Vonn)  from MN crashed in the last Olympics, in a practice run, Mancuso took her medal. It was Mancuso's day, her run.  But Vonn's career has been incredible and I have to admit, where I used to admire Picabo Street, I admire Lindsey Vonn more!

But tonight, Sarah Schleper has really caught my attention.  She's had a rough road. She has been featured in commercials, and I've watched her crash and burn in far too many races. Her characteristic "ROAR!"  when she's in the gate gets my blood running, too, and brings us all tearing down the  hill with her, looking for that big finish!

There's more, though; Sarah Schleper isn't just a racer:  She's a Mom.  She and her husband, a couple years ago found that she was unexpectedly pregnant.  In the documentary she gave her initial reaction: "NO!  Not now! I want to come back!"  She knew how hard it would be, the demands of her sport, how hard she'd been working to rehab from back surgery...and spoke only of the support of the team for her impending motherhood.  They told her good luck and they'd be waiting.

Sarah CHOSE to have her baby. In a world full of people who would say, "Think of your career!  You can't ski forever!" she said YES to life!

Now, I don't see any evidence that Mrs. Schleper's formal position is that of pro-life. However, her very decision, the beauty of her child, the fact she is sacrificing herself for her child and family and has STILL managed to get to the 2010 Olympics speaks VOLUMES.

God bless her, God bless her child, her family, and I, for one, will be hoping for her success in the upcoming Olympic Games.  GO, SARAH!

No Such Thing as "Pro-Abortion Catholic"

There is no such thing as a "Pro-abortion Catholic".   Catholics are pro-life and this IS an infallible teaching that belongs to the Deposit of Faith.

You CANNOT be CATHOLIC *and* "Pro-Choice"!

The "Pro-Abortion aka Pro-Choice 'Catholics'" seen in politics and in political organizations are people who have chosen to separate themselves from the Church in deep passionate love of their own will, ambition, and preferences, and as such, are no longer members of the Mystical Body of Christ through a very grave sin.    Therefore, they are not "Catholic".  They are people who are, for personal gain, misappropriating the Title and claiming a Privilege of being Catholic that does not belong to them by their own CHOICE.

Seriously, I find it hard to believe ANYONE claiming to be a PRACTICING Catholic (every Sunday, Holy Day of Obligation, Confession once per year, Holy Communion in state of grace during Easter Season as a bare minimum according to our precepts) would believe abortion is morally justifiable.

I don't care who you are!  If you willfully and publicly dissent against and advance teachings that contradict the Faith and Morals of the Catholic Church, you have separated yourself from us all,  and therefore you may be "Catholic" in name and by baptism (for by virtue of this, there is always hope...I'm a sinner, too, and screw up a LOT), but you LOSE the right to proclaim in conjunction with a public life and advancement in the eyes of others, a Faith you obstinately REFUSE,  ESPECIALLY if  you're using it for your political advancement to purposefully fleece those who are even more uncatechized than you!

I don't care if you're a politician, a DRE, a homosexual activist, or a housewife in rural Alabama with a blog and a little time and a column in your diocesan newspaper:  if you dissent on grave matters and KNOWINGLY and INTENTIONALLY advance your dissent through your own formal teaching...you aren't Catholic in anything other than name, and that is only by God's grace...in which you are publicly and personally refusing to partake.

That's your Choice, my friends. 

Yes, you do have a Choice...agree with God or disagree with God.

To Conceive a Child...or control your passions and keep your pants on so that you won't conceive a child.  Abortion is NOT the answer to animal passions. It's the epitome of a barbaric, tyrannical society.

To support abortion and claim Catholicism is demonically scandalous and you will NOT find support for it in the official teachings of the Church. The fact that Tertullian or Origin or St. Augustine or St Thomas Aquinas said some things in their theological musings a long time ago doesn't contradict the fact that the constant and persistent Magisterial teaching of the Church from the beginning of Christianity (ie the Church which was born out of the side of Christ) has been that abortion is morally incompatible with Christ.  Period.  You don't get to disagree with that without entering into grave sin.  Consider yourself informed now of that fact if you were previously claiming ignorance.

As a reminder, three things constitute grave (mortal) sin, which destroys the virtue of charity and renders one severed from God:

1.  The object of the sin is a grave matter (abortion is murder, even atheists agree on this because the fetus is a CHILD, a human being.)

2.  The matter is committed with full knowledge.   (The reference above...if someone is a sincerely practicing and DEVOUT Catholic, it means they have FULL KNOWLEDGE that a sin is grave and separates one from a relationship with God.)  Note that the teaching doesn't leave room for wishy-washy "opinion".  It is OBJECTIVE and BINDING.

3.  The matter is done with deliberate consent.  Active support of abortion in politics, in procuring, etc, is a willfull choice..unless forced by others contrary to one's own will. Thus it means that a woman who is forced into abortion has not committed sin. Those who forced her are DAMNED if they don't repent. Period.

No, I'm not mincing words. God is the judge, not me, and I'm not stating this to or about anyone in particular.

(More info on the morality of abortion and other common issues from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) can be found here.) 

It happens:  mothers and  fathers of pregnant daughters, families and inconvenienced boyfriends force girls/women into abortion.  Because it is legal and available and "safe".  Those women then suffer for this act against their own conscience, for the baby they wanted...but no one else did.  The women in question didn't sin....those that forced them...DID.  And as scripture tells us...Vengeance is the Lord's.  And He cares deeply for those who suffer so much.

Yes, abortion DOES harm women and it harms the children they conceived and allowed to be flushed down the toilet through use of the Pill (because that's what it does), through vacuum-suction and chemical uterine murders, etc. And it harms the fathers who helped, with the mother and God, to bring them into existence so that they could be torn to pieces in the womb in the Sacred Name of "Choice".

I'll close, then, with my starting point for we have come full circle:   There is no such thing as a "Pro-Abortion", or in politically correct warm fuzzy terms, "Pro-Choice Catholic". There is only such a thing as a prideful politician or activist who has usurped a Privileged Title for the advancement of themselves and in detriment to all of Christianity and to the Mystical Body of Christ, from which they have divorced themselves through their faithless ideological and outright demonic position.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Choose your place. Choose your politicians...just know that if they claim to be Catholic, there's more to check than the title they take for themselves in order to win your vote.

Further info:  Father Malloy, SDB at A Shepherd's Voice ALSO says you can't be Catholic and "Pro-Choice". As does, famously, Father Corapi. (I couldn't find a link to a You Tube or article that gave the full quote, but it's one he's famous for!)   


****** ANONYMOUS COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED. NO EXCEPTIONS ********* 

Calling all Mothers..and those who Aren't.

Recently after Mass, I was chatting with some friends of mine who happen to be parents of a few children, who naturally exhibit their childishness in very dramatic ways characteristic of their littleness.

There was a woman nearby who was somehow engaged by one of the children, exclaimed over them, and then, from where she stood, was clearly speaking to the parents of the children, admonishing them with great joy to "Have more!"

Certainly I agree with the sentiment, especially given our culture, wherein the default condition is to kill the child and lament later,  but I have to admit, a directive to "Have more!" actually rubs me in much the same way as the admonishment to "Stop having kids!" does from the polar opposite side of that spectrum.  Truth be told, I was a little offended on behalf of my friends who ARE having children and don't find it necessary to consult anyone other than God as to how many they should produce.

So I chose to just ignore the woman who clearly wasn't speaking to me, anyway, considering that I don't HAVE any children and I'm just the local spinster-in-waiting who happens to have a lot of friends with big families.

Oh, but wait....

As I was standing next to the father, I didn't initially realize that the woman in question was actually speaking to ME, and so I didn't understand why she continued speaking as the mother stepped away either in order to chase one of them down or to speak to someone else. In any case, I suddenly became aware that Ms. Admonishment was looking at ME and telling me to "Have Faith!" from what I could ascertain (from what I could hear), and to "Trust in God and His timing!" and all that.

I seriously could not figure out why she was looking at ME while saying all these things, considering that I clearly was not a mother, nor married, nor a parent of any kind. I couldn't figure out why she was continuing to lecture even as the father of the children wandered away looking for one of them.

It was the ongoing lecturing that got my attention as she raised her fist in the air in some form of encouragement to have more children and trust in God and have faith.  I was trying to figure out exactly WHO she was talking to considering that the children who had enamored her were all over the place, their parents were chasing them, and I was standing in one place just waiting for it all to come back to center again.

After a minute or so of me looking at her strangely, wondering if she was somehow trying to communicate with someone, I finally realized that she thought I was the mother and she was TRYING to talk to ME!

Oh, dear, and, well...Uh...um....NO.

While I thought it flattering that she assumed the adorable children at hand were MINE, when I finally realized she was directing her commentary towards me, and, in response to my very strange looks in her direction, was interpreting said confused countenance as a return expression of hopelessness and denial, I realized I had to set the record straight.

I sincerely had no idea what she had been saying before that but for those few quoted phrases, for she was standing too far away, speaking in a low tone, and since I wasn't the mother, I honestly hadn't paid much attention to her since obviously she could NOT have been speaking to me.

As it was, I did finally explain to her that I was just PRESENT in that particular space and had NOTHING to do with the presence of the children themselves. It was my great honor to point out their true parents.

This woman apparently was on a "CHILDREN!" kick, though, and apologized for her mistake as she patted me on the shoulder and repeated some of her previous litany of  "God is faithful!" and "Trust in Him!" but to this she added, "Maybe soon!"

"Um...NO. I don't think so."

She interrupted to encourage me further in what she assumed to be my future Vocation, that being to get married and have as many children as she deemed appropriate.

I thanked her but said calmly that no, I am not called to marriage.

She seemed to be completely SHOCKED by that statement. I actually reached out to hold her up because I thought she was going to fall over.

Quickly, though, she recovered herself and I held my breath, waiting for her to switch to the other extreme of exclaiming over the idea that I'm going to be a nun, and how wonderful is THAT!?

Thankfully, she made no further assumptions, apologized profusely (which was totally unnecessary given our low-key exchange) and in fact, I patted her own shoulder as I dismissed her apology as unnecessary. I was actually quite amused, and even flattered that she thought such beautiful children could have come from me.  It was very sweet.  :-)

I am who I am, though.

Simply put, I am a woman trying to find my way in the world, neither chosen nor having been chosen, only in waiting, in preparation, knowing there is more....but not knowing what that means yet.

It is a grace simply to know what it ISN'T.

We all have a calling. While I love children and of course, the ones in question are very dear to me, as are their parents, that love doesn't change the sense of knowing it isn't my Vocation.

Whether male or female, those who are not called to marriage often have assumptions made about them. On the extreme end, many assume that we hate children, hate families, etc.  Nothing could be further from the truth!

I have to admit, though, that before the recent exchange, I hadn't ever considered how certain people, in wanting to encourage life, really come across to mothers as, in their zealous love for the pro-life cause, almost DEMAND more children in exactly the same way the culture of death people try to DEMEAN the idea of more children as abhorrent and detrimental to society.

It has given me even MORE respect for larger families, and perhaps any mother, for the demand made upon them comes from all sides. Not just from the pro-death side that thinks children should be omitted in any way possible, but from those who are over-zealous and also forget that children come from God and that parents who are happily having children don't actually need pressure to have more. Aren't they already doing everything right?

Isn't GOD really in charge of life?

I have to admit I had a mad desire to compliment the woman on her interest in my reproductive system, but managed, for once. to hold my tongue. Of course she meant well, and of course she was paying me a compliment in what she thought was my motherhood...which it wasn't.

This very short, innocent exchange, though, revealed a few things to me that maybe I hadn't previously understood:

1. Firstly, that people often cross the line in their interest in very personal matters that belong only to a married couple and God.  Seriously...to tell people to have MORE children or LESS belongs to the same category of rude presumption. One never knows what people are suffering or have suffered.

(Lest someone come along and suggest otherwise, I am not speaking here of dissent against Catholic teaching on contraception and the horror of abortion. I am speaking here of someone personally ordering another person to stop having children or to start having more when that couple is clearly living in such a way as to seek God's will in their marriage, and happen to be blessed with a few children!)

 2. Secondly, that single women are STILL looked upon merely as future heifers and the very statement that we are not called to marriage is sufficient to cause a heart attack, or at the very least, a syncopal episode.

3.  Even those who are zealous for married life and children don't actually consider religious life to be the obvious alternative (WHEW! I'm SO glad I wasn't going to be the cause of TWO syncopal episodes in 30 seconds!)

4. Some people don't know how to handle the fact that you might actually KNOW you are ore AREN'T called to something, and so the calm revelation that their pet project isn't in your discernment process is sufficient to stop the spiritual assault.
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Now, lest some of my commenters get huffy and think I am not being charitable, realize that I DO think the best of this dear lady who clearly was very interested in the number of children she assumed my reproductive system could handle. I further recognize her concern with regard to wanting to encourage me in finding my alleged future husband, even though he does not exist. These are laudable things. They are false, but the intent is laudable. I was not offended and she was not offended. Therefore, none of you should be offended, either.

I do find it humorous even as I see the serious points, and realize that we have a LOT of work to do to educate even the best Catholics about the reality of Vocation.

Yes, I continue to seek mine. I know I am not called to marriage. That isn't a bad thing, as some want to assume. It doesn't mean I'm about to don a habit. It doesn't mean anything right now. It means only that I am seeking God's Will, His timing, and coming to know myself through knowing Him.

And dammit, it's a painful process, at least for some of us.

I'm seeing more and more, though, that it's hard even after the reality is discerned...because those who are married and do all they are supposed to are STILL subjected to random public opinion.

You know...the Church would be GREAT and we could all be so Holy...if it weren't for all the people around us......(1 Corinthians 12: 7-10) 

...Just making an observation..... ;-)

La Llorona

Ah, this is a tragic, tragic tale.

There are a few versions to La Llorona and I will let you search the web for them. I see that there is a movie that links her to the story of La Malinche, for, as we all know, legends take on a life of their own. As it is, I suggest you search out the term yourself and see what you find. I will try to piece it together here in a simplistic way:

Most legends of La Llorona (Weeping Woman) begin with the beauty of a young Mexican woman who catches the attention of a noble man, and in fact, men of both wealth and poverty. Predictably, she becomes the concubine of a wealthy man, possibly a Spaniard, and bears him two sons. Some stories suggest she already had her two sons when she met the nobleman with whom she fell in love.

In any case, the man is tempted either back to Spain or at least to live out a more "noble" calling by marrying a woman of higher privilege...maybe one without children. In some legends, he is a man whom, she believes, hates children and finds them an obstacle. In other legends, he has already fathered children by a noblewoman whom his family has convinced him to marry. In either case, La Llorona, as the scorned woman, is so distraught that she believes that if she is without children she will become the cherished bride she has always desired to be, and so she takes her infants and stabs them in the heart, dropping them into the river where she cries out in distress, "Mis Hijos!"

And still she is rejected by her lover, the death of her children was a vain sacrifice to the altar of convenience and selfishness.

"MIS HIJOS!"

There are other legends that tell a similar tale, but one more tame. In this other version, the sons of La Llorona played by the riverside in the evening while she cavorted with the men who so desired her beauty. And in her neglect, unsupervised, they found themselves without assistance in their boyhood games and, tragically, were drowned.

The final outcome of all the legends has the distraught mother weeping and wailing at the riverside for her lost children. Yet, she isn't crying through innocent loss, but her direct involvement in their deaths, whether through negligence or her own hand.

In the end, she took her own life, and to this day wanders the riverside, weeping and wailing for her lost children, seeking them eternally.

Mexican and American Southwestern folklore has La Llorona seeking her own children, a malevolent spirit wandering the riverbeds, digging in the mud but willing to swipe living children from the hands of other neglectful parents who allow their progeny to wander alone in dangerous areas, especially at twilight where the Xtabay also lingers seeking to devour lost souls.

Pondering La Llorona

I can't ever read this particular folklore without thinking of the reality she lives every day, in the women who so willingly slaughter their children...and in those who stand up and declare the morality of abortion.

When I hear or read the word "abortion", I see and hear La Llorona, weeping and wailing for her lost children.

I remember the laws recently passed in Mexico, and wonder how a culture that has La Llorona and Our Lady of Guadalupe so ingrained within it, which so IDENTIFIES it, can find the abomination of abortion to be compatible so as to be made LEGAL?

I don't understand how on one end so many in Mexico and America can give witness to the Legend of La Llorona and to the pregnant belly of Our Lady Of Guadalupe with the unborn infant Jesus, and how a culture so Matriarchal and so aware of the spectrum and battle for human life can, in the end, adopt the culture of Death.

I don't understand.

Can't the people, EVERYWHERE hear La Llorona crying in agony for her lost children?

Can't we hear the cries of ruptured infants, crying for their mothers, crying for their fathers who would ALLOW such destruction? Can we hear the cries of La Llorona's drowning children?

SHOULD we care for the cries of the selfish Llorona? Or should we leave her to Perdition?

In Jeremiah 31:15 we read:

Thus says the LORD: In Ramah is heard the sound of moaning, of bitter weeping! Rachel mourns her children, she refuses to be consoled because her children are no more.

The Legends of La Llorona reveal her as a woman with unbound hair, a woman of sin, weeping among the banks of Mexican rivers. When I drew my picture of La Llorona, though, I drew her in union with the Blessed Mother, who weeps for all her children.

When I ponder the story, of the woman in sin, I also hear the echoes of Sacred Scripture that point to Redemption.

In the Eighth Station of the Cross, (Luke 23) Jesus meets the weeping women.

"Weep not for Me," He tells them, as He bleeds upon their sandals, and their tears mingle with His blood, "But for your yourselves and for your children."

Our Blessed Mother wept for her Son, whom she gave up to the Cross on our behalf.

Our Lord bade the weeping women to weep NOT for Him, but...but for their own sins and those they inflicted upon their progeny, for if they could not first weep for what they lacked in themselves, how could they ever have children to mourn? Can life come out of death?

At the foot of the Cross, Jesus gave His Mother to us all, and so she weeps not for Him, who is our Savior and hers, but for all, especially those who do not weep for the right reasons. Our Lady wanders among us, crying her tears as she snatches us not to a watery grave, but to the eternal water that means life for eternity, to the ever-flowing blood of the Cross that warrants redemption, for the oil that is the Holy Spirit that empowers her children to bring life, not death, into the world.

My La Llorona shown above with a veil similar to Our Lady's, is also a tragic figure, but one who seeks out those who sacrifice their children on false altars, knowing what it is to allow true sacrifice for ultimate Redemption.

When I look at the La Llorona of folklore, I see the world as it is, a world that refuses Hope. But when I consider her under the mantle of Our Lady, I realize that even La Llorona does not weep in vain, for she is only one of those who meet Jesus as He carries His Cross, and in her weeping, helps to unite us all with our bloody Bridegroom.

Vocation, Travail, and the Joyful Mysteries

For months and months now, I've been praying the Joyful Mysteries while pondering the gift and joy of Vocation, hoping to "get" it.

As I ponder this, I find I can't actually get through all the Mysteries, for they are not yet at any point of fruition in my life. As I pray, I try to see my own life, my own Call (whatever it is, whatever it means) in that of the life of Jesus and Mary.

Maybe one day I'll formally write a meditation on each Mystery, but for now, I'm only seeking to eke out the treasures, to understand my own relationship with Jesus through them, knowing they are relevant, but not always understanding how, or why. Each time I pray these particular Mysteries, I am trying to find the Joy, find the connection, and if I am stuck, well...I either complete the rosary as prescribed or stick with where I'm stuck, pondering what I can't understand.

The First Joyful Mystery: The Annunciation

The Angel Gabriel appeared to Mary, saying, "Hail, Full of Grace! The Lord is with Thee! Blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb!" (Luke 1:28, 2:42)

Mary was at first frightened, yet had an implicit understanding of what the Angel said, for she responded in complete Trust: "Let it be done unto me according to Thy word." (Luke, 38) In the Angelus prayer, we find the Gospel of John 1:14: "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us."

All by Mary's fiat. She said yes. She said YES unconditionally. Not just then, but in every moment. When she gave her fiat, as they say, all of heaven and earth held their breath, awaiting her response. She made our salvation possible; she who had been chosen, purified, and prepared (through Grace) by God to receive the Word, gave her acquiescence to the Holy Spirit, who descended upon her as a pure vessel, like Mt. Sinai, Like the Ark of the Covenant, like the Holy of Holies; she was overshadowed by Kahvod, by the Untranslatable Kahvohd, conceiving of the Messiah out of her own flesh. A Virgin, pure, free from sin, Immaculate, for she had been created for this moment...and every moment forward.

She didn't just say "yes" in that moment, but to everything, and took action IMMEDIATELY.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace the Lord is with Thee. Blessed art Thou among women, and Blessed is the fruit of Thy Womb...Jesus.

The Second Joyful Mystery: The Visitation

Mary, having conceived of the Holy Spirit, got up and went to Elizabeth, her cousin. The Bible doesn't say much as to her reasons, but we can surmise that she was responding to the prompt of her Spouse, the Holy Spirit, and her human need to both comfort and be comforted. What we know from scripture is that she trusted in the promise of God, thus, before she arrived she knew Elizabeth in her age was with child.

To those who say Mary was "just a woman": Was that particular man-made Protestant doctrine created by MEN who have abandoned their wives and daughters? How could God call men and women to marriage and yet impregnate the Virgin Mary, abandoning her to the world? Isn't that idea a man-made, man-pleasing doctrine, suggesting sexual pleasure without responsibility? How convenient to men!

Isn't it more like the gentle, protective, creative Holy Spirit to be a gentleman, to live up to His promises and treat the Blessed Mother of Jesus as the spouse that she is and remains for eternity? Did He abandon her, or did He provide for her in every moment? Certainly He called her to suffer, but what Mother hasn't suffered?

But I digress, for this Visitation of Mary is relevant in every age, but in this Mystery, we must get to the core of the Mystery itself, which preceded the Paschal Mystery:

Mary arrived at the house of Zecheriah and upon her entrance, at the sound of her voice, the infant in St. Elizabeth's womb LEAPT at the presence of Mary when Elizabeth exclaimed to her, "Who am I that the Mother of My Lord would come to me?" (Luke 1:43)

Elizabeth recognized Mary for her sublime dignity, graced to her by God, recognizing her Vocation as Mother of us all, Mother of Jesus. St. John the Baptist, there at six month's gestation, LEAPT at Mary's and Jesus's presence (Luke 1:44); there, where Jesus would have been but a "lump of cells" in modern terms.

Was Mary just the Holy Spirit's little heifer? Was Jesus just a "mass of tissue"? Was the unborn St. John the Baptist just an overactive mass in his mother's barren womb?

If the humanity and divinity of Jesus, and the full prophetic humanity of St. John the Baptist were present in that moment, how can ANYONE claiming to be Christian and CATHOLIC claim that contraception and abortion are merely political issues?

If Jesus, a tiny tiny, scientifically unrecognizable embryo, at the point he met the fetus St. John the Baptist, were fully human beings at the time of that meeting....how can anyone who claims to be Christian continue to claim that contraception and abortion are not murder?

"Who am I that the Mother of My Lord would come to me?"

The Third Joyful Mystery: The Birth of Christ

Mary returned to Nazareth, three months later, full with child, where Joseph considered divorcing her quietly. He did not "know" her and had believed her to be pure; yet she returned clearly having conceived.

He did not want her to be stoned, and at his own word, such would be done for he was the betrayed betrothed. An Angel appeared to Joseph, revealing that indeed, his betrothed had remained pure, was chosen by God, and...so was he. Joseph the protector, Joseph the husband, Joseph the father.

The stares of the people, the scandal assumed, that Joseph had had relations with Mary before they were married! His very silence indicated both had been impure!

Both accepted the scorn without comment, letting others assume the worst, knowing God had chosen them for greater. Their humility lives on today...the scorn of their contemporaries has died in oblivion, without name, their gossip, unrecalled, their ashes...lost to the desert of Nazareth where they were buried.

Joseph and Mary, the couple scorned, have been elevated according to the glory God chose to bestow upon them; Mary conceived without sin, Theotokos, Joseph, adopted Father of God, whose adult life was lived in the shadow of the Mother of Jesus.

They traveled to Bethlehem, the place of Joseph's birth, for the census. What hardships they endured, physically and spiritually! How did the couple come to know each other in chastity and trust, knowing God had joined them, and their child would save all of humanity from their sins?

Travail

This is where I lose the thread of meditation. I know Mary is in travail, and after the conception of Christ, after the Visitation, after her journey, she gives birth.

The great Saints have said that her travail was not painful, for pain was/is penalty for sin, which she did not endure. Yet it is clear that Mary suffered far more than any woman on earth. I look to Revelation 12, where Mary (the Woman) flees to the desert and the Dragon makes war on her offspring. I know that is us; we are her offspring, for she is the Mother of all, even of Eve, whom she replaced.

I am stuck in "travail".

Even though I am single and know that I am called to marriage, I know that I am still called to motherhood in some sense. The Word has been conceived in me, and I gave my own fiat, believing it is true, accepting, foundationally, that there IS a Call from God.

I have said "Yes" to that Call, albeit imperfectly.

It has occurred to me, over the last year or so, and now, in my present darkness, that what I experience is akin to labor, although it is spiritual. A woman in travail, (labor) as her hour comes, experiences the ebb and flow of terrible, terrible contractions. She has nurtured the child in her womb for close to nine months, has sacrificed, has loved and awaits the coming of this wonderful child. She knows that what emerges is a result of love, a gift from God, and is life eternal.

As she comes closer and closer to giving birth, her pains become stronger, more intense, and longer in duration. She screams, she weeps, she writhes in pain, and no one can comfort her for there is no comfort to be found, until that tiny babe finally rests in her waiting arms, revealing her fulfillment.

It may be a moment, it may be minutes or hours, or even a few days.

Spiritually, it can be years.

I can't now write of the remaining two Mysteries; that of the Presentation of Jesus and of Finding Him in the Temple. I am still struggling to give birth to whatever I have conceived of the Lord.

For now, I must wait, accepting the intensity of the pain, trusting in God, knowing that this is not for nothing.

If I am a part of the Church, a Bride in the general sense that applies to all Christians, then it stands to reason that I must experience this travail, I must fight this war, and I must, even in this desert, know that God will open the earth to swallow what threatens.

Though my veil be torn and my countenance blemished, I can flee to my Savior, for by Him have I conceived this Faith and only through Him can I give it life and live it to the fullness.

And while they were there, the time came for her to be delivered, and she gave birth to her first-born son and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Idiocy

I'm nearing the end (I hope) of a very self-destructive week so I'm just going to keep going because at this point I have nothing to lose and don't really care:

This week a local newspaper ran an article about the planning sessions being held by the Archdiocese. I am not going to link to the article.

The article itself started off with a bad opening line, went into a basic summary of some issues faced by the local Catholic diocese, and then, if one desired, one could read the multitude of vile hatred spewed by asinine ignoramuses who aren't Catholic, who hate the Church without any factual reason for doing so, and who clearly hate anyone who professes the Catholic Faith.

As usual, several vile, ignorant, and hateful commenters trot out the abuse scandals, accuse the Vatican of withholding "wealth" and all sorts of other baseless charges leveled against the Church.

To my fellow Catholics:

The world hates us. But it hated Christ before us. Why should WE be any different?

But some of those vile, hatred-spewing idiots are unfortunately alleged "ex-Catholics", and instead of being part of the solution, they're advancing warfare against their own Mother.

We shouldn't be so surprised. People are fickle.

My fellow Catholics, if you have left the Church or are trying to leave the Church because of a few bad men, I hope you look deep into your own souls and realize you're just as evil and flawed. Who do you think you ARE, leaving the rest of the Mystical Body of Christ? What a yellow streak you have, you COWARDS! What happened to your Baptismal promises, to your Confirmation?

Or didn't you ever MEAN what you said? To you parents who had your children Baptized...didn't you MEAN it when you made those baptismal promises on behalf of your child? And now you're going to tear your children away from Jesus and take them into what, a garbage dump? Where else is there to go?

Isn't receiving OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity ENOUGH for you?

If you leave the Catholic Church because people are fallable, then you were NEVER Catholic to begin with! We aren't Catholic for our faith in Men, but for our Faith in God. And DAMMIT we are a FAMILY and you are a part of it! You do NOT get to leave your family, no matter how much your family sucks!

Blood binds, and you, Catholics, are bound by Blood, by Water, and by Oil. You don't get to leave. You can run and you think you can hide, but you'll be back because there is an indelible mark upon your soul. And you're only this angry because you feel so betrayed.

Do you think you're the only person in history who has ever been betrayed...by MAN? You haven't been betrayed by GOD, but by MAN, and MAN is fallible!

Get over yourself and focus on Our Lord who DIED for you and gave you the incredible privilege of calling you into the Catholic Church!

Our ancestors DIED for our Faith! When St. Ignatius of Antioch was eaten by lions, Catholics, average men, women, and children, who had been hiding in terror stood up and proclaimed their Christian Faith. They were all mercilessly slaughtered at the hands of pagan rulers and their henchmen. They didn't die for a lie.

And yet, you so-called "ex-Catholics" or "former-Catholics" are fleeing INTO the lies! And propagating them!

WHY are you persecuting Christ?

If our parishes close, it's YOUR own damn fault.

I'm first to admit I haven't done my part. I haven't supported my parish enough. Neither have YOU.

But there's one reason parishes are closing and I can't claim to be a part of that particular problem. Read on.....

The vile ignoramuses that comment all over secular news articles mentioning the Church keep crying that the Church is dying, the Catholic Church needs to "get with the program" or she will disappear. They say the Church is irrelevant to our age.

The vultures, clearly, are circling, but apparently they haven't read ahead; the Church will NEVER die.

The only death to be found is OUTSIDE the Church.

We see this in our modern society. Have you noticed the rate at which public schools are closing? In my county alone, my DISTRICT alone, I think, are 6 or 8 schools closing and merging.

I don't see anyone out there crying out that the American Government is dying. That's really interesting, because there are a HELL of a lot more public schools closing than there are Catholic parishes.

The reality is that both public schools and Catholic schools/parishes are actually closing for the same reason: low birth rates. Low birth rates is equal to fewer people growing up, getting jobs, paying taxes, and contributing to their parishes and other public services.

What causes low birth rates in a wealthy society such as ours?

Let's think about it..hmm.... Oh! Right! Contraception! Abortion! People, our population is IMPLODING! And NO ONE wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room. The biggest sex scandal of our time has NOTHING to do with a few perverted priests, but rather the perverted view of sex that makes people think children aren't the purpose and natural end of the sexual act!

The greatest perversion, the greatest scandal in our society is the slaughter of our unborn, and the very prevention of their lives through contraception!

But parishes are closing for more than THAT reason; greed and laziness are factors, too.

If your parish closes, it's because there aren't enough people to actually foot the bills. My guess is that there aren't enough people willing to volunteer their time to make things happen, either. I work in a parish that's doing ok, even in these times, although as it is for everyone everywhere, things are tight. Only a small percentage of the parish does ANYTHING to actually help. People arrive, they expect services they receive for free, they complain about any fees they are charged for things like religious education, never contribute to the Offertory at all, and then moan and complain that the Church isn't doing enough to help the poor, or themselves, or whatever their pet project happens to be.

HEL-LO! The Church's job is to DISTRIBUTE and ADMINISTRATE what YOU give to the poor! The POOR are YOUR problem! The people in the Church who actually keep those books take your donations and distribute them according to need and among the many different programs that require money to do things like purchase food for the poor!

And never mind the parish staff, who can't pay their own damn bills! You know why? Because YOU don't contribute enough for that, either!

What...you really think all a parish does is done for free? Maybe it could be if more of you would step up to the plate and offer your time, abilities, and expertise!

This isn't a Catholic problem.

I've spoken with people from MANY different religions, and they see the same problems, and the same causes. As it turns, out, shockingly, people are the same everywhere.

It seems to me, thought, that unfortunately, "Catholics" are the biggest whiners, especially those who actually don't know their faith at all and would rather spend time attacking it. The people who do the LEAST tend to complain the MOST when things don't go their way, and simply are at a loss when a parish they never contributed a DIME to suddenly closes. Suddenly it's someone else's fault. Let's blame it on the Vatican.

My fellow Catholics, the problems we face in the Church today are OURS. Let's take responsibility for our own failings, whether our failings belong to contraception, abortion, greediness (on our own personal part!), laziness, or anything else.

God did NOT send Christ into the world so that we could sit at His feet and whine about how no one is taking care of us and some of our spiritual leaders are sinners.

Last time I checked, Jesus died horribly for us each, individually. He called us EACH into His Body and expected we'd all contribute in some way. In fact, He sent the Holy Spirit to EMPOWER us to take Him into the world, but you know what? We suck at it, and it's because we're rejecting Him. We're sending the Holy Spirit away because we want to revel in comfort and let someone else do the heavy lifting.

Showing up for Sunday Mass once in awhile is not a "contribution". It's pathetic. Stop saying you're "contributing" or that you're "Catholic" if you haven't bothered to darken the door of a Catholic Church in decades. Stop claiming to be Catholic if your income doesn't do anything to help the Church because you refuse to offer it. Stop complaining there isn't anything in the Church for you if you're not willing to get off your fat, pampered lazy duff and offer your talents and ideas and abilities. Stop thinking that meeting the minimal premises of our Faith (which you probably can't even list) is enough.

We are not called to mediocrity, but to glory. And yes, that means YOU!

Catholics, remember who you are, who you were called to be, and in the words of St. Leo the Great, remember your dignity!

Even those of you who have fallen away...the Church needs YOU! Stop fighting so hard, suck it up, and just come back! What, you think you're the only one who has ever sinned?

Have you not read my blog? Sheesh!

I'm tired. I'm going to bed. I don't really care what the rest of you do, but the Church belongs to God. I'm in Sales and I suck at it. If you have a problem with anything I said here, take it up with Management. That would be God.

He can be reached by saying the following:

O God, Come to my Assistance. Lord, Make haste to help me.

Glory be to the Father, to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, As it was in the beginning is now and will be forever, Amen.....

"Radical" Priest = Incredible homily!

Fr. Leo of Deo Adiuvante delivered an incredible pro-life homily this weekend. Do yourself a favor and head over to hear it for yourself! Send this to everyone you know, especially those who call themselves "Pro-Choice."

In his homily he hits all the fallacious arguments against life, he even addresses the theologians misquoted by certain political figures during the last election. Is Father Leo a radical? YES and Thank God for that!

Why are you still here? Go listen now!

The Call and Friendship

A couple weeks ago, I called a friend to RSVP to her birthday party, as I'd be celebrating my own belated party with my own family that same weekend. In that voicemail I said I had my own news and looked forward to seeing them soon.

A couple days ago when I entered the chapel for Daily Mass, there was my now-a-year-older friend waiting in the Confession line. She beckoned me to her and asked for my news.

Kneeling before her, I quickly and quietly told her of my immediate vocational discernment retreat, who I was visiting and why. She hugged me joyfully, fiercely and kissed my cheek, whispering into my ear, "I so want the best for you!"

I hugged her back, grateful, for she is one who told me a couple years ago that, when I had revealed I didn't think I was Called, neither did they. But yesterday, they asked me to share my "news". I did so, for a few years ago they'd been the first to hear of it...and the first to forget and disregard it.

All of them had agreed that, most definitely, I had not been Called to religious life but it was important for me to go and find out. How ironic.

One of them, though, today, said quietly, "So the Call came back, huh?"

I told her, "The Call never really went away."

Quietly, smiling, she said, "I know."

Why is it our friends know so much...but say so little?

They all understand that the visit for the next couple weeks isn't definitive and I might well come back with an understanding that this is not where God is calling me.

A part of me thinks that they expect me to come back having learned the latter. Definitively.

It is a blessing to have such friends, though. They don't expect much of this visit, they are happy I'm going, and when it comes down to it, they will my happiness and union with God. Is there anything greater to be desired? I know without a doubt that whatever happens, they are there and I love them for it.

Another Friend Has News

I'm not the only one hearing the whisper and direct touch of Our Lord.

One of my friends let her husband give their news...she is pregnant and due in February.

This pregnancy is of special concern, for a few years ago she miscarried. My friend has a delicate medical condition that can be fatal and often finds herself at the hospital for treatment. Any pregnancy, then, is going to be a risk for her, both for the baby and for her. Please keep my friend in your prayers and her unborn child. It was hard enough for her to lose one, and she never had the chance to publicly announce that child before the dear one was lost.

Please, God, let her carry this one to term, keep her health through and beyond this pregnancy!

I ask the prayers of all of you to help my friend bring this beloved child through birth and into the world!