Invitation to Vocation

Today I was doing hospitality at the morning Masses (four of them) as part of a ministry with which I'm involved at our parish.

After the last Mass, as we were cleaning up, one of our three priests and I were conversing about a few things. At some point, in response to something, Father asked me if I'd considered becoming a nun.

(smk, stop laughing!)

People, that is the FIRST time a priest has asked me that Question. And truth be told, I'm flattered, because that question from a priest means more than that question from any of the laity.

Why?

Because priests go through extensive discernment, they know how important that Question is, and I don't think any of them (that I know) ask it lightly. So I take it as a highest compliment. Please correct me if I am wrong to do so.

Just to be clear, I am not disparaging any of our other priests or any other priests I know for NOT asking that question of me. A couple years ago the topic had come up with them and I had revealed my discernment. Why bring it up again? They know that if I had questions, I would bring those questions to them. Discernment is not about hounding; it is about seeking God's will, and it is a highly mystical and personal thing. That, and they may be too polite to point out that there is no way God would choose someone like me.

(Tongue firmly implanted in cheek.)

So, that now behind us, I told Father that yes, I had considered it before, and I don't think I'm called.

"REALLY??!!???" He asked. There was actually a note of surprise in his tone.

In turn, I was surprised to hear that note. His genuine surprise told me that he had asked the Question in sincerity, and in that same sincerity, was surprised by my negative answer. As he seemed to be seeking an explanation, I told him that I had discerned, I don't see myself living in community, etc., and I thought that it was a closed door. At the same time, I admitted that every so often I see a Community on EWTN, either Brothers or Sisters, listen to their stories, learn of their apostolates, and I think, "Yeah, I could do that!"

I admitted to him that I'm conflicted, and I have NO IDEA where I belong or what God is asking of me.

This wonderful priest, who hails from war-torn Vietnam, who left as a refugee, said to me, "So you are lost!"

Father knows about being a refugee from first-hand experience, and I think that he sees many of we natural-born Americans as being spirtual refugees. He recognized me as one of them.

In so few words, he summed up my whole life and my entire discernment. I'm an emotional person, and in hearing that truth, I nearly burst into tears. (I didn't, but wanted to. It's so good to be understood!)

"YES! I'M COMPLETELY LOST!" I had to state this truth, because he knew it already.

He smiled, understanding my dilemma, acknowledging it's a hard place to be inhabiting, but he didn't offer any advice. I'm not sure any advice would be helpful; this is God's territory, no one else's. And this priest recognizes this.

I also told him about my book idea, he liked it, and agreed that for women, it's so hard to find a community, especially a faithful one. He agreed Vocations Directors, most of whom really want to help, have their hands tied. He also was very candid about the majority of women's religious communities who "kicked the habit" also kicked the Church out of their lives and have become pagan in practice and "theology." He even named local orders.

My respect for this priest has just grown in leaps and bounds. He's not afraid to call a spade a spade, and acknowledge evil where it exists.

As usual, you may be asking what is the point of all of this?

So I'll tell you...this post is mostly directed at priests. There are a few of you in my "audience", and you know who you are, even if I don't.

I'm not sure that Father's invitation to me really makes a difference or not, but I can tell you this; his invitation is a compliment. We, the faithful, especially those of us who are single, need direction. We need to be invited. Some singles have NOT considered all of our options, but the word of a priest we respect goes a very long ways. That goes for men and women both.

Maybe you wonder why; I'm certain they never taught you this in the seminary, so I'm happy to explain. The reality is this: you are our Spiritual Fathers, whether you are younger, the same age, or older than we are. You typically know more about the spiritual life than most of us do (I hope!), and you know all about discernment and how hard it is. You also know the power of the Invitation, the power of the Question because at some point, you experienced it.

I think you also have the ability to see those of us who are lost, and if you are unsure, please consider us to be lost until you find out otherwise. It's always wise to err on the side of caution, and I doubt you will ever offend anyone by asking them if they have considered God might be calling them to something. This does not just apply to religious life, but to other "every day" charisms as well.

(As an aside, if this question is offensive to them, you have another pastoral concern and you may want to consider calling an exorcist).

Seriously, you're in a wonderful position to serve as both the voice of God and as an anchor for those of us who could really use the help. Those of us who are faithful to the Church recognize your authority, we recognize the reality of your own sacrifice, and if you see something in us that speaks to the ability to offer the same tpe of sacrifice, it means a great deal. We look up to you, we WANT your advice, we appreciate your willingness to listen, to speak, and to guide. I'm certain you may feel incapable some of the time or even all of the time, but please know that God doesn't care what you feel; He cares that you take the time to recognize and invite.

Father's comments today have made a big impression on me, not so much for my sake but for the sake of others. I'll admit I may still be Called, even though I have doubts...in any case, it makes a huge difference when someone we see as a Spiritual Father is willing to extend that word of encouragement, for even if we are not Called, it means that Jesus is present in us, Jesus is using our hands, our voices, our very beings, to complete His work...and there is no greater encouragement than that.

Pastorally, if all you accomplish is a validation of our work and our value in the Church, then you have done your duty. Just as we are all meant to be Jesus' hands, we can also be your hands, and we all want to be useful and our work valued. Please, call us, ask us to offer our gifts, and validate our offerings, even if God has different designs on our lives.


Just a few things for priests (and anyone else who cares to answer) to consider:

* To whom to do you extend this Question? ie, what qualities?
* Do you focus only on men who may consider the priesthood, or do you consider other vocations (for men)?
* Do you actively invite women to discern religious life?
* Do you recommend men to consider a celibate vocation as non-ordained religious life?
* Being that I am a woman, and thus have an agenda, how can you help women discern and enter religious life? Do you have contacts? Do you care? Would you do all you could to help your spiritual daughters discern God's will?
* Again, coming from a faithful female perspective: what can and are you doing to encourage women to enter religious life and what advice can you give?
* Do you realize how important your Invitation is to women you know????