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Saturday, September 08, 2007

REDNECK JOKES!

OK, everyone, I need to have some fun. I live in the redneck portion of my metro area, and the other day someone commented that one of the local radio stations refers to a certain interchange near me as the "redneck bottleneck". I'm still lauging. We have MORE pickups per capita here than Texas, I'd wager. And although Soccar Moms are up there, too, the rednecks crowd them out.

Today I happened to hear Jeff Foxworthy again, and I've always been a fan. So I'm going to start with the redneck jokes I remember, and I'm asking all commenters to post their own. Go ahead and post what you remember from Jeff Foxworthy, but, to be fair, if you're quoting him or what you think he said, please cite him with a "JF" at the end of your post.

That way, those of you who are speaking from experience or observation can be recognized as being kings and queens of redneckdome! LOL!

So it begins....

If your grammy keeps a spit-cup on the ironin' board...You just might be a redneck.

If you have ever listed "ammo" on your Christmas list....

If your family tree does NOT fork....

If your HOUSE has wheels and your car DOESN'T.....

If you go to family reunions to look for a DATE....

If you back up your truck and hit the brakes hard to do a donut to unload it....

If hitting a deer at 65 mph is your idea of hunting...

If your Salad bowls all say "cool whip" on the side....

If your dress is strapless, but your bra isn't....

If you have to miss 10th grade because of jury duty...

(all from Jeff Foxworthy)

3 comments:

UltraCrepidarian said...

1. Iffin' you'ze fond of beginnin' your sentences with "Well, I reckon...."
2. Iffin' you've got three or more hyphens in your first name (i.e. Billy-Jo-May-Bob)
3. All dressed up for dinner means you found your shirt, and put it on, but you still kayn't find no shooz.

I mayded those'uns up.

W

Adoro te Devote said...

Ultra ~ LOL, you Canadian! I'm going to sick this website on your blog:

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

You are a Redneck!

Melody said...

Well, the western end of our state, where I grew up, is sort of redneck country. And speaking of pickups, you might be a redneck if the first time you drove one, you were 11 years old. Or you got embarrassed because your Daddy picked you up at school pulling a horse trailer behind his pickup. Or your brother got in trouble at school for having a can of Skoal in his shirt pocket. Or you have a picture of your Mom on a horse, wearing a tiara, the year she was rodeo queen. Or you go back to the home place, and there are tractors there older than you are (50-plus). I didn't have to make these up!