Blogging, Gossip, and True Intent

When I first began my blog, I was still a recent revert, and very sensitive towards dissent in the Church, that very dissent that had pulled me off the rails. I was angry, because I felt I had been deprived of the Truth for so long, and truth be told, I am still resentful, however, that resentment is abating. Why? Because God is good and he has brought a greater good out of my having fallen away.

Yet it was fresh in the beginning so I focused more on snarky topics condemning certain local practices and the like. Not a lot of people read me at the time, and as I've matured as a blogger, I've gotten away from that stuff and tend to focus on things more positive and spiritual.

My regular readers have become somewhat acquainted with me and my style, and I'm guessing they know I'm an opinionated person. However, I hope they also all realize that it has never been my purpose to defame, or gossip, or do any such thing. I will simply state an experience from my perspective, good or bad, but I pray that people see that ultimately, I am only providing a snapshot.

As I've started school again and will be continuing, God willing, I have also become more aware of citations, which, as some have noticed, have become more scholarly. If I have internet links, I like to use them but I'll admit that sometimes if I perceive that something is common knowledge, I get lazy and don't post the link, just summarize what I have to say. I shot myself in the foot with that one a couple times recently and got called on it. Not because of any issues with plagiarism, but rather because using a simple citation would have answered the concerns of some people who became offended at what I said, leading to a misunderstanding. A misunderstanding that could have been prevented thorough a couple minutes' work.

I also will admit that sometimes I am unclear in my intent, perhaps, in spite of my typical long-windedness, because I am again lazy and don't do a clear enough edit. Sometimes I have other things going on when I write and don't phrase things properly, and of course, if a key word is the wrong word, it severely can change the meaning and intent of a topic. And boy, was I deservedly taken to task for THAT error!

So I would like to humbly apologize for any hurt I may have caused at any time by my laziness in editing. I would like to request the forgivenss of those I have offended, and to please understand that I write from a total context that is not always clear in an individual post.

Sometimes I become so comfortable with my regular readers and commenters that I forget there are those out there who may happen by for the first time and have no idea where I'm coming from. Perhaps part of the standard in blogging is to remember that we never know who will be sent to us, who will happen by, and we must all consider what impression we will make.

I will confess to often being overly sensitive, and it is human nature to read into things or even grasp a particular thing within someone's work, then worry it to death. We are fallen creatures, and we can be easily offended. Because we are reading the written word apart from knowing the person who wrote those words, it's all too easy to depersonalize the author and become offended at his or her words. I have been guilty of that and I have made comments to other bloggers for which I now regret.

I have also been on the receiving end of such comments, and never fail to feel a sense of consternation that my words were taken badly, or somehow insulted someone, and I do try to repair that damage which was not intended.

There was a combox conversation in one of my older posts in which this was brought up; it is one of the dangers of the internet and email. We cannot see expressions, we cannot observe feelings and sentiments, and sometimes such things are impossible to convey by the written word. It's way too easy for all of us to both miscommunicate and to feel slighted or insulted when someone has simply misspoken.

In a live coversation, when someone mis-speaks, the question can be immediately addressed and corrected, and as we can see expression, we can observe sincerity, and even ill-intent. Not so in blogging and in other popular written media. And sometimes, even with a careful edit, some things are not caught and can lead to controversy. I've been on both sides of that and all too often I've been guilty of causing the offense.

Some time ago the Catholic Spirit, our diocesan paper, completely villified bloggers, making a blanket accusation of "gossip". I agree, blogging can be a form of gossip, but as it has been said before, our local Catholic bloggers and most, if not all, of the blogs on my link list have a high standard and work from a perspective of personal integrity. But we are all human and sometimes we err, and then it's time for damage control.

I think we all need to remember that even when someone posts something controversial, before we accuse, we should pray, question, and if there is truly an insult present, then we can address it appropriately in a charitable mannr. Perhaps we find that the person in question only misspoke, badly chose their words, and is ready and willing to correct the error. This goes not only for bloggers, but for commenters, for I do feel we truly enter into a conversation of sorts. But as it is in writing only, sometimes we forget that we are addressing a live person, someone with feelings, someone with sensitivities, and this can lead to a form of depersonalization and a denial of that person's dignity. If we don't use due care, conversations can deteriorate very quickly. People will say things to each other on the internet in chat rooms, discussion forums, and even in voice mail on the phone that they would never in a thousand years say to someone directly. Because we cannot see reactions, it is all too easy to spout off, and not realize that our words have consequences.

I had a lesson in that recently, and I deserved that lesson.

All that said, we are all also entitled to our opinions, and sometimes our legitimate opinions will be at odds with another person's opinions. I will continue to give my opinion on things, as I think we all will, and sometimes we will take each other's words personally. For example; if I say I can't stand the works of Marty Haugen and Andy Warhol, guaranteed there will be a fan of both who will come along and be personally offended at my condemnation of those persons' works. I will not change my opinion if I think something is trash. One of my pet peeves is bad church architecture, which I keep under wraps for the most part, for it is so common that if I let it get under my skin I'd never be able to go to Mass! Yet if I comment about such things in a negative manner, it should be understood from an impersonal context relating to a thing, not the people contained within the thing.

I think that we all have to remember, whether we are bloggers or whether we like to only surf blogs and articles and comment occasionally, we should all remember to be charitable, choose our words carefully, edit carefully, and consider how our words might be taken. It could be that a legitimate difference of opinion will cause offense; that can't be helped. In our world today, too many people are ready to cry "intolerance!" to quell actual discussion. We can all expect to be offended at one time or another, but our question should always be: is the offense actually intended?

I'm guilty of so much, but I do not go out of my way to cause offense. Please forgive my lack of tact which has been so apparent at times, and in turn, I will work harder to consider my words and how they impact others.

God bless you all.