Free Falling

This is my first official day of being unemployed, and it is very strange. I can't believe that after this week, I'm not going back to my office. I can't believe that my money is now limited...and there's not yet anything in sight.

But I still don't regret my decision because I was so miserable, and I knew the consequences facing me had I stayed.

Today I recieved a phone call from one of my posted resumes. She didn't give me a lot of information at first, just wanted to discuss an opening in their "health care unit." I was not familiar with the company name, so I asked her what the position was? She hesitated for a moment, and then told me, "Collections."

I told her I was not interested because I was seeking to return to Social Services/Government, and away from anything to do with Insurance or Finance. And then I thanked her for her interest and for calling.

When I hung up the phone, I wondered if I'd done the wrong thing; after all, beggars can't be choosers...or can we?

But I've had friends who worked in Collections. They pay peanuts, the stress is ridiculous because if they don't make a certain quota, they get canned. One of my prior customers worked for a Collections agency, and was on a dialer, so literally chained to her desk and to her phone. I will not work under those circumstances; I'd sooner go back to what I was doing!

At this point, I still have a certain amount of hope, so I'm not willing to jump just because a recruiter for one of the worst jobs in the world is "impressed" by my resume.

I've known a few people who worked as telemarketers or in collections, and believe me, they are miserable. They hate their jobs, but they are desperate, and most are looking to go elsewhere. They don't take those jobs because it is their dream to tick people off; they take those jobs because at the time they accept it, they have no other choice.

So far, I still have choices, if not any options...yet. Today I planned to submit a cover letter to a particular Social Services/Mental Health position, but upon reading the job description again, I realized that the hours eliminate me; evenings and weekends.

Well, one weekend per month, I'm going to school. And I teach RCIA every Wednesday evening...and one Tuesday evening a month is dedicated to parish leadership.

So, all that time belongs to God; it is a committment I've given to God and thus to my parish, and I intend to continue to fulfill that committment. First seek the Kingdom of God...and He will cause the rest to fall into place.

Some might argue I'll have to give up my parish activities, but I truly feel that if I do this, I am not trusting God in action. This entire thing is in God's arena, it is in his hands, and I am just praying to be doing the right things.

I ask you all for your continued prayers; it is scary to be unemployed and know the money will run out, to have no health insurance, a mortgage, a car payment, and other various bills.

And I know I did the right thing because I left with many many references, but not a single one tried to talk me into staying, even a little longer. They knew it was time, as well.

So now I'm in this free-fall, terrified of the landing, but knowing, somewhere, God is still in charge.