I Believe

It's been a very difficult Advent for me as I've battled my own sin, my own failings, and have been often brought to the throne of Mercy in the Sacrament of Confession. I can't even call it a purification of any sort; to do so would be pretentious. There has been no victory on my part, only great recognition of my own need, and in that is abundant and undeniable Grace.

As we approach Christmas, I find myself finally entering into the joy and anticipation of the season; it's been completely absent this year.


I've often thought of the Incarnation this Advent; considering how God became man, uniting both the human and the Divine. When I look around the world, when I see the filth around us, the sin, the reality of our lives, the reality of our social decisions, and the reality of our physical and spiritual weakness, I can't help but ask, "Why would HE want to become like US?"

I would NEVER have chosen this. Ever.

Let us all be thankful that God does not think as I do. For He created us to be in union with Him; when Adam and Eve fell from grace, they started the ball in motion that has brought us to where we are today.

God did not wash His hands of us and leave us to ourselves, but loved us so much that He remained involved. God has NEVER left humanity; it is always humanity that has chosen to leave God. He looked down upon us in pity, knowing what we chose and what we didn't choose. Knowing our hearts even better than we knew our own. He punished in order to convert; and never did He spurn a repentant heart. Ever.

Finally, He fulfilled His plan, and sent His only Son. We who believe in the Trinity know that Jesus is God Himself, the second Person of the Sacred Trinity, and even though our minds cannot grasp this Truth, we accept it. Christ Himself told us, "He who sees me has seen the Father" (paraphrased).


And constantly, through my devotion to the Infant of Prague, I've constantly tried to meditate, if imperfectly, upon the Incarnation. God become man, through the most unimportant of peoples, through the downtrodden, born in a dirty cave and laid in a manger encrusted with camel spit.

Most of us were born in hospitals, or homes. Maybe even cars.

Not the Messiah. And that was only the beginning of His suffering on our behalf; for we MUST see that the wood of the manger is the same wood of the Cross, and the same wood of the tree from which Adam and Eve ate, and when we consume the Body and Blood of Christ, we partake in the New and Everlasting Covenant that has redeemed us.

Twice this week, an infant boy has been placed in my arms, and I couldn't help but consider how this tiny human being was himself a reflection of the Divine Infant. So innocent. So sweet. So perfect...and so human.

So God entered the world, to save us from our sins and bring us to eternal life. So a child has led us, even unto the Cross.


The ONLY way to Heaven is through the Cross, and if we ignore that fact, we cannot call ourselves Christian.


I recently revealed my own struggle with belief this week, and in a form of reparation, I want to share with you some thoughts that have come to me over the course of my Old Testament classes in the last two years. Maybe my own denial of God was private (not everything was in the blog post), but because I am a baptized, Confirmed Catholic, I know that it is my place to "prophesy to the nations". And so I do, in the name of Christ Himself:



What I believe


I believe that Adam and Eve fell from Grace through Pride, and that the Garden of Eden was a true physical place which is now guarded by a fierce Cherubim.


I believe that Abraham is our father, and that the promise of the Lord to him has been and is being fulfilled even as we speak.


I believe that Joseph was sold into slavery, was given the keys to the kingdom, placed in position to redeem his family, and humbled in the experience.


I believe that young David killed Goliath armed with only a sling and a stone.


I believe that the 9-foot-thick walls of Jericho fell to the sounds of trumpets.


I believe that Ezekiel prophesied as directed to the valley of dry bones, and those bones rose, took on flesh and were resurrected into a great army; and that this army fortells both the Resurrection of all the dead and the reality of the Church Militant and Church Triumphant.

I believe that the Prophets were privy to the Divine counsels and prophesied not only to their own generations, but foretold the coming of the Messiah.

I believe that the Law is written on the hearts of men (as stated by Isaiah), and that those who fail to heed it are lost by choice, but are not without hope of conversion and subsequent redemption.

I believe in the Immaculate Conception, that Mary was conceived without sin.


I believe in the Virgin birth and the Incarnation of Christ.

I believe that God became man, a complete union of human and Divine, and that He had the beatific vision from His very conception and suffered all that man suffers...but without sin.


I believe that the Jesus of history and the Jesus of faith are one and the same and cannot be destroyed by bad scholarship.


I believe. In spite of myself and my own doubts, I believe.


And if I could be present at His very birth, I would prostrate myself even in the sheep dung that defines my very life, and worship Him who died that I might have eternal life.


Amen.

*

I Have a Jewish Family

Tonight I spoke with my long-lost Jewish sister.

Seriously.

Here's the story:

My Mom grew up in southern Minnesota, on a farm. I'm not sure how it happened, but she became a nanny for a Jewish family in St. Paul when she was young, and lived with them for a few years. I grew up hearing about her "Jewish mother", and while she was always very devoted to the Blessed Virgin, she was not the Jewish Mother she referenced.

I remember one summer day, Mom was very excited because we were in St. Paul, and we were going to visit her Jewish Mother, Mom's second home. I still remember B., her welcome to us, her sincere joy at seeing my mother, all grown up with two of her own. I remember B.'s curly brown hair, her smile, and her ability to make her house ours for awhile.

For as long as I can remember, Mom has spoken of her Jewish family, and has, as a result, shown my brother and I nothing but the highest regard for those who follow Judaism. As we were growing up, whenever she read from the Old Testament, we knew she was speaking of her "other family" and their beliefs, which we share. Yet she reminded us there was a difference, and explained the difference in simple terms that we would understand. So I guess it's not surprising that I've always had a special affection for those who follow the Jewish faith...they've always been family to me.

Respect. That was key. And if that family was respected by Mom...well, that was good enough for us. (Take note, parents...kids learn respect from that which you show respect).

This last weekend, my brother and I took Mom out to celebrate her birthday, and as one would expect, we all discussed our lives. I mentioned that because of my Old Testament class and some other things I've read, I'd like to attend a Synogogue and see what the Jewish service is like. Mom mentioned that she exchanges "Christmas Cards" with one of the girls from her Jewish family, and would mention to her that I want to attend Synagogue. She said I should call her and meet up.

I was shocked...it's been years since I've heard of them, so to hear Mom bring them up...well, I was a bit cautious. Was Mom in close contact or would her request for her now grown-up charge to babysit her own grown-up daughter be...well, weird? But Mom was insistent...she wanted to put us in contact with each other. She seemed quite joyful at the prospect.

Tonight Mom called. She spoke with S. and told me I should call her. I found out that her "Jewish Mother" passed away suddenly only a few years ago, but the daughter told her I should call, she might be able to attend Synagogue with me.

After cross-examining my mother to be sure this wasn't an intrustion, a "mother-thing" (you know how mothers are, especially "Jewish mothers"), I discerned this was the real thing...an ex-nanny, adopted into a family informally, bringing in her own daughter by proxy. And vice versa. OK.

So I called S., and can I say...she's my sister. Our conversation just FLOWED.

All we had to do was talk about Mom (I was DYING to know what she was like when she was younger), which morphed into discussing religion, and in the end, S. said that although she doesn't attend very often, she'd love to meet me there and then go out for coffee or whatever. She was raised as a Conservative Jew, and sees herself now as a Reformed Jew...and the customs are different. According to S. many of the Jewish people no longer observe kosher or other laws, the Rabbis are women, etc. She feels the Conservative and Orthodox Jews are chauvenistic.

Fun fact: S. married a divorced Lutheran with a couple children who were born Catholic. So they determined to raise them Catholic, and both, although neither has converted and have very different beliefs, have done their best to make sure those children were raised according to their birthright; Catholic. It was a fascinating conversation. And thank God that they are so willing to try to do what is right for the children, according to how they were baptized as opposed to the belief of they, the custodial parents. Even if it's not perfect, I think we can all agree that this is parental sacrifice (and maybe a some relativism, but God can still act within that).

Anyway, while I want to attend a Synagogue that is most faithful to the Old Testament, and then, secondly the Conservative faith, I am also willing to attend the Reform Synagogue with my "sister" who hasn't been there in years. There's something about family, even pseudo-family, that helps us to go in directions we never anticipated.

Please pray for B., my Jewish "co-madre", God rest her soul and the soul of her husband, and for their daughter, S. whom I finally "met" tonight, a Reform Jew with Catholic children. I didn't grow up with them, but if Mom calls them family...they are family. I only wish I had met them before this.

God is so good, isn't he?

Oh, and this gets better. In tonight's conversation with my Mom, S. found out that she used to work for my cousin, who was the CEO at her last job. And they are currently neighbors and good friends. S. is going to call my cousin and discuss our familial relationship. LOL!

Small world.