God Breathes - Man Receives - and Reciprocates

It occurs to me upon watching August Rush for the umpteenth time (I'm a slow learner), that the pipe organ scene that makes me cry EVERY TIME I watch it has a deeper meaning.

I connect it of course to the Mass, for as a teen I was a cantor mostly accompanied by the Pipe Organ, always wondering why my Mom was head-over-heels for it. In my life it seemed merely consequential. In fact, at the time, I hated cantoring for the Organ and  preferred piano for its unwavering 5th grade simplicity. It didn't challenge me, ergo I could sing with it, without ever being challenged beyond the level of elementary music.

Now, as I hear the gloriousness of the Pipe Organ through August Rush, even though my own parish has the premier Pipe Organ in the entire Archdiocese, I so rarely hear it.  Every time I do, via film or in real life, I am brought to my knees, and when is my own parish, and I hear it during the Sacred Liturgy, I am not just brought to my knees, but to tears for it so brings me to God as it is designed.

You see, the Pipe Organ hearkens back to Genesis...it gives back to God what He gave to Man (to US as humanity for the theologically-challenged among us).

God gave us (Man) life by breathing into Adam and therefore, all his progeny (US!).

The Pipe Organ is man expelling that breath back to God in holiness, a response of thanksgiving, supplication, praise, and sacrifice in ultimate worship.

Take a deep breath. Now expel it with all your force, knowing others are doing so the same time as you during Mass - all over the world, in every time and every century, including now and eternity beyond us all. 

That is what the Pipe Organ represents and why, as described in Sacrosanctum Concilium, the Vatican II document on the Mass, holds it in such high and necessary regard.

When such a noble instrument falls silent we lose our liturgical life and the worship due unto God in its complete fullness.

Explains a lot about our sad liturgical times, doesn't it?

Communion

We live in crazy times. Everywhere, faithful Catholics lament the long Communion lines and short Confession lines - this is true everywhere. We are either a Church filled with Saints or a Church filled with sinners pretending to be Saints. I am one of the latter on the best of days.

Every day, every Sunday, every Holy Day - whenever we as Catholics attend Mass and have an opportunity to receive Holy Communion, we should be aware of our spiritual condition and act accordingly. Yet some people wonder if they can or should attend Mass at all if they are aware of mortal sin. They have been quite literally taught that receiving Holy Communion is the highest form of "participation" and therefore they MUST do this.

Perhaps that wasn't what was truly being taught, but that is what they heard and the impression they continue to hold. Why attend Mass if one cannot go forward for Holy Communion? Few people remain in the pew in an average Catholic Church (I hear the Latino parishes tell a different story - most DON'T receive).

Our society in general is one of entitlement; if I attend this I must receive that. 

It is OWED to me. I have a RIGHT to it. Very quickly that owing and "right" become a "requirement" or the entire event is meaningless. We are a society of "I must receive something or it's not worth my time."

The problem is this: Grace is conferred in ways that are hidden. One can receive Holy Communion in a state of grace but not benefit at all if  one is not really open to the Grace available. Grace is received according to the disposition of the recipient. Not my rules; those are God's own observations and the reality of the spiritual life. If we aren't open, we may receive Our Lord, but He will dissipate with no effect if we refuse to receive what He has to offer.

If we receive Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin, we kill ourselves, spiritually. We become dead to the effects of Grace because we have committed the sin of Sacrilege. 

Today I attended Mass, the Feast of All Saints, and admit it was a temptation to not attend even though it is a Holy Day of Obligation. I "felt" unworthy. I "wondered" deep within if I should enter the presence of the Almighty if I could not receive Him. Scandalized by my own interior wanderings, the thought barely crossed my mind and I banished it back to Hell from whence it had come. I was not able to make it to Confession and knew I should not receive Our Lord.  I also knew that it was even MORE important that I attend Mass, where I could make a Spiritual Communion while remaining in my pew, praying heartily for my own conversion to a life of holiness, to overcome my sin by leaning even more heavily upon God.

There have been several occasions in which I have had had to abstain from Holy Communion, whether because of mortal sin or simply my disposition at that moment. Always, I meditate on what it is like to be out of communion with the Church, to be separated from God. It is just as important to recognize what we may suffer eternally as it is to reflect upon and hope for eternal beatitude - both contain deep spiritual messages we need to ponder intensely.

Always, though, it seems that God reaches out to me, no matter what my state. It seems that whenever I abstain from Holy Communion, there is a friend in the pew in front or behind me, or even in my same pew. At some point, God shines through them, reminding me that although perhaps my sin has cut me off from Holy Communion, I am not abandoned. A friend passes by and where they would normally do so without a word or signal, on those days I abstain, even if they don't know that I am doing so, they reach out to squeeze my hand.

This evening was no exception. Tonight, I learned during the Sign of Peace that a few friends were seated behind me and one actually asked me quickly, "How have you been?" as we exchanged the Sign. Another couple friends, as they skirted past me to go forward, tapped me on the shoulder; a sign of encouragement.

Tonight, instead of a sense of dejection, of separation, I made my Spiritual Communion with a sense of profound joy. I have been claimed by Christ, and even though I separated myself through sin, I have truly repented of that sin and attended Mass to worship God with my Catholic family. As a Catholic, I am not exiled because I am weak. I am simply aware of my own impurity at the Wedding Feast of Our Lord.

As I've pondered before and did so again tonight, simply remaining in the pew during Holy Communion is a sign, too - of Faith. Of Hope. Of Love. 

It sends a signal to others that I truly BELIEVE that this is the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Christ. Even we who cannot receive due to sin, disposition, irregular canonical issues, or even being non-Catholic, reveal Truth. Today, with my body and soul I still gave Glory to God by refusing to partake, for I know that He is Truly Present and my reception would have profaned what is Most Holy.

There are times where I have stepped over others while going forward to receive and I always stop myself from wondering; are they not Catholic? Have they not been to Confession? Are they angry with me for tripping over their children while I tried to get to "my" pew?

The answers to the questions I suppress in my mind are not important. The strongest message I receive from those in the pew during Communion is this:  they remain there because Jesus Christ is Truly and Substantially Present in the Holy Eucharist. Their place reveals more than the lines going forward. I see more reverence in those who abstain than in those who receive.

I do not mean to say that my own abstinence today is something to be glorified; it's not. I am a sinner and I COULD NOT receive, and for that, I am ashamed. I am sorry, Jesus, for my sin. I am sorry that I lacked the proper disposition to receive You.

That said, it is only that a lesson came home to me today; about the volumes spoken in silence and mystery, about the witness of Faith given by the weakest members of the Church on any given day, who testify not by going forward, but by taking the last place.

It is they who give me the courage and instill in me the virtue to honor Christ more perfectly, especially when I have sinned.

May the entire Communion of Saints pray for us all so that we may always honor Christ and grow to be more like Him every day of our lives. 

Dangerous Cult Mentality

I know a few people who have been involved in cults, usually religious ones, and they talk about how quickly one can get sucked into it.

Until the past few days, though, I really hadn't personally witnessed or experienced cult manipulation or recruitment techniques. Yet now that I have, I find that in good conscience, I must ask all my readers of good will and who aspire to holiness to heed the warning of Bishop Lennon who issued the Decree advising of the non-supernatural status of "Holy Love Ministries." Not just because the Bishop said so, but because I see very strong evidence that HLM, if it can't be considered to be a cult yet, is quickly headed in that direction. The warning signs are DEFINITELY present.

Based on information I obtained (and quoted in bold in several places below) from HowCultsWork.com, there are several warning signs that something might be a dangerous cult, a major one of which is the use of Mind Control, which may take several forms. I've chosen a couple that seem to apply to "Holy Love"

1. A normal religious organization would not have any trouble with you moving to another similar organization as long as you stayed in that same religion. Because it is the belief system that matters, not membership in an organization. For example if you were a Christian then you could move from one church to another and still be a Christian.

However cult leaders will tell you can only be "saved" (or can only be successful) in their organization alone. No other organization has the truth, all others miss the mark. So it is not the belief system that decides your future, but it the belief system AND your membership with that particular group.

I highlight this particular section because of the alleged "messages" saying that people MUST believe in the messages or they risk not being saved. Here is one example, among many:

November 10, 2009:
"While the flower of this Mission continues to open and to bloom, drawing thousands to its presence with the fragrance of its grace, there are still and always will be the detractors - the ones who deny the legitimacy of Heaven's Mission here. These are the ones who do not search out the truth but look for any reason to deny the truth itself."

"Heaven does not intercede here to compete with any existing authority, but to save souls - a goal which should be shared with one and all. Those who do not understand this must also not understand that in Heaven there are no labels as to beliefs or opinions. All of that is left behind. The only vestment that follows the soul into Heaven is the Holy Love he holds in his heart. It is man that opposes Holy Love out of error. It is God who calls you to peace through Holy Love."

There are some HUGE problems with this message. First the messenger clearly is using this to undermine legitimate criticism of the claims being made. It also undermines objective Truth, in the second paragraph, opening wide the gates to a warm and fuzzy relativism "believe what you want" as long as what people believe is the "Messages". They also clearly aren't speaking of the virtue of Charity, but of the MISSION of "Holy Love" the fraudulent institution. This theme is found THROUGHOUT these messages and it becomes more and more clear to anyone grounded in actual Truth.

So we see, there is ONE of the warning signs of mind control.

Another example of Mind Control is the use of Character Assasination, which can have different degrees:

2. Character Assassination is used to help create the guilt in you. Character Assassination is a type of false reasoning used by people and groups who have no real arguments. The technical name for Character Assassination is "The Ad hominem Fallacy".

This is what I experienced through some of the followers of the "Holy Love" Cult in Ohio, and the reason I had to go to comment moderation. The commenter commented several times, and along with other commenters from that place, kept telling me "Do not be afraid." They also suggested that I don't know my Faith, because if I did, therefore I must see that there is NOTHING wrong with the Messages at Holy Love. Ignoring, of course, the fact that I cited specific messages and pointed out the Doctrinal errors. He went on to berate me for refusing to publish one of his comments that included a link to a dissident site we both denounce. Because I didn't publish it, he insinuated, then I MUST be giving tacit approval for such a group. Bullying at its best.

Now, to be fair, this was very mild "Character Assasination" but it falls under that heading because they were clearly trying to INSPIRE fear in me that I was doing the wrong thing, they were trying to tempt me into DOUBT that the Bishop might be wrong, and therefore, in their lack of logic, if the Bishop is wrong then I am offending God.

In fact, one commenter stated very clearly that I had deleted Our Lady's words and that I will answer for that at my Judgment.

All I can say is: I certainly hope so! For all the times I have sinned, I will be glad to realize that for once, I actually did something RIGHT!

The basic premise of "Character Assasination" or maybe "Intellect Assasination" is to exert mind control over you, to make you doubt your own intellect, and through their circular logic, or if they resort to it, outright bullying (i.e. you're going to Hell because you deleted Our Lady's words), will, in a person of weak will cause them to give in. In someone with a stronger will but who must ford such tactics constantly, they may finally one day just say, "Oh, fine, if it'll shut you up, I'll go with you!"

Maybe some of you who know people involved with "Holy Love Ministries." Was THAT how they got involved? Did they have reservations but with people spouting propaganda, attacking their legitimate use of logic, attacking their character finally give in just to "shut them up" only to be taken in when surrounded by the crowd hysteria?

OTHER KEY WARNING SIGNS:

Intense Unrelenting Pressure

They call repeatedly. Meet you on campus or outside your work. Trick you into coming for only an hour and then lead you into a long study, meeting or talk. They have to keep the pressure on, otherwise you might snap out of the mind control environment they are trying to immerse you in

While as a blogger I'm a bit immune to such a technique with regard to the HLM fiasco, my guess is that those techniques are going on all over the place in the Cleveland Ohio area, or any area where the "Messenger" goes to speak and see her alleged visions. I will say though that these commenters who bombarded me repeatedly said that I should go there, wanted to press points, continued to quote messages at me, etc. VERY cultish behavior. It's why I refused to post the comments. Seriously, I took a nap today, came back to check email and had SEVERAL messages from the same person!

It's a big red flag that someone associated with that place would care so much that I don't believe in it and think it's bunk. So much so that he was sent to recruit me and turn me to their side. If they weren't a Cult, then they really wouldn't care. After all, if I sat here and wrote up a treatise of why I think the theology of the Baptist church down the road has faulty theology, I can guarantee you no one would care. They're probably just say, "Oh, well, she's Catholic, we don't expect her to agree."

But Holy Love Ministries clearly will tolerate NO DISSENT against their beliefs or messages or messenger. DANGER!

Now, here's a REALLY fun one, and I will end this treatise with a PERFECT example from "Holy Love" herself:

THEY TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE NOT A CULT

This is a preemptive strike against the warnings from friends and family members which they know will come. In fact some cults go as far to tell you that Satan will try and dissuade you by sending family members and friends to tell you it is a cult. When this tactic is used then often a warped form of logic occurs in the recruits' mind, the "agents of Satan" do come and tell them that it is a cult. So since the group predicted that would happen, the group therefore must true! Basically if any group tells you that they are not a cult, or that some people call them a cult, then for goodness sake find out why!

Let me show you a PERFECT example of this from the messages at "Holy Love":

November 18, 2009:

"Please realize that Satan is actively opposing this Ministry. He is trying to transform belief in the truth of these Messages into a forbidden act of disobedience. Do not be tricked, but realize that Heaven is offering abundant graces and fruits here to those who will open their hearts."

"Here at this site Heaven is trying to win the war against evil in hearts. Such an effort should be encouraged by one and all. Instead, it is presented as something to avoid. It is mankind who seeks to destroy. Heaven will not be conquered by Satan's lies. Truth will reign victorious. No one can rule against Heaven's grace."

Although this was written AFTER the Bishop's Decree regarding the unsoundness of the place, it is clearly exhibiting the very form of mind control detailed above. They are inspiring people to DOUBT and DISOBEY the Bishops, but by no means should they disobey the messages of "Holy Love." I actually saw many messages, going back even beyond 1996, that continued to say that Satan would oppose their "ministry" and they shouldn't worry about that. THAT FAR BACK.

It is my opinion, based on this, and more, that Holy Love Ministries is probably a Cult, and it's getting more and more dangerous to souls by the day. It has been working long to exercise mind control over people, and now that there has been a Condemnation from the Diocese of Cleveland on behalf of the Faithful Catholics there, "Holy Love" has cranked up the message-generating machine in order to try to do "damage control."

Use extreme caution, and if you have loved ones involved with that place, realize now why you can't reason with them: they've given over their ability to reason to a Cult.

I'm actually sending this post and my findings to a few Cult Watch groups so they can apply their own expertise and warnings. I may also turn over to them the comments received by the Cult members, which I did not publish, but hold as evidence. What I found to be particularly damning to "Holy Love" was the way these Stepford Wives parroted the messages and slogans of the place. It made my skin crawl.

It occurred to me at Mass tonight how easy it is for any of us to lose our way. But when a place that predatory that disguises itself as an angel of light and pretends to be doing great things, but with a clear diabolical agenda...well...that's just plain scary.

Catholics, you don't need private revelations in order to be Saved. If you stay close to the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion, spend time in prayer each day, read Sacred Scripture, practice virtue, and live your life as a Catholic seeking holiness, you'll be fine. That's what you need. Stay close to Christ.

If ANYONE tells you that you HAVE to believe in this or that private revelation or alleged apparition or risk going to Hell...well...run away as fast as you can. They do NOT speak with the voice of the Holy Spirit.

****************************************************************

Note: The usage of the word "cult" here doesn't refer to its original general context of "worship" but rather, of dangerous mind-controlling groups that prey on innocent people who are probably truly seeking a deeper relationship with God. Dangerous cults take small things, warp them, and exploit the faith of believers, which ultimately ends up pulling them AWAY from God. Or, in the present case of "Holy Love Ministries", it pretends to be Catholic while claiming to be Ecumenical, is heavily controlled by the "visionary" and points to the messages as the idol worthy of belief. It has separated sheep from their true shepherd by, like a mockingbird, imitating His voice through the mouth of a woman who is clearly making stuff up.

"HLM" is either Catholic or is not. If they are Catholic, they are disobedient. If they are not Catholic, they are dangerous to the Faithful who ARE under the loving authority of the Bishop who was ordained and given the authority to speak for Christ. "Holy Love Ministries" can't claim both, and in any case, the Catholics affected are bound by the Sacraments of Oil and Water and the very Body and Blood of Christ...NONE of which can be found through "Holy Love Ministries", a concept conceived in Hell and carried out through the Epic Pride of Maureen Sweeny-Kyle who has declared to her own Bishop, "NON SERVIAM! I WILL NOT SERVE!"

Last words of the Fallen Angels. The beginning of Hell.

*****************************************************************

Delicate Souls

"God never reveals sin without revealing His Mercy."

I don't recall who said it; my professor a few years ago in talking about one of John Paul II's writings, or maybe John Paul II himself. So I guess I can't give proper credit for the quote, but the message is loud and clear. It's been revealed to be true in my own life, and sometimes, by God's grace, I get to be a part of it for someone else. I hope.

Part of my parish work is sacramental preparation. If parents miss the informational meetings, they have to meet with me to get that information, and I always find those meetings to be fruitful, often for different reasons. Sometimes it's because the parent isn't Catholic but wants to be faithful to what WE believe, and wants to understand that belief so they can teach it with integrity. (I find these parents to be heroic, and pray that they will enter the Church through what they are teaching to their children. The Holy Spirit is with them.)

Sometimes, though, it's fruitful because the person is struggling with something, maybe has questions about the Faith, maybe is trying to come back...and doesn't know how. Something.

This week, it was my privilege to meet with such a person. I am grateful to God for that.

At some point in the afternoon I was inspired to go into the Church and pray for this meeting, so I did.

I expected it to be fairly routine. A nice woman, with whom I have spoken before, both on the phone and in person. I figured I would move quickly through the information, skipping over some things, reading her for her receptivity to the message and tailoring what had to be said.

As it was, we connected in a way I didn't expect, and hadn't "read".

When I speak to people about the Sacraments, especially Confession, I give a part of my own personal conversion story, and for a couple reasons: firstly so that they will realize that I am just like everyone else. Secondly, because so many people have been poorly catechized about this Sacrament, or, like me have fallen away, that they only come back because of their children. But they don't go themselves because they don't know why they should!

In talks to a group, I keep things general. In smaller meetings, though, I may get more specific.

In this particular meeting, although it didn't go as I planned, God's hand guided it. As I told her about how, when I was "away" I'd felt like a "fraud" whenever I rarely went to Mass, and thought everyone else could see through me, this person confessed she is "there" right now.

She feels disconnected, yet...still connected. She wants more, but can't seem to get to Mass as often as she desires. She admits some of this is her own fault and said outright she knew it was a sin.

It lead into a conversation about mortal sin, and the fact that missing Mass, intentionally, is a Mortal Sin.

Before I said the words that needed to be said, I prayed.

In fact, as soon as I realized she was struggling, I began asking the Holy Spirit for help with a delicate soul.

After some discussion, she said that she HADN'T known the full teaching on this, the depth of sin, but that she probably learned it in the past and that fact probably made her more culpable.

But she said something else, something ALL of us need to hear, to read, to take to heart:

"I have family members who are really really Catholic, really Traditional. If I tell them I don't go every week, they make me feel like a bad person. It makes me not WANT to go, because, if going means I'm like them, I don't WANT to be like that or with them."

Ouch.

I've paraphrased a bit as I don't remember the exact words. But we've all seen it, maybe we've been part of it. A family member, a friend, admits they haven't been a "good Catholic" because they don't go to Mass or have some other favorite sin; how do we react?

Instead of hearing what they are REALLY trying to say, we tend to beat them over the head with the Bible and the Catechism and remind them of their Baptismal responsiblities.

As this woman said, this makes her feel like a "bad person", like she is being "judged", and it scares her away. If she started out desiring to attend Mass, she leaves the discussion thinking that if everyone is like THAT...and it's not worth it.

I knew during our discussion I'd have to deliver a hard message, but I didn't want her to be chased away by the Truth that was unsuccessfully delivered by people around her. What I heard was that she was looking for someone to understand her, to hear her problems, and most importantly, her DESIRE to attend Mass every week. She WANTED to be there, but was STRUGGLING HARD with getting there, with apathy, with deciding to do other things, often related to her very young children.

Like many parents, she has been chased out of Mass by crabby grumps who can't seem to tolerate the joyful voice of a chatty toddler who can't seem to maintain silence during Mass. She, like so many others, has been shamed away and feels like she CAN'T come back until her children are old.

Aside:

I say "SHAME" to the grumps chasing parents of young children away from Mass! Keep your evil eye to yourself, refrain from Holy Communion and go to Confession to ask for forgiveness for all the parents you've chased out of Mass by your holier-than-thou-silence-your-children-with-duct-tape-so-I-can-have-perfect-silence attitude! May you all have perfect hearing so that you will NEVER stop hearing the cries of children EVERYWHERE you go, ESPECIALLY at Mass where they belong! They're a heck of a lot holier than YOU are, so if ANYONE needs to leave when they are crying, or chatty, it's probably YOU!

OK, < /rant> back to the topic:

As we spoke, I did deliver the moral teachings pertinent to our discussion, along with the message that the teaching didn't come with "judgment", as I am a sinner, too, and every day find myself in need of God's Mercy. Every moment. I let her know that indeed, it is my job to present her with the teaching, I understood her position and wanted to help her, and I've been there, too, if in a different way.

Then she confessed she hasn't been to confession in years and years. I don't know how many...but a long time.

I was actually planning to skip over it, but our conversation lead into it; I knew I had to tell her my story.

I told her the story of my "Big Confession."

A few years ago, I couldn't even THINK of that confession without crying. But now I've told it so many times that I can do so completely dry-eyed. Until this particular meeting, that is. As I explained to her my struggle to get there and finally that moment of Absolution and Mercy, I actually teared up. It wasn't a slight tearing I could just hide with a pause or forcing myself to move on, but tears actually SPILLED from my eyes.

I apologized, explained that didn't normally happen and told her that THIS is the most powerful testimony I had of God's mercy; that particular experience. And I told her I'm grateful for it.

She actually teared up, too, so we looked at each other, red-eyed in understanding. I asked her if she was nervous, given that she really DID plan to go soon. She admitted she was. We spoke of the Saints, of Divine Mercy, and I told her that I knew what it was like to be there, so I would pray for her and if she had any questions, at all, she could call me.

Take This to Heart!

This was an important meeting. Yes, a soul is coming back, and I ask you ALL to pray for her, and anyone struggling with the same issues. She WANTS to come back, is aware of sin, doesn't deny it, and really, is a soul in a state of suspended conversion.

Suspended WHY?

By her own testimony she has many good, practicing Catholics around her.

What I find disturbing is that she identifies them as "Traditional" and with the term "Traditional", she also links, some spoken, some unspoken but by context, "Merciless, Condemning, Judgmental."

Do any of US match those words? When we deal with our family members and friends who have fallen away, can we be linked in the same way?

The fact is, of course, that for some people, ANY declaration of absolute Truth, no matter how gently, of authentic Church teaching means we would be called all sorts of names and accused of all sorts of things. I'm not speaking of those rabid souls that are fleeing conversion.

I am speaking here of delicate souls desiring God, desiring to do better, but stuck, somehow, looking for someone, anyone, to hear them, to reach out to them, and help bring them in.

If someone reaches out in their crisis of Faith, having fallen away, as if out of the boat, do we hit them with the deadly aim of the anchor or do we throw them a life ring and help them swim in?

What she was experiencing was the deadly strike of anchor, and I'd argue that those who threw the anchor at her were sending out a weighty boomerang that is likely to cost them a great deal in their own final judgment.

We are indeed called to fraternal correction, and those of us who are in positions of authority, to speak for the Church, are in a special place. HOW that message is delivered is important. It makes a difference to the soul in question; are they being frightened away in a delicate state, or are they being encouraged in God's Grace, in the conversion they desire but can't seem to find?

I pray that I said the right things to this woman, and offered a life ring. I pray that she didn't leave feeling "judged" but rather, in solidarity with another struggling sinner.

Please pray for those who are seeking conversion and who are struggling to live the Faith they desire to live, in all its fullness.

We, the faithful, are ALL charged as keepers of our brothers and sisters, so we must ALL remember to speak in charity, to listen, and to guide in the seeking souls. There are those who are obstinant in their sin and reject Our Lord, and there are those who accept the teachings but are struggling to live them. Each require a different treatment. Are we willing to put our own pride aside so that we can reach out in charity and provide, in love, for the needs of the souls that come our way?

Paradigm Shift

The Archdiocese of St. Paul-Minneapolis is beginning a Planning Process involving obtaining feedback from parish leaders and all Catholics in the area, as a way to answer some major problems and needs faced by the Church today.

This is all well and good, for clearly we DO have some issues to address for infidelity is rampant in the Cities, and never was it more apparent than in yet another diocesan meeting I had to attend.

This process requires that parish employees first attend a meeting so that our designated leadership (via the Chancery) can explain what is happening and why, and to get our own feedback, give us a chance to speak with others with similar jobs, and in so doing help the archdiocese prepare for the concerns we have especially given what we see every day.

Again, well and good.

Of course, their main goal is NOT to deal with infidelity, although I'm going to be perfectly honest...MY main goal IS!

Recently I attended one of the parish-employee-directed meetings and was seated at a table with several other people from other parishes, some geographically close to mine, some not.

I felt like I was at a Call to Action meeting.

The first person to speak up immediately ranted against the "bad leadership" of priests and in so doing completely ignored the Gospel Mission we are given at Baptism, and compared the Church to a corporation, wanting priests to be more worldly, apparently. Or, instead, to "trust us" (the laity) to lead things for them (the Priests) so that they (Priests) could actually just be a sack of a sacramental machine, much like a Pez Dispenser.

I wanted to ask him if he was a member of Connecticut Voice of the Faithful and whether or not he planned a similar coup that took place in the Bridgeport diocese early this summer. (I didn't. I held my tongue.) I also managed not to point out the obvious canonical problems in his fiery argument, realizing that "pearls before swine" actually applied.

Sadly, this theme of "TRUST US!", I learned, was also taken up by other tables in the room. I will say more on this later.

It Gets Better....

There was a woman sitting near me whom I admit fully that I "profiled" as the feminazi "glass ceiling oppressive Church DIE" rebel common to today's religious education programs. Sure enough, as soon as blustery "make the Church a democracy and trust us" guy said, "let's ordain married men!" she jumped in with the bloodcurdling rallying cry of "ORDAIN WOMEN NOW!"

I seriously almost threw up on the spot. And burst into tears. Both, actually.

Just BEING there was perhaps one of the most spiritually excruciating experiences of my life as I first realized that I needed to retain my resolve to listen and hold my tongue. I wanted to leave so badly I had to hold onto my chair, realizing that for better or worse, God had set me there for a reason and so I prayed to the Holy Spirit with all my might.

The Holy Spirit wasn't very interested in actively talking to me, however, although I realized I could not remain silent.

I could not deny Our Lord in this crowd, and, as they say, "Silence gives consent." I would NOT consent! I could not be silent!

I glanced at one person at my table, a man somewhat near my age and from a very good parish, hoping he would jump in so that I could continue bleeding from my mouth mutely and not have to eject the bloody gory end of my tongue before speaking. He must have taken a vow, too, though, because he didn't say anything.

Yes, I spoke up.

I said firstly that we were addressing the wrong problems; we are CATHOLIC and as Catholics, we are NOT called to be bureaucrats! We are called to be FAITHFUL! I said that we can't hold priests responsible for the drop in numbers of Catholics fleeing to Evangelical communities, for WE are at fault!

People aren't leaving because of priests who are not businessmen...they are leaving because WE THE FAITHFUL HAVE *NOT* BEEN FAITHFUL!

I pointed out that all we need to do to see success is look to those parishes that have proven themselves to be "Vocations Factories". We need to look at what they are doing (which ALWAYS has to do with FIDELITY to the teachings of the Church), and we need to imitate it in our own parishes.

I said that if we don't put Christ first and foremost, if we don't practice prayer and fidelity, then every single program or process we institute will fail just as it has for the last 40 years.

We've lost sight of who we are, and if we don't do what we are called to do by Baptism, then we are going to be responsible for a lot of lost souls.

That's a Fact.

I keep hearing the term "Paradigm Shift"

...and every time I hear it I cringe because it's one of those hokey buzzwards dissidents love to use, but I suspect their reign is coming to an end.

In fact, I KNOW it is because in the entire 2000+ years of Catholic history, dissidents have been trying to destroy the Church from within...and no matter how many victims they spiritually and physically murder, they are denounced, they are cast out, and their ideologies FAIL.

Yes, there is a "Paradigm Shift" taking place, and it ain't goin' where the VOTF/ CTA people would like it to go.

paradigm shift, noun
Definition: a fundamental change in approach or assumptions

Yup. That's what's going on.

As an employee in this archdiocese, let me explain to you the dominating paradigm in religious education:

Eucharist is a "banquet" and we are called to the "table", there is no hope for vocations because no one wants to be a priest unless he can have lots of sex but never mind the kids, women are not choosing religious life because they can be paid better to be social workers and work in our parish programs and secular non-profits that partner with us while we enforce acceptance of homosexual behavior, contraception, and "reproductive rights" in alignment with the current political regime. Being Catholic is about "doing stuff" so anyone who is not involve must GET INVOLVED so we should start a "CatholicCorps" to make sure everyone has busy hands, but never mind the kneelers, we'll have CatholicCorps remove them as soon as possible because the old paradigm has passed away. And if we don't cave in to the culture, then everyone will go to the Evangelical communities and we're losing them because priests aren't good business administrators and so it's their fault people leave. Priests suck. Sin is social and the hierarchy is the worst offender and we hate them.

Let me please be the first to give you the paradigm that drives the Springtime of Evangelization:

1. FIDELITY! People want a faith they can DIE for, and in our watered-down wimpy programs that deny our beliefs, we are nothing more than protestants. In all honesty, though, give me a faithful Protestant any day over a dissenting "Catholic", because a good Protestant is faithful to what their religion believes and many have encouraged me to be obedient to what the Church teaches! A dissenting "Catholic", on the other hand, is heading towards the dam in a canoe without a paddle and they're oblivious to the oncoming tragedy. Dying in the dam isn't noble, it's stupid.

2. HOLINESS! Our holiness comes from the SACRIFICE of Christ, the Son of God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, spouse of our representative the Blessed Mother, our model in how to imitate Christ. We need the Sacraments, we need to recognize that Holy Communion (The Eucharist) is truly the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ.

If people are leaving the Church for some protestant mega-church with a good band and a charismatic preacher, then WE HAVE FAILED in instilling the importance of the central importance of our Faith!

3. TRUTH! People don't leave Truth. They flee lies. They only flee Truth to the degree that it's uncomfortable and demands something of them, but in that fleeing, they reconigze the Hound of Heaven and they come back in humility and joy, realizing what they've lost by running away. Those who go away and stay away have NEVER been introduce to Truth, for if they had possessed it, they would have retained it.

Like it or not, although dissent is pervasive, and the socialist ideology that rules our Nation also currently rules our local diocese, a paradigm shift is coming, and it's codeword is FIDELITY!

There's so much more to say...add your own below in the combox.

But I do have more to add on this.

I BLAME US!

I blame, we, the Faithful, for letting it happen.

If we had paid attention more to our own spiritual formation, we would not have led others astray, even unwittingly.

If we would properly order our priorities, we could spend more time in prayer, we could attend Mass more often, we could offer our sacrifices for the Church more faithfully and more efficaciously.

If we would immediately reject those writers and "theologians" who, with the scent of sulpher on their breath and in their "scholarship" ask us to "bend the rules" and find a loophole around Catholic Moral Teaching, or outright despise it, we could stomp dissent into the dust even more permanently than the heretics (Arians) stomped Bishops like the Martyr St. Flavian into the dirt for his valiant defense of the Nicene Creed spoken by several Christian religions today!

(They didn't win then and they won't win now!)

To Parents

Yes, I'm ranting at YOU now because I see it every day: YOU are the primary teachers of your children!

You have NO RIGHT to complain about the state of the Church today if ANY of the following describes you:

1. Sunday Mass and any other Mass is optional because we've decided other things are more important or convenient to our family

2. Dropping kids off at school or parish religious ed is sufficient for their spiritual formation.

3. We don't talk about religion and spirituality at home

4. Bashing religious beliefs of anyone is one of our favorite topics of conversationn. Anyone who professes to love Jesus and talk about Him freely is fodder for our between-events diatribes on what's wrong with this country.

5. Complaining about Church teaching and denigrating being Catholic as we drive to Mass or to religious ed. or Catholic School is one of my family's traditions.

6. I'm too busy to be involved with my child's religious formation. That's why I pay strangers I don't know to present a curriculum I haven't investigated to do once per week for some of the year.

7. Why should I attend a parent meeting? My family is occupied by dance lessons and sports. I don't have time.

8. If the Church would ordain women I'd be faithful, but until then I'm going to cling bitterly to my grey hair and peace signs and failing memories of Woodstock because without those things, I am nothing.

****

If any of the above, or similar, belong to your thought process, then you have NO RIGHT to complain when your children leave the Church, or have bitterness about it, or what have you. In fact, you don't even know what's going on because you haven't followed your own Baptismal OBLIGATION to learn your Faith, so how DARE you hold anyone else responsible for YOUR OWN FAILURE????!!!!

*****

ON TRUST

At the meeting I attended, I heard a LOT from people about "trusting the laity".

Actually, Priests DO trust the laity; if YOU personally don't happen to be ONE of them, then try the process of interior conversion and try actually being FAITHFUL to the teachings of the Church. Get your agenda out of the way. The parishes that are tanking aren't doing so because of the Pastor, but IN SPITE of him.

(If random guys in a diocesan meeting can spout off an attack against priests without numerical suppor, so can I defend them in the same way....the burden of proof is on the one who brought the negative charge. Legal fact.)

But you know what? Let's talk about "trust". Yes.

If I were a Priest being ordained today, I'd be very careful about how I toss that word "trust" around. I'd get to know any lay person who professed to want to "lead" the Church, seeking the motives of that person, seeking the experience, and above all, examining that person's fidelity and obedience to the teachings of Holy Mother Church.

And that's exactly what they're (recently ordained priests) are doing. They've had good formation.

They need help, though. I agree. Priests can't do it all. But as someone who actually fell away from the Faith because of people I was supposed to TRUST who fed me infidelity, lies, and pagan practices wrapped up as acceptable Catholic teaching....

Let's just say that if I was on a seminarian's committee, I'd tell him not to trust ANYONE at the parish to which he was assigned until he had gotten to know them and their agendas. We all have agendas. If you say you don't...you're lying. And they know it, too. They're Priests...not idiots.

I heard a lot about "trust" in our local meeting, and I can tell you that I wouldn't trust the soul of my DOG to the people asking our clergy to trust them, much less the souls of an entire parish. I certainly wouldn't hand over MY bank account and finances to anyone who didn't understand my faith in God and how He cares for His own.

Then again, maybe that reveals a lot...those who want the keys to the parish might NOT be one of God's own, but only posers. (Just sayin'...you be the judge of your own souls.)

I seriously doubt any priests local to me actually read my blog, which is just as well, but I DO know that many local lay Catholics do. So I would ask this of all of my faithful local readers:

GET INVOLVED AND HERE'S HOW:

There are several "townhall" meetings which are going to be held in coming months.

GO to them, make your voices heard, write letters, leave voice mails! The Archbishop is going to get an earful of a LOT of things, but what he REALLY needs to hear is the voice of the TRULY faithful; those who love the Church, who know the meaning of fidelity, who love and trust their PRIESTS but not the lay leadership.(The biggest problem in fidelity comes from lay leadership! As an insider, I am an island of orthodoxy in a hurricane of dissent and disobedience!). I will say this: TRUST ARCHBISHOP NIENSTEDT and go directly to him with your concerns especially regarding fidelity! Be charitable, write to him as you would a beloved brother who shares your beliefs...for he does!

But do not trust your local parish staff. Speaking as one...don't even trust me. I might accidentally misrepresent you. But if you know me personally, then feel free to email me your concerns or questions and I would be happy to include them in with my own voice.

Keep an eye on the website discussing the Planning Meetings, and if you can make it...GO! Bring your friends! Show your faith and make your voice heard!

My friends, I'm really not an activist. It's actually HARD for me to speak up in person, although I keep finding that I HAVE to. I've done it twice now in the last year at major diocesan events.

I'm not a debator. Some, or many of you...are. I'm going to go to the meetings, but please, someone go into this battle and speak up for the Faithful. Do so respectfully, do so intelligently, and let the Archbishop know that he is not alone in an island of the dissent about to be presented to him.

Please.

PLEASE!

*

The Faithful and Canon Law

This weekend was PACKED with great information, and I have to say, this is my favorite semester thus far!  And I think Canon Law is my favorite class so far, which shouldn't be surprising;  after all, my undergrad degree is in Criminal Justice!  

Which makes me think:  back in school, I considered studying theology as I thought it interesting. Perhaps I'd be a Canon Lawyer now if I had. As it was, I considered Law School, even recently as a combined Catholic Studies degree through the University of St. Thomas. But God's will be done, here I am years later working on an MTS with all the elements of my interest forming a very interesting pattern on God's tapestry.  

But I digress, as usual.  

There's a lot to discuss, and I think maybe the most important thing should be used to start our discussion.  Who are the Faithful?   According to Can. 205:  

"Those baptized are fully in the communion of the Catholic church on this earth who are joined with Christ in its visible structure by the bonds of the profession of faith, the sacraments, and ecclesiastical governance."  

So, what does this mean?  Let's unpack it.  

 

The above Canon is stating five things:  The Faithful must be 1. Baptized, 2. Joined with Christ in Visible Structure, 3. by the bonds of the Profession of Faith (which we pray every Sunday),  4. the Sacraments, and 5. Ecclesiastical Governance. 

1.  Baptism:  

Those who fall outside of the above are not Catholic.  Take note, then:  all who are baptized, including those of other Christian religions, therefore, are baptized also into the Catholic Faith, for we share, through the Trinitarian formula, a common Baptism of Christ. 

This is why those who convert to Catholicism from a different Christian religion do not need to be baptized again (if they were baptized in their own tradition).  If the Trinitarian (In the name of the Father, of the Son, and the Holy Spirit) is used, it is a valid Catholic baptism.  That may surprise some people, but like it or not, if they are baptized through this formula they are introduced into the Catholic community.  

HOWEVER!  Do NOT take that out of context, for the Canon goes on to define what FULL COMMUNION means, and those who have only a common baptism are not in full communion with the Church and thus are not entitled to the same rights!  

This is why it's such a concern when people are "baptized" by a radical feminist formula, that being the "Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier".  The problem is that these are different "modes", different jobs that God does, however, it's also the heresy of Modalism, also called "Sabellianism".  It's not Catholic, it's not Trinitarian, and thus, it is invalid.  Those "baptized" by such a formula have not entered the Church.  

2.  Visible Structure: 

The next point, to be in "full communion" means to be joined with Christ in the visible structure of the Church.  This also needs to be understood.  The Church is made up of only TWO types of people:   Clerics and laity.  Those are the two juridic status available to us.  

Religious are NOT another category;  those who are monks, friars, sisters, or nuns are LAITY.  They are consecrated laity, but they are NOT Clerics and are NOT in "Holy Orders", which is a Sacrament that ONLY applies to Clerics. 

Now, there are some who seem to believe that the only way to be "fully Catholic" is to enter the ranks of the Clergy.  Um, no.  It is not possible to become "more Catholic" than a Baptized, Confirmed Catholic who regularly receives the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion. That applies to Both Clergy and Laity.  Thus, a Priest is not "more Catholic"  or necessarily more holy than the laity.  Nor does this status take away from the Clerical state, for they do have a certain dignity given to them by God by virtue of their ordination, but it's not a dignity that makes them somehow "more Catholic" than the rest of us.  

Christ's plan of salvation is entirely inclusive of us all, and we all have a very important role to fulfill.   It is the role of the Priest to stand in persona Christi that Our Lord might come to us through his hands, that we might be forgiven and restored to full communion when we have sinned gravely, and it is the role of the Priest to introduce us to Christ so that we will all understand what it means to be His Bride.  It is his role to stand in for Christ so that we will be properly fed.  Complimentarily,  it is the role of the Laity to take what graces and the teachings we are given from the Word of God and from exposition on that Word from the pulpit and the Sacraments, and take that into the world in order that the Gospel might be spread. 

 THAT'S POWERFUL!  We ALL must speak for Christ, we are ALL given that authority by virtue of our baptism, and we all have the DUTY to do so! 

The reality is that both the Laity and the Clergy need one another, and we need to stand in our proper roles, in response to Christ's own personal invitation to us all.  The fact that some are called to the Priesthood does not denigrate the role of Marriage, and Marriage does not denigrate the role of Religious vows, and none of those Vocations denigrates the role of the person called to be Single, for we are all, in the way designed by God, to be holy in our own state in life, whether Clergy or Laity.  

Now, there are some who think the Church is invisible. It's not. It's extremely visible, and made up of the hierarchy that Christ established.  We have a governance, we have people, we have a real structure.  We as either Clergy or laity are involved in that structure. 

3.  Profession of Faith

Every Sunday and Solemnity, we pray together at Mass the Nicene Creed, which is our Profession of Faith. 

We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
and of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father. [original language:  consubstantial with the Father - St. Flavian WAS MARTYRED for those words!]
Through him all things were made.
For us men and for our salvation,
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered, died, and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in fulfillment of the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge
the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he
is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic
and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism
for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

THAT is our Faith, summarized there. And people have DIED for that declaration of Faith! Bishop St. Flavian was one of them; he was trampled to death by the raging Arians.  If the above is not what you are praying at Mass, then you are NOT in full communion with the Church. The above words CANNOT be changed to suit a different ideology; they have been dogmatically defined and the above is an INFALLIBLE teaching.  

4.  The Sacraments

Besides Baptism, the Church recognizes Seven Sacraments:  Baptism (already discussed), Confession, Eucharist, Confirmation, Marriage, Holy Orders, and Annointing of the Sick.  The Sacraments are what make us the Mystical Body of Christ.  

Understand that Canon Law cannot be taken apart from moral theology;  Canon Law has a proper context, and the rest of that context has to be taken into consideration when considering the different laws.  Mere reception of a Sacrament is not what brings us into full communion; we have to be properly disposed. 

Thus, if we have cut ourselves off from the Church through apostasy or mortal sin or something else, then we may not receive the Sacraments without Sacramental Confession.  Only then can we return to the foot of the Cross and receive Our Lord in the Eucharist and be re-united with the rest of the Body, and with Our Lord.  

5.  Ecclesiastical Governance

As the Faithful, we fall under the authority of the Church, and our way to holiness is guided by the governance as established by Our Lord, showing us HOW we are to become holy.  Governance indicates our rights and duties as the Faithful, to which we must adhere, and with a little information, we might understand not to be restricting, but freeing.  

I believe that this last point would be better addressed in further posts on the rights and duties of the Faithful.  

*

I Believe

It's been a very difficult Advent for me as I've battled my own sin, my own failings, and have been often brought to the throne of Mercy in the Sacrament of Confession. I can't even call it a purification of any sort; to do so would be pretentious. There has been no victory on my part, only great recognition of my own need, and in that is abundant and undeniable Grace.

As we approach Christmas, I find myself finally entering into the joy and anticipation of the season; it's been completely absent this year.


I've often thought of the Incarnation this Advent; considering how God became man, uniting both the human and the Divine. When I look around the world, when I see the filth around us, the sin, the reality of our lives, the reality of our social decisions, and the reality of our physical and spiritual weakness, I can't help but ask, "Why would HE want to become like US?"

I would NEVER have chosen this. Ever.

Let us all be thankful that God does not think as I do. For He created us to be in union with Him; when Adam and Eve fell from grace, they started the ball in motion that has brought us to where we are today.

God did not wash His hands of us and leave us to ourselves, but loved us so much that He remained involved. God has NEVER left humanity; it is always humanity that has chosen to leave God. He looked down upon us in pity, knowing what we chose and what we didn't choose. Knowing our hearts even better than we knew our own. He punished in order to convert; and never did He spurn a repentant heart. Ever.

Finally, He fulfilled His plan, and sent His only Son. We who believe in the Trinity know that Jesus is God Himself, the second Person of the Sacred Trinity, and even though our minds cannot grasp this Truth, we accept it. Christ Himself told us, "He who sees me has seen the Father" (paraphrased).


And constantly, through my devotion to the Infant of Prague, I've constantly tried to meditate, if imperfectly, upon the Incarnation. God become man, through the most unimportant of peoples, through the downtrodden, born in a dirty cave and laid in a manger encrusted with camel spit.

Most of us were born in hospitals, or homes. Maybe even cars.

Not the Messiah. And that was only the beginning of His suffering on our behalf; for we MUST see that the wood of the manger is the same wood of the Cross, and the same wood of the tree from which Adam and Eve ate, and when we consume the Body and Blood of Christ, we partake in the New and Everlasting Covenant that has redeemed us.

Twice this week, an infant boy has been placed in my arms, and I couldn't help but consider how this tiny human being was himself a reflection of the Divine Infant. So innocent. So sweet. So perfect...and so human.

So God entered the world, to save us from our sins and bring us to eternal life. So a child has led us, even unto the Cross.


The ONLY way to Heaven is through the Cross, and if we ignore that fact, we cannot call ourselves Christian.


I recently revealed my own struggle with belief this week, and in a form of reparation, I want to share with you some thoughts that have come to me over the course of my Old Testament classes in the last two years. Maybe my own denial of God was private (not everything was in the blog post), but because I am a baptized, Confirmed Catholic, I know that it is my place to "prophesy to the nations". And so I do, in the name of Christ Himself:



What I believe


I believe that Adam and Eve fell from Grace through Pride, and that the Garden of Eden was a true physical place which is now guarded by a fierce Cherubim.


I believe that Abraham is our father, and that the promise of the Lord to him has been and is being fulfilled even as we speak.


I believe that Joseph was sold into slavery, was given the keys to the kingdom, placed in position to redeem his family, and humbled in the experience.


I believe that young David killed Goliath armed with only a sling and a stone.


I believe that the 9-foot-thick walls of Jericho fell to the sounds of trumpets.


I believe that Ezekiel prophesied as directed to the valley of dry bones, and those bones rose, took on flesh and were resurrected into a great army; and that this army fortells both the Resurrection of all the dead and the reality of the Church Militant and Church Triumphant.

I believe that the Prophets were privy to the Divine counsels and prophesied not only to their own generations, but foretold the coming of the Messiah.

I believe that the Law is written on the hearts of men (as stated by Isaiah), and that those who fail to heed it are lost by choice, but are not without hope of conversion and subsequent redemption.

I believe in the Immaculate Conception, that Mary was conceived without sin.


I believe in the Virgin birth and the Incarnation of Christ.

I believe that God became man, a complete union of human and Divine, and that He had the beatific vision from His very conception and suffered all that man suffers...but without sin.


I believe that the Jesus of history and the Jesus of faith are one and the same and cannot be destroyed by bad scholarship.


I believe. In spite of myself and my own doubts, I believe.


And if I could be present at His very birth, I would prostrate myself even in the sheep dung that defines my very life, and worship Him who died that I might have eternal life.


Amen.

*

Curse for Us, Blessing for Another

I was grumbling about the 10 below 0 temperature this morning, grateful not to be living further north. The black ice on the highways is causing accidents all over the place. My dog and I are taking very short walks...for her because her paws can't take it. And me, well, the ice makes it difficult to navigate while remaining upright.

But there's another way to look at this cold and the snow that is coming again today.

Many of us are really unhappy about this weather, but what about those who benefit from it?

As a skier, I rejoice that the ski areas can make some really great snow in this kind of weather, and in spite of the temps, they'll be pulling in unbelievable business.

All the winter-oriented industries really NEED this boon, especially in this awful economy. I'm guessing that this bitter cold is going to keep a lot of people employed that, if we were having a "comfortable" winter, might well end up in a box outside of Sharing and Caring Hands.

So today, as I drive to work praying to make it safely, and as I drive home on snowy roads, I'm going to try to remember those who are benefitting. Most of us up here, especially who have to drive in the Cities, really HATE this stuff. We're suffering. Maybe this is really creating a wonderful opportunity to "offer it up" for the sake of those who see it for the blessing it is.

Maybe we all need to be more willing to "suffer" for the benefit of others.

God's will is being done; we really have no right to complain about anything.
*

Adoro's Meditation of the Day has been brought to you by bitterly-cold temperatures.
*

Modern-Day Martyrdom

Found at Orissa Burning.

Audience Hostility

A comment by Maureen in the previous post brought something to mind, and I have to wonder if it is what has made me more sensitive to audience dynamics.

Anyone who has spent any time on stage knows the phenomena; each audience has its own personality, its own dynamic. I was playing Ms. Minchin in "The Little Princess" as an 8th Grader when I first learned about this. Because that was one of the principle roles, I was on stage a lot, and got an inkling, even under my nervousness, of the energy of the audience that fed my own performance.

A couple years later, in Community Theatre, I got an even stronger sense of "audience participation" in their responsiveness or lack thereof. There was no heckling, but rather, a sense of performing to a brick wall or to a living breathing organism. Sometimes the audience was so appreciative it was literally felt and absorbed by us, and returned to them in our renewed enthusiasm. A dismal audience dampened us just as thick fog inhibits echoes.

Speaking to a hostile audience is similar, and in looking back, I have to wonder if my time on stage, as long ago as it was, gave me the ability to tune in to that group dynamic. I know that when I'm at work and speaking to a group, I can tell when they're bored, not paying attention, etc. I can feel it when they've disengaged with the topic.

And boy, if I'm the speaker, I sure can feel it when I'm being heckled! (Yes, literally!) Last fall, I remember preparing for my talk, hoping it was engaging, informative, and useful. Hoping that this group would be as receptive as RCIA had been the year before. But I hadn't accounted for the fact that the parents I was speaking to didn't want to be there, they had questions I didn't know to anticipate, and even as they sullenly arrived, the pre-speaking butterflies multiplied in my stomach.

That first night was worse than speaking to a brick wall..it was more akin to whistling in a dark alley as I waited for Freddie to appear with five razors on his left hand. There was a palpable WALL meeting my every word. In desparation, I was looking around the room, making eye contact, and connecting with the people who were nodding, or neutral, or even slightly smiling. There were some who literally had turned their chairs around so that only their backs were to me. I remember one in particular who spent the time chatting with her best friend at her table.

The absolute rudeness was shocking to me. I was amazed at the brazen disrespect. Even though throughout my life I've attended things I didn't particularly care about, and maybe even disagreed, somewhere along the line I learned to, at worst, just be bored. I've never glared at a speaker. I've never turned my back on a speaker. Maybe it came from having to give speeches in Jr. High...we all knew we had to be up there next, and we all knew how hard it was.

The next time I speak, I may address this head on for the benefit of those who might be hostile; I have to wonder, if I reveal this human side of me, maybe they'll be softened enough, remembering their own Jr. High experiences, and be willing to listen even if they disagree. It's a tactic that might be worth trying.

But it's hard to know how to handle hostility, for we don't always know WHY people are hostile. We can be certain there's a reason, and usually that reason comes from a direct personal harm, or at least something taken personally.

We are part of a Church that has, for a couple generations, not been well catechized. A week ago in class, one of our professors remarked that he's always amazed by people who make fun of the memorization methods used with the Baltimore Catechism. They could quote the entire Catechism chapter and verse, question and response. Yet they ripped on the method, stating they never learned anything, they weren't changed by it...maybe so. And he would agree...rote memorization isn't sufficient when our faith should exist to change us interiorly, not just intellectually.

But he had a good response, one I feel as well. To those of you who condemn the Baltimore Catechism and joke that you can quote it to this day: AT LEAST YOU HAVE THAT! You know more than those of us who weren't even taught the most rudimentary articles of faith. AT LEAST YOU HAVE THE ANSWERS, IF YOU WERE TO BOTHER TO TRULY ASK THE QUESTIONS.

It makes me want to cry; we are so lost. And there are so many who are lost who haven't even BEGUN to question their faith and learn about it, content with the seductive relativism of our society that pitts sports against church activities and "fun things" against God. Most of the time, the "faithful" are choosing worldly endeavors because church is a "Sunday thing", if even that.

So it stands to reason that if someone comes along and actually provides real Church teaching, the audience, even a claiming-to-be-Catholic audience tends to get very hostile. They don't know the Catechism. They get their Catholicism from the likes of Nancy Pelosi, and they learn Social Justice from groups that do social work devoid of the necessary Moral teachings that have ALWAYS guided Social Justice.

Of COURSE they're angry! Of COURSE they're insulted! But if they had the time to sit down in the presence of Our Lord, they'd realize that the source of their anger wasn't the speaker, or the teaching itself, but the anger at the spiritual poverty thrust upon them that allowed them to be without God for so long. To not know God. To give lip service but with a forked tongue.

And because they never learned, they are living a privation of good...they are living evil, and it makes them angry, because EVERYONE knows they deserved better formation.

That doesn't really help us, though, does it? Because it means that Priests who speak up, their Faith Formation staff that speak up, the average Lay Catholic who speaks up is going to take a beating from nearly everyone.

I've lost friends, and so have most of my Catholic friends who take our faith seriously. It's not because we're "judgmental" or mean about our beliefs. It is that we've been forced by the friends we thought we had to take a stand...and we can't be a part of something evil. To distance ourselves from, say, being a proxy on a Living Will that asks us to murder our friends...no, we can't do that. And so, rather than our friends hearing us out and simply taking our names off of a form, those "friends" remove us from both the form and their lives.

That's another type of audience hostility, albeit it's a smaller audience, but one that is a LOT more painful.

I truly, truly encouage those of you who are crying out for your Priests and Bishops to "have a spine!" to put your own words and lives where they put theirs. Get involved in RCIA, in Faith Formation. Are your children receiving the Sacraments this year? Offer to give a testimony, and don't mince words. Speak the Truth in love, don't be afraid to do EXACTLY what you expect your Priests and Bishops to do...and then stand up and take the backlash.

You'll have a whole different and better appreciation of what you're asking...rightfully asking. And you'll be spending a lot more time praying for those you so love to criticize, because only by experiencing that lash can you ever appreciate the agonizing pain.

If you're not a public speaker, then take your concerns and pray Stations of the Cross for the person you think should be speaking in a certain way, and withhold your unjust criticisms as a penance in honor of that person. You may be amazed at what is revealed to you through such a devotion, and the power it has for the person for whom you're praying.


It's hard to be a faithful, practicing Catholic in our world, and sooner or later we're all going to suffer for it in some way. As I've said before...make it worthwhile.
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A Quiet Moment...with Adoro

An oxymoron, I know. Deal with it. You read me. Some of you actually know me in person. Would you expect anything else?

So...first up...

HIDING THE FAITH

Do you have "liberal" or "modernist" friends? Or non-Catholic friends or co-workers? When they come to your office (if a co-worker) or to your home, are you tempted to hide some of your more obvious items that point towards your embrace of Catholicism, in order to avoid "offending" this strange person? If so...is this person more important than God to you? Are you ashamed of your heritage?

What's WRONG with you?

If you're Catholic, and you embrace our faith, then EMBRACE it! People throughout the centuries have DIED for what you love...and you're willing to put it in a closet in order to avoid "offending" someone you may not even know in a year's time? Or fear this person may reject you or your positions because you believe in Petrine Primacy as established by Christ our Savior, and you believe in the Virgin Birth and that the Bible reveals both the Christ of history AND the Christ of Faith???? Quit being such a wuss! If you claim to be Catholic....LIVE IT! Live it to the degree that you're willing to DIE for it as did your ancestors in the Faith!

Moving on..

CRITTERS

I don't know what is is with nature lately. Just yesterday when I was yacking with a co-worker in the hallway at work (a church), a bat meandered (and by that I mean...dive-bombed) through the hallway in the middle of the afternoon. Apparently he had insomnia. And he wasn't a fan of the open fire doors, so flew towards the school then doubled back a couple times, swooping at our heads.

I let out my own "WOOP!" as I jammed the key into the lock of our office door, which I'd inadvertantly forgotten to leave open. With great regret. Ironically, I'd read an article yesterday, the day of the event, about the preponderance of bats in August, and the need, in any actual contact, to be tested for rabies. Not desiring to be tested for rabies or jammed with multiple needles, I knelt on the floor as I fumbled with the lock, laughing hysterically as I remembered my last "bat hunt" when I was working security at a University. That, incidentally, was followed by yelling directions at a confused squirrel that had wandered into Heffron Hall....

And today...a nasty spider made an appearance on my desk as I was eating my luncheon salad. It was black and had two racing stripes down either side of its body, and it was really FAST! I tried to kill it with a bad magazine featuring bad vestments on the cover (a good use for the magazine, actually), but that little thing went under the desk. No WAY was I going to sit down, so I peered underneath, trying to see the spider so I could smash it into oblivion.

It was teasing me. It appeared...and disappeared, over and over again. I was peering underneath again, and the thing crawled on the edge, near my forehead, causing me to screech (for about the 3rd time), a completely involuntary reaction, as my boss the DRE yelled at me to kill the darned thing already. And she was talking to the head Custodian, who must certainly have been doubled-over laughing at the noises I was making.

Well, they don't realize that the spider disappeared SO FAST that I thought it might well have transferred itself in a single bound onto my head...and the idea made me want to prefer to die than suffer that!

But I saw it and I smashed it and instantly felt better for having committed the murder most foul. Or justified....I vote for justified. That spider TOYED with me!

And then so did my co-workers. My DRE, the boss, suggested that I can expect at some point in the future to have a remote-controlled spider dangle over my head attached to a fishing line,while I work unsuspectingly and in tranquility at my desk or somewhere else.

I assured her I'd quit with no notice should such threat take place. I think she was kidding.

I wasn't.

GOOD THINGS HAPPEN, TOO

So, after all that trauma, a cool thing also happened today. A local Hawthorne Dominican recently came to speak for us, and she did a wonderful job, and she and I somehow spoke about books and Padre Pio and other things. (Dominicans are SO COOL!!) Well, she was going to send me a book.

Today I received a package, and found not that book but a St. Dominic card with a message from her explaining the book that she DID find...one called "Quiet Moments with Padre Pio."

What an incredible book! It's filled with short meditations, things that he said or things stated about him from those who were close to him. And all that I read today is relevant to me...this book is a true gift, not just from Sister, but from Padre Pio as well.

I leave you with the blessed and profound words of the Saint himself:

SAFE IN THE DIVINE ARMS:

- April 23, 1918 letter to Erminia Gargani

Do not anticipate the problems of this life with the apprehension, but rather with a perfect hope that God, to whom you belong, will free you from them
accordingly. He has defended you up to now. Simply hold on tightly to the hand of his divine prividence and he will help you in all events, and when you are unable to walk, he will lead you.

Why should you fear when you belong to this God who strongly assured us: "We know that in everything God works for the good with those who love him"? Don't think about tomorrow's events, because the same Heavenly Father who takes care of you today will do the same tomorrow and forever.

Live tranquilly, [removing] from your imagination that which upsets you and often say to our Lord: Oh God, you are my God and I will trust in you. You will assist me and be my refuge, and I will fear nothing because not only are you with him, but you are in him and he is within you. What can a child fear in the arms of its father?

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Incredible, how he can speak so profoundly to me through such a random event and person. I'm constantly amazed at how this simple Franciscan chooses to speak to me through Dominican and other messengers, answering my latest concerns, my latest prayers, and my truest desires.

God is good. God desires our good. And when we are desperate to hear His voice...he speaks, but never as we expect.

The War Between Doubt and Faith

Jn 20:24-29

Thomas, called Didymus, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples said to him, “We have seen the Lord.” But Thomas said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Now a week later his disciples were again inside and Thomas was with them. Jesus came, although the doors were locked, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”

Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.”

Thomas answered and said to him, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.”

Today's gospel is one of my new favorites, and the more I read it, the more I see, and the more I am ashamed.

Just last night, I was praying about something big going on in my life, something that doesn't just affect me, but more importantly, it affects others. What I do or choose not to do right now could have an impact, although I'd rather not dwell too deeply on those thoughts. So I offered a simple prayer and I asked not for a "sign" per se, but rather, an affirmation that I'm doing the right thing. Or, conversely, that my actions be shut down completely if what I'm doing is outside of God's will.

Apparently it's not sufficient to me to be following what might be a prompt of the Holy Spirit and letting it take me where it will. Over the last several months as I've been following this path, doors have opened and doors have closed. What I need to do is learn patience and let God just answer rather than allowing my faith to falter becase I don't "see" what I think I'm supposed to see. God always has other plans; I don't think it's possible for we finite beings to be able to grasp God's vision of how things should be.

This morning I missed Mass, but I went to the chapel to pray and I brought my Liturgy of the Hours (when I can, I like to pray in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.) In the Office of Readings was a portion of a homily by Pope St. Gregory the Great, and I both found that my own eyes were opened AND I was convicted by his words of wisdom. So I will allow St. Gregory to speak for himself:

"Dearly beloved, what do you see in these events? Do you really believe that it was by chance that this chosen disciple was absent, then came and heard, heard and doubted, doubted and touched, touched and believed? It was not by chance but in God's providence. In a marvelous way God's mercy arranged that the disbelieving disciple, in touching the wounds of his master's body, should heal our wounds of disbelief. The disbelief of Thomas has done more for our faith than the faith of the other disciples. As he touches Christ and is won over to belief, every doubt is cast aside and our faith is strengthened. So the disciple who doubted, then, felt Christ's wounds, becomes a witness too the reality of the resurrection."

Incredible. Even in our doubt, God in His mercy finds a way to bring our doubt to true faith. We, who live over 2,000 years after the resurrection, have never seen Christ in the flesh as He was when dear St. Thomas probed His wounds. Yet we believe, for the eyewitness testimony provided in John's Gospel informs and builds our faith. We believe because we know the testimony to be true even though we have not witnessed the event ourselves. Truly, if Christ came to stand before us now, would we believe more than we do when we are at Mass, and receiving the Body and Blood of Christ in Holy Communion?

We do not need to see in order to believe, thanks to the testimony of the doubting Apostle who revealed Truth from his own skepticism.

St. Gregory tells us in the same homily:

"What is seen gives knowledge, not faith. When Thomas saw and touched, why was he told: You have believed because you have seen me? Because what he saw and what he believed were different things. God cannot be seen by mortal man. Thomas saw a human being, whom he acknowledged to be God, and said: My Lord and my God. Seeing, he believed; looking at one who was true man, he cried out that this was God, the God he could not see."

In an ironic twist, Pope St. Gregory the Great points out the obvious; it is not what we see that gives us faith. In the words of St. Paul, "Faith is the guarantee of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (LOH translation) What we can see and touch and explore informs our intellect, which in turn forms our ability to reason. It is in this very moment that the knowledge of St. Thomas is blended with his faith in the God in whom he believed, but could not see. There, before him was Christ Himself, both God and Man, the unity of whom gave him the ability to join intellect with faith.

It is this particular gospel that I was musing about some time ago that made me consider that indeed, Christ exists in human form, just as He did when He appeared to the Apostles. If He chose, Jesus could appear to us all in that form, and invite us all to explore the wounds in His hands, feet, and in His side and see that they are real. Yet, Jesus does not choose to do this; "Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed." We are more greatly blessed through the gift of faith, which asks of us also to make a conscious act of the will to believe. St. Thomas provides us with the evidence, standing in for us all in our own doubt.

Sometimes we all need some kind of affirmation when our will falters, and we fear we are leaving the path God has set us upon. And God, in His mercy, can respond with signal graces in order to reassure us. But in the abscence of those graces, we must consider the actions of St. Thomas and his initial outright REFUSAL to believe. Do we fall into that category? Do we refuse to believe if God does not respond to our demands? Or do we keep our hand to the plow, trusting that what God has revealed is true, and even as we labor, that we are being lead?

These are all questions we need to ask ourselves. Let us pray through the intercession of St. Thomas that we may always believe, especially in what has been revealed but has been unseen by ourselves.
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Skyway

I grew up in Illinois, in the Rock River Valley, nestled against the rolling hills that always tend to accompany a river. It was a white-trash neighborhood filled with people of little financial means but big hearts, and really, a place where a novel should be set. Maybe one day I'll write that novel.

We had a babysitter, a teenager who lived across the street, a "tough girl" who smoked, loved horses, and had a soft side that didn't normally manifest. But one summer day when Mom was working and Annette was in the mood, she took us hiking. We were familiar with the local trails, the ones we went sledding on in winter, the trails my brother warned me were dangerous due to the fictional quicksand, and the monsters the inhabited a particular area. But of course, I had my own imagination and I knew that Bambi and Faline and the Great Prince of the Forest resided in a small thicket where the gravel road forked, so I was never afraid to walk the trail to visit my friends down the road.

Annette, though, took us beyond the beaten paths. Through the summer humidity we barely felt, through the dappled shade, across brooks with skating water spiders that made me scream and shy away, Annette lead and even forced us onward and upward, into one of our great childhood adventures, to a destination you’ll never find in any travel guide, but which hides in the hills and valleys of Rock River Valley; Skyway.

Back in the late 80's, I remember watching the movie on TV, "Bridge to Terebithia", about a girl and a boy who are both bullied in school due to different reasons, yet find deep, true friendship and a special place shared only by them.

Back in those years, I was having problems of my own...I actually identified with both characters. I won't go so far as to say I was "bullied", but I will say that I did not identify with my peers, partially because of my introspectiveness, partially because of my family's financial poverty. When I came across that movie, although it wasn't the most, well, high-budgeted film I'd ever seen, it captured me, it brought me into it, and it reminded me of Skyway, at a time in which I was desperately missing my home in Illinois. We had recently moved to Minnesota and I didn't have many friends; this story reminded me that true friendship was better to be valued than superficial popularity.

Just tonight, I watched the remake of this story and found the impact upon me to be even greater. Tonight, I went home. Tonight, I was reminded of Skyway and the imagination of childhood.

While our visit to Skyway does not compare to the special effects of Terabithia, nonetheless, the setting is nothing if not striking in similarity. Having crossed creeks and fought our way through the Illinois wilderness in our very backyard, we entered a sort of clearing created by very high trees and very little ground vegetation. A perfect place, screened from the outside by the prairie and the trees; shaded inside creating a cool oasis from the heat of the Illinois summer. Some mysterious kids, long before us, had built a tree house, using fallen trees from the area, rejected wood from various constructions, and rope that wasn't of any use to anyone but an imaginative child. There was a fallen-tree ramp leading up to a makeshift rope bridge, leading to a grand tree house nestled between both the deadfall and the live oaks present in that place.

The first time I saw Terebithia, I knew I was looking at Skyway; and I knew the magic, I knew the characters, and I knew the friendship

Tonight I watched the 2007 version of Bridge to Terebithia , and I could not stop the tears.

I remembered Skyway, and I empathized with the unreality and denial that accompanies the revelation of death. I asked the same questions as Jessie...can God send such a child to Hell? Theologically I answered this question before the end of the movie yet was surprised to hear it addressed, if only in sentimental terms.

My friends, I have been to Terabithia, and it is every bit as beautiful and mysterious and adventuresome as portrayed in the movie. It is a version of Narnia and every other childhood fantasy-world come to life. It is a time of friendship, a reality of memory, and a location that reminds us that there is a place for childhood to remain present with us forever. Terebithia and Skyway also remind us that tragedy isn't so far away; that even in the world of imagination and fantasy, we bring a part of ourselves, we remain there, and we influence future generations.

I am still wiping the tears from my eyes as I write this; I am still looking upon Skyway, I am still absorbing Terebithia, and I see a link with Narnia. They all encompass tales not only of childhood adventure, but of real-life sacrifice for a greater goal, true friendship, and the value of imagination in a world that seeks to quash that which is not readily apparent.

We are all called to be like children, to believe like children, and to live and love like children. Let us forever be reminded of the child within us who sees the mystery and the potential of the forts built by unknown hands in the deep forests in our back yards; let us forever be reminded of the friendships built from adversity; let us forever be willing to believe that which is "impossible", for it is within impossibility that God is most gloriously manifested.