"Nada te turbeSolo Dios basta.""Let nothing disturb you.God alone is enough."
Friday, October 16, 2009
One of the problems I find with studying Moral Theology is that it is so, so disheartening. In studying the Virtues, I realize how virtueless I truly am and how far I have to go. Yes, I am seeking holiness, but my failure become ever more clear.
This week in prayer I was pondering advice recently received in Confession, and heard that little voice of Jesus telling me quietly to stop being so overwhelmed by all of the knowledge I am gaining. What is really important, He said, is that I keep my eyes on Him. That little voice was entirely congruent with the advice received in Confession, and other advice from my Spiritual Director this week.
So I began to ponder that necessary gem; keeping my eyes on Christ. Him alone.
The Saints were experts in "living in the present moment." They sought to do God's will in all things, and how else could they have done so had they taken their eyes off of our Beloved Savior?
I realize how easy that sounds, but how hard it is to carry out. I've often awoken or renewed a promise during the day to "keep my eyes on Jesus" yet so quickly I am distracted and look away, falling from prayer, falling from tasks, all for whatever "shiny object" catches my attention. As if Jesus isn't enough, I have to go seeking other things!
And it is there I get lost. Falling away from prayer comes even before I take my eyes from Christ, I find, for without that anchor, I am set adrift to the whimsical winds of...whatever happens along.
It is disheartening to realize how often I choose sin over sanctity, but one of the important concepts in class revealed that this sense of being disheartened is a symptom of Pride. We are only dust; Jesus came because we do not have the ability to overcome our sin, so we should not be so surprised that we fall. Rather, the moment we realize we have slipped, we have to immediately look to Him to pick us up and set us back in place, there with Him.
This is not a denial of our own responsibility, but rather, a recognition of who we are and who God is, and an act of humility to know that we haven't the power to keep from sin...but God has the power to help us overcome it, if we but let him.
Yesterday we celebrated the Feast of St. Theresa of Avila, who wrote the famous words: