A Bleg

I didn't wanna do it, and I've been praying about it and thinking about it, and really digging in my heels and resisting the idea. It is very difficult for me to ask for money. I pretty much grew up on welfare due to my family's circumstances and as a result I swore I would never live like that again. I swore I would not ask for money from others because there's nothing wrong with me and I can work for what I want or need.

Of course, I could not see into the future, and I did not look at this through anything but the eyes of wounded pride.

Several people, both people I know, and people who are regular readers, have contacted me privately and suggested I set up a donation account. People have indicated they want to help, but think that if I do determine to go the "bleg" route, I should be safe about it for all involved, and I completely agree.

So after much prayer, my recent circumstances, to include impending Grad school, the dog's illness, and the upcoming end to my regular paychecks, well, I've come to realize that I can't do it all. And I also had to realize that sometimes pride can get in the way of others who legitimately want to help what they see as a worthy cause, and sometimes we have to have enough humility to allow God to work through others.

I will admit I am doing this with reservations, but just the same, I intend to be transparent about it and tell you what I need. I will allow you and God to determine what you should or should not do. As always, my circumstances are in His hands, not mine, and that has never changed.

Those who read my blog are aware that I recently gave notice at my work, another reason I'm so hesitant to "bleg". Yet I am not asking for anything for my personal circumstances; my specific requests are for the vet bills for my greyhound, and for assistance with Grad school.

As for an update on Fire; he is actually doing OK, but his limp is worse. I spoke with the vet today, and he indicated that he expects this condition to "wax and wane", and the limp may be worse now yet still get better over time. He is already at the high range of his medications and more could bring us into dangerous territory, so for now, it's just a matter of trying to keep Fire quiet. That's really hard when he's interested in chasing the squirrels he's not allowed to chase! For now, we're in a holding pattern, and next month we will go in for another diagnostic X Ray to find out if we are dealing with a bone cyst (and whatever implications that has), or osteosarcoma, which implications are obvious.

The bill thus far for Fire is $492.84 from the Emergency Vet Clinic on Friday, and $62.45 for the follow-up visit with our regular vet on Monday, including the additional pain medication (Rimadyl) given for PRN usage when the current course of meds runs out.

GRAD SCHOOL

The second button I'm adding is for Grad school. I've had just as many people suggest I ask publicly for help with this. When I was accepted to school, I was awarded a Merit scholarship which is given for both need and merit. This covers 1/3 of the credits as long as I take 4 or more credits per semester. The agreement indicates that should I recieve a windfall, I should call the school to advise them that the scholarship is no longer needed; coversely, I was also told that if that scholarship is not enough, to contact them again so they can tap into other donors. People believe in this program so much they are literally making their own funds available for students who can't afford to pay for it. I pray to be one of those people one day.

In any case, I have spoken with a local priest who is seeking assistance for me for this program, but in response to the private emails I have recieved, I have decided to add a donation button for this as well.

My plans (God willing) are to take 5 credits this semester, and I just received the paperwork today. The costs are as follows:

* Tuition per credit hour........$479.00, 5 credit total:.....$2395
* Less amount paid by the Merit scholarship:.............. - $798.33
* Student fee per credit hour $20/credit. 5 credits...........$100.00
-
Amount needed after the scholarship........................$1,696.67
* Course notes for the following classes:
Old Testament I, Introduction to Vatican II, and Foundations of Catholic Spirituality...................... ...........................$50.25

Total needed for Fall Semester (not including books)..........$1746.92
*
There are costs for books and I do have the book list and recommended editions, etc. I'm not certain how much will be needed; I have a couple of the books, but ironically, although I own 3 Bible versions, it appears I need to buy another one.

I can list the needed books in another post in case someone has it and is willing to donate it, help me find it, or buy it for me. I can't ask to borrow a source, for I have already learned through experience that books become marked up, highlighted, underlined, and tabbed. And then they become officially "reference" material!

I don't know how to add this to my template, so for now, I'm just posting the buttons here. I've never done this before, and I do NOT want anyone to feel obligated. If the money isn't there for school, it's not there, and thus God's will is revealed.

I cannot stress this enough...I'm doing this very reluctantly, but at the behest of many people who think it's a good idea. Do not feel obligated; that is not my intention. Perhaps the biggest thing I need are prayers, and that costs nothing. If all you can or want to do is pray, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I ask you in turn to let me know of any of your intentions. Fair warning...I entrust all intentions into the hands of Our Mother of Perpetual Help!

God bless you all.


Please note: I copied the HTML given by Paypal, and apparently it included a very lengthy space. I can't edit it out. Additonally, I had tried to label the buttons but the label did not come through. They are: Fire's Vet Fund, and Grad School Fund.