Blessed Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe!

"Hear and let it penetrate into your heart, my youngest son, that there is nothing for you to fear. Let neither your face nor your heart be worried. Do not fear this nor any other illness, nor anything pounding nor afflicting. Am I not here, I who am your Mother? Are you not in my shadow, under my protection? Am I not your fountain of life? Are you not in the fold of my mantle, in my crossed arms? Is there anything else that you need?"

Ximopaquilti María, teh titemictoc ica mahuiztic.

In Toteco yetoc mohuan.

Tateochihual tehuatizin intech nochin cihuatzitizin.

Tateochihual in Tapoxhuil den moihtic, Jesús.

Yectictitzin María, inan Dios ximotatauhti

totechcopa in tahtacolhuanime

axcan huan tomiquiliztempan.

Ma ihcon mochihua.

Dios te salve, María, llena eres de gracia,

el Señor es contigo.

Bendita tú eres entre todas las mujeres,

y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre, Jesús.

Santa María, Madre de Dios,

ruega por nosotros, pecadores,

ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte.

Amén!

Hail Mary, Full of grace

The Lord is with thee

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,

now and at the hour of our death

Amen!

Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe

I've been twice to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City; once in 1994 on the third day of our semester and the day we departed to Puebla, where we would be living for the next few months. So it was that, although I was really not practicing our faith, I prayed to Our Lady and know without a doubt that she kept her mantle over me throughout that semester and beyond.

Two years later I returned to Mexico to visit friends who had attended my college, and we made it a point to, once again, visit the Basilica.

It's an amazing place, always filled with crowds or even just individuals making a pilgrimage. There were people who could not walk who were crawling in any way they could in order to enter the Basilica. There were people who COULD walk, but chose to enter the Basilica on their knees.

For myself, when I first entered, I immediately sensed that I was in a holy place, and felt that Our Lady's eyes were on me. She knew I was there, and that sense has never left me. Even as I went through my years of rebellion, she did not take her eyes off of me, desiring that I come back to her Son.

And indeed, she brought me home and continues to remind me that she is, indeed, my Mother, too.

Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe....ruega por nosotros!

* The above drawing is one I felt compelled to draw, in pencil and ink, a day or so after I arrived in Puebla. I felt so close to Our Lady that I needed to create my own image of her. A few days later I found a protestant who, ironically, tried to teach me the Hail Mary in Spanish. Some of it is wrong, although if prayed, it would be easily understood to be the Hail Mary. (Differences in sentence structure, not meaning).

Um....I still can't pray the Hail Mary correctly in Spanish. * blush *

Decision Made

Thank you to all of you who responded to my previous post.

I have decided that this is not the time to go to Mexico, and no, I'm not a bit disappointed.

There are several reasons:

I have been to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe twice, which is far more than most people will ever experience in their lives. Additionally, there is NO GUARANTEE we'd get a chance to go to the Basilica, which is in Mexico City, very much out of the way of the wedding we'd be in Mexico to attend. While we would be going to the Cathedral in Puebla, a building built by angelic hands, well, I've been there before, too. And while Puebla is "home" for me, it will still be there after December. And if not, well, that's in God's hands.

Secondly, while my friend needs a travel companion and is willing to pay for me, that doesn't mean she can afford to, and she may find another traveling partner who is also already bound for the wedding. My going or not going is not a deal breaker for her, and she is still discerning what she is going to do.

Thirdly; someone brought up the path to holiness and doing a good for a friend. Well, this friend must make her own decisions and she will, but I must also make my own, and discern what God has already called me to do. Is this a diversion from that path? Yes. Because I will be working on things for class through December 15, plus preparing for Christmas with my family, working on other projects for work, etc., well, this trip comes at the worst possible time.

Fourth, and most important; I do not have peace with the idea of going. All it causes is anxiety, especially in looking at the timeline. Only 1 month to prepare, never mind all that I have to accomplish in relation to school and work within that month.

It is not prudent for me to go. This morning I informed my friend that I simply cannot go, and she of course understands and so is looking into her other options. My decision frees her to do what she needs to do and to look in other places for assistance; if it is God's will that she go, He will indeed get her safely to the wedding.

I love Mexico, and it will always be my second home. I hope to go to the Basilica again one day, but for now I am content to wait for God's time. This trip was not about the Basilica, but provided a possible opportunity only. That is not enough to sacrifice so much for something that may not happen.

Discernment Advice Needed

Here's the situation: I have a friend who is hoping to attend a wedding in Mexico. She really needs a travel companion, and what's cool about this is that the flight is into Mexico City...and the wedding is in PUEBLA when I spent the best 3 months of my life.

She's going to my hometown!

The price of the ticket isn't bad, just over $400, which is typical for Mexico City which has mainly business travel. She so wants to go that she is willing to pay my way.

I don't feel good about that; she's paying for the same things I am, including school. But to her, it's more important to be there, she's willing to make the sacrifice. I'm just not willing to accept that sacrifice on her part so would fully intend to pay my own way.

And it sounds like we wouldn't have to worry about hotel or anything so the expenses would be mainly travel in this case.

But then there's the passport; For around $120, I can renew my passport with a rush...which, as the trip is out about 1 month, well, a rush would be required.

I have not kept my passport updated as international travel is not a priority in my life, there have been no opportunities I could afford, so I just never went to the expense.

Now there is a possibility, and a decision must be made soon. If I'm going to get the passport update, it will have to be tomorrow.

Whether I go on the trip or not, it seems like a good idea to update the passport at this point, because one never knows. But if I'm not going to go to Mexico, is the expense justified?

And to be fair, there's another reason I want to go to Mexico again (besides the fact that it's my second home on earth): When I was there before, I was not living my faith, even though Puebla is the "City of Angels". I was in countless churches and cathedrals, and the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe...but never attended Mass. Not once.

The wedding is to take place in a Cathedral in which I have been several times as a non-Mass goer, and it is a building built by angels. Truly.

Going in early December is a way to revisit this very special place, in a very special manner, going home, and making it more "home". I'm also hoping to be able to make a real pilgrimage to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe, now that I'm a real live practicing Catholic, and have been able to recognize her intercession over the years. I've twice been to Mexico via Mexico City, have been to the Basilica twice...and yet it's never been "real". Hard to explain. But I've always regretted that I was not disposed for the graces that could have been available.

If I weren't in grad school, I'd just go. Period. But given the expense of grad school and my blegging, given the extra expense of having to renew the passport, given the possible expense of having to find someone to watch my dog, well...it's not prudent.

Or does the possiblity of a true spiritual pilgrimage, with another practicing and faithful Catholic, justify an expense such as this?

I know I must pray to Our Lady of Guadalupe, and as of now, I'm leaning towards just paying to renew my passport...and offering it to God to do with that as He wills.

Can anyone offer any advice or prayers? I can't guarantee that there will be a pilgrimage to the Basilica, although just the return to Puebla with opened eyes is a pilgrimage all by itself.

But the cost....that is making me want to say "no".

What does God want?


UPDATE: 10:11 pm CST. I can't find my Passport. It was supposed to be in a particular location where I keep other things. It's not there. And I didn't look for my birth certificate, of which I should have 2 (an original is often needed for certain things).

If there is no passport to mail in for renewal, and if I can't find an original birth certificate...well, it's a done deal and God's will is known.

I like it when He makes it simple. If X then X. If no X, then no X. Offer it up.