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Saturday, February 06, 2010

Clavis Corde Jesu

Today at work, shortly after I arrived and while my computer was booting up, I *knew* I needed to head down to the chapel...or at least in that direction.  Surely enough, I saw in the copy room nearby a volunteer with whom I needed to speak, we had a wonderful conversation, and then, finally, I headed in to pray. Instead of going to the chapel, though, I stayed in the Church, opting to remain in the presence of Our Lord, enclosed in the tabernacle.

After praying Morning Prayer, as I stood and genuflected to say goodbye to Jesus, something about the tabernacle caught my attention. I stopped to look more closely and realized that the key had been left in the lock!

Knowing that it should not be there, I stood and carefully removed the key, then took it to the office as I wasn't exactly sure WHERE in the sacristy it belonged.  I had a guess but wanted to be certain so that the next time it was needed Father didn't have to tear the place apart looking for it!

After verifying the proper place for the key, I headed to the sacristy, where I found Father himself, who apparently needed it and before I arrived, did not know that it was "missing"! Happily I handed it over and verified where it should go should I ever find it in the same way ever again.

Key to God's House....and His Heart

I don't normally have the tabernacle key in my hand, I don't normally approach the residence of Our Lord, and today sensed it to be a great privilege to hold something so important. I realized that perhaps the desire to head to the chapel to pray in EXACTLY that time was in order to offer this exact service for Jesus and His entire Body, to defend against sacrilege.

And maybe something more.

The "feeling" of the key in my hand wouldn't leave me today; I knew the true weight of the key itself as being far more than its mere mass would indicate, and there is no way to explain this seeming dichotomy.

Today is a First Friday, a day set aside each month to honor the Sacred Heart of Jesus. As I went about my work I pondered His Most Sacred Heart and how He offers Himself so freely, and with such vulnerability to us in the Holy Eucharist.  I recalled the Miracle of Lanciano and the evidence that revealed it as heart tissue.  When we receive Holy Communion, we receive the very heart of Christ!  He gives us that great symbol, and more importantly, the REALITY of His own love and life, without which NONE of us could ever exist!

I recalled my plaintive prayer to Jesus from last summer as my plane landed in Hartford, CT. I had to wipe tears from my eyes again as I seem to continue to pray that same prayer to Him, one I can't seem to stop praying:  "Jesus, please don't break my heart."

He never has and never will, but I, of course, have broken His over and over again.  I can't seem to stop doing so, either. It becomes clear that even as I desire to offer everything, I still hold much in reserve, even as He quite literally offers His own Sacred Heart to me especially through the Most Blessed Sacrament!

Today, in an unexpected blessing, He entrusted me with the physical key to His heart.  Not just with Himself...but with the highly guarded key to that which we hold most Sacred.Even the Angels who adore Him and are always in His Presence are not given such an honor.

I can still feel the weight of that key in my palm and hear the echo of Jesus' own plea back to me:

"I trust you with MY heart....won't you trust Me with yours?"


Mandrivnyk said...

What a beautiful post - and thank God that you were there to find the key to the tabernacle.

In a lot of ways, yours is a sentiment I know well - the desire to give Him everything and yet... Sigh. It's such a terrible injustice to be unwilling to love Him anywhere near as much as He deserves.

Laura The Crazy Mama said...

This post made me think about this: What would happen if they took some of the blood from Lanciano and got stem cells from it? Hmmmmmmmmm...
I could think about that one for years and years.

Charlene said...

Wow! What a powerful, loving and thoughtful post, Adoro.It felt very much like a beautiful prayer. Thank you.

Abbey said...

As I read your words, I could only imagine that feeling that you had when you approached the tabernacle and removed the key for safekeeping of our Lord. You were truly blessed and your words bless me deeply, so I give thanks for you and your devotion.