Yeah, so...last night when I was trying to wrap Christmas gifts, I broke my toe. Good times, good times. Can someone bring me some painkillers?
Stop laughing.
No, I didn't go to the doctor...I don't have time and they can't do anything for a broken toe anyway. And no, I don't have time to ice 20 min on and off. IN fact, I'm preparing to head to my brother's for Christmas, a day early. This is a massive change in original plans, but so be it. And really, I need to be heading out soon. It's already "flurry-ing" out, the winds are picking up and the atmosphere has that oppressive feeling that tells you some kind of a winter beast is coming.
Let me tell you, this is NOT how I planned Christmas. Really, a broken toe was not part of my plans.
What happened, you ask?
Well, here's the deal: I had washed a sweater I want to wear to Mass on Christmas Eve. I had to lay it flat to dry and since the rest of my house is in chaos, the only "flat spot" was on my bed. So that's where I put it. I came up later to grab wrapping paper, and when I left the spare room with it, I saw the dog lying on my freshly-washed, still-damp sweater. I rushed in to shoo her off, and that's when it happened. There I was struggling to hold the long paper rolls, and what did I do but manage to slam my foot right into a heavy trunk that had been in that very spot since the day I moved in to this place almost 6 years ago.
Needless to say I dropped the paper, hit the bed screaming in pain, only to realize now the dog was standing on the sweater as she came to see the cause of my agony, making me have to stop mid-scream to get her off the sweater again. The poor dog jumped to the futon by the window, then when trying to get a toy to offer me, walked all over the paper. I had to stop screaming and shoo her off the paper before she wrecked it all, and then, finally, she found a "safe spot" and offered me her most beloved toy, a coyote that has seen better days.
And so at that point not only did I feel horrible because I was in so much pain as a result of my own klutzy stupidity, I felt horrible for yelling at my very sweet German Shepherd who was only trying to 'help".
*sigh*
I hoped it was just sprained and was SURE it would be better this morning. I slept last night with my foot elevated...all night.
It didn't work. And I gotta tellya...limping the dog (it couldn't properly be called "walking the dog") was quite an adventure today. At one point I stepped "wrong" and actually nearly started crying. That pretty much ended my denial...it HAS to be broken. *sigh*
I still managed to get to Mass, but there was no genuflecting for me...the very thought of even TRYING made me cringe. So I just bowed and sat down. Throughout Mass, each time we knelt, I found all sorts of interesting ways to do so without putting pressure on my toes. Thank God for those nice kneelers!
I'm telling you, people, wrapping gifts is DANGEROUS! Be careful out there! It's all fun and games until someone needs X-rays and a cast!
So glad Jesus gave me this little gift for this weekend. It will ensure I don't forget that His birthday wasn't exactly idyllic for Him, either.
Merry Christmas (well, almost...!)
12 comments:
reminds me of what Mary and Joseph did not expect .. as in a smelly stable
My point exactly! Except...he was born in a cave. No hay. Just manure and a camel-spit-lined feeding trough. Yuck.
You've got to be kidding me! Adoro, I'm sorry you broke your toe, but I can't stop laughing. Have you read this? I don't usually laugh at people's pain but your post was hysterical. To make it up to you for laughing, I'll say some extra Hail Marys for you and wish you a blessed Christmas:)
Oh, ouch! Nothing hurts like banging your toe hard; especially if you break it. If you were here I'd give you the rest of the Darvocet that's sitting in our medicine cabinet from when I had a root canal. I don't know, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to have it looked at; they could at least give you one of those wooden shoe things that immobilize it.
I hope the rest of your Christmas is better!
Mary ~ Laugh away! I WROTE this as humor. It's all true, but I WANTED it to be funny. Check out the labels I used at the bottom: humor, LOL, You can't make this stuff up, ouch...etc. :-)
Melody ~ No, they really CAN'T do anything for broken toes. There is nothing that can immobilize it, and, really..."wooden shoe thingie"? NO WAY! Besides, I have no idea how I'd navigate 20 inches of snow in wooden shoes. I think I'll just use a little self-sticking wrap and hope for the best! lol
May the Lord bless you for putting a smile on my face!
On a more serious note, may you fully cooperate with the grace to use this new suffering for the good of souls.
Adoro, you are hilarious! Doggie was trying to help, but yeh, I know sometimes their help is misunderstood by us! You poor dear! I am so sorry that you have to spend Christmas with a broken toe! It simply means you will not be doing much dancing this Christmas, but there will be other Christmases! Besides it's been a terribly busy year for you and this incident might just be a sign that you need to slow down. So do so. Enjoy Christmas with your loved ones and remember us, your fans! God bless you, doggie and your loved ones! Salud!
Good grief, girl. Step away from the wrapping paper! I know that trunk you mean. I'll treat it with great respect from now on.
Do you need help with the longer dog walks? I can't stay up there (my Dad's here) but I could stop by for the longer evening walks or something.
Life is a funny thing...whatever you don't expect to happen, happens.
Hope you recover. A broken toe is very painful and inconvenient.
I was just thinking that at least your beloved dog didn't wet on your sweater in the commotion and panic...I've been peed on several times and it is not pleasant...
Merry Christmas!
Charlene Actually I HAVE slowed down, and have been LOVING it! Problem is that I had to rush to get stuff ready to beat the storm as I had to get to my family a full day and a half before I'd planned...and now with a broken toe. If anything, it makes it HARDER to slow down. Life is like that.
As far as dancing goes...I don't dance. No way. I do have to walk the dog and just learned I'll be getting a foster this week. Oh, well. Pain is just something to remind us that we're still alive.
Cathy - no, thanks, it's better now and I'll manage. It's not like it's actually POSSIBLE to walk the dog in the weather and roads we have right now, with or without a damaged foot.
Father - lol, I've had that experience, had a dog puke on me just as I was trying to leave for work (was late that night! lol)...and I am thankful she didn't get nervous and pee on my sweater!
Merry Christmas y'all!
Ok, I'm here on standby if you need me. Just don't wipe out on any ice now! I mean it!
Oh, and tell Fuzzy Butt to chill when she sees another dog-at least until your toe is healed!
If you lived in Minneapolis, Adoro, you would have no problem getting the city council bizzybodies to adopt a resolution condemning Christmas Wrapping Paper and requiring warnings to be written in large type every 12 inches alerting clumsy, errr, pre-occupied people from stepping on errant pieces and breaking toes.
Hannukah and Kwanza papers would be another matter if you have some of those.
My sympathies. I had gout last year and it was the most painful experience of my life, replacing the pain of the corn on my left little toe I had removed 25 years ago.
I hope the remainder of your Twelve Days of Christmas are Happy and Holy!
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