Confirmation Name Meme

I think this is more of a free-form kind of Meme, and thanks to Theocoid for the inspiration and origin:


Many of us were Confirmed under the name of another Saint. The practice today is to be Confirmed under our Baptismal name (which is in fact, the most proper) but there are some Confirmed under a Saint's name because their given name is not a Christian name. (Think about it: Autumn, Aureliuste, Destiny, Moon Shadow, Raven, Zephastophanes....).

In my parish, the practice was to be Confirmed under the name of a Saint, and we wore our chosen Saint's name in place of our own for the Sacrament. I actually loved St. Joan of Arc...but that was Mom's Saint...so, as a rebellious teen, I couldn't possibly take that name.

So I searched and searched through Butler's "Lives of the Saints" and chose a name I liked...and wished I had...and discerned whether I could live with it for life: Christina.

I don't know why I liked the name, but in researching it, I did like my options. Unfortunately, some of the Christina's were legendary. Others just seemed weird. But I couldn't let the name go. I didn't want to go with a popular Saint like St. Therese of Lisieux or some other, because I wasn't popular myself. I was looking for a Saint who was weird, like me. Someone who didn't fit in. Someone completely misunderstood by others. Someone who didn't like others...and didn't care. (I'm not painting a very flattering picture of myself at the time, but it's how I felt and it's how I saw the world.)

At that time in my life I hated the world,I hated my life, and in fact, I wanted to die. I didn't want to even associate with the world. So the more bizarre revelations of the life of St. Christina were in fact, very appealing to me.

My human intentions, admittedly, were not proper nor were they pure. But I think my Saint's own intervention proves the intcession of the Saints. I chose a Saint in a very tumultous time in my life...and she has answered, over and over again.

I remember meeting with the priest at mh parish, and telling him about my Saint. And although I knew the priest well (as I was well involved in my parish) I had a difficult time explaining why I chose this Saint because my choice was so close to my heart and my suffering. I felt that if I revealed too much...well, he would know what we were going through and what I was going through. And maybe he would guess what I was thinking, and most certainly, he'd react to stop me. And I didn't want ANYONE to know my soul, even him. I sat there in his office across from my Pastor, contemplating suicide, revealing my Saint.

I chose St. Christina. There are several St. Christinas, some are legendary, some not. So I chose from the conglomeration, and what I really wanted. I chose from the very heart of my suffering.

St. Christina: Little Christ.

A Saint who suffered and was persecuted for proclaiming the Gospel. She proclaimed Christ...and as punishment, they cut out her tongue. She spoke more eloquently than beofore.

She spoke of her visions of Christ...and they cut out her eyes. She saw more clearly than before.

I think in some legends, they threw her into a furnace and she survived, so they tried to drown her, but she was saved by St. Michael.

There were stories about how she would hide in ovens to escape the odor of sin. The first picture (above) is a depiction of St. Christina the Astonishing. She had apparently died, but during her funeral she sat up in the casket and levitated to the rafters. The priest officiating at her funeral had to talk her into coming down; but she was there because she could not stand the odor of sin and was only seeking to escape it. From that point on, she devoted her life to praying for the Holy Souls in Purgatory, wishing that she herself could finally expire in order to be with her Beloved, Christ, for eternity.

Some of this was clearly legend, so I took from the legends the gist of the meaning, and that was what I used to explain my Saint: No matter what they did to St. Christina, it made her strong. No matter what form of persecution, that attack made her stronger in that very thing they sought to destroy.

I didn't realize at the time that the Saint really chose me, for she took pity on me in the life we were living. And although much of what is known about her is legendary, there is some truth, and it reveals that the woman was a true feminist; outspoken for Christ, uncompromising in truth.

And I see now that there is even a link to the Dominicans...she has been compared to St. Mary Magdalene, very special in the Dominican Order, and it seems she was even taken into a Dominican convent. Even though I should not be surprised...I am. Because I have come to believe, whether Lay or Religious, I have a Dominican Vocation. Thank you, St. Christina.

I'm 33 this year, and chose this Saint when I was only 15 or 16; but she has clearly been a huge part of my life. For it has been in my weaknesses that I have been made strong, through those being drawn to Christ. And it was in what I thought I fled that brought me to the very sources of my fears and the very meaning of my life.

You can read about St. Christina here and here and here.

Whom shall I tag?

Ask not for whom the blog tags, for it tags Thee!

St. Frances of Rome

Every so often I pray to the Unknown Saints...and every time I do, a Saint I didn't know about or one who has not been canonized comes to my attention.

Tonight, from a simple typo called to my attention in my previous post also brought dear St. Frances (not St. Francis) to my attention. This Saint has quite a story to tell!

Here is her prayer:

Saint Frances of Rome, help us to see the difference between what we want to do and what God wants us to do. Help us to discern what comes from our will and what comes from God's desire. Amen

Intrigued? Read her whole story at Catholic.org:

Frances started a lay order of women attached to the Benedictines called the Oblates of Mary. The women lived in the world but pledged to offer themselves to God and serve the poor. Eventually they bought a house where the widowed members could live in community.

Frances nursed Lorenzo until he died. His last words to her were, "I feel as if my whole life has been one beautiful dream of purest happiness. God has given me so much in your love." After his death, Frances moved into the house with the other Oblates and was made superior. At 52 she had the life she dreamed of when she was eleven. She had been right in discerning her original vocation -- she just had the timing wrong. God had had other plans for her in between.

Follow the link and read her entire story. I now feel a whole lot better about my own Vocational discernment; God has a plan, I am truly trying to follow it, and I have absolute faith that even if I totally mess things up, God will use my mistakes as stepping stones en route to His goals for me. God cannot be taken by surprise.

My Vocation has been much on my mind of late as I had quit my job, am going to work for the Church directly, have begun graduate studies in theology...and for what? What am I doing? Why? What am I SUPPOSED to be doing? Am I not too old for such confusion? How did I go from wanting to be a cop to being a Church Lady? HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? Am I supposed to get married? Remain Single? Eventually enter a religious order?

God will answer when the time comes. For now, I know that I am where God wants me to be, I'm flying by the seat of my pants, and truly praying that I do well in my new employment; my ability to do my job directly impacts many of God's children.

But St. Frances dealt with being thrust into a situation she didn't understand, didn't want to live...and lived it anyway. And the Lord placed allies with her, strengthening her to live the first Vocation to which she was called, as preparation for the second.

I only pray I may also accept my own circumstances with the same joy with which she accepted hers.

St. Frances of Rome, pray for us!