Am I Oppressed?

I continue to come across blog posts, online comments, and real-life discussions delving into the "role of women" and condemning the position of the Catholic Church, claiming that the Church is "oppressive" and even "treats women as sex objects."

It is absolutely astounding and heartbreaking to me that someone would so misunderstand and even outright twist the teachings of the Church to support such a position, for claiming such is nothing but an outright lie.

I've written before about how I used to be a feminist, and I fully admit that I am STILL a feminist, but one with the original understanding going back thousands of years...and this doesn't mean what YOU might think it means.

In Brief:

To recap a little for those who aren't familiar with my story, I went to college for Law Enforcement, did become a Police Officer for a time, and have worked since then in many male-dominated jobs. During my training I tried to suppress any female inclinations (well, beyond the fact that I am attracted to men and always believed in Marriage!), to the degree possible. I had a "tough" veneer, worked hard to desensitize myself to things and suppress any natural emotional response to anything, thinking that to have empathy, to show emotions made me "girly" and would thus cause me to lose the respect of my male peers, maybe even my female peers.

Oh, sure, I painted my nails, wore makeup, and had long hair, but my attitudes revealed a very deep misunderstanding of what it meant to be a woman while I continued to give in to the culture surrounding me.

I will say no more of my history, other than to say that as I returned to my Faith, I have had to struggle a great deal with who I thought I was...and who God created me to be as His adopted daughter and potential Bride of Christ. I have to admit that this has been a big issue in my vocational discernment, and one that is ongoing as I try to resolve my crustiness against the need for holiness.

Contemporary Misunderstandings of Historical Realities

Because of the scourge of radical "feminism", the role of women in the Church is often misunderstood, even very intentionally so! To "misunderstand" is a way that we seek directly to justify ourselves in our unbelief or attitudes that are comfortable to us and our circle of friends. I do not point fingers at anyone in this, for it is human nature to do this with regard to any attitude or sin we hold dearly. It's an unfortunate part of our fallen nature, and something against which we need to remain on guard. Because of this, I cut radical feminists absolutely NO slack because I used to be one (or very close) too, and I remember the unspoken thought processes we shared, innately understanding, as well as the power of propaganda and rhetoric that we used to ignore rational discussions that sought to educate.

It was a lot easier to slam the Church or "misdirect" the discussion to something "peaceful" than to actually recognize the Church in her wisdom actually had something to offer...and that was salvation.

No one ever condemned me for my feminist attitudes. They didn't have to. The few people I met who didn't agree with my disordered ideology offered measured, truthful, and calm words, which were enough to lead me to condemn myself. Don't tell me, then, not to "judge", for I have been there; because of that, I actually have nothing but pity for those women who continue to engross themselves in their condemnations of the Church's constant pleas to recognize their (our!) true dignity as women created in the image and likeness of God!

People, both within the Church (sadly!) and without, have the impression that women are "excluded" in some way, or "oppressed" by an evil hierarchy. Those who stay in the Church actively work to disseminate their disobedience and misinformation "within" (which isn't actually possible, theologically) to try to destroy the hierarchy established by Christ and enforced by the Holy Spirit. Those from outside the Church work hard to crush this beautiful Bride made up of men and women both, this Bride born from the side of Christ, whom He loved so dearly He gave everything to save.

Instead of being open to the message of the love of Christ and beauty of woman, these people try to destroy beauty in order to spiritually photo shop their own disordered political and even sexual ideals.

The imagery and reality of true feminism reigns in both the Old and New Testaments; we see it in the images used in the prophets to explain the undying loyalty of a husband (God) to his wife (His people) in spite of her vile unfaithfulness. We see it in the stories of Hannah, Sarah, Rebekah, Judith, and Esther, (among others), all powerful and heroic women who stand as representatives of the Church, proleptic of the role of Mary.

The greatest of God's creation wasn't a Man (for Christ Himself is God so stands outside of this paradigm), but a Woman, that being she who bore Him. She stands above all men as an example to ALL.

I've also written previously on a few Biblical stories often misinterpreted to justify the false idea of "unjust patriarchal dominance" and that post can be found here, if you are so inclined. (That article is actually one of my most popular based on the number of clicks it receives in web searches.)

The Reality of Being a Catholic Woman

In honestly living my Catholic faith, I have to say that never before have I ever felt so respected as a human being.

I count among my closest friends and associates both clergy (priests) and laity (everyone else.) In our everyday contacts, in their friendship and even in randomly passing, they affirm my femininity and value in ways the secular culture tries so desperately to destroy. It is they who urge me on towards God, to bring my gifts (whether practical or spiritual) to enhance the Church, and if I do so, they reveal how it in turn enhances their own calling and also directs them also on to greater holiness.

I have to ask...what in these relationships is "oppressive"?

On the Role of Women

This discussion would be incomplete if I did not address this, the biggest cultural discussion on the topic of women and the Church.

I think that many outsiders and those who maybe have only seen the distorted side of Catholic teaching (sadly too often taught by Catholic laity in leadership positions) get the impression that the only reason the Church bans contraception is to keep women "barefoot and pregnant" and in the service of her husband.

It's true that the Church values family, and I know of many large Catholic families, counting many of them among my friends! It's also true that a parish community does tend to revolve around family life and activities that help to build the family, and in this, often seems to exclude, unintentionally, the large number of single men and women of all ages (for we are the product of our culture, the lost sheep.)

I used to have some bitterness about all this family-orientation, not feeling called to motherhood, and feeling that, if I wasn't, then I must be good for nothing at all. I didn't WANT to be a religious for in looking at religious life as it has been lived out for so long, I saw nothing but the road I had already been down (embrace of New Age spirituality, etc.) and I figured I could live a better life in finding employment as a Social Worker all on my own.

I felt like I was all alone as a woman in the Church, and that there wasn't really a place for me. I kept hearing about "roles" and in looking at the Church, wanted to figure out what "role" I was supposed to fill even as nothing seemed to fit.

It took several years, and when I finally fully returned to my faith, I met other young men and women who realized that "role" was the wrong question. The Church isn't about "roles". That is a secular term arising out of our utilitarian non-philosophical age, much to the detriment of all.

We were not created to become "roles". We were created out of love, by God, for God, for love. "Role" can't possibly come close to suggesting meaning especially in this supernatural institution of the Catholic Church.

"Role" is meaningless

My "role", then, as a woman in the Church doesn't involve family and children. It's not about my job (I am employed in a parish), or about any liturgical business I might serve in the future or have served in the past.

Trying to define "women's roles" is really the wrong question entirely, and in so doing, completely ignores the reality of what the Church is, WHO she Is, and what she has to say about Herself.

"Who are You? And what am I?"

The above quote, I believe, comes from St. Francis (please correct me if I'm wrong on this), and it's the question we all need to address deeply when we think we are lost and without purpose. It is only in relation to God that we can discover our true identity.

As women, our place, just as it is for men, is to become holy as our Father in Heaven is Holy. We are to conform ourselves to Christ, to love Him and prefer nothing to Him, no matter whether we are single, mothers, children, or religious. Our vocations differ, but our value is clear in God's eyes and in the Church.

We don't need our femininity affirmed through definitions of exterior things, but only through being who we are called to be by the God who brought us into being out of His own love.

I am no one special in the service of the Church, and I practice my faith quietly in my own parish, attending Mass, praying in the chapel, and getting involved in other ways as I am able. In my work in the parish I am known only by my employment there, and in the same way, live out my faith in exactly the same ways if in a position of leadership.

When I go to a Catholic Church, I find the respect towards me as a person that the rest of the world ignores. I am seen for who I am, not for what role some agenda wants me to fulfill. I am encouraged to be who GOD has called me to be, and live that out according to HIS call, not my own selfish desires.

When I walk into a Catholic Church, it is a sanctuary, a haven from the rest of the world, and more real than anything in the rest of my life. When I am in my pew, appearing to be alone at Mass, I am at that moment more fulfilled that I have ever been before, for it is there that I lose my individual identity to become joined with the Church, past, present, and future. It is there that in losing myself, I gain the world and am taught to become ever more who I am, to be authentically myself in this ongoing battle in the world that wants to put me in a box and define me according to its restrictive "feminist" definitions.

It doesn't matter what I have done in the past, for in being Catholic, all that we are, all that we have, all that we will ever be comes to fruition in the Kingdom of God. I am not a Saint. I am not an important personage. I am an average Catholic woman seeking holiness and mostly failing, but in that failure, I most learn who I really am and in that, I become more and more authentic, more and more human. It doesn't matter that I'm crusty and shy all at once, or that I'm snarking off one moment and weeping with contrition in the next. It doesn't matter that in some ways I'm strong while I give in to weakness in others, for, as a part of the Church, someone else makes up what I lack so that I can contribute where they cannot.

I am a woman of the Catholic Church. I am not oppressed, but free, and I am PROUD to be Catholic!

What else is there left to say?

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