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Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Digging Out...

I'm making headway on my work for class this upcoming weekend. My paper on Christology is basically finished but needs some tweaking. I can't say I'm happy with it, exactly, but I think it says what it needs to say, hopefully coherently. Hopefully. And I've finished the study questions for the same class. And oops! I need to finish reading Hebrews...can do that in a few minutes.

I still have stuff to finish for my other classes, and I have huge mental blocks that are preventing me from wrapping my mind around some of these ideas. It didn't help that Sunday (or maybe Saturday) night I had a dream. A terrible one. I dreamed that on our lunch break at class, our professor set a piece of paper down on my desk, and when I turned it over, I saw my grade: "F"! It was awful! And I realized that I'd forgotten to turn in my assignment, so I went to the professor, whom I know to be very merciful, and explained that I hadn't completed it, didn't know why, and asked for our lunch break to complete it. He agreed. And I turned it in, knowing that I'd be docked a full grade, and as a result, I'd have to drop out of the program because I'd lose the scholarship and the bad grade might force me to have to retake the class. And I became very resigned to this disaster.

I woke up very relieved that I don't officially have a bad grade...yet.

And then last night...oy! It was a conglomeration of bad dreams! First I was in a building sorta like my Alma Mater, but with more twists and turns than any building ever created! And someone told me to carry an elderly priests' bags up to an area near the chapel there, which I was happy to do, but I had to do something else there, too. But I wasn't sure what! And Mass was going on, and I went into the sacristy (which looked like a large industrial kitchen), thinking I was supposed to help the sacristan, suddenly terrified that Father had nothing to consecrate and it must be my fault! But a student was present and sent me back downstairs. So I nearly fell down the stairs and found another chapel, then learned that was where I was supposed to bring the bags.

Oh, and for some reason I was planning a wedding, I was wearing a veil and realized that somehow all the wedding planning was done although I didn't remember any of it, and invitations had been sent. But it was to be a small wedding and I was really relieved because I was tired from dragging the elderly priest's luggage all over a crazy building! And of course, I had NO IDEA to whom I was about to be married! (And no, it wasn't the old priest..! LOL!)

Hmm....stressing much?

And now I'm going to go to sleep. I hope.

7 comments:

Maureen said...

Eek! Definitely doesn't sound like fun. Maybe you need to stop in at the Adoration Chapel and give it to Him?

St. Catherine of Alexandria, please help Adoro not lose her head or spin her wheels! :)

adoro said...

I spend LOTS of time in the chapel, esp. considering I work in a church and Jesus is right down the hall. And I spend most of the time begging for help. I think He is just shaking his head and humming, "How do you solve a problem like Adoro?"

Anonymous said...

Adoro - ('how do you solve a problem like Adoro?) - LOL!

My friends & family sing that to me since I keep asking the Priests questions - one being if we could ask for a different penance.

What's worse - is that my friends go in & before the Confession ever begins - they ask the priest if they can have their penance changed if they don't like it!!! and then they blame it on me!!!! LOL

And yes, we can ask for a different penance, but not because we don't like it. We can ask for something different to help us grow & in line with the sins (penance to fit the sin). It's actually better to tell the Priest before the Confession begins that you are trying to become a better Christian & better in the eyes of our Lord (more holy) and you would like a Penance that would help you do that. It's amazing!!!! And wow! does it help me grow!!!

It's much better to have a regular confessor who will help you to grow & become holy.

Regarding the wedding - could this be regarding your discernment?

LM

adoro said...

LM ~ LOL, I KNEW someone was going to ask that! And in Mexico, dreaming of a wedding is actually symbolic of death.

But no, I don't think any element of the dream had anything to do with anything. The priest...he's a priest I know, and even in the dream he called me "sweetie" when I carried his luggage for him, which actually really happened a few months ago. (It was a box of stuff from his car on that occasion...and no way could he carry it himself!) And the veil..I'm thinking it has more to do with all the recent First Communions. Stress dreams tend to just be a jumble of STUFF floating around in your head...like the dream I had. Or of course, fears such as getting a bad grade on a paper!

Anonymous said...

Note to self... never dream of getting married.... LOL

Anonymous said...

Adoro - based on your comments - MAJOR stress going on! If only we could call "Calgon, take me away" and end up on the Riviera w/ nothing to do but read & relax.... but life brings us back. lol

However - relaxing in front of the Most Holy Eucharist in the Adoration Chapel has been extremely relaxing for me as well. Sometimes it's just nice to 'be' with Jesus!


and Anon - if only we could tell our brains which dreams we want to have & those we don't...LOL

LM

uncle jim said...

and to quote a friend [you]
"I can't wait to meet you!"

and now i'm humming that song

you and terry are both cunning antagonists