I'll be older.
Jesus was crucified when he was 33, and that's something I've kept in mind all year long, and especially during Lent and on Good Friday. St. Catherine of Siena also figured prominently into my year, and she also died when she was 33.
And you know, it's been a great year, but a tough one. Shortly after my birthday last year, my greyhound was diagnosed with Osetosarcoma, and less than a month later, I had to take him to the vet to put him to sleep. That was quite the agonizing time, especially considering the fact that I'd finally given notice at my job and was jumping into thin air, sure I'd be homeless by now. But God is always glorified when we trust Him and give Him everything. I quite literally gave Him everything last summer, including my dog...and God was there for me. He sent me many kind souls to help me pay the vet bills, He sent me kind souls to help me pay for some of my grad school expenses, and He gave me a new job.
And He has been leading me by the hand all year. I don't even think I'm the same person now than I was a year ago.
So it's been a glorious year, filled with great joys and terrible sufferings throughout, and really, that's how Our Lord conforms us to Himself.
And I'm sort of sad to see this particular year go, because that particular number, 33, has come to have meaning for me. It's a year that helped me grow closer to Jesus Christ in ways I could not have expected. Although, just as that was only the real beginning for Him and for us, I know that He is only inviting me to take a new look, to go deeper into the mystery of the Cross, and truly let it define my life.
Life isn't about numbers and it's not about time, although it IS something that binds us in our humanity. But it doesn't define us.
Yet, I can't help but realize that within a month, I'm going to be "older than Jesus."
Now, that's just downright depressing!
10 comments:
i think i've told you before that i have that date on my calendar already for another of my little sisters - which means i have to remember two lovelies on that day ... but i'm up to it [assuming i'm still around by then - who knows? not me].
but i agree with the significance you're placing on this particular recognition - 'older than dirt' just doesn't sound the same as 'older than jesus was'
Courage, dear heart! (I say this to both of us because I don't like some of the changes my body is going through as I approach my thirty-fourth year.)
P.S. I just read the Ouch, ouch, ouch entry and comments. Should the time come, don't be afraid to activate the PayPal account. "Bear ye one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2 NAV) Give us this opportunity to help you bear.
woodrow,
i second, and confirm, your sense re the paypal account...
and i affirm your scripture selection for that comment.
some days i can just live in Galatians. There is so much apt and practical advise there.
Uncle Jim ~ oh, you charmer, "lovlies" indeed! LOL!
Woodrow ~ Another kindred soul! And thanks for the offer, and how 'bout this: if worst comes to worst and my temp job possibilities don't work out, well, I'll bleg. But 'twould be better if I could just work for a living like everyone else! Ironic...we have to sign a document for employment, "Justice in Employment", but of course, in reality that document applies to everyone but Church employees! 10 month positions...in this economy! (But the parish doesn't have the money, really, either.)
Uncle Jim ~ Yeah, I love Galatians, too. And James..I LOVE James.
and we've been doing James lately in the daily readings - again, more practical wisdom.
oh...
and re comments at 'called by name', yes the MN twins are in cleveland that weekend FR, SA , SU - I thought maybe you'd like to know that - i know FR & SA are eve games, I don't remember about SU
and i do know LM [a pseudonym]- we met when we went to cleveland last fall for that last outing - for that pro-life movie, the name of which i can't remember. have you read her blog re her discerment to religious life?
Uncle Jim `The movie ..." Bella", that I still havent' seen...and her blog...she sent it to me, asked me to keep it confidential. So I haven't posted it at all.
She and I have been in contact via email.
And you should know that although Fr. S. is a fan of the Reds, he's ALSO a fan of the Twins...maybe we should all hit a game? I'm only there 3 days...so much to do in such a short period of time!
friday night might be best bet.
SA eve leaves all facing an early alarm clock on SU morning
see if you can sell it - seeing a game at 'the Jake' is fun.
Adoro - I turn 34 next month as well and have spent this past year reflecting on Jesus' last year.
My thoughts probably aren't as spiritually mature as yours. They run more along the lines of "Please, God, I really, really don't want to have the same type of 'bad' year that Your Son did." (While realizing that I am eternally grateful and humbled by Jesus' death, I'm more selfish than most.)
Now that this pregnancy has turned into one sick day after another, I think my prayer has been answered in the negative, but hopefully without the death part.
Kaureen
Kaureen ~ No, I had those thoughts, too. i'm also very selfish. More so than you, I think! LOL1 And you know, with you suffering through this pregnancy, when you're 33, no less, you are so united to Christ Crucified! That is so cool! Just as He had to suffer and die in order to bring us to eternal life, so you have to suffer and "die to yourself" in order to bring this new soul into the world and lead him (or her) to eternity. It's the ultimate cooperation with the Creator!
You remain in my prayers. :-)
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