Blogs of our Lives - Episode 6 - The Blog and the Blogiful

When we last left off, we were discussing a nun headed to a cloister juxtaposed against trashy sex with aliens, which is apparently a hot topic for college theology professors these days.

But today, we start with Desperate Irish Housewife, who is learning Spanish and whose daughter met an Anchovy. Said daughter advances the idea that the Anchovy spoke to her and explained that he didn't believe in God, nor does his mother. Who knew that pizza condiments could speak? And one would think that any creature about to be baked into cheese on a slab of bread and tomato sauce would be forced into SOME acceptance of a hereafter. But apparently anchovies aren't too bright (which expains how they end up on pizzas...). But really, we must ask...who IS that anchovy, REALLY?! And is he as desperate as the housewife?

From anchovies to absent...uh...fish...we go to a little corner of Chicago, where, regrettably, Ma Beck has handed in her resignation. Her farewell post went up on Monday, May 26, and to this day we mourn her loss to the world of the ever-turning blogs. But her memory cannot go unremembered, and her blog, unread. The words remain, even as the woman behind them as fallen silent, taken back into the life outside of the cyber age. Fare thee well, dear friend!

(Stage Direction:
Moment of silence for the lost blogger.... Taps begins to mournfully sound...)

Moving on to those who still walk among the blogs, we find the Curt Jester, lively as always! He first points out the lack of logic and continued defiance on the part of the "Women's Ordination" crowd, which, it must be observed, is very much akin to the rhetoric used by drunk drivers or even speeders when they are caught and must accept the consequences of their poor choices. (They love to claim "entrapment", quite indignantly, avoiding the entire concept of their own behavior and decisions leading them into the radar of the authorities). The good man also points out the only Mass translation that will make the US Bishops happy, and suggests that we all become very comfortable with Dick and Jane, for, clearly, American Catholics must be idiots as must be any of the clergy below the level of bishop. So...Dick and Jane untie! Uh...I mean...UNITE! (Which wrod is rite?)

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

Adrienne is mowing her lawn, which is a great rest after hosting this week's Catholic Carnival! (Although, seriously...who knew she was a cat?! Wow!) Way to go Adrienne...such a good kitty, such a good kitty to type and mow the lawn! Would ums like some catnip? Sure! Sure ums would! Good Adrienne! Such a sweet kitty...such an aggressive kitty when cutting the grass!

Oh...ahem...excuse me...I uh...let's move on...

Here in Minnesota, the infamous ironic professor announces the group that is left behind and out of this summer's activities, and is working to advance World Old Day! She also brings us a story about a parish that gave up the ship and began worshipping the flag on the 4th of July, scandalizing many, bringing others to indescribable patriotic ecstasy. We must ask...last time, the good professor explained that her field of study was trashy sex with aliens...but now, is she working on another field? Old people and idolatry? (She should interview Curt Jester...he's got great research material for her...)

And what of the nun headed to the cloister? As it turns out, Mary Gibson of Veritatis Splendor was indeed blessed and in love with Jesus Christ and entered the Benedictines of Mary, Queen of Apostles, on June 11, where she joins the ancient ranks of women who have always upheld the Church by living a hidden life of prayer and sacrifice for the sanctity of souls. She will be praying especially for priests, and in turn, needs the prayers of all of us for her and her intentions.

Speaking of priests and religious...

We next go to Cleveland, on a more serious note, where Father V. has become pastor of his own parish and discusses the return to communion on the tongue and rules for seminarians back in 1947. Having recently lost his own father, he also posts his homily from the funeral Mass, words that will surely warm the hearts of all those who have loved ones who struggle in the throes of disbelief. Please remember Fr. V., his father, and his family in your prayers.

Next we move on to the joyful news brought by another priest, Fr. Schnippel of Called by Name. When we last left him, he was building an ark, but now, he is extolling the beauty of new life given to two families close to him. Read more for the update! And further, he praises the courage of the Chinese Martyrs, whose feast we celebrated yesterday. In the good Father's words, "Would that we all had the same courage and conviction as this young man."

Amen, Padre. And it's still happening in China even as we speak, and all over the world.

And what of the Brothers and Sisters of Perpetual Discernment? They've been quiet lately...what's going on? Most people don't realize, because the rest of the world seems to shut down in the summmer for "vacation season" that this is when the Church really ramps up. It's not certain that even Pastors and Parish Administrators realize what's going on, between Mission Trips, Vacation Bible Schools, and other youth events, how thinly stretched are their staff in these hot and humid months. Even as the corridors of the Catholic schools fall silent, the same children and youth are learning about how to live for Christ through various summer activities, most not held within the walls of a church or school. But have no fear...the Brothers and Sisters of Perpetual Discernment have come to the rescue of their local parishes, and with hilarious results! It seems the Monastery still doesn't have a new name, Sister Caprice is as confused as ever, and Brother Gus is, as usual, up to his regular tricks. Brother Brit seems close to a decision, and Sister Perpetua seems to have found her style and has red hair.

What will happen to the perpetual discerners? Will they ever learn to discern, or will their hectic summer schedule keep them from discovering God's will for them?

Speaking of God's will....

The Recovering Dissident is on a hiatus and wants to be alone, but took a break from her break to ask that we pray for the return of valuable Church artifacts that were stolen from Archbishop Nienstedt on the weekend he was in Rome, receiving the pallium.

In the world of Catholic blogging, life goes on, ranging from the tragic to the heartbroken to real crimes, to the most joyful of events. These blogs of our lives reveal the hearts of real people living the faith with humor and grace in a world that has gone mad...or is it WE who have gone mad...?

Until we meet again, this has been another episode of....Blogs of Our Lives...


(Ending credits and music....Ave Maria....gratia plena.)