Define Irony

It is Divine Mercy Sunday, and this evening I finally watched the movie, "The Stoning of Soraya M."  I emerged just in time for the 10 PM News announcing the death of Osama Bin Ladin and the assurance, with his carcass in the hands of the United States, that he is now facing Divine Justice.

My friends, as difficult as it is and even though I say this while gurgling blood thanks to my clenched teeth and bitten tongue - offer a Divine Mercy chaplet for the man. He needs it far more than Judas.

**     **     **

On the movie, The Stoning of Soraya M, it came to me that this end was exactly what St. Joseph wanted to prevent with his betrothed, our Blessed Mother, when he learned she was pregnant even though they had not come together. Within the story of Soraya, within her Passion, I saw the metaphor of  the innocent woman as a Christ-figure, tortured, beaten, killed, the lamb sacrificed so that her spouse could follow his infidelity.

And in the end, no one was Redeemed, no one was freed from sin, there was no Justice, and there was certainly no Mercy. There was only death and destruction.

As the credits rolled, I prayed a Requiem and other prayers for Soraya M., and all those women of Islam stoned for their innocence for the guilt of the men who tortured them, only to find that I cannot, in sincerity, do the same for a man most in need of mercy as he stands before Our Lord in judgment. And yet, as a Christian, I know that it is necessary for our own salvation to pray for and forgive our enemies - even that criminal  Osama Bin Ladin.

Eternal Father, I offer you the body, blood, soul, and divinity, of your dearly beloved Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world. For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world. 

Jesus I trust in Thee. Jesus I trust in Thee. Jesus I trust in Thee. 

Remember: There is no such thing as Justice without Mercy.

Police, Justice, Saints

Have you ever been stopped by the Police?

The most common encounter with the Police, for most people, is either because something bad happened to them, such as a burglary or car accident or some other thing, or, perhaps, a traffic stop, better known as “being pulled over."

Has this ever happened to you?

How did you react?

Did you curse or maybe even go so far as to swear (take the Lord’s name in vain)? Did you break into a sweat, feel your blood pressure increase, hear your own heart beating in your ears without benefit of a stethoscope? (As an aside…did you identify any heart problems in that experience?)

Most importantly, did you harbor resentment against the cop who had the audacity to stop you?

Think about it, and after reading this post, think about it even harder.

Last Sunday when heading back to Minnesota from my short hiatus in Wisconsin, I was driving happily along the freeway, enjoying the fall colors, creeping past a few cars, always mindful of my speed, especially since Wisconsin and Minnesota do not have reciprocity.

Then I happened to see, in a flash, the blue car with the white stripe sitting in the median.

Whenever I see a squad car, I check my speedometer and usually see I am fine. That day, I saw that I was doing something around 80 in a 65.

Crap!

I hit the brakes immediately; only an arrogant idiot continues in his bad behavior as he encounters an authority figure. Looking into the air and whistling, for some reason, just doesn't seem to be effective while driving.

I watched in the rear-view mirror as the dreaded Wisconsin State Patrol car pulled out of its spot and accelerated, knowing darn well that it was because I was the idiot that cop was after.

Carefully, when I could, even though I hadn’t yet seen the lights, I moved into the right lane, and, still watching, saw immediately when that terrible Car of Judgment changed into my lane, following me. I knew what that cop was doing in preparation for the stop and I knew that it was over.

When I saw the lights come on, I was happy to see that we were approaching a rest stop, and although it had not been my plan to rest there, I took the exit and pulled over, thinking about the safety of the State Trooper who was stopping me.

My idiocy and inattention to my speed had put that cop in danger; I was glad for the opportunity to minimize it as much as possible while still stopping obediently without causing that unknown cop any additional stress.

Traffic stops are stressful enough.

I know; I’ve been there. I HATED freeway stops. In my department we walked up on the passenger side where we could, but all too often, the offender, in doing what he was taught, pulled up tight against the median or sound barrier in order to be out of traffic. That meant that I, as the Offending Police Officer, had to hang my authoritative rear end out into 65 mph freeway traffic, and God (as well as all cops know), drivers are oddly attracted to light.

Traffic stops are what kill most cops, y’all. It’s not Hollywood’s version of shootouts or cop show’s depiction of dangerous people who are stopped. Simply put, it is average people doing stupid things that force the police by necessity to be placed in a dangerous position that leads them into being killed.

Think about that and think about it hard the next time you complain you are stopped.

If that cop stops you and is hit by someone else, it’s YOUR FAULT. Period. Deal with it.

Were it not for your own breakage of the law, that cop would not have been standing there talking to you about the dumb thing you did to cause him or her to be standing there. And therefore, he or she would not be present in that location to be taken out by a drunk, or a driver even less inattentive than you, etc.

I’m sorry, I’ve been digressing. We were talking about ME weren't we?

Yeah. Me. The Offender.

I pulled over, finding that my cousin’s instruction on my cop-status-even-after-leaving-law-enforcement still remains: once a cop, always a cop. While I greatly cared about my own problem of, well, quite honestly, either paying for a ticket I couldn’t afford on the spot, or going to jail if I couldn’t or didn’t have the proper information, it was more important to me that the officer who was stopping me not be killed in doing so.

Yeah, my cousin (God rest his soul) was right. That training in stopping and being stopped really changes those who experience it. His observation, as I have now learned, goes far deeper than mere training; it goes all the way to deep respect and a true desire for the good of the other, if we are to become philosophical about this.

I also have to say that, even further, when you’ve broken the law, you know it, and you KNOW when what is happening to you is Justice.

As I waited for that Officer to approach my window, I thought hard about Justice. I knew I was caught breaking the law. It didn’t matter that I had not intended to hit such a speed. The fact was that I had not realized I was going so fast, and only that Squad had made me look, at that moment, at my speedometer. Yes, this traffic stop was objectively Just: I was breaking Wisconsin Law, and I was going to pay for it.

I watched to see how the officer would approach. She was coming up on the right (shoulder) so I closed my left window (to block traffic noise), opening the right one, my driver’s license already in hand.

She bent down and said to me, “You know I got you speeding.”

"Yeah.”

I was resigned to my fate already, wondering how I was going to pay this fine without going to jail.

I handed her my license and realized I was an idiot for not also having my insurance out, for which she had to ask. As I dug through my purse pocket, I found old insurance cards and began to panic. Was it even POSSIBLE that I did not put my current insurance in my purse??

I’d CITED people for having no insurance for that very failure!

As I, in growing panic, went through thing after thing in that pocket, my hands beginning to shake, I envisioned my car being towed in one direction while I, in handcuffs, went in another to await court the next day.

My friends, speaking as a former cop, even the most strict of MN cops did not recognize WI cops for being merciful. I’m sure they had the same opinion of us, all because of reciprocity laws.

The law is what it is. We were servants of that law....as was the Trooper at my window.

Thankfully I found my insurance card and handed it over. Then she asked me for Registration.

For those who don’t know, in Minnesota, this is sent to you by the State when it is time to purchase your tabs. There is something that is noted as a “cab card”, and that is your Registration. To be safe, when you purchase your Tabs, take everything the State sends you and keep it in your glove box to prove your Registration. Anyone can see your Tabs  on your plate, but the Registration has a bit more info and is easier for a cop to see if they have to stop you when you do something dumb.

I knew mine was in my glove box…somewhere. I told her verbally where it was, knowing what it is like to stand outside that window. She gave me permission to open my glove box, and I let her get a good view before I reached into it.

I also had to tell her that I was removing my seat belt in order to better access the contents. (I did NOT need a seat-belt ticket added on to what I was certain to be paying!). She told me that was fine.

Great. I paged through a whole bunch of crap I didn’t even realize was in my glove box and couldn’t find the document. My hands were shaking, I had already said to myself, “I was IN law enforcement…I know better than this…!” (I think she heard this although I meant only to be berating myself! *embarrassing*!)

Finally she said, “That’s fine. Does your car come back to you?”

“Yes. I am the only owner, everything is current.”

I’ll never forget what she said next: “I’m only going to write you a warning today. Stay in your car and I’ll be back."

I sat back, amazed.

I am the first person I know of from Minnesota who has EVER been let go with a warning from the Wisconsin State Patrol.

She would have been well-justified in writing me a ticket, which she told me when she came back, started at $200.

I don’t know why she let me go. Had I been stopping me, I am not at all sure that I would have been so merciful. 80 in a 65 ISN'T small potatoes! That’s speeding in any state, no matter what the law. ONE mph over the limit is an objective breakage of the law.

I was over by about 15 mph.

She handed me the Warning, my license and insurance, reminded me to keep it to 65, and told me to be safe. I told her the same.

As I drove off, I pulled out my rosary and I prayed it in both thanksgiving for this great mercy, and I prayed it for the Trooper in both reparation and for her safety.

I screwed up, she caught me, and because of my actions, I put her in danger.

Don’t comment below and say that by being a Trooper she takes that risk; that’s quite obvious and actually is a really stupid comment. She doesn't go into business to ask YOU to put her in danger!

The fact is this: you and I, when we break the law, whether frivolously by mistake or intentionally out of arrogance, we both put the officer who is bound to do his or her job, in serious danger.

Danger that would not exist for them were it not for our personal actions.

If you are one of those who were ever stopped for a traffic or other offense,  how did you react?

Were you arrogant? Angry? Did you wonder why they weren't stopping "REAL CRIMINALS"?

If you have broken the law, i.e., committed a crime, it means you are a criminal!Suck it up and admit it, and if you are truly a good citizen, realize that your own actions have placed another human being in danger.

If that cop died while stopping you, you’d live with that for the rest of your life.

So don’t let it happen. Ever.

If you don’t want to watch your speed for your own sake, even if you think it’s nothing to pay a ticket here and there, then think about the cop who might die just to inform you that you’re doing something stupid and should probably slow down before you kill someone.

I don’t personally know the cop who stopped me, and even if she had written me a ticket and made me pay on the spot or, had I not had documentation I legally must carry, had taken me to jail, this post would not change. (Well, it might be more interesting if she had arrested me and taken me to jail...)

But I still want to apologize to her for putting her in danger, and for that matter, the county Deputy who stopped me a few years ago when I missed a 40 mph sign in a speed trap. He was in even MORE danger because, after all, the roads were slippery and he didn’t have the buffer zone of being on an exit ramp.

I don’t know why the WI State Trooper let me go, but I do know this: I want her action to bear fruit. I want to remind people, in the name of the Wisconsin State Patrol, to keep an eye on your speed, not just for yourselves, but because of all the police officers who are willing to put themselves at risk so that others might not be killed by your stupid actions.

I took the lesson and hope it remains with me. As a cop I made traffic stops I intended to be “educative” to the driver.I am grateful to be the one receiving the education and know full well that should I breech the law again, I will not be granted another mercy.

Pray for the Police, every day. Pray for their safety, for their families who wait for them to come home at the end of their shift. Then thank God for them, for were it not for our law enforcement officers, we’d all be living in chaos.

When I was sworn in, my Mom gave me a medal, which she’d had blessed, of St. Michael the Archangel.(I don’t have it anymore as after I left, I gave it to another aspiring police officer. I also used to pray Psalm 190 every day before I went to work.

September 29 was the Feast of the Archangels, October 1st is the Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux, the Patron of Missionaries, and October 2nd is the Feast of the Guardian Angels. If Police Officers, everwhere, don’t fit into those categories (including missionary) I don’t know who does!

Please offer your prayers for those men and women who live among you, those you view with dread in your rearview mirror, and those you call 911 for when you are in need of help. Asd the intercession, for them, of the Archangels, of St. Therese, and of the Guardian Angels, for their own protection and for their ability and vocation (small “v”) to protect

And please, in your charity, pray especially for MN State Trooper, Officer Ted Foss, who was killed in a traffic stop. He was the husband of a friend and professional reference and the reason we, by law if not by common sense,  pull into the opposite lane in MN if we see a squad car responding to an incident on the side of the road, be it traffic stop or accident or mere assistance to someone in need of help.

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;

and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host -

by the Divine Power of God -

cast into hell, satan and all the evil spirits,

who roam throughout the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen

Calling all Mothers..and those who Aren't.

Recently after Mass, I was chatting with some friends of mine who happen to be parents of a few children, who naturally exhibit their childishness in very dramatic ways characteristic of their littleness.

There was a woman nearby who was somehow engaged by one of the children, exclaimed over them, and then, from where she stood, was clearly speaking to the parents of the children, admonishing them with great joy to "Have more!"

Certainly I agree with the sentiment, especially given our culture, wherein the default condition is to kill the child and lament later,  but I have to admit, a directive to "Have more!" actually rubs me in much the same way as the admonishment to "Stop having kids!" does from the polar opposite side of that spectrum.  Truth be told, I was a little offended on behalf of my friends who ARE having children and don't find it necessary to consult anyone other than God as to how many they should produce.

So I chose to just ignore the woman who clearly wasn't speaking to me, anyway, considering that I don't HAVE any children and I'm just the local spinster-in-waiting who happens to have a lot of friends with big families.

Oh, but wait....

As I was standing next to the father, I didn't initially realize that the woman in question was actually speaking to ME, and so I didn't understand why she continued speaking as the mother stepped away either in order to chase one of them down or to speak to someone else. In any case, I suddenly became aware that Ms. Admonishment was looking at ME and telling me to "Have Faith!" from what I could ascertain (from what I could hear), and to "Trust in God and His timing!" and all that.

I seriously could not figure out why she was looking at ME while saying all these things, considering that I clearly was not a mother, nor married, nor a parent of any kind. I couldn't figure out why she was continuing to lecture even as the father of the children wandered away looking for one of them.

It was the ongoing lecturing that got my attention as she raised her fist in the air in some form of encouragement to have more children and trust in God and have faith.  I was trying to figure out exactly WHO she was talking to considering that the children who had enamored her were all over the place, their parents were chasing them, and I was standing in one place just waiting for it all to come back to center again.

After a minute or so of me looking at her strangely, wondering if she was somehow trying to communicate with someone, I finally realized that she thought I was the mother and she was TRYING to talk to ME!

Oh, dear, and, well...Uh...um....NO.

While I thought it flattering that she assumed the adorable children at hand were MINE, when I finally realized she was directing her commentary towards me, and, in response to my very strange looks in her direction, was interpreting said confused countenance as a return expression of hopelessness and denial, I realized I had to set the record straight.

I sincerely had no idea what she had been saying before that but for those few quoted phrases, for she was standing too far away, speaking in a low tone, and since I wasn't the mother, I honestly hadn't paid much attention to her since obviously she could NOT have been speaking to me.

As it was, I did finally explain to her that I was just PRESENT in that particular space and had NOTHING to do with the presence of the children themselves. It was my great honor to point out their true parents.

This woman apparently was on a "CHILDREN!" kick, though, and apologized for her mistake as she patted me on the shoulder and repeated some of her previous litany of  "God is faithful!" and "Trust in Him!" but to this she added, "Maybe soon!"

"Um...NO. I don't think so."

She interrupted to encourage me further in what she assumed to be my future Vocation, that being to get married and have as many children as she deemed appropriate.

I thanked her but said calmly that no, I am not called to marriage.

She seemed to be completely SHOCKED by that statement. I actually reached out to hold her up because I thought she was going to fall over.

Quickly, though, she recovered herself and I held my breath, waiting for her to switch to the other extreme of exclaiming over the idea that I'm going to be a nun, and how wonderful is THAT!?

Thankfully, she made no further assumptions, apologized profusely (which was totally unnecessary given our low-key exchange) and in fact, I patted her own shoulder as I dismissed her apology as unnecessary. I was actually quite amused, and even flattered that she thought such beautiful children could have come from me.  It was very sweet.  :-)

I am who I am, though.

Simply put, I am a woman trying to find my way in the world, neither chosen nor having been chosen, only in waiting, in preparation, knowing there is more....but not knowing what that means yet.

It is a grace simply to know what it ISN'T.

We all have a calling. While I love children and of course, the ones in question are very dear to me, as are their parents, that love doesn't change the sense of knowing it isn't my Vocation.

Whether male or female, those who are not called to marriage often have assumptions made about them. On the extreme end, many assume that we hate children, hate families, etc.  Nothing could be further from the truth!

I have to admit, though, that before the recent exchange, I hadn't ever considered how certain people, in wanting to encourage life, really come across to mothers as, in their zealous love for the pro-life cause, almost DEMAND more children in exactly the same way the culture of death people try to DEMEAN the idea of more children as abhorrent and detrimental to society.

It has given me even MORE respect for larger families, and perhaps any mother, for the demand made upon them comes from all sides. Not just from the pro-death side that thinks children should be omitted in any way possible, but from those who are over-zealous and also forget that children come from God and that parents who are happily having children don't actually need pressure to have more. Aren't they already doing everything right?

Isn't GOD really in charge of life?

I have to admit I had a mad desire to compliment the woman on her interest in my reproductive system, but managed, for once. to hold my tongue. Of course she meant well, and of course she was paying me a compliment in what she thought was my motherhood...which it wasn't.

This very short, innocent exchange, though, revealed a few things to me that maybe I hadn't previously understood:

1. Firstly, that people often cross the line in their interest in very personal matters that belong only to a married couple and God.  Seriously...to tell people to have MORE children or LESS belongs to the same category of rude presumption. One never knows what people are suffering or have suffered.

(Lest someone come along and suggest otherwise, I am not speaking here of dissent against Catholic teaching on contraception and the horror of abortion. I am speaking here of someone personally ordering another person to stop having children or to start having more when that couple is clearly living in such a way as to seek God's will in their marriage, and happen to be blessed with a few children!)

 2. Secondly, that single women are STILL looked upon merely as future heifers and the very statement that we are not called to marriage is sufficient to cause a heart attack, or at the very least, a syncopal episode.

3.  Even those who are zealous for married life and children don't actually consider religious life to be the obvious alternative (WHEW! I'm SO glad I wasn't going to be the cause of TWO syncopal episodes in 30 seconds!)

4. Some people don't know how to handle the fact that you might actually KNOW you are ore AREN'T called to something, and so the calm revelation that their pet project isn't in your discernment process is sufficient to stop the spiritual assault.
*
Now, lest some of my commenters get huffy and think I am not being charitable, realize that I DO think the best of this dear lady who clearly was very interested in the number of children she assumed my reproductive system could handle. I further recognize her concern with regard to wanting to encourage me in finding my alleged future husband, even though he does not exist. These are laudable things. They are false, but the intent is laudable. I was not offended and she was not offended. Therefore, none of you should be offended, either.

I do find it humorous even as I see the serious points, and realize that we have a LOT of work to do to educate even the best Catholics about the reality of Vocation.

Yes, I continue to seek mine. I know I am not called to marriage. That isn't a bad thing, as some want to assume. It doesn't mean I'm about to don a habit. It doesn't mean anything right now. It means only that I am seeking God's Will, His timing, and coming to know myself through knowing Him.

And dammit, it's a painful process, at least for some of us.

I'm seeing more and more, though, that it's hard even after the reality is discerned...because those who are married and do all they are supposed to are STILL subjected to random public opinion.

You know...the Church would be GREAT and we could all be so Holy...if it weren't for all the people around us......(1 Corinthians 12: 7-10) 

...Just making an observation..... ;-)

Define Irony

A car is parked out in the lot in a torrential downpour, all the windows opened. The interior is completely soaked.

There is an umbrella folded up neatly on the front seat

Independence

This evening I was watching a movie about a young woman with a protective father, and how her feminism, by the end of the movie was softened, granting her not less, but more independence. This one tempered by a greater wisdom, one gained through a greater understanding of love.

Suddenly I was struck as I considered my own history. How I had to be "independent", and therefore, a "feminist" long before it was time. How my own ventures in adulthood through a few careers were, in a sense, seeking what I lacked. Not only was I seeking God, but I was trying to become what I didn't have.

I don't really know how to say this, and yet, it's so true, that perhaps all I can do is be blunt.

It has to be said. Please bear with me as I try to find the words.

The Psalms Speak God's Heart

When I pray the words of the psalms in the Liturgy of the Hours speaking of the "precious daughter", almost always, I tear up, at least a little. If not that, then I at least pay closer attention to what is being said. Trying to find the meaning, to understand it, and even to identify with it.

When I consider great Biblical women, cherished by their fathers, and Mary, held so close to her own family and then given into St. Joseph's protection, well, I can't really understand that from a personal perspective. I have a "romantic" sense of it, knowing it was real, but it seems like a fairy-tale to me. It's never been my experience, so even praying these psalms is a scary act of trust.

Never in my life have I EVER felt "protected". I've never dwelt in the security that comes from knowing there is someone to defend me.

I've never been defended.

In The Princess Bride, the Dread Pirate Roberts quips to Inigo, "You have an overdeveloped sense of vengeance."

I'm not interested in vengeance. I've no need.

I have an overdeveloped sense of defense.

Everything I've done as an adult is about...defense. Defending the less fortunate. Defending the law and seeking justice. Defending the powerless. Defending those whose lives have been in danger. Defending the Church, defending our Faith. Defending myself from those very same threats.

It's as though, at some point in my teenage years I went into full survival mode and I've never found the occasion to come out of it.

Even now, living alone as a single woman, I'm very conscious of my safety. I chose a German Shepherd partially for defense, partially because I've always loved Shepherds. I still have my guns and consider my training. I'm still willing to shoot first and ask questions later if someone breaks into my home.

If there is no one to defend my honor, even honor that has already been lost, then I will do it myself. I have no choice. There is no one else.

If I called for help, all I would hear is crickets, if even those.

But I weary of this state of vigilance. For once, I want to be able to relax and know that someone else cares, someone else is there to defend me, and...dare I say it? I want to finally know that I am that cherished daughter worthy of defense.

Perhaps this has been so much of my struggle in my discernment. Even as God invites and says, "All that I have is yours" I have a hard time believing it.

Even as He welcomes me home from the battlefield, I flee from His care, not trusting, never having been given a reason to trust.

God throws open the doors, He kills the fattened calf, He holds out jeweled rainments, and still I stand ready to flee, not believing any of this could be for me. I don't want to be a daughter for a day. I want to be a daughter for life. I want to be that cherished daughter.

And yet I fear that if I step through that door, I'll find that it was never what I wanted or who I was meant to be. I fear that I'm sentenced to a life on this battlefied without backup, skulking in the shadows so as not to be noticed, staving off the attacks because there is no one else to do it for me.

Can I ever let go of my vigilance? Can I ever stop being on the defensive?

Can I ever really, truly believe...and live...the reality that abandonment to God is where I'll find true freedom and protection?

Can I ever really believe those words Our Lord whispers in the silence and through the psalms, that they aren't speaking to history, but through it...to me?

*

Define Irony

Life is interesting, isn't it?

Yesterday at work I made a comment to someone about something being a "Federal Offense". Of course, it was in jest. The last time I used that term was at my last job with reference to mail fraud. Yesterday's comment was a joke.

I got home last night, got my mail, and what should be there but an official "UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT" envelope with a big red stamp saying, "JUROR MATERIALS ENCLOSED".

Yup. I'm being called to POSSIBLY serve on a petit jury in Federal Court between September 2008 and August 2009. Likely with regard to SOMEONE'S Federal Offense.

And...

Remember how I canceled my cable service (but for local channels) in order to pay for my gym membership?

Well.....

Last night I got home from work and turned on the TV to watch the news/ get the weather report. I could get the digital cable menu through the cable box, but no channels at all. And my analog TV doesn't have good reception so I can barely see only 1 channel, and that isn't very good. I figured it might be a temporary cable problem so just watched static until I was satisfied and turned it off, went to bed. Now, mind you, they came out as promised on Tuesday to downgrade my service. I did not need to be home for that as it was only an exterior thing.

This morning, I still couldn't get a cable signal so called the company. We tried the troubleshooting process, no effect, so they have to send someone out. This time I have to be home.

And the next couple work days are not flexible for me; I am chaperoning a ski trip tomorrow night, and Saturday morning I have to be at a workshop we are doing for sponsors. These things are not negotiable.

So....here's the irony: Remember I cancelled cable on behalf of the gym. NOW I have to cancel my Personal Trainer appointment on behalf of my cable!

WHAT!?

But...this really isn't such a bad thing, I suppose. I have gotten hit with some of the stuff that's going around - a cold, have been under the weather since Sunday, so I've only lifted weights once, didn't work out yesterday, and will only do cardio tonight on my way home.

So perhaps it's best to delay my Trainer appointment, anyway. And tomorrow's ski trip will be plenty of exercise as I haven't gone in awhile, so it won't kill me to not make it to the gym.

Such is life.

Too Much!

I'm exhausted, and it's only Wednesday...and I'm just getting started.

Tomorrow is going to include only a few hours at work .Because Friday is some training (good stuff involving Father Loya) through the Archdiocese, but then Friday night is a retreat I have to run, Saturday morning the 2nd session of the same retreat...and I STILL have parents calling to sign up for the sacramental program because they haven't bothered to be bothered with it prior to this.

A couple families have special circumstances, but they took the time to not call me in the last hours before the retreat so I could bring them up to speed.

And still...the stragglers keep coming, and I have orders to let them in. So be it. But I don't have time to give them the royal treatment everyone else got.

And Sunday I'm running the Confirmation program all by myself because the Youth Minister will be out of town.

Oh, and I'm only at the beginning of page 6 of my (really bad) Spirituality paper on Unanswered Prayer and Suffering, I haven't finished re-reading, highlighting, and tabbing Sacrosanctum Concilium for my Vatican II paper on what the "Spirit of Vatican II" really means as the actual text of the document states it (I chose SC over Lumen Gentium or Gaudium et Spes and a few others), and I still haven't finished my Old Testament stuff and yet have no idea what the "basket of summer fruit" in Amos means.

And I don't get another weekend before class since this weekend will be all work. Oh, and never mind errands and chores that have to be done.

And don't even get me started on Minnesota's unjust labor laws that are causing this; because it's illegal to bank hours in Minnesota, thus while this should be a 60-70 hour work week, instead it's cutting things short and then that means I still have to work 40 next week, as opposed to just balancing the hours out.

And no, my position isn't salaried. If it was, there would be justice.

There is no justice in this world. We have to die to get that.

Instead, I think I'll just go to sleep and hope I'm not this stressed out in the morning. And I hope I don't bite anyone's head off before, during, or after this weekend's retreat. After all...I quite literally won't be able to get to Confession.

In fact, I went this morning...and this weekend's retreat is all aobut this very sacrament.

Back to defining irony here...

* sigh *

Define Irony

It's a beautiful Saturday, and quite possibly one of the most perfect day of the entire calender year. It's a sunny autumn afternoon, with fluffy white clouds softly passing overhead. The temperature is in the mid-50's (F), the breeze is light, and the scent of leaves permeates the atmosphere. The best place to be is outside praising God for all of his beautiful colors.

I've been inside all day studying in preparation for an 8 page paper. The subject of today's reading: the comprehensive theology of suffering.