Bl. John Paul II on Dignity, Moral Conscience, and Redemption

The following is a paper I wrote back in 2007. The sources used are linked in hopes you will read them for yourself. This is not an exhaustive synthesis of the topic and is not meant to be so, but only placed  here in hopes you will take interest in one or more of the Encyclicals and other documents used.  Blessed John Paul II, pray for us! 

**     **     **

The theme of human dignity underscored and was continually interwoven among all of Blessed John Paul II’s writings, becoming the very foundation of his philosophy. With each letter or encyclical of his pontificate, he seemed to draw upon this and as an intimate part of the discussion, and linked this theme to the necessity of a developed moral conscience and how this is inherently necessary in the work of redemption.

Even prior to his pontificate, John Paul II saw a link in these themes, which he expressed in his poetry and theatrical writings. As George Weigel observed in Witness to Hope, “He was making an important point, ultimately theological in import…your lives, which seem like so many other lives, are in fact caught up in a great drama of sin and redemption. In that drama, human love will yield to the ‘pressure of reality’ and crumble unless it is completed and perfected in being conformed to a Love that is capable of fulfilling love’s longing for absolute fulfillment. The human drama ‘plays’, as it were, within the divine drama, a play of which God himself is both author and protagonist, creator and redeemer.” (Weigel, p. 117).

The definition of human dignity is somewhat complex. The foundation of the dignity of the human person first arises from the fact that he is the only of God’s creations to have been created entirely for Himself. Humanity is created in the very image and likeness of God and was given the great gift of free will; that being the ability to choose to accept or reject the love of God. It is within this power to choose the good that man finds his inherent dignity, and discovers his ability to transcend his own condition and will in favor of a true gift of self to God. However, it is within the dimension of love that this dignity is fully realized and understood. “Human nature, by the very fact that it was assumed, not absorbed, in Him, has been raised in us also to a dignity beyond compare.” (RH, 8). As humanity was created by love, for love, we find in John Paul II’s writings that it is impossible to comprehend the amazement of humanity without the consideration of the dimension of love and how it is actually love that is the very foundation of human dignity.

In the Garden of Eden, man’s dignity was lost through original sin; that being distrust of God and the willful and conscious rejection of His love. That is not to say that dignity was fully lost; rather, man’s understanding of the meaning of his life was lost and with that, the understanding of his inherent worth and dignity.

One of the defining elements of human dignity is human freedom. In Redemptor hominis , John Paul II declares, “…freedom…is the condition and basis for the human person’s true dignity.” (RH, 12). It is this very freedom, that when abused, undermines dignity for abuse of freedom is a rejection of God’s love and God’s will. John Paul II develops this theme throughout his texts and underscores the idea that sin is, at its foundation, a rupture in the relationship between God and man, which is why it offends man’s dignity. “As a rupture with God, sin is an act of disobedience by a creature who rejects, at least implicitly, the very one from whom he cam and who sustains him in life….Since by sinning man refuses to submit to God, his internal balance is also destroyed and it is precisely within himself that contradictions and conflicts arise.” (RP, 1). Sin has two elements, that being personal and social, and the social arises from the personal as it begins to impact the larger society. John Paul II discusses this at length in Redemptor hominis and how society itself, when it is not working within the boundaries established by God and guided by a moral conscience, ends up in conflict with human life and suppresses man’s realization of himself according to God’s will.

Dignity is inherently linked to moral conscience, for this is what separates man from all other created beings in that it allows him to recognize his sin and thus willingly choose to transcend his disobedience and cooperate with God in the restoration of the relationship that has been ruptured. “The conscience…is not an independent and exclusive capacity to decide what is good and what it evil. Rather there is profoundly imprinted upon it a principle of obedience vis-à-vis the objective norm which establishes and conditions the correspondence of its decisions with the commands and prohibitions which are at the basis of human behavior…” (DeV, 43).

Conscience is a divine gift within man, that voice of God, so to say, in a sense a recognition that if there is a Creator, there is an objective reference in order to determine good from evil.

John Paul II goes into great depth to explain how the Holy Spirit, the Advocate, who dwells within man, knows him to his depths and “convinces concerning sin”. He draws the connection to the judgment that has already taken place for the “father of lies”, giving a reference point to this final judgment, while pointing man to what is good and holy. “By becoming the ‘light of hearts’, that is the say the light of consciences, the Holy Spirit ‘convinces concerning sin,’ which is to say, he makes man realize his own evil and at the same time directs him toward what is good.” (DeV, 42). Through this intervention of the Holy Spirit, man learns to call good and evil by their proper names, and thus begins the moral tug of war as man must seek to overcome the evil that disrupts his relationship with God.

In both Redemptor hominis and Dominium et vivificantem, John Paul II discusses the words expressed by St. Paul, “We know that the law is spiritual; but I am carnal, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good.” (Rom 7:14-16). This constant interior struggle is understood against the entire history of man, with reference to his very origins and linked always to the Cross of Christ. For it is Jesus Christ who, through his sacrifice and perfect obedience who demonstrated the Truth as the living Word, proving the objective norm to which man constantly strives to emulate. This objective norm, lived out on the Cross, provides in full relief the objective evil, leading to conversion, within which man turns from evil and seeks to restore his relationship with God. It is a gift of divine grace, requiring the cooperation of man who, even when convinced of sin, has the freedom to continue to reject God’s love or accept it, and as in the story of the Prodigal Son, return his love in a spirit of humility and repentance. It is here that we see the link to the Cross and how conscience must be linked to redemption. “Christ, precisely as the crucified one, is the word that does not pass away, and he is the one who stands at the door and knocks at the heart of every man, without restricting his freedom, but instead seeking to draw from this very freedom love, which is not only an act of solidarity with the suffering Son of Man, but also a kind of ‘mercy’ shown by each one of us to the Son of the eternal Father.” (DIM, 87).

Mercy is, at its heart, a fundamental concept with regard to moral conscience, redemption, and human dignity. Because it was a severing of the relationship with God at the core of the fall from grace, John Paul II demonstrates that it is mercy that acts to restore that relationship and thus, dignity. It can be further noted that the foundation of mercy is love, for love is the dimension that manifests mercy. In Dives en miseriacordia, this theme is developed in great detail through an exploration of the story of the Prodigal Son. We see how the father, in faithfulness to himself, is focused not on how the son had offended him and squandered his inheritance, but how his son could be restored to him. He was, “…totally concentrated upon the humanity of his lost son, upon his dignity.” (DIM, 57). It was the moral conscience of the Prodigal Son that made him aware of his sin, his offense against his father, and the rupture in their relationship, and as he returned to the father, he appealed to his mercy, somewhat defined as, “…a special power of love, which prevails over the sin and infidelity…” (DIM, 27).

John Paul II further addresses that this concept of mercy may seem to some to be damaging to dignity, however it is quite the contrary for, it is mercy that is the link from moral conscience to redemption. As we become convinced of our sin and aware of the harm caused through our own free will choices, we have the opportunity to approach the Father once again and appeal to His love for us. Just as the father of the prodigal son is faithful to himself, so is God faithful to himself, ready to restore the dignity of his creation. “This love is able to reach down to every prodigal son, to every human misery, and above all to every form of moral misery, to sin. When this happens, the person who is the object of mercy does not feel humiliated, but rather found again and ‘restored to value’” (DIM, 59).

It is through mercy that we meet the concept of redemption, which is “overcoming evil” (TMA, 7), the ultimate restoration of the dignity of man. The redemption that took place on the Cross redeemed us in an act of supreme justice, in expiation for our sins, for as St. Paul stated so simply, Jesus was “made to be sin, who knew now sin.” (2 Cor: 5:21). John Paul II explains that our redemption does not arise only out of the actions of Jesus Christ, but requires us also to cooperate with God, which itself is the definition of conversion. Just as it was free will that caused the fall from grace, so it is also free will that, choosing consciously to cooperate with God, restores our dignity. None of this can be understood apart from the mystery of the redemption, for it Jesus’ death and resurrection, “by the revelation of the mystery of the Father and His love, fully reveals man to man himself and makes his supreme calling clear.” (GS, 22). Jesus reveals through love the objective good, revealing our true dignity and calling to holiness in eternal union with the Father. We see, finally, following John Paul II’s thought process, that human dignity is lost through abuse of our freedom, restored through correct understanding of our freedom (moral conscience), and that it cannot be understood without reference to the sacrifice of love through Jesus Christ in the mystery of our Redemption.

***       ***       ***

Notes:  


Initials followed by a number correspond to the title of a document and the paragraph referenced. 
RH, 12, for example, is Redemptor hominis, paragraph 12. I did not link to scriptural passages or references. 


DIM:  Dives in miseriacordia, Rich in Mercy (Encyclical)
DeV:  Dominum et vivicantem, On the Holy Spirit in the Life of the Church (Encyclical)
GS:  Gaudium et Spes, Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, (Vatican II Document, Pastoral Constitution)
RH:  Redemptor Hominis, the Redeemer of Man (Encyclical)
RP:  Reconciliatio et paenitentia: On Reconciliation and Penance (Apostolic Exhortation)
TIM: Tertio millennio adveniente: As the Third Millennium Draws Near (Apostolic Letter)

The Distinction between "Ministry" and "Apostolate" and Why it Matters

Question: On the importance of the distinction between the terms “ministry” and “apostolate”

Objection 1: It would seem that the term “apostolate” would apply to the successors of the apostles and the term “ministry” has a more universal application and understanding.

Objection 2: One who engages in ministry should be termed “minister”.

Objection 3: It seems the distinction is unnecessary because many who minister are in an apostolate and vice versa. To wit; it is unnecessary because the terms are not mutually exclusive nor are they necessarily mutually inclusive.

On the Contrary, it is important to draw the distinction in terms, for, as many theologians have noted, a lack of distinction in terms has led to larger consequences as it applies to doctrines taught by the Church with regard to ministry. In 1994 John Paul II stated, “It must be admitted that the language becomes doubtful, confused and hence not helpful for expression the doctrine of the faith whenever the difference ‘of essence and not merely of degree’ between the baptismal priesthood and the ordained priesthood is in any way obscured." (LG, 10) He also stated in the same document, “We cannot increase the communion and unity of the church by ‘clericalizing’ the lay faithful or by ‘laicizing’ priests.” (1)


I answer that although the definitions of the two terms, “Apostolate” and “Ministry” have not been formally defined to complete satisfaction, in a review of several official Church documents it becomes clear that the words do have specific applications. We can note especially that the Vatican II documents (see especially Apostolicam Actuositatem, Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity) exclusively used the term “Apostolate” to apply to the work of the laity in carrying out the mission of the Church in the world. The word “minister” and “ministry”, in fact, has both historically and, as emphasized in Vatican II only applied to those who have received Holy Orders.

Reply to Objection 1: It would seem that the term “Apostolate” has a wider application. “Every activity of the Mystical Body with this in view goes by the name of “apostolate”; the Church exercises it through all its members, though in various ways.” (2) However, throughout history, the term “ministry” has been restricted to apply only to the activities that flow from Holy Orders in the sacred actions of word and sacrament. Vatican II, as well was very specific in its use of “ministry” as applicable to the work of the Ordained Ministers, and the term “Apostolate” to the work of the laity, especially as it applies in the world. Apostilicam Actuositatem emphasized especially the right and duty of the Catholic faithful to carry out apostolic activity in the Church’s work of sanctifying the world. “From the fact of their union with Christ the head flows the laymen’s right and duty to be apostles. Inserted as they are in the Mystical Body of Christ by baptism and strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation, it is by the Lord himself that they are assigned to the apostolate.” (3) It would seem, therefore, that the term “Ministry” applies properly to the Ministerial Priesthood which is granted specifically through Holy Orders, and the term “Apostolate” applies to the Lay Faithful which is granted and nourished by Baptism and Confirmation.

Reply to Objection 2: The use of the term “minister” has been reserved for the ministerial priesthood; that is, those who have received the Sacrament of Holy Orders and have taken on the character of the priesthood of Jesus Christ. The work of the priest, that is, his ministry, flows from that sacramental character to minister to the people of God in exercising the offices of Priest, Prophet, and King. The 1983 Code of Canon Law extended the privilege of admitting some of the laity to participate in certain liturgical or catechetical offices. This work of the laity in those offices, however, flows not from Holy Orders itself, but out of their own foundation in Baptism and Confirmation, and granted only through the commission of a Priest or a Bishop. Those of the laity who participate in the work of the Priest in the work that does not absolutely require Clergy, such as in liturgical positions (Cantor, Lector, Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion) have an extraordinary character; it is a privilege, not a right and it has limited scope.

In Christifideles laici, John Paul II discussed the fact that although the 1983 Code of Canon Law allowed for lay persons to exercise certain ministries normally belonging to clergy, “…the exercise of such tasks does not make the lay faithful pastors: in fact a person is not a minister simply in performing a task, but through sacramental ordination. Only the Sacrament of Orders gives the ordained minister a particular participation in the office of Christ…” (4)

It would be totally inappropriate for one who serves as a Lector, for example to refer to himself as a “Minister”. It is proper in that case, however, for him to understand that he participates in ministry. Likewise, the teaching office of the Church which flows through Holy Orders may be carried out, through commission, by the laity. In this case, it would be proper for the lay people who do the work of catechesis, that is, handing on the Faith, to recognize that their work is a ministry which is a participation in the ministry of the Priesthood. However, a catechist is not a minister; but rather, enjoys a participation in the ministry.

Reply to Objection 3: Certainly it can be observed that the Clergy participates also in Apostolate, and in some cases, the Lay Faithful are granted the privilege of participating in the Ministry of the Priesthood. However, this does not make the terms mutually exclusive or inclusive, which is why the distinction in terms is clearly necessary. Christifideles laici revealed that in the Synod Assembly, there was a critical judgment voiced regarding a too-indiscriminate use of the word “ministry”. This over-use caused “…the confusion and equating of the common priesthood and the ministerial priesthood, the lack of observance of ecclesiastical laws and norms…the tendency towards a ‘clericalization’ of the lay faithful and risk of creating…an ecclesial structure of parallel service to that founded on the Sacrament of Holy Orders.” (5) As stated above, in the replies to the first and second objections, the use of terms in Objection 3 are founded upon a lack of definition of terms and thus a misunderstanding of the character belonging to each term and inherent mission indicated by it. To properly distinguish “ministry” and “apostolate” is truly revelatory of the mission of the Church and the complimentary roles and charisms that belong to both clergy and laity from within their specific areas of responsibility. The Church cannot exist without the Lay Apostolate; nor can the Lay Apostolate exist without the Ministry of the Priesthood.

----------------


ENDNOTES:

1. Address of John Paul II, April 22, 1994
2. Apostolicam Actuositatem, 2
3. ibid, 3
4. Christifideles laici, 23
5. ibid.


Note:  This was a paper written for Pastoral Theology in May, 2010.

The Call of Christ: Set Apart for the Kingdom of God

THE CALL OF CHRIST: SET APART FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD

(copyright May, 2009)

Throughout the Gospel of Luke, one can note the theme of "The Call" of Jesus Christ, which by revelation culminates, ultimately, in the Cross, leading to the Resurrection. Those who were called and united with Jesus in a special way continued the mission He began in the book of Acts, where it is developed even further. We can see how those who are called to dedicate themselves to the work of salvation in a particular way are called also to sacrifice, and even suffer in order to fulfill their mission. Many are called to follow Christ, but not in the same way. Some are called to give up everything, even unto their lives, while others are called to live a different kind of sacrifice exactly where they will remain, making the Lord known and loved through everyday actions. In looking at these interwoven themes, it appears that Luke’s gospel lays the foundation of this Call, and Acts reveals how this Call, ultimately began to be fulfilled and remains so today.

We will first consider those passages that seem to reveal a special call to someone who has been set aside in some way for the Kingdom of God, followed by a discussion of the call belonging to those to whom Christ is revealed; to follow Him and proclaim Him in every facet of life. It begins in the first chapter of Luke, where the first clear call of God is delivered by the Angel Gabriel, telling Mary that the Holy Spirit shall overshadow her and she shall bear the Son of God. (Lk 1:35) She gave her fiat, and upon learning from the angel of her cousin Elizabeth’s own pregnancy, she rose to join her, pondering deep within her heart her own mysterious role. We can see through these passages that God’s call is one of sacrifice, for Mary took leave of her own home in order to serve in a new capacity, not yet fully understanding what was to come. There, when she greets Elizabeth, we meet, leaping within her womb, the one God has designated to be the prophet of the Son of God. (Lk 1:76)

 Already a pattern is developing, for the Lord makes His intentions known to those whom He calls, and those responsible for making sure that Call is fulfilled. 

Obviously, there are those designated by God alone, to be set apart for service to Him in His plan of salvation. While some of this idea of a designated role is present in the Levitical priesthood, it is through the birth and dedication of John the Baptist, uttered by his father Zechariah in verse seventy-six (Luke 1:76) that we understand God has called him to a particular mission in life.

There seems to be evidence from the text of Luke itself that men and women even before the time of Christ were called to serve God alone in a special capacity. Luke 2:27-35 reveals how the Holy Spirit inspired Simeon, who was “righteous and devout, looking for the consolation of Israel”. He prophesies the purpose of the infant Jesus, and the linked Vocation of Mary, making a clear declaration that with this great gift nestled in her arms, she would be called to suffer as well. Luke 2:36 brings in the prophetess, Anna, a widow who did not depart from the temple, but fasted and prayed every day, dedicating her life to the Lord. She, too, was a witness to Simeon’s prophecy and recognized immediately the Call to proclaim Him to all those looking for the redemption of Jerusalem.

Luke 3: 23 tells us that Jesus began his active ministry when he was thirty years old. Even as He sat in the temple proclaiming the Good News, healing the sick, those hearing were divided, and some sought to kill Him. This brings us to recognition of the theme of suffering, for Christ Himself could not live out his purpose in the world without suffering. In Luke 4:42, Jesus declares His mission, to preach the Good News (gospel), for, as he says, “he was sent for this purpose”. This is a clear declaration of being sent, set apart and designated for a particular cause; and in this case, it was the Son of God living out first in a perfect example what He would ask his followers to do as well.

In Luke 5, Jesus calls Simon, James, and John, but before He calls them, He asks them to make an act of faith. Jesus sees them washing their nets and gets into one of the boats, asking to be put out a little from the land, where He sits down and begins to teach. When He is finished, He directs Simon to put out his nets for a catch. Simon protests that they’d had no success all night, but “at your word I will let down the nets.” It is here that Jesus is revealed in a catch that so fills the boats that they nearly sink. Jesus’ Call to Simon and his partners, James and John, is simple: “Do not be afraid; henceforth you will be catching men.” As the text tells us they left everything to follow Him. Jesus gave the fishermen an abundance but as we can see, the Lord and his work was worthy of the sacrifice of material possessions.

In Luke 6:13-16, Jesus, after a night of prayer, chose from all of his disciples, twelve to be set apart in a special way, to accompany Him in His mission as Apostles. This is not a denigration of those disciples who were not set apart in this way, for indeed, as disciples they had their own mission to Christ. Yet we see that because Christ called only twelve, there was significance in their role and relationship to Him.

In Luke 9, Jesus called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, then sent them out to preach. Here we begin to see more of the related theme of sacrifice and suffering. Jesus directly addresses the necessity of suffering for the Kingdom of God in Luke 9:22: “The Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised.” Jesus immediately made this relevant to the role of the Apostles, that they might clearly understand the Call to which they were responding: “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake he will save it.” (Luke 9:23-24). Yet this call to suffer is not for the sake of suffering and sacrifice in and of themselves, but ultimately, for the Glory of God, for the Resurrection. To do as Christ wills, one must have nothing, but depend upon the will of God in all service, to follow Christ in an act of trust, and an act of faith. It is another way of casting out a net as they went on their mission “fishing for men.”

It is important to note another form of a call which arrives with the birth of Christ: the first to learn of His birth are the humble shepherds watching their flocks in the night. The angel appears to them to reveal the birth of the Savior, and they rise immediately to go to the side of Christ. After their visitation, they return to their regular lives, changed, praising and glorifying God. (Lk 1:8-20) It cannot be a mistake that the first to visit the side of Christ proleptically reveals the future birth of the Church from the side of Christ on the Cross; thus here we see a call belonging to all believers; those who come into contact with Christ always return and proclaim His Glory and make this a way of life even within any humble state.

In returning to Luke 6:13-16, we see that Jesus had disciples who were not part of the twelve set apart. What of these disciples? Were they not also called to follow Him? Luke 6:46-49 defines those who may call Him “Lord” as “Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them.” This points to those who may not be set apart, but clearly are called to follow Him, not just to listen, but to DO as He does. It seems that as the life of Christ progresses, from the very first moment, all who come into contact with Him realize that there is a change. A pattern is emerging, an unspoken call to all those who come into His presence must make a decision:  either to disregard Him OR to become His disciple, and of those, to give up everything in order to be free to give themselves fully to Him, even if it leads to the Cross!

These themes of a special Calling, related to sacrifice and suffering, continue in the book of Acts, for there, the foundation of the Call has been laid, and the work of Our Lord continues in the hands and voices of those He called to sacrifice for His people.

In Acts 1:24, the Apostles choose another to take the place of Judas, and in that process, they pray to know not whom they want to choose, but whom GOD has chosen to take the place in ministry and apostleship.

From the very beginning of this book, we can see immediately the theme of a revelation continuing; and that it is God who calls, God who chooses, and this choice is expressed through those to whom authority has been given. This is expressed again in Acts 6:3-6, as the Apostles choose from among the disciples “seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom” to be appointed to serve in a special capacity. They laid their hands on the seven in this act of ordination which clearly set these men apart from the others. The Navarre Bible Commentary on the Acts of the Apostles addresses this passage, stating, “A person can be elected or designated by the faithful; but power to carry out that ministry (which implies a calling from God) is something he must receive through ordination, which the Apostles confer.” (p.61) It is God Who gives the authority and the ability to live out the Call to which they have answered.

Stephen was one of these men ordained in Acts 6 as one of the seven priests, and as he spoke with the power of the Holy Spirit, we become witnesses to the other part of the Call of God; sacrifice. He preaches eloquently and as a result of speaking the Word of God, of preaching of the death and resurrection of Christ, he becomes the first martyr to follow in the bloody footsteps of Our Lord. The resulting persecution of Christians for their faith causes them to scatter, yet in their scattering they do not deny Christ, but continue to preach Him to all nations. Here, this dispersion and the resulting spread of Christianity reveals the link between those who are set apart to guide the faithful, and the actions of the faithful themselves, for they work together for the same end: to spread the Gospel to all nations.

Saul’s conversion, which we could say happened as a direct result of Stephen’s own prayer for him makes up a great portion of this theme; in Acts 9:4-6 Saul is knocked to the ground, blinded, and sent by God to Damascus where he is to be taken to Ananias. Ananias is hesitant, but the Lord explains, “Go, for he is a chosen instrument of mine, to carry my name before the Gentiles and kings and the sons of Israel; for I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” (Acts 9:15-16) In this passage, Saul is called, but in Acts 13:2-3, he and Barnabas are “set apart” and given the authority to preach, sent by the Holy Spirit on a mission from God. Yet we cannot ignore that once again, the theme of suffering for the sake of God’s kingdom was addressed from the very beginning. In Acts 26:16-18, Paul is speaking, reiterating how he received his Call from God to bear witness, and following passages reveal the necessity of suffering.

 Paul did not preach a barren bloodless gospel, nor did he or any of the Apostles live a barren cross without meaning.

In summary, we have traced the theme of God’s Call through Luke and Acts, what that meant, and see the clear indication of Authority granted by God and expressed through those whom He calls. It was a continuation, built through Luke, brought to fulfillment and example in the Cross of Christ, and, we see through Acts the full expression of the life of Christ in His ministers (the Holy Priesthood of Christ.)  We have considered even the role of women who have been Called and set apart to serve the Lord, dedicated specifically to the needs of the Church, and even this has roots in the Tradition of the women who had been dedicated to serve in the temple of Jerusalem.

 It is also important to address the other role of the disciples of Christ; those who were called to serve in their regular state of life, living the Gospel and spreading it within their own homes and cities, empowered through the instruction of those called to lead them and aid them in the sanctifying and fundamentally missionary life in Christ. The vast majority of Luke and Acts addresses this call, and it is one which must be followed; those who encounter Christ in any way are forced to make a decision, and it is the same one we must all answer:

 Will we follow Him, too, wherever He calls?

Author's Note:
The above is a paper (edited for blog use) which I wrote for my New Testament course on Luke-Acts, in which our professor told us to find a theme in our reading and follow it. At the time as I was in discernment, it was easy for me to pick out the early Church's concept of Vocation, and it seems that this week, being Vocations Awareness Week, is an appropriate time to post the article. I do not offer it as a professional publication, only an academic but scriptural exploration; one which could be expounded upon. It is my prayer that this exploration of the theme of Vocation in Luke-Acts is helpful to anyone who happens upon it.

Graduation

One week ago today, I graduated with my Master's degree.

I arrived at the Church thinking that it would be as anti-climactic as that day, 15 years ago, when I mounted the stage to accept my Bachelor of Arts degree. This was, of course different as our class was significantly smaller, "we'd" [meaning a few people on the graduation committee who worked their tails off, God bless them!]  had to plan the event "ourselves" (with guidance from the University), and, as I was to find out...the Mass and Ceremony were a LOT more intense than I'd expected. And a lot more solemn. 

We processed into the Church to the awesome tones of Gregorian Chant. The Schola Choir was beautiful, and, as the organist we'd hired did not show up for some unexplained reason, the purity of the voices rising in praise to God were unsullied, reminding us not just of the dignity of the occasion, but of the eternal holiness of the Mass.

"The Church Needs You!"

I couldn't stop looking at the Crucifix during the Bishop's homily, as he spoke of God's call to us all to serve His Church, his exhortation to serve with a deep love for sinners, and to go out to evangelize. "As one Apostle to another...."  I looked at the Bishop, startled. His homily sounded more like a COMMISSION than anything else, and of course that was no mistake. God had called us to study. We had responded, and now it was time to go out into the world, bringing to souls all that we had learned....and in so doing, bring them back Home.  "The Church needs you!" the Bishop reiterated again and again throughout his homily.

I knew it was no mistake, but all in God's timing, that we had attended our last class on the (transferred) Feast of the Ascension. That alone pointed to the great commission of Our Lord to the Apostles, to go forth and baptize all nations. It was no mistake, but all in God's Providence that we graduated on a First Saturday, a day traditionally set aside to especially honor the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and it was no mistake that we were there just before the close of the Year for Priests, in the Month of the Sacred Heart.  

There, well within the Heart of the Church, the Bishop emphasized our responsibility. Oddly enough, I was taken back to the day I was sworn in as a Police Officer. The weight of my Oath, the badge, the gun, and later, the vest, symbolized the weight of my responsibility for lives. As a Police Officer, if I screwed up, lives would be lost. I realized that what the Bishop was saying pointed to something far greater, something that called me to the foot of the Cross, to lay the burden there too heavy for me to carry:  as a theologian, if I screw up....souls will be lost. Not just lives, but....souls!

Interiorly, I shuddered, then clung to the bloodied wood upon which my Savior hung.  I still don't know exactly what He is calling me to do, but there is no doubt; if I have come this far, it is God's intent that I spend myself in union with Christ for the salvation of souls. 

Commencement

We processed out at the end of the Mass, and I couldn't help but notice all the flashbulbs going off as we passed. It was from that point on that I began to commence with the squirming. I don't like having my picture taken; I never have, but on that day, there was no way to escape it. I had to quite literally grin and bear it. 

We processed in, yet again, this time for the actual Commencement ceremony. The Commencement Address was given by one of our beloved professors, and he gave what we recognize as his final lecture ("No extra charge!" cracked the Program Director later on.), and while we knew it would go over the heads of many of the attendees, we understood it perfectly and appreciated all he had to say.  Our Class Speaker had something to say about (and therefore, to) each and every one of us about "...what we learned in our 75 half hour and 10 minute breaks over the last 3 years...", and I gotta say, he nailed each and every one of us, bringing many of us to tears.  (I actually managed to rein myself in...if I got going, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop!).  I admit that as I write this now, I'm tearing up a bit, thinking about all my fellow students and friends, all we have gone through since we have begun, both the greatest of tragedies and some incredible triumphs.

We received the blessing of the Bishop and processed out, this time with the flash-bulb popping ever closer to us, even as we exited the hall. We gathered in a group for a large group photo with the present Professors and the Bishop. I'm pretty sure all of us were squirming from all the attention. After all, we're bookworms, not celebrities!

As the photo session seemed to go on endlessly, still holding what was probably by that point a clay grin, through our smiling teeth some of us asked, "Are we done yet? Can we go now?"  And still the cameras continued to point in click. 

One of my classmates commented, "This must be what celebrities feel like!"

Someone else queried, "Are we celebrities?"

And yet another cracked, "Hey! They're paparazzi!  We have our own paparazzi!"   Which, of course, caused many of us to burst into laughter, turning our "Danceline smiles" into real ones once again.    

It was a little while before I finally made it into the Hall again to find my fans friends and family. We'd all been limited in the numbers of people we could invite, and suddenly I was grateful for that, for I quickly realized that I didn't have time to be "hostess" to them all. I'm not a socialite by nature, but realized I did have to find a way to greet all of my guests, even while saying goodbye to my classmates, some of whom I am quite certain I will never see again this side of the veil.

Finally, finally I had the opportunity to open the the leather-bound, gold-embossed degree the Bishop had handed me. I stared at it a moment, noting it was all in Latin.  "Oh my gosh, I have a Master's Degree and I can't even READ it!"

It's good to have a reminder to remain humble, that although we have learned a great deal, we've only scratched the surface. It is an invitation to be grateful, and yet, to go deeper, to continue seeking the Truth. 

Our Graduation was a bittersweet event, almost painful in its intensity. I do have a sense of accomplishment, though, of having completed something I set out to do, finally. I know it is a gateway to something, a simple stone on the path I am following to Calvary, and now my foot hovers in mid-air as I try to see the next step.

*                 *               *

It is Finished

Professors, into thy hands I commit my final papers. 

What I have written, I have written. 

Let the MTS be granted to me according to thy word.

NOW what?

Academic Panic

I am ending my academic career in the same way I began it:   in complete panic.

The first class I took as a part of this program meant the first academic papers I'd written in....well, too many years.  Although I'd had education in between my undergrad years and then, that education consisted of more hands-on or multiple-choice types of tests, versus writing papers, and so, I found I had to stretch my brain a bit and it was quite painful!

Quite literally, there were times that first semester that had me in tears of panic, thinking, "I can't do this anymore!"

The panic calmed, more or less, over the last few years, and now I am staring down my very last deadline, terrified I'll be unable to meet it.

I confess that I'm not even sure I've done my final paper for Pastoral Theology correctly. Given the topic and the short length of the paper, it's an exercise in being concise and utilizing key words and phrases to convey my point. I have a "system" in place, but is it what the professor is looking for? Am I making my point? Am I doing this correctly or have I overly-generalized and at risk of turning in a final paper that will be a greater embarrassment to my grad program than it even is to me?

I'm taking this afternoon off work so that I can come home, plop down at my desk, stare at my paper and probably regress to year one. I need to get this paper turned in TONIGHT.

The final fork awaits....can someone please deliver several boxes of kleenexes to my door so that I may utilize them this afternoon?

Thanks.

On the Importance of the Distinction Between Apostolate and Ministry

This is a paper I turned in last month for Pastoral theology. Our professor, a very good Thomist, gave us all a certain creative freedom in our response, and as I've written a couple Summa-inspired parodies, I thought perhaps I could use the skill in a more serious academic way as well. I just got the paper back with a very high grade and kudos from the professor (what a relief!). 


So, now, at least certain that for once I have written something without heresy, I present to you food for thought, and encourage you all to help restrict the term "ministry" to the proper venue.  Without further ado:
****

Question: On the importance of the distinction between the terms “ministry” and “apostolate”


Objection 1: It would seem that the term “apostolate” would apply to the successors of the apostles and the term “ministry” has a more universal application and understanding.
Objection 2: One who engages in ministry should be termed “minister”.
Objection 3: It seems the distinction is unnecessary because many who minister are in an apostolate and vice versa. To wit; it is unnecessary because the terms are not mutually exclusive nor are they necessarily mutually inclusive.


On the Contrary, it is important to draw the distinction in terms, for, as many theologians have noted, a lack of distinction in terms has led to larger consequences as it applies to doctrines taught by the Church with regard to ministry. In 1994 John Paul II stated, “It must be admitted that the language becomes doubtful, confused and hence not helpful for expression the doctrine of the faith whenever the difference ‘of essence and not merely of degree’ between the baptismal priesthood and the ordained priesthood is in any way obscured." (LG, 10) He also stated in the same document, “We cannot increase the communion and unity of the church by ‘clericalizing’ the lay faithful or by ‘laicizing’ priests.” (1)


I answer that although the definitions of the two terms, “Apostolate” and “Ministry” have not been formally defined to complete satisfaction, in a review of several official Church documents it becomes clear that the words do have specific applications. We can note especially that the Vatican II documents (see especially Apostolicam Actuositatem, Decree on the Apostolate of the Laity) exclusively used the term “Apostolate” to apply to the work of the laity in carrying out the mission of the Church in the world. The word “minister” and “ministry”, in fact, has both historically and, as emphasized in Vatican II only applied to those who have received Holy Orders.


Reply to Objection 1: It would seem that the term “Apostolate” has a wider application. “Every activity of the Mystical Body with this in view goes by the name of “apostolate”; the Church exercises it through all its members, though in various ways.” (2)   However, throughout history, the term “ministry” has been restricted to apply only to the activities that flow from Holy Orders in the sacred actions of word and sacrament. Vatican II, as well was very specific in its use of “ministry” as applicable to the work of the Ordained Ministers, and the term “Apostolate” to the work of the laity, especially as it applies in the world. Apostilicam Actuositatem emphasized especially the right and duty of the Catholic faithful to carry out apostolic activity in the Church’s work of sanctifying the world. “From the fact of their union with Christ the head flows the laymen’s right and duty to be apostles. Inserted as they are in the Mystical Body of Christ by baptism and strengthened by the power of the Holy Spirit in Confirmation, it is by the Lord himself that they are assigned to the apostolate.” (3) It would seem, therefore, that the term “Ministry” applies properly to the Ministerial Priesthood which is granted specifically through Holy Orders, and the term “Apostolate” applies to the Lay Faithful which is granted and nourished by Baptism and Confirmation.


Reply to Objection 2: The use of the term “minister” has been reserved for the ministerial priesthood; that is, those who have received the Sacrament of Holy Orders and have taken on the character of the priesthood of Jesus Christ. The work of the priest, that is, his ministry, flows from that sacramental character to minister to the people of God in exercising the offices of Priest, Prophet, and King. The 1983 Code of Canon Law extended the privilege of admitting some of the laity to participate in certain liturgical or catechetical offices. This work of the laity in those offices, however, flows not from Holy Orders itself, but out of their own foundation in Baptism and Confirmation, and granted only through the commission of a Priest or a Bishop. Those of the laity who participate in the work of the Priest in the work that does not absolutely require Clergy, such as in liturgical positions (Cantor, Lector, Extraordinary Ministers of Holy Communion) have an extraordinary character; it is a privilege, not a right and it has limited scope.

In Christifideles laici, John Paul II discussed the fact that although the 1983 Code of Canon Law allowed for lay persons to exercise certain ministries normally belonging to clergy, “…the exercise of such tasks does not make the lay faithful pastors: in fact a person is not a minister simply in performing a task, but through sacramental ordination. Only the Sacrament of Orders gives the ordained minister a particular participation in the office of Christ…” (4)

It would be totally inappropriate for one who serves as a Lector, for example to refer to himself as a “Minister”. It is proper in that case, however, for him to understand that he participates in ministry. Likewise, the teaching office of the Church which flows through Holy Orders may be carried out, through commission, by the laity. In this case, it would be proper for the lay people who do the work of catechesis, that is, handing on the Faith, to recognize that their work is a ministry which is a participation in the ministry of the Priesthood. However, a catechist is not a minister; but rather, enjoys a participation in the ministry.


Reply to Objection 3: Certainly it can be observed that the Clergy participates also in Apostolate, and in some cases, the Lay Faithful are granted the privilege of participating in the Ministry of the Priesthood. However, this does not make the terms mutually exclusive or inclusive, which is why the distinction in terms is clearly necessary. Christifideles laici revealed that in the Synod Assembly, there was a critical judgment voiced regarding a too-indiscriminate use of the word “ministry”. This over-use caused “…the confusion and equating of the common priesthood and the ministerial priesthood, the lack of observance of ecclesiastical laws and norms…the tendency towards a ‘clericalization’ of the lay faithful and risk of creating…an ecclesial structure of parallel service to that founded on the Sacrament of Holy Orders.” (5)    As stated above, in the replies to the first and second objections, the use of terms in Objection 3 are founded upon a lack of definition of terms and thus a misunderstanding of the character belonging to each term and inherent mission indicated by it. To properly distinguish “ministry” and “apostolate” is truly revelatory of the mission of the Church and the complimentary roles and charisms that belong to both clergy and laity from within their specific areas of responsibility. The Church cannot exist without the Lay Apostolate; nor can the Lay Apostolate exist without the Ministry of the Priesthood.

----------------
ENDNOTES:
1. Address of John Paul II, April 22, 1994
2. Apostolicam Actuositatem, 2
3. ibid, 3
4. Christifideles laici, 23
5. ibid.

Da Heretic is IN DA HOUSE!

Define Irony:

I begged and pleaded and prayed that one of our 2 class electives for my Master's program would be Christology. That beg/plea/prayer was answered and in this, our last semester, we are studying Christology. I love the class, I love our professor, and while sitting in the class itself, it all nearly seems clear! What is stated makes sense, what I write down makes sense, and I have come to appreciate the necessity of a philosophy degree when seriously studying theology (especially because I don't HAVE a philosophy background).

So I went to work on my first Christology paper...and managed to turn in heresy, albeit a really minor one that came down to a simple misuse of a term. Easily fixed.  That same month I turned in a heretical Social Ethics paper. Great. Good news:  I'm a material heretic who reasons just like Augustine. I think it's a compliment.

Last month I worked hard on Christology paper #2, finding that what was so "clear" in class was not so clear at home, and for the first time in 3 years I nearly called my professor to explain the ENTIRE CONCEPT to me. But no, I thought. I am nearing the end of my degree program and I NEED to be able to "reason" out these problems. I won't always have my professors. I KNOW the answer is in my text and  in the Summa....and other places. The question we had to answer is a doctrine of the Faith!

So I struggled and angsted and finally stuck a fork in the paper, turning it in with a caveat to my prof: "I have no idea what I'm talking about, but here it is anyway.  I'm sorry."

I got the paper back today....huge heresy. HUGE! Thankfully he pinpointed my exact area of confusion and told me what it was. And you know what?  IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE NOW!  Well...um...ahem.... *scratching head*...sorta... *cough*.

I've resolved that if anyone ever asks me about Person and Christ, I'll simply explain that Jesus is the 2nd Person of the Holy Trinity, He is fully human and fully divine, He is the Son of God, and if that is not sufficient, I'll point them towards a faithful Theologian who actually understands Person and Christ.

I'm so frustrated! I want to understand, and yet, I see how completely unequipped I am to grasp what is probably a simple concept for others.

I still got a good grade on the paper, probably because I made all the right arguments, but without the key that  could unlock them. The prof knows we struggle with this, he intended it to be a difficult paper, and it was. Not to torture us, but to help us learn how to put these difficult concepts together. I didn't get a good grade because of what I know, but, I think...because of the way I put together what I do know, even though it has fallen short.

My intent is to be faithful and to understand...and to know what I need to know to earn this degree. And of course..to become holy.

Therein is the lesson. I'll graduate with my Master's not with a course in Christology, but in gaining through Christology, an experience of humility. Of realizing the limits of my own understanding, that no matter what I have behind my name, now or EVER, I won't ever be able to grasp everything and I will NEVER, on this side of Heaven, be able to fully grasp the mystery of God Incarnate.

Over the last three years of studies, more and more I've learned that, well, the more I've learned, the more I recognize my deficit of knowledge.

It underscores the point of getting a "Masters" degree.  One who has this degree isn't an expert. Rather, it is the threshold to something more, an entry point only.

Anyone who graduates with a Master's degree and considers themselves an expert or a "Theologian" **, well...wasn't paying attention.

I'm happy, therefore for my chance to be a heretic; better now, when my thought processes can be corrected and my errors pinpointed, than later on where I might lead souls astray with no one to snap a muzzle on me. God knows that's what happened to Hans Kung, Charles Curran, and Notre Dame's Rev. McBrien, professional dissident.

They didn't start out to be unfaithful. Nor do I. But there, but for the grace of God, (and good, holy, faithful  professors), go I.

********

Author's Note/ Definition of terms:

** My understanding, based on what my professors have stated, is that, to be considered to be an authentic Theologian one must, at minimum, possess an STL or STD degree.  This EWTN article places it at a Master's level in some cases. In spite of what it says, I would NEVER call myself a "Theologian" I simply don't know enough to claim such an auspicious title, and honestly, don't know any MA's or MTS's that could really be considered to know enough to be a "Theologian". 

How to Study Social Ethics and Write a Paper

Some of you may remember last winter's treatise on How to Study Theology.

Well, I'm back with a lesson today on how to study Social Ethics and write a paper.

1.  Gather your study materials, turn off tv, radio, ipod, etc.  Make sure you have good lighting, working pens, hi lighters, and tabs to mark the pages.

2. If you haven't already, complete the reading to familiarize yourself with the subject material for your paper.

3. Get out your notebook and begin taking notes or making your outline regarding the subject. You may have to complete this portion before you can actually begin the paper as you will need to write an opening paragraph identifying what you will be covering and the conclusion you have drawn.

4. Make note of main points and any quotes you plan to use so that you can identify the source at that time without wasting time searching for it again.

5. Look up at the dog lying on the rug, and notice that she is shedding. Surmise that it must be very itchy and uncomfortable for her.

6. Find your favorite grooming tool and spend some time carefully working on removing the shedding hair and maybe even matts that you've neglected. Comfort the dog and apologize when you pull a bit too hard and she jumps.

7.  When one side is completed, ask if she wants a biscuit and provide said biscuit promptly so that she will know that grooming is a good experience, even if it is contrary to her actual lived experience.

8.  In the kitchen, notice the click of dog nails on the Pergo flooring. Realize that she needs to have her nails clipped. As you're already distracted, go ahead and get the nail clippers and the REALLY GOOD treats as it's not a favorite task for either of you.

9. When finished clipping, put the treats away and sweep the floor.

10. Take the dog outside to go potty.

11. As it's a nice day, go for a walk and ponder what you've learned in your studies. Mentally turn over the different points you intend to cover and consider slightly restructuring your paper.

12.  Return home, put the dog's leash away, return to your desk.

13. Realize that you are thirsty after your walk and that you need some water. Go to the kitchen for water, and give the dog fresh water, too.

14.  Return to your desk, glance at your totally illegible notes, grab your sources, and connect to the internet.

15.  Begin writing blog post about how to study Social Ethics.

If it's not one thing...then it's another.

No...wait.  It's not one thing and then another. It really is the same dang thing over and over again!

So it goes.

It's been a crazy few days. On Saturday I saw Bear off to his new home with his new family, content that they have the perfect place for him.  Yes, I miss him and will continue to miss him for awhile. But it was worth it, and I learned a few lessons in the process, too; things I've taken to prayer and continue to ponder.

I've been scrambling to get my papers written for class, and as of this moment....none of them are finished. I still need to edit and clean up a few things, but hopefully I can stick a fork in them tomorrow evening and email them off to my professors.  Three months left until graduation!

More Dog Stuff

And just when I thought everything was under control....well...let's just say it wasn't.

Last night when I took my dog out for a brief walk, the neighbor had his dog out as well, but off-leash. His dog ran over, he yelled to warn us, but I wasn't worried; the dogs had met before and seemed fine. Before he arrived to grab her, though, the other dog snarled and snapped, both dogs rose on their hind legs in some kind of skirmish, and we pulled them apart. My neighbor was very apologetic, I told him not worry and we continued on our walk. Truly, I wasn't a bit worried as I've been present in many little dog battles and saw nothing out of the ordinary here.

I returned home shortly thereafter, took my dog's pinch collar and leash off and she ran upstairs to engage in her favorite hobby of bunny-watching through the window.  Sometime later I called her downstairs and as she ran up to me, I saw that her left cheek was bloody!

At first I thought, "What did you DO to yourself up there?" and began to mentally catalogue any possible cause of this injury. Then it dawned on me....the dog skirmish!  Inspecting the injury I saw that it was indeed a puncture wound, which became even scarier-looking as I wiped the blood away.  She let me keep some pressure on it for awhile, and let me  take some Bactine to a cotton swab to disinfect it.

This morning when we got up I noted some swelling and decided to take her to the vet. It wasn't that it looked that awful, but in looking at my impossible schedule for the next few days, well, if this thing was going to get infected, this would be the worst possible time!  It was better, I thought, to head things off at the pass! Besides, she was due for her yearly shots and it made sense to just take care of business.

The vet clinic had an opening for me in about an hour, so I quickly got ready and also knocked on the neighbor's door to inform them of the dog bite. I told them not to worry, and wanted to make sure their dog was ok and hadn't been bitten by mine!  They verified all shots were in order and apologized profusely.

The vet decided that because it is a puncture wound it's best to give antibiotics - it is quite likely to get infected if not treated, given the location and type of injury. I agreed, so $200.00 later (including office visit and annual shots plus antibiotics) I went home.

The neighbors came out immediately to see how things had gone, I showed them the bite wound, they felt terrible and offered to pay for the visit.  I explained what I'd done and that the entire bill was not theirs, but did agree to accept the $40.00 for the antibiotic itself.  If the roles were reversed, I'd offer to pay for that, too.

So...what irony. I bring a traumatized dog into my home and all goes very well. Not a problem. I walk my dog in my own complex and she's injured by a neighbor's pet.  *shrug*   Whaddaya gonna do?

That's life. In any case it's worked out just fine, I have even more respect for my neighbors than I did before, and I'm grateful it has turned out this way. No, it's not fun to have to deal with dog bites, but it sure is nice that when the dogs decide to be dogs, both we owners can assess the situation with reason and resolve it!

I made sure they realized I'm not angry or upset, I still think their dog is sweet and I still consider them to be good neighbors! Probably even MORE so now!

It's been a tough Lent, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better, but thank God for the little things in life that make the tragedies bearable!

Well...the world belongs to God. I'm going to bed to hopefully get a good night's sleep so I can get up and do this all over again tomorrow (although hopefully not in exactly the same way....)

Say Something Nice About a Priest Meme

Cathy tagged me for this Meme, the purpose of which is very simple: say something nice about a Priest!

The only problem I have with this is that I am blessed to know several priests who have touched my life and have brought me closer to Christ. I have so many priests I'd like to thank, including those I consider to be good friends.

So where do I begin?

I've written before of the unknown priest who heard a very difficult Confession. I've written of the one who anointed my Mom a couple years ago when we thought we were losing her during our Deathwatch Advent.

Maybe the best thing to do is honor the priests I know through recognition of the unsung and very hidden things they do; the simple things that perhaps mean more than any of us can understand. And in this case, I have to honor three priests, for the trilogy of them did the very same things for me, and at the same time. Clearly, I'm such a difficult case that one was simply not enough for the task! Or was this perhaps just a reflection of the Trinity found in a triangulation of good priests?

You decide.

A few years ago several things were converging at the same time: I was called to teach RCIA, a very new experience, and I was applying to Graduate School. It was perhaps a 9-month period of time during which all of this occurred, and it was all related.

When I looked over the materials for the Catholic Studies program at the University of St. Thomas, I saw that they were looking for recommendations from professors, but would accept that of priests if we had been out of school for a long time. I immediately approached two priests at my parish; my Pastor and one of the Associates. In all honesty, I didn't think either of them knew me well enough to write a recommendation, but I told both that I would answer any questions they had and provide any information required even to make a decision!

My Pastor simply told me to provide him with the form and he would return it in the provided envelope. The Associate asked me to come into his office so he could get a little more of my background and intentions, including my desire to teach RCIA that year. Up to that point, I really hadn't done much for my parish so had a very short resume as it applied to the Church, except for my "ministry" in Jr. High and High School. As an adult...NUTHIN'! But in the end he accepted the recommendation form, feeling he could answer their questions honestly. I was grateful.

In the meantime I began teaching RCIA. Enter the other Associate, who, upon realizing how nervous I was about my first foray into formal catechesis of others asked if it would help to meet with him and talk over the lesson I was planning. I accepted his invitation gratefully and found there an ally and a friend. He gave me some good tips on teaching in general, and, although he couldn't attend the first big talk I gave, he came into the classroom at the end to heckle me and see how it had gone. In fact, he entered the room with the other Associate who also had known how nervous I was and also wanted to provide a little support.

Later that fall, after Thanksgiving, I found that I was accepted by St. Thomas as a "special student", meaning I I could not qualify for financial aid. Given the cost of classes at St. Thomas, I could not afford to go, and sadly informed my references of the good news...but that I had to delay. I was looking into all my options.

That's when, at a fledgling Theology on Tap evening, Fr. W., my biggest RCIA supporter, upon learning my news told me about Ave Maria University, recommended the program and said he had brochures in his office. He knew they were offering a class beginning in February and suggested I look into it. Another person there, an acquaintance of mine, told me more about it and that he was looking into it as well, although he was in the Catholic Studies program at St. Thomas already. We discussed the two programs, and I realized that Ave Maria was truly was I was looking for. Had Father W. not mentioned it...who knows where I would be?

I picked up the brochure the next day and solidified my intention: I took that one class, the Writings of John Paul II as a special student, but was able to pay for the tuition out of pocket. In the meantime I was conferring with my Pastor, who also knew of my financial problems with UST, supported my looking into Ave Maria, and was familiar my agony over whether to apply there or not. I found that I might qualify for a scholarship...so much to consider!

And in all this time, I was teaching RCIA, with my Pastor, the other Associate Fr. H. occasionally present either to hear my reflections on the upcoming readings or my catechesis on the topic for the evening, depending on what was assigned for that night. I found them always to be helpful, supportive, and given it was my first year teaching, found it significant that at no point did either of them ever stand up and with a pointing finger yell out "HERETIC!" Nor did they accuse me of such in private.

It was a great help to know I was not a heretic or teaching heresy!

(Although Fr. H., upon a discussion as to which one of us was going to give the teaching on Sin, suggested I do so because, as he said, "You were a much bigger sinner than I was." Thanks, Father!)

And yes, I gave the teaching, and yes, Father would have been better at it even though it's probably true that I was the bigger sinner!

Our Pastor, although not as prone to the same kind of humor, like Fr. H. was always available for my questions as I prepared for the classes or had my own to ask. Just as surely as I was trying to form the (sorry, but true) largely uncatechized Sponsors, Catechumens, and Candidates, the Fathers were forming me. All three of them. It was that big of a job.

That spring I decided to apply to Ave Maria University formally, to be accepted into the Institute for Pastoral Theology. Once again I went to my Pastor and Fr. H., the same two who had written on my behalf to the University of St. Thomas. And once again, they agreed to help. I felt guilty; I knew I was giving them more work, and already they were stretched so thin, and I had delayed in my decision, leaving a deadline closer than should be comfortable. Both, within a couple days, either returned the sealed envelopes or sent them on directly (I forget which), and as I checked the box on the form agreed that what they said would remain confidential, to this day I have NO IDEA what they said about me, either for UST or Ave Maria. And because I agreed to confidentiality in their responses about me, I have not asked any of them about the content of their letters.

All I know is that I was accepted to BOTH programs, and I didn't do it on my own merit, but also that of the Priests who supported me without question. None of them questioned why I wanted to pursue the degree or what I ultimately wanted to do with it. They understood that I was seeking holiness, had a thirst for knowledge, and even though, really, maybe they should have hesitated in offering a recommendation on my behalf not even knowing what kind of STUDENT I was, they stuck their own necks out for my good, probably hoping for the full good of the Church.

I hope and pray I can live up to their expectations.

When I sit in class, I remember the priests who helped me get there. That includes the one who didn't write a letter, but first told me about the program and gave me the brochure. I can't write about this process without including him...he was instrumental.

Three Priests. Three of them.

Two of those Priests, the same two that wrote me letters for grad school, also served as references for my current job in another parish. True to the Mission of the Church, they formed me and sent me on, beyond the walls of our own parish, entrusting me not only to their own pastoral care, but that of the grad school they helped me to enter, and sending me to carry on the work of Christ in another place.

I am not very active in my own parish right now because my work in another and my grad studies take me away. But it is home, even though those same Associates aren't there any more, having moved on themselves. I see them occasionally and owe one of them an email. Our Pastor is still there, and sometimes asks me how classes and my job are going.

You can see why I had to mention all three priests here, if not by name. You can see how they all worked together to help this poor soul get to where she is now: still a poor soul, but one now in her last year of grad school and considering more.

It is definitely a relationship of trust, for I knew I could go to them for help, and even though they MUST have seen me as a risk to their own reputations, they offered what they could on my behalf. I am a different person now, in many ways. I could not have entered this program without them, for I had nowhere else to go. They gave me experience and helped me to develop skills. They offered support for further education, and, like Jesus, considered that their risk was worth it.

I pray that, in the end, if, God willing, I finally earn this degree (graduation in June 2010!), my effort will justify their risk, and I pray that everything I do in the future helps them to earn merit for eternity.

Thank you, Fathers, first for laying down your own lives for us all, but more personally:

* For your example of Faith in Christ, every single day, constantly

* Your example of Him to me personally, in the Sacraments (esp of Confession!), and in meeting with me when I've had questions

* Your (seeming) unquestioning support and trust in my endeavors

and finally...

* Being a true Spiritual Father in something small and hidden but which, for this particular soul, means the world, and might mean Eternity.

Thank you, Fathers. God bless you. I pray for you every day: it's the least I can do.

Love,

Your Spiritual Daughter

~ Adoro

*

This is such a great Meme, and although maybe it would be proper to tag 33 in honor of the years of Christ on earth, maybe I should actually stick with the rules for once and tag only 3. So I tag:

Angela

Fr. Schnippel (Priests aren't formed in a vacuum....)

Uncle Jim

I encourage you all to remain obedient to the Meme, to honor "a Priest", but if you have to honor a few who worked together...I look forward to reading what you have to say! :-)

How to Study Theology

1. Sit down with the assigned subject matter. Get comfortable. Make sure you have your highlighter, a good pen or pencil, notebook, and a glass of water or coffee or other study-inducing beverage of choice. Begin reading, paying close attention to anything emphasized by the professor, by the author of the work, etc. Take notes relating to the paper you will have to write on the subject. Try to concentrate.

2. Realize that the 5 year old stain on the carpet is distracting you. Shift positions so that it will be out of your direct line of sight, and continue reading. (Suggestion: stack up books if you need to block your view.)

3. Realize that the stain is there, you know about it, and so you must do something about it because instead of studying theology you are meditating on the origin of the stain, the memory of how it got there, or the methods used in the past to cover it up.

4. Try to continue reading. Switch subjects if necessary, maybe to something more pleasant if you didn't start with your favorite. If you're working on essay questions, try another question that maybe seems easier to answer. Sometimes it's best to start out with the subject matter with which you are most familiar.

5. Discover that you are writing about carpet stains instead of original sin as it relates to the Immaculate Conception. Put the book down, go and study the stain. Glance up at the steam-cleaner in the corner, and go get the vacuum cleaner. The carpet has to be vacuumed before it can be steamed. Vacuum the entire room thoroughly. Notice that the stairs haven't been vacuumed in awhile and host large doghair dust bunnies. Eliminate them, step by step. Since you're upstairs, vacuum that floor, too. Return to the first level and get the steam cleaner, add the solution and hot water, and begin to go to work on the stain on the carpet. Notice that it's lighter now but might need more treatment. Get another solution and scrub at the spot, then return to the steam cleaner to finish the job. The carpet is now clean. Survey the rest of the room and see that there are other spots. Since you went to the trouble to put it all together, go to work and clean the other visible areas of carpet as well.

6. An hour and a half later, return to do your homework. Pick up the book and begin reading. Notice that the dog is begging to go out. It's a nice day for once. Put the book aside, get the leash and take the dog for a nice leisurely walk while planning how you're going to get your studying done upon your return and how to tackle the question you can't seem to grasp.

7. An hour later return home, give the dog some water and a biscuit, settle down to study. Make sure you're taking good notes! It helps with focus. Now you're starting to grasp something, especially given the metaphor of the stain in the carpet. Remember that you want to blog about it later as a practical example of applied theology in everyday life. Consider how that would look in a popular Catholic publication. Wonder if you should submit the article you haven't written yet. Look down at your paper and admire the doodles you've made while pondering your fame and fortune arising from cleaning a stain you should have cleaned years ago when it first happened.

8. While considering the virtue of magnanimity and the vice of sloth, remember the laundry waiting to be done and realize if you don't do it NOW you won't have anything to wear tomorrow. Put the book aside and go to the laundry room. Make sure everything is properly sorted so that you can actually get it all done today. Consider that if you take the time to do this now you can spend more time studying on the weekend instead of doing laundry. Rationalize that it's a trade off.

9. With a load of laundry going, return to your study area and continue working on your assignment. Reach for your glass of water and find that it's empty and you're really really thirsty, especially since walking the dog. Get up for water, decide to make a pot of coffee to help you in concentrating. While it percolates, return to your books. While reading about spirituality and mysticism and how it relates to virtue, ponder Mystic Monk coffee and the Monks who roasted it for you. Put on some Gregorian Chant. Get a cup of coffee. Sit down to study.

10. The washing machine is done, go up to put it in the dryer and add another load to the wash. While passing the bathroom, you see that it's filthy and that annoys you. Take out the garbage, return to clean the sink, tub, shower and toilet. Decide the floor can be mopped later when you're done studying for the day.

11. Return to your assignment. You have enough notes to type up into at least a draft, so go to the computer. You've been waiting for the professor to return your assignment from last month, so check email to see if he had any helpful criticism that could be applied to the current paper. He didn't send anything but you see an email from an old friend who had been meaning to email for awhile. Write back; in charity you don't want your friend to have to wait, and you really miss talking to her, so you make sure to respond to each of her questions/comments and ask your own to correspond to her enthusiasm which is, of course, mutual.

12. Close the web browser after reading and responding to five emails. Start typing your paper, being careful to add footnotes where required. It's very important; this professor is a stickler for proper citations, down to the last punctuation mark!

13. Look at the clock on the computer. It's time to start dinner. The dog is asking to go out and wants to be fed. There are more emails waiting to be answered. The mail is still waiting to be sorted, junk mail tossed away. Stand up to handle each of these things, intending to return to studying later.

14. Make dinner. Turn on the TV to catch the news, return a phone call. Grab your food when it's ready, push aside a couple books so you can sit down on the couch and watch the sitcom that came on after the news. This is a good one! Thoroughly enjoy your meal, intending to go back to your homework.

15. In the middle of your favorite primetime show, look around and notice that your theology notes and books are scattered all over the livingroom and the place is quite untidy. You look like a geek with all these books everywhere! But you're happy because the laundry is done and the carpet is clean. And you have a great idea for a blog post if only you weren't too exhausted to write any more tonight.

16. Turn off the tv, take the dog out, and go to bed. Bring one of your theology tomes up with you thinking that it might help you fall asleep and maybe dream of the subject matter: one way to internalize it! Lie down on your bed, decide to pick up Anne of Green Gables to read your favorite part, put it aside, turn off the light and go to sleep.

17. Dream about Hamlet's MacBeth "Out! Out damned spot!"

18. Wake up wondering why you were dreaming about Shakespeare and why the Bard was washing bird poop off of your car.

19. Sleepily make coffee and realize you never cleaned the coffee pot out. Make instant coffee so you can get a quick fix, and en route to the livingroom to turn on the morning news, trip over your Canon Law book and spill coffee all over the floor. Return to the kitchen sipping what's left, grab some paper towels and try to soak up the coffee. Realize that it will stain. Shrug. The carpet is old and has seen better days. Return to the kitchen to make real coffee since the act of wiping up the spill woke you up a little. Take your fresh coffee into the livingroom, sit down on the couch and regard your unfinished notes from Moral Theology.

20. Set the coffee down, pick up your book and start reading and highlighting various sections. Then realize that you can see the stain the coffee made on the floor and it's distracting you.....

***

Liturgy and Longing for God

I'm going to start with the easy thing: longing for God.

In Moral Theology this weekend, much stood out to me and perhaps it will become fodder for future posts, but there are a couple things that are short and to the point:

There are two ways of contemplating God, and perhaps I'll write more of this later, too. However, suffice to say that we can only contemplate Him "naturally" up to a certain point. Because it does not belong to our human nature as it is to know God and see Him face to face, we are content to know that He exists, but that's pretty much were it ends. We may love Him, but in our natural contemplation we cannot desire that which is not proper to our state.

If we find ourselves longing for God, however, for union with Him, a desire to be with Him, a love that surpasses all other love...that is a supernatural grace. It does not belong to our nature but transcends it in order to help us to reach our intended end, that being...eternal union with God.

Oh...so much there. I hope to write more on that when I've had time to learn about it and contemplate it...and Him...more deeply.

On Liturgy:

There will probably be much to come on this. We are not reading about what "other people said" about the liturgy, but are reading authoritative Church documents themselves.

Liturgy can be a challenging discussion because there is a LOT of misinformation out there, all across the spectrum, and as it's a charged arena, a lot of self-proclaimed "experts" are spouting off a lot of things.

Guess I'll be one of them. Except that...I'm not an expert. And can't claim to be, even after this class is done.

But I WILL know a heck of a lot more, will be able to recommend solid information (i.e. magisterial documents), and as our professor explained, will have some information on the changes coming our way in the Liturgy. He pointed out that we in that classroom are likely to be on the "front lines" and will be the ones explaining to a lot of angry people the reasons for the changes being made and their implementation.

Well, not in my current job that wouldn't be my responsibility, however, given I have this blog, if I still have it by then, well, perhaps I will need to be one of the voices speaking up.

Our professor believes it will be implemented sometime in 2012. Change is slow, but he is happy to note what the USCCB is doing to prepare the faithful through their website.

There may be more to come in another post yet tonight as several things are rushing around my brain right now and I'll feel better if I write them down.

*