Family

I can only stare at theology so long before my brain implodes, and then I'm done. I hope it gets easier, but for now, my mind just can't take it and I have to get away. So I found myself watching "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days", and I confess, I like this chick flick.

My favorite part is where she goes with him to visit his family in Staten Island. This scene strikes a chord with me; they did a great job with the scene. It's realistic, and in some ways, I've been a part of such a scene before. The family welcoming the girl, making her feel at home, and she falls in love with them, and they with her. It's a classic scene, and I like how this movie treated it.

Even though this plays out differently for everyone, there are certain elements that remain the same, and the romantic in me always gives in, the idealist refusing to let go. And I'll come out and say it; that scene is what I want, and watching it makes me feel lonely because I don't have it. And perhaps never really did.

I went out with a guy for about 3 1/2 years, and part of what kept me with him was his family. They were so gracious, they welcomed me, and made me a part of their family. When I house-sat for R. when he went to Afghanistan, they made sure I knew I could call on them for assistance if something was needed. So I'll admit it...I kinda fell in love with his family.

And apparently the feeling was mutual. R. and I broke up, but then I still house-sat for him when he was deployed to Iraq, because we had adopted dogs, and I needed to get away from my roommate. But his family and friends were still there, with open arms.

One evening, his brother came by to pick something up, and as he left through the back gate, he stopped, turned around, and paused, apparently having some kind of interior battle with himself.

Finally he said, "OK, I have to say something. R. is a FOOL! I always liked you, and so did my daughter C. And I just wanted you to know that. He is a fool to let you go."

Then he walked away, but he made my day. He wasn't the only one to express such sentiments, and for that, I'm grateful. I'm also grateful I didn't marry R., but it was nice to know his family cared for me just as I had cared for them.

And what I realize is that this isn't so much about marriage as it is belonging. We all have families....our immediate families, our parish families, our clubs, our groups. And what makes a difference is the love that ties us all together. In a sense, we do fall in love with each other. No, it's not all sticky romantic stuff, but there is something that ties us, and we know it's there when we welcome others and are welcomed by them, and in some sense, made to feel as part of a family. There's nothing in the world like it.

So on one hand, even as I long for the Hollywood scene, I know that every time I go to Mass, every time I go to the Church to help out or just to pray, I have that scene and so much more. No, it's not temporal, but there's something to be said for being set apart for God and His children at this time in my life. I don't think there's any family in the world, as wonderful as they might be, that can hold a candle to what it means to be a part of God's own household.