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Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Worship Faux Pas

You people have GOT to check out Ironic Catholic's advice to...well, all Catholics.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Worship Faux Pas And How To Avoid Them
Dear RCIA candidates,

We know you RCIA candidates are learning all kinds of important doctrine. But there are the "little things" about Catholic worship you don't want to ask out loud, aren't there? Yes, yes, we know. We are here to help. We hope this list helps you in your journey to reception in the Catholic Church this Easter.

1. If you have your cell phone on, changing the ring tone to "Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee" for Mass time doesn't cut it.

2. Invading the personal space of other members of the Body of Christ: Be sure to space yourself the exact same distance from the other parishioners as they do themselves. Observe carefully; this is a skill intuited after years of practice.

3. If you bring Cheerios to pacify your toddler, bring enough for the kids in the pew behind you as well.

4. If you come to Mass tired, don't slump disrespectfully. Depend on the skills that got you through high school. At least hold your head in your hands in such a way that you look reverential.

5. If you are able-bodied, the reverential bow at the reception of the Eucharist shouldn't be confused for a body twitch.

6. When the collection basket comes around, never use the collected money to break change for your $100 bill.

7. Kneeling etiquette: once done, sit back S L O W L Y to avoid slamming your back into someone's folded hands.

8. Yes, the Holy Eucharist is a participation in the Heavenly liturgy, as we transcend time and space, singing with angels and saints. Ergo, it is politic not to look bored. However, if you are too enthusiastic, remember you will be accused of Pentecostalism. You are hereby challenged.

9. The crying room is a space of shared suffering, to be sure. But social networking crosses the line.

10. When all else fails, remember the secret Catholic motto: "I can sing quieter than you can sing."

Ironic directs the comments to RCIA candidates, but I have to say, there are quite a few cradle Catholics I know of who could benefit from the wisdom in this post.

Now, go check out her post, add your own "recommendations" and then follow the link to Curt Jester as he has his own additions!

1 comment:

Leticia said...

These are funny, how about a note to the elderly who like quiet at Mass to hear themselves pray (who doesn't?)PLEASE leave the crying room to parents with noisy children! Or if there is no crying room, leave us the last pew, so we can make a quick getaway to the vestibule. Don't sit there and scowl at us if junior gets restless, we're doing our best to hide in the back. Take the front pews we dream about occupying someday. . .in about 10 years.
Oh, and come on over to my blogs and try out the Baltimore Catechism Quiz.