Who's in Charge Here?

Some of you may remember my post, Let God Love You, wherein I lamented the fact that we bring so much to God...but when do we take the time to let Him just LOVE us?

Well, it's been a rough week for me, what with recovering from a weekend from class by working long hours and getting nothing else done. Not to mention the work and prayer involved in starting a chapter of Lay Dominicans. Which, by the way, seems to be happening, and it seems I'm the one doing the organizing. Which, by the way also, is not my gift.

So, naturally, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.

I often pray that I will become a Saint. That's my goal, and I'm failing miserably. Really. Just ask my Confessor (except that he won't talk...). And this week, especially I've been lamenting my failure to meet my expectations, assuming, of course, that my expectations of holiness must also be God's expectations, for shouldn't we all be Holy as our Father in Heaven is Holy? Therefore, I have to be Holy to the MAX!

And then I fall into a cycle of being frustrated because I'm not Holy, and I'm upset at my lack of even being SORRY I'm not as Holy as I should be, especially because it's Lent...do you see where I'm going with this?

I'm not even sure how I ever got into such a cycle, but there it is. I honestly think that God just lets me fall on my face because its the only thing that ever works to knock any sense back into me.

Well, tonight I stopped by Ironic Catholic's place, and she had JUST THE PHRASE for me, and one I will join on to my first phrase of "Let God love you."

What did she have to say, you might ask? Only this:

"Allow God to make you a saint."

That's it. That's all there is. It's not up to me to become a saint...it's up to God. I can't do anything but be the sinner that I am, and continually try to cooperate with God's grace. And nothing takes God by surprise; He already knows when we are going to reject Him, and He has a plan in place, a plan built just for us.

Yes, we have to do our part, but ultimately, we don't make ourselves saints. God does. He does ALL the heavy lifting. He draws up all the plans, He sets up the staging area, brings in the nourishment, provides all the direction, does all the documentation, hires all the workers, coordinates all the workers and the necesssary outside interventions, arranges for delivery and shipping, and provides the proper certifications, permits, and Himself is the authority.

What does He ask of us, then? That we show up and follow the plan. He asks only that we take time to meet with Him every day for a consultation, wants to be certain we are healthy and nourished properly, and that if there is trouble, we bring it to Him to work out.

That does not mean we don't suffer, but it DOES mean that we don't suffer alone. If we are slogging around in the pits doing His work, He is actually directly in front of us, dragging us along, or, maybe pushing us. We do not suffer alone. We do not suffer without reason.

And that brings me to another point; I'm one of those people who wants to be a Saint, but without all that suffering. Yeah. No crown without a cross. We cannot build a Kingdom without being willing to sacrifice, sweat, and bleed for it.

Ultimately, it's never about us. It's about God. It's up to God to love us, and it's up to God to make us into Saints. We just have to go where we are led, and if we take the time to just let God love us, it stands to reason that we'll also take time to let God handle the Sainthood part.

He wants nothing more than to make us into Saints; that is what we are ALL designed to do. God created us entirely for Himself, to be unified with Him. Once we become convincted of that reality, we just have to avoid the temptation to want to take over and do all the work ourselves. God knows we can't handle it, we over-enthusiastic children that we are.

"You're too big for your britches!" Mom used to say, and she was right. She still is.

So take a moment, when you are caught between sin and tempation and love of God, and let God love you and take over your desire for more. He has a plan...live it.