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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Global Warming!


This is Adoro comin' atcha from the balmy frozen Twin Cities Metro area smack dab in the middle of the upper midwestern Siberian Tundra!

Let me tell you, folks, it's been below zero for DAYS now, and, truth be told, the ice that paved our roads and sidewalks, highways and byways in December is STILL THERE causing treacherous footing and driving for all of us. You might think I'm kidding, but that packed ice has not melted, IN SPITE OF the early January thaw...because that supra-permafrost layer on the earth's crust is JUST TOO THICK to melt like that! And in fact, the "thaw" actually just made the ice smooth out a bit, allowing for a bit of ice skating and some street hockey so the local kids could get their ice skates out of their backbacks for some after-school fun.

But they've really gotta bundle up in all these sub-zero temperatures that have taken over our state. Here in the Metro area, we're talking -10 to -30 windchills for the next two nights, and daytime digits bearly breaking Zero degrees.

Today though, that was one for the Global Warming got ALL THE WAY up to 9 DEGREES! YEAH! I don't know about you-all, but I got out my shorts and headed on down to the beach to work on my tan! And you know, I had that beach all to myself! And truth be told, I couldn't tell where the beach ended and the water began, so I asked a couple of ice-fishermen to point me to the nearest lifeguard station. Because, God knows that I don't want to drown in all this snow!

The weather report says that up in the Arrowhead region, they can expect extreme zub-zero temps, throughout the day tomorrow, and likely beyond the weekend. And in North and South Dakota, our brothers and sisters are buckling down for a long winter's cool down.

Good thing this is Global Warming. I don't know how we can get through another normal Upper Midwestern Winter without all this warming going on. Make sure you lesson your carbon footprint, folks, because if you don't, the temperature might increase a degree or so. And for goodness' sake, don't have any more kids, because begetting life is so contrary to life it isn't even funny. Especially here in the cold zone where we huddle together to keep warm. Nope. We don't want any more warm bodies up here to raise the temperature!

Now, please excuse me while I go tune my skis and pack my ice fishin' pack...

Yup. Global Warming. Just another "reason" to kill children indiscriminately, and we still have to ask...who's next? Oh, right, the mentally disadvantaged and the elderly, and anyone else considered by the standards of inconvenience to the status quo.

Today is the historic day that the deceitful Roe V. Wade passed, the beginning of the great American slaughter of the Holy Innocents. And as much as the pundits might say, "I'm personally opposed to abortion..." they're sure as HELL not doing a lot to personally oppose it while their politics and parties do what they can to garner their campaign funds from groups such as Planned Parenthood, aka "Baby-Slaughters-r-Us".

The latest argument against life is the myth of "Global Warming." I still find it funny that the great adventurers who went out to "prove" Global Warming had to cut their trip short thanks to a typical Arctic winter. Much as that which we're experiencing here in Minnesota.

But let's talk about an INCONVENIENT TRUTH: babies don't cause Global Warming. In fact, most legitimate scientists completely abhor the theory.

Detractors will say that we Christian-typs are bad for the environment and don't care about it at all. Let me tell you, them are fightin' words; there's a good lot of us Christians who love to recycle, who drive cars that have good gas mileage, who love to recycle, who love animals, and gosh darn it, we LOVE this unfathomably beautiful world the good Lord has given us. And, gosh darn it, we love the children that God asked us as human beings to co-create with him, and shame on YOU if you don't see that children and humanity and the world mesh together PERFECTLY.

Global Warming is a fallacy. And if you're going to continue to believe the fallacy, then you are welcome to it..but don't you DARE to suggest that the related myth of "population control" from eugenicists such as Margaret Sanger and her ilk have any solutions for us.

The reality is this; every single child concieved and born is a gift of God to the entire world, causing the warming of hearts. Every single child slaughtered in the womb shatters the hearts and freezes the souls of all those involved.

Perhaps Global Warming would be a good thing.


karen said...

Wonderful!!!! Amen!

Nancy said...

Up here in Manitoba we've been having windchills in the -40s lately and I sure don't hear much talk about global warming.


Although, interestingly enough, our temperatures seemed to go south just as our priest went south on his annual holidays ... hmmmmm. LOL

Anonymous said...

My kids are being indoctrinated about global warming at school...

Adrienne said...

Yes - just this morning I looked out my window at a world that is frozen white (it's about 4 degrees)and think about how much Al Gore has frightened me. LOL WHAT AN IDIOT!!!!

Angela M. said...

Checking in from northwestern Canada here where it's a relatively warm 19 degrees F. We are expecting 4" of snow.

adoro said...

I just checked. It's all the way up to 0 F. now!

Anonymous said...

I feel horrible now for complaining all day. I'm freezing in Arizona and it's about 59 degrees F.

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

Oh, you silly thing! Don't you know that the proper term for the recent and scary things happening with our climate (the end of the world as we know it) is "climate change"? "Global Warming" was just a way to get your attention and point out ONE of the things that will happen if we don't stop overpopulating Mother Earth with all of those carbon-producing peoplethingies! Ew, just the thought of one more, icky person being born, using up all of our resources, and ruining what could be a perfectly pristine planet gives me the shudders. Oopsie, I just realized that I left my car running (because it's so cold outside...but I'm sure tomorrow will be just steaming hot...Al Gore told me so) and used up more natural resources than I gave in carbon offsets this month. I gotta go kill myself now!

Fr. V said...

I'd give anything to live in a global cooling period - I can't stand the heat. By August I'm good for nothing.

The only good thing to come out of this controversy is that perhaps we will stop polluting so much. Beleive in global warming or not it's just smart to stop peeing in our own wells. I think that to be a rather neutral statement in the discussion but even that gets people's feathers in a bunch.

adoro said...

Laura ~ LOL!

Fr. V. ~ Yeah, I agree with you in that regard. I also hate the heat.

Arkanabar T'verrick Ilarsadin said...

My latest post on climate change, which explains the old hypothesis (which still explains everything just fine) with only a couple of errors.