It's been an amazing weekend. Great people, a very diverse, but faithful group, and material that, through sheer volume, has turned my brain to mush. I was going to study tonight, or at least get a start, but I don't have it in me.
It doesn't help that this morning my automatic garage door mechanism was doing weird things and I am fearful that my car is now forever entrapped within it. It doesn't help that the last of my front door locks went kaput tonight. So, having bought the lock kit back in June when the first one went, I tried to replace them both. And realized I had no idea what I was doing. But my next-door neighbor who offered to help then, stepped forward tonight to give me the bad news about my garage door mechanism and changed my locks, even as his dinner cooked on his grill. Because, to him, it was more important that I be safe that it was for him to eat. God bless him. He also expressed to me that once he starts a job, he will finish it.
And I have to give credit to the Guardian Angels for their assistance. Because after about an hour and a half of his struggling with stubborn components, and although we were both begging Heaven for help, I went into the kitchen to have a heart-to-heart with the angels. I asked my Guardian Angel for help, and prayed to my neighbor's Guardian Angel...please help him with this lock! His family is calling him for dinner, he's been wonderful to help me, but I won't be able to sleep if I don't have a working deadbolt! I can't sleep with a hole in the door where the deadbolt is supposed to be, which would of course give anyone access to the thumblatch. Yeah....no one can sleep with that kind of security breech. Neither should anyone go without dinner with their family on a Sunday.
While I did not necessarily express anything but begging to the angels, the reasons were of course understoo. And lo and behold, as I returned to the livingroom where my neighbor worked so diligently, the parts had gone into their places and he was just finishing the job!
People, never fail to pray to your Guardian Angel. They are just WAITING to help us and can help with the simplest things in the simplest ways. Yes, they are big, fierce warriors, sent to help us all get to Heaven...but in the meantime when we aren't immediately beset by demons and temptation, they are thrilled to help with little jobs around the house if we but ask. (And you probably think I'm kidding).
Anyway, moving on from the trials of the day.....
My brain is mush. Is that what we are talking about? Oh, yes...freedom.
Our professor pointed out today that our society has a very poor "understanding" as to what "freedom" really is.
A common "expression" of what society refers to as "Freedom" is this:
I think I will smoke a cigarette...because I have the FREEDOM to do so! I think I will spend a bunch of money at the casino because I have the FREEDOM to do so.
Imagine that. If we go and have a cigarette, and then decide to have another...and another, because we have the "freedom" to do so, and make that free choice day after day, in a month, how free are we really to choose NOT to have the cigarette?
And if we go and blow some money at the casino, and win some, and then lose some...and because of the excitement, we decide to repeat the experience...over and over... Well, think about it. Over a period of time, especially if this behavior depletes ALL our reserves and the thrill of the gamble causes us to get into other types of gambling, higher stakes, perhaps to the degree we are losing the car and the house....is that freedom? When we are that far in the hole, how free are we now NOT to "play"?
As our professor observed, what kind of freedom destroys itself by our choosing of it?
A friend of mine once observed that she wished she'd never given up her virginity; because after saying "yes" once, it was that much harder, every time, to say "no" to someone else.
What a definition of slavery.
What kind of "freedom" enslaves us to it?
Examine your life. Examine your conscience. If you are having a difficult time NOT choosing something, perhaps it's time to realize what binds you from a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ. For as long as you are giving yourself to the master you have chosen from your concept of "freedom" you are not free to say "yes" to what God may be calling you to do.
Your passions and desires are supposed to be controlled by you...not the other way around.
So I echo the question presented in class to us today:
What kind of freedom is it, that if you act upon it, destroys itself and enslaves you to it?