The Word Can Speak for Himself: Stop Being So Dramatic!

Point 1: Lectors vs Readers

I am a huge proponent of using proper terms in the proper settings. The word "Lector" is one of them. Canonically (ie referring to Canon Law), there is no such thing as a "Lector" in our parishes, and no, Vatican II did not do away with this appointed position. The reality is this: only men can be appointed  Lectors, although the 1983 Code of Canon Law allows uninstalled men and women both to READ during the liturgy, and for both, it is a privilege. Still, only MEN can be appointed, and so I find it both insulting and irritating that we continue to call READERS "Lectors" as this misuse and overuse of terminology denigrates the Office of Lector itself, and leaves us to wonder if the Readers at Mass are in fact installed Lectors or are just filling the role because the Bishop refuses to install the proper men or because not enough have stepped up to the plate.

I suspect it's more a lack of education on the part of all lay people. I had to pay thousands of dollars and get a Master's degree to obtain this simple information that should be readily available and explained to the general populace of any given parish. It's not like Canon Law is a secret.

Lest someone protest, indeed, as a Minor Order it was suppressed, but the new Code did NOT suppress the installation of the position or the obligation upon those installed to serve in that capacity during the Liturgy. Ergo, if an installed Lector is in attendance at a given Mass, there should not be an uninstalled Reader performing the liturgical role.

Point II: Dramatic Readings of the Lectionary

It has become the fashion at my parish for the readings to be read dramatically, according to the whims of the canonically not-installed Readers, both male and female, although I cringe to admit the problem seems to have been introduced by a woman.Still...the virus seems to affect men, too.

Nearly every time I have attended Mass at my parish within the last year or so, I have had to look around to see if, in fact, I was present at a "Concert" given by an Elocutionist as portrayed in "Anne of Green Gables."

To be clear; I am not saying the readings should be proclaimed in a monotone! That is just as awful! Rather, I am merely suggesting that those doing the Readings for the Mass each week follow the description given in the GIRM, paragraph 56:

"The Liturgy if the Word is to be celebrated in such a way as to promote meditation, and so any sort of haste that hinders recollection must clearly be avoided."

Yes, indeed. However, pausing dramatically after every few words and over-emphasizing every third word a la melodrama does not meet the theological understanding of "meditation". It falls to "dramatic interpretation" and is TERRIBLY distracting!

So as not to be uncharitable, I quote the continuing context of the GIRM, paragraph 56:

"During the Liturgy of the Word, it is also appropriate to include brief periods of silence, accommodated to the gathered assembly, in which, at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, the word of God may be grasped by the heart and a response through prayer may be prepared. It may be appropriate to observe such periods of silence, for example, before the Liturgy of the Word itself begins, after the first and second reading, and lastly at the conclusion of the homily." 

This puts the first part in context. I suspect that the more dramatic Readers tend to read the first part of this paragraph (assuming they have actually read this very important document) and stop there, thinking that their idea of "meditation" and "silence" is the proper one. Therefore, we in the pews are afflicted by their own PERSONAL reading versus their reading of the Word for the rest of us, who are trying to meditate upon it.

Appreciation for a Role Carried out Appropriately

One of the things I most loved about my  various monastery and convent visits was this: they all understood meditative reading in accordance with the General Instruction of the Roman Missal. Not a single Sister got up and read according to her own interpretation. Certainly her voice rose and fell for general emphasis, but it was always carried out to foster our OWN meditation, so that we could allow the Holy Spirit to emphasize words and phrases...not the reader.

Every time a Dramatic Reader takes the pulpit in my parish, I consider fleeing. The first time it happened, the woman actually looked at the audience congregation and BEAMED at us as though we were supposed to applaud. And I suspect that were it not for the venue, we would have out of pure reflex. I seriously hadn't heard such vocal inflection since the melodramatic celebrity Elocutionist in Anne of Green Gables. I had to look down to see if I was wearing white gloves and a formal gown, wondering if perhaps Anne herself would get up to give us her rendition of "Our Lady of Shallot" or "The Highwayman" right there in the middle of the Liturgy.

Since that time, this behavior has become all the rage of our parish Lectors  Readers. When certain personages step up, I confess I inwardly groan and pick up the missal, realizing that I need to read it for myself and entirely tune the Reader out until she or he has completed their torture routine. If I don't pick up the book, I miss the reading entirely as the drama is just far too distracting to understand what God is trying to  say to me (other than to pray for my lack of patience and to pray for the person reading...yeah, I got THAT loud and clear. Anything else?)

I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not. We in the pews have a right to speak up, too, and it's not proper to throw tomatoes at Mass or cut the cords to the sound system. That kind of thing is generally frowned upon.  Unfortunately, it has become the culture in our parishes that those who speak up, even gently, are cranks, and no real criticism is tolerated, for fear it might hurt someone's feelings.

God forbid someone in a liturgical role is introduced to the GIRM and therefore has their feelings offended by official documentation.

The Readings at Mass are not meant to be read as though proclaimed in a theatre, but are meant to be proclaimed in a worshipful setting, open to be received by the people in the pews, all ranges of people. There is a place for drama, but the Word of God doesn't need any help from we lay people; He can stand alone just fine on His own if the Readers would only stand aside enough to let Him speak.

I long for the monastery, and the sober, truly meditative reading of the Word of God, in the Office, in the Lectionary, and pray that one day, our lay Readers will also cultivate an appreciation for this lost, yet simple, art of proclaiming the Word to the Faithful devoid of their own personal dramatic interpretation.

Responsible Preaching

My blog has been a bit quiet lately. I've written posts, and I've taken them down because I decided I didn't like them for some reason or another. Outside of that, I've not felt like writing, or I've just been too busy with stuff for class.

But I've also been spending a lot of time praying, as I always do especially when I'm stressed out. I am facing a while series of things...several events at work converging over the next couple weeks, class, a crazy schedule and my own "issues"

One of the upcoming events that has me worried is something a lot of those of us in Catholic education face at this time of year; a new crop of second grade Parents. That's right: The Sacramental Class.

Last year at this time I was excited at the opportunity to actually "teach", and indeed, I do feel drawn to adult education. I know a lot of non-practicing Catholics come back when it's time for their children to receive the Sacraments, so I was excited at teaching what I perceived (in theory) was a lot like the RCIA class I'd taught the year before.

Not so much. In every place where RCIA was open and curious and questioning,and joyful, well, the already-Catholic parents were closed, uninterested, hostile, and decidedly UNjoyful. It was a physically painful experience. And it got worse in the spring.

I wasn't ready for that. I had never experienced hostility in what was SUPPOSED to be a friendly environment, a room full of brothers and sisters in Christ who loved Jesus and wanted to bring their children to Him because they already loved Him so much.

There wasn't a whole heck of a lot of love in that room. Most of the privation of love was sent like a quiver of arrows in my very specific direction.

So, this year, I'm dreading the start. I have ideas, I'm changing some of the format, and I'm considering a different opener. Some of the things I can head off, for I now know the concerns and questions of the parents, and I learned last year what DIDN'T work, so I won't repeat some of those things.

But...the biggest issue last year was Catholic teaching. I was nearly crucified by vigilantes simply for repeating Catholic teaching. (Stations of the Cross took on a whole new and relevant meaning for me.)

As I struggle with my self-doubt and hesitation, trying to find my courage (since I'm no longer the innocent and naive newbie), I'm hoping it wasn't lost in last year's parish skirmishes. And I keep coming across readings and homilies, or even blog posts that discuss the necessity of speaking the Truth, for it is not men that we are sent to please; it is God.

Father Fox was only the most recent to direct me to this reality, and he stated it succinctly:

Scripture makes clear that pastors and those with a prophetic or teaching role will be held to answer for whether they warned people from a path leading them to danger and eternal damnation. How many souls may end up in hell because I chose not to confront or challenge? And how can God not hold me accountable for that?

While Father Fox was speaking in a specific context with regard to priests, his words convict me as well. For in my job, with my upcoming responsibility, I am in a formal teaching role. I will stand in front of a group of people, who may or may not be hostile to the words and intentions of Jesus Christ (even though they claim to be Catholic), and I will speak the Gospel Truth. I'll be doing this with the authority of my Pastor, who himself speaks with the authority of our Bishop, who speaks with the authority of the Pope...who is the Vicar of Christ and carries the Keys.

I can't stand up there and speak alone. I won't be up there to talk about what I think and give them some made-up listings of beliefs. It will be my job to stand up there and tell them what GOD has commanded, what JESUS has established, and, hopefully, what I'm trying hard to live up to every single day. Even though I often fail.

It's not my job to keep people happy and endear myself to them; it's my job to give them official Church teaching, under the very authority that has entrusted me with this message. And they may not be happy with what I have to say, especially if they're not living it out and would prefer not be reminded of that fact. But, as Fr. Fox so recently pointed out...if I don't provide what I am obligated to provide, I'll be held fully responsible. And BECAUSE I'm in this position, I have a GREATER DUTY to live up to not only the standard of truthful teaching, but righteous living.

So I've been turning over in my mind what I'd REALLY like to go up and preach, if I truly had the spine I WISH I had:

Thank you all, for coming tonight, and I am so glad to see you here! Many of you are now familiar to me, but I've not had the opportunity yet to meet others of you. Many of you attend Mass faithfullly and have called this parish and school home for years. Some of you are new to this parish, and some of you haven't darkened the door of a church since you were baptized or had your children baptized. Welcome back!

I'm going to be very up front with you, as last year perhaps I was not and this caused a certain amount of strife, for which I blame myself. So, this year, I'm going to begin with definitions: I am Catholic, and so are you. This is a Catholic church. Thus, you can expect to find Catholic teaching, and ONLY Catholic teaching here. Being that the Sacraments you want your children to receive have direct bearing on yours and their Eternal Salvation, I can assure you that the teachings you are about to receive are not going to be minced one bit. Should you decide, or if you've already decided that you don't like Catholic teaching, and you disagree with it, this is a wonderful opportunity to ask your questions, air your concerns, and begin your search for Truth.

If you are not interested in Truth but rather in living out your own preferences devoid of Truth, then why are you here? No one is forcing you to be Catholic. The Church is better with you as a part of it, but if your goal is to argue and disagree, slander, libel, and otherwise do direct damage to the Body of Christ, well, you know where the door is and you're free to leave.

You DO NOT have a right to proclaim your own gospel. Yes, you can call Father, you can call my Supervisor, and you can call the Bishop. Yes, if you don't like what I have to say, maybe you could get me fired. That's fine if you go that route. This job doesn't pay me enough to keep my house, anyway. But that will not change Church teaching, nor will I do so in order to satisfy your petty preferences. The Church has stood for over 2,000 years, and will stand long after you and I are gone.

So, to be very honest, this year I'm going to tick some of you off, and you're not going to like me simply because I'm teaching and confessing and professing what Jesus Christ HIMSELF has directed us to do and believe. The Church is here to save our souls, and for some reason, I'm supposed to be helping. I am NOT willing to stand up here and deny Our Lord just because the Truth might make you uncomfortable. It doesn't matter to me whether you like me or not; what I care about is whether or not I'm pleasing God. That's the standard by which we ALL need to live.

My promise to you is that I will provide authentic Catholic teaching. You have the right to disagree. You have the right to reject Jesus in any way that you choose. So did Judas.

Don't expect to come here and meet Judas if you and your children want to know Christ.

OK, no I won't really say that, exactly, but at the same time...it would be so much fun...because if I'm going to tick people off maybe it should be WORTH it!

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, one catches more flies with honey than with vinegar, so this year I'll be swallowing blood from my bitten tongue and pouring on the honey...but the message won't change. Just the delivery and some of the method.

But...if one we could have ONE day to say what we REALLY THINK....

Maybe I should go to Confession for just CONSIDERING this...

I truly hope you priests out there appreciate the agony your staff endures on behalf of your people!
*

Mothers!

I still remember the hot summer afternoon in Alexandria, Minnesota back in 1995. My Mom had called on a Saturday afternoon, and after an extremely frustrating conversation, the content of which I can't even remember, I hung up the phone and screamed, "Aaaaarrrrrgggh!"

My roommate looked up from whatever work she was doing at the time, and glancing at my expression of consternation, commented, "I don't know a SINGLE WOMAN who doesn't do THAT every time they talk to their mothers!"

It was nice to know I wasn't alone.

And I've found that...over time...it doesn't change.

But instead of screaming, I just sigh. I sit through conversations with my earthly mother while gazing at an image of our Blessed Mother and I take deep breaths and try to work on the virtue of patience.

And I know that so many of us have the SAME conversations with our mothers. I could probably talk to YOUR mother and the content would be the same.

First, Mom tells me that she's been to the Fair, and gives me the full menu of what she's eaten throughout the day, any interactions with various medications, and how the food, if it didn't interact with medications, how she did or didn't approve of it and why. And how many days she's going to suffer for having eaten it in the first place. (I will get this same info and the FULL report, probably on Tuesday this week.)

Then I get the run-down on how she overextended herself because she's only used to a 30-minute walk that the doctor says she has to take each day, but today it was 2 hours so she's got to write that in her journal and report it to him.

And then she discusses her difficult work schedule of 20 hours per week, which fluctuates by about an hour or so a couple of those days, and how HARD that is to go into work at 10 instead of 9, an get off at 2 instead of 1.

But that's not all!

In the past, Mom was contented, after her menu of the last few weeks (even though I'd already gotten the full review a few times), to give me a full report on her health with all the gorey details.

But now...Mom has a friend. So, after Mom's report, I get her friend's report, too. And all the details and Mom's diagnosis and full advice given to the woman. Along with her menu, too. Seriously..I got to hear alll about how the woman likes to eat radishes before she goes to Mass on Saturday, and how the radishes made her smell like onions during Mass (don't ask, you don't want to know), and Mom's "fraternal correction" of the incident. I also now know all about her friend's sleeping schedule, her Insomnia, and her addiction to caffeine and no-doz, and I think I have here a list of her medications in case of an emergency. Because God knows the medics would call the daughter of a neighbor if the woman in question had a medical emergency.

* sigh *

Nope, I don't scream anymore when I hang up the phone after talking to Mom. I just sigh and try to forget everything I've just heard, because I simply don't want to know that much about her neighbors. It just doesn't seem right. In fact, there's stuff I don't want to know about Mom's personal life, either, and I wish I didn't.

YOU know what I mean.

AND STOP LAUGHING! Even though it's true, it's not funny!

* sigh *

Why is it that when our parents get older, we find we need actual recovery times and even debriefing from the trauma of talking to them?

Please don't get me wrong. I love my mother. She is and always was an incredible woman, and may even be a living Saint. Like all mothers and daughters, we have had our difficulties, exacerbated by Mom's bipolar through my teenage years, and my having to be an adult at too young an age as a result. So there are struggles there that don't belong to a normal mother-daughter relationship. Yet there are moments that match EXACTLY what other women I know deal with, and tonight's conversation with Mom was just such a moment.

And as much as these conversations drive me crazy, I think a part of me will always cherish them, for I don't think Mom is long for this world. We nearly lost her last December, and I think it's just a matter of time. She looks old beyond her years, thanks to her illness, her resulting medical conditions...and the medications that have given her the ability to live on her own in a relatively normal, if isolated, life.

God bless her. If that woman can raise a child like me, well...she deserves better than me. She deserves Sainthood.

Please keep my Mom and our family in your prayers.
*

The Good, the Bad, and the Downright Ugly

I'm going to give the good news first:

* On the car: I got it back yesterday, the problem was the ignition switch, covered by warranty. When they took it on a test drive, they heard a rattle, and discovered that the bushings for the rear lower control arms were bad. Replaced them - warranty. Total bill, including rental, nearly $600.00. I paid: Not a cent. Because it was all warranty. (I think my extended warranty has now paid for itself.)

* On school: A very generous donor has given $1,000 to the students in the program with financial need/on loans, etc. So now all I owe is about $844.00 for the semester. Yay! (Um...I'm getting a loan for that amount, but it's better than $1,844!)

Now the Bad:

I hate January 3. Thirteen years ago today, my Dad passed away. So this particular date in history is already a difficult one for me. Please keep him in your prayers. I may write more later on this.


And the downright Ugly:


This afternoon, my DRE and I went out to grab lunch. Ironically, en route to find a restaurant, we were discussing insurance and policies and deductibles.

After we picked up our food, we went back to my car, I carefully backed up and proceeded very slowly towards the lot exit. I was literally creeping along because of all the ice and snow in the lot, and the fact it's a parking lot including cars and pedstrians. My years of insurance have taught me great caution in lots.

But those years of experience couldn't save me. There was sudden movement as I sidled along; a parked car became very suddenly active and SHOT backward, straight into me. There was nothing I could do...I was RIGHT THERE. There was no "forward" impact in the collision as I came to a stop immediately, and watched in amazement as the other car continued backing...right along the front of my car. The other car was going so quickly that he literally could not stop upon impact.

My first reaction (other than to hit the brake) was to shout out something I shouldn't have said, and immediately told my boss sitting next to me that I hadn't said that word.

Everyone was fine. I looked to be sure no one was immediately coming, got out and went around to check the damage. The other guy had parked his car and was walking towards me, apologizing, maybe introducing himself. I greeted him briefly, noting his first name and asked him if he had his insurance card? He did...it was in hand. I told him I'd get mine out, but was focusing on my car for the moment. The impact was to the right front bumper, scraping and "folding" the bumper in places. It's cracked and has a hole punched in it. The grill piece is also "folded". It appeared that the headlinght was not damaged.

We exchanged information cordially, and he apparently recently started a job as a claims adjuster. I told him I'd quit my job as a claims adjuster.

Parking lot accidents are the worst, liability-wise. While this guy will be majority at fault, I know that the liability decision will hold me a percentage at fault...just because it was a parking lot.

Believe me - I used to do this. Although even in lots, I occasionally made a decision that someone was 100%. And this would have been one of those cases. But I also know that common sense is not that common and that this guy's story may be drastically different than mine when he speaks to his company. I had a passenger who will verify my story, however, as a passenger she can't be considered to be an impartial witness.

I don't need this. Not the expense, not the time taken to deal with this stuff. None of it. And depending upon the percentage of my liability, I have to wonder how this is going to affect my rates. I WAS "accident free" and enjoyed a discount. Will that continue?

And I just GOT my car out of the shop!

I will say this...thank God this didn't happen in the rental car.

Although now I'll be in another rental while my car gets repaired.

* sigh *

I want to go home and go to sleep, pull the covers over my head until today is over.

UPDATE: I stopped to get an estimate tonight, and it's the shop I plan to use. I worked with them professionally in the past, and while they aren't my first choice, they ARE the most convenient and they do good work. Whenever I had to go there as an adjuster they bent over backwards and if I didn't know something, they didn't make me feel like an idiot. Well, there's no estimate. He took a look at the damaged area and agrees it needs a teardown. At this point, we're looking at Monday for a drop off, if the Ins. Company has agreed on liability. The other guy involved has the same company, which in some ways actually simplifies things, as it won't go to formal arbitration. I'm only worried about the ultimate liability decision.

And while the cost to repair will likely exceed what I owe for school, I am repairing my car; because while the temptation is great to take the money and run, ultimately I'd be taking a larger loss on trade in value. And as I'm still paying for my car, well...I don't want to drive a piece of junk. Small nicks are one thing. This is another.

Remind me to do a post about the automotive industry from a woman's perspective, from the "inside". Incorporating important insurance information.

Last Day of 2007

Well, today hasn't EXACTLY gone as planned.

Yesterday I had a feeling that I should not go to work today, and got permission not to show up.

No wonder I had that "feeling" that I should take the day off. Now everything has been revealed. At least, I hope this is "everything."

There is currently a rental car parked outside my house. You may be asking yourself, "Now, why does Adoro have a rental car? Where's her own car?"

Well, that's a funny story.

You see, today I had only a couple very important errands to run....only a couple. The bank, the vet to pick up some important stuff for my dog, and an oil change. Adn the grocery store and wine shop. If I'd had to work today, I still would have run these errands, and it would have caused me to come in later and a bit frazzled.. Or not at all, as it turns out.

You see, first I went to the bank, and when I left the bank, I realized I'd forgtten the Jiffy Lube coupon for a $10.00 oil change. So I returned home to pick up the coupon. Then I drove to Jiffy Lube...except that it wasn't there anymore.

So instead of doing the oil change first, I ran to the vet to pick up the stuff from the vet, planning to ask them if they knew of a Jiffy Lube near them. I forgot to ask, but found the info in a phone book in my car. I found the place and with great relief, drove my car in and went to the waiting room.

Well, they came in and asked me if there's a "trick" to starting my car. Uh....no. It just starts when I turn the key. That's how must cars work.

Then the other guy came in and explained that they believe my starter is out. No, they can't fix it because that particular operation requires a full service shop. I asked him if he knew if starters were covered by warranty (lots of people in the car biz do know about warranty coverage, through experience and their networking). He thought it was. They got my car started manually, and suggested I drive straight to the dealership to avoid being stranded.

I have roadside assistance, but who wants to be stranded on New Years' Eve, the day before a holiday when the whole world is closed?

* sigh *

So I drove to the dealership, and of course they ask me if I have an appointment. Uh, no. My car didn't send me a memo ahead of time to let me know she was planning to break down today. Otherwise I would have been sure to call ahead for her spa appointment for New Year's Eve.

Right.

Well, he checked my warranty and confirmed that IF it is the starter, it would be covered under warranty, which means my rental will also be covered. I did get my car started with no problem while at the dealer, but given it had died when in another shop and they COULDN'T start it, obviously something quirky is happening. It shouldn't be driven.

So I opted to leave the car there an pay for a rental out of pocket, hoping for the best. I didn't want that cost, but it would be a lot worse to not get my errands run (I still had to hit the grocery store and wine shop), and then get stranded in the middle of trying to complete them.

So the dealer called Enterprise for me, they came to pick me up. (As an aside...when my Mom cautioned me never to ride with strangers, she hadn't told me about car problems and rental companies.) Of course, as I used to work for an insurance company and was familiar with the process at the rental company, it was interesting going through it this time as a customer.

So, anyway, after I'd gotten the rental and was almost home, stuck behind an Uncle Ike - type of girl driver in a big boat of a car, I realized I'd forgotten my garage door opener. Turn around and return to the dealership? NOPE! I'm goin' home!

In fact, I had to make a stop at home before I finished my errands. Then I got to the store, and realized I had left my purse at home. I almost went into the store anyway, then realized that the $30.00 in cash that HAD been in my jacket pocket had been transferred to my purse earlier in the day. D'OH!

So I went back home, got my purse, confused the dog again, and left for the store. I ran around grabbing my couple items (most importantly - ricotta cheese for tomorro's menu of stuffed shells...mmmm). Then I got in line. It didn't look so bad. There was a couple in front of me with also only a few items, behind a woman who looked nearly done with a truckload of stuff. Then came the coupons, discussion about the coupons, court held over the coupons, verification of amounts on the product and the coupons, and whatever other problem ultra-frugal people invent as they go through checkout on especially-busy shopping days. The couple ahead of me and I waited patiently, realizing that this sucks for all of us.

Finally, I came home. * sigh *

Right now, I'm sitting down with a glass of wine and will continue hilighting John Paul II's encyclical on the dignity of women. I've been reading it while waiting all day long. And I need to remember dignity again...I'm not sure there's much left based on today's escapades.

Praise God I'm home, though, and not stranded in some odd place.

Stick a Fork in me...I'm Overdone.

I've been working on my paper for Spirituality quite literally ALL DAY LONG. I even took it with me to Adoration, because of 8 pages, I only have 3 1/2. And it's not well written. The connections are mush, and in some places, all I can put together are loose ideas.

Here's the topic: the Eucharist as the Source and Summit of our spirituality. This is not a doctrinal paper, but rather about how everything about Catholic spirituality is ordered to and flows from the Eucharist. It's an awesome topic, and seriously, volums have been written on this. But can I string a single coherent sentence together on it? Nope.

I know where I want to go with this paper. The first page is definitions, involves conversion, because conversion presupposes the sacraments. And then discussion on the sacraments and how they are ordered to the Eucharist. And I can't seem to get through this with quotes from our reading. (Please don't take this as a hint to throw theological tomes at me...I need to use the sources I have and the answers are THERE.) And then I will discuss the Eucharist and what it means for the Church, how it's linked to ongoing conversion and prayer, and of course, how it in fact sends us beyond the Church walls into mission territory as evangelists for Christ.

Sure. I can live it, I can summarize it...I cannot put it on paper. So for tonight, I'm giving up. And I may have to get an extension on this paper.

And my paper on God's mercy in the Old Testament? Well, I have the passages and ideas, and even a very rough outline, but I have not begun to type up the actual 6 page essay.

It's all due by Friday night. I'm in a very serious panic right now.

And so I called it quits and called my Mom. She sounds better, said she feels better, is eating solid food now (YAY!), and we had an actual conversation.

And then she said she's sorry she "wrecked Christmas again." Wha?!

I told her she did not wreck Christmas. She insists she always wrecks Christmas.

And I don't know how to get her to see that this is not her fault, she did not wreck anything, stuff happens and the timing isn't up to her.

* sigh *

I'm so glad this is the end of the semester and of the year. Oh, wait...it's Advent...that means it's just beginning! Just like my grad school career. I seriously have 2 1/2 years of this agony left? Really?

Someone tell me again why I'm working on a Master's degree....and tell me how to deal with a mother with a guilt complex no one gave her?