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I wasn't going to do this, especially because it's Holy Week and we should all be solemn and sad and preparing our hearts for the Passion of Christ. And I won't in a thousand years suggest that you NOT do this. However, Fr. V. over at Adam's Ale has been a very bad influence on me and has triggered me to write one of my rare song parodies. He supplied the first two lines.
Q: Lord, who threw out these 40 days?
A: No one, they’re still here!
Q: But I thought Vatican II
Tossed all that we held dear!
Q: Father, the liturgist you hired
Put sand and rocks in fonts
And said that sacramentals
Are things that V2 lost.
She said that all the laity
Are all the priests we need!
She said that dancing in the aisles
Is required in the Creed!
Your Worship Director’s worse!
He covered up the Cross…
With a big ol' screen to praise the words
Of Haugen and Haas!
The travesties that we behold
Too much…I have a list!
Because I’ve read the Council’s words
And think that they’ve been dissed!
Can we restore these 40 days
And gaze upon the Cross?
We need to have a Triduum
To know that we’re so lost!
Where is the penitential rite?
Has that been sent away?
Can we be forgiven
Or is our church astray?
How can we know that Jesus died
For our souls to save
If we can’t see the crucifix
And sin has been denied.
Father restore these 40 days
To prepare us for these three:
We need the Holy Triduum
For our great salvation to see!
(NOTE: THIS IS VERY ROUGH AND SUBJECT TO CHANGE/ADDITIONS)
8 comments:
Nice! Too bad you couldn't have done a parody to a less dignified Lenten hymn, one that focuses on us instead of the Lord. I'm quite happy Lent is [almost] over to be freed from such monstrosities as In These Days of Lenten Journey. [Shudder]
Maybe I'll be inspired some more and parody those, too. :-)
I actually feel very guilty for writing a parody of this song because it's one of the good ones. So go blame Fr. V. :-)
To be honest, when I first encountered sand in the holy water fonts, it was a powerful moment for thought, like when we see a Corpus covered in purple cloth, or like when the altar is stripped and the Tabernacle is opened to show it is empty. Oh, God, nothing is more terrifying to me than that.
We snooze through so much. This sand business woke me up again to the value of our rebaptizing ourselves in His name. I could hardly wait for there to be water.. For those who could not be smited this way, the canister of holy water with its spigot was still over in the corner, as always. I've never seen anyone tap it. Uh, not even myself. hmm.. maybe this week I will get some for the little unused fonts here.
For the record, I love Haugen and Haas music. I am pretty sure they didn't set out to scandalize anyone with it. My only only only beef is that anyone sings during Holy Communion. We need quiet, then, and right up until the priest sits down.
And no one could top our Religious Ed director for mis-Catholicism. Well, maybe a non-Catholic could. But she was the one who undertook it, and put 20 or 30 hours into it every week. She showed up.
Am I taking a parody too seriously? Nah. I take willing division seriously. It goes against His own prayer for unity, on that sad night.
I'm glad that you got some benefit from the sand in the fonts, but please understand that this was NEVER called for in the Church, and in fact, it's completely theologically incorrect to do this. We do not fast and abstain from sacramentals; it's a penitential season, therefore we NEED our sacramentals. Holy Water grants us the remission of venial sins...why, in a penitential time would we ever want take away a source of real grace? But your experience goes to show that God will overcome bad theology any day. You happen to be a person well disposed to what God wants...as opposed to what the liturginazi wants.
Regarding Haugen-Haas...well, they're local. And while SOME of their compositions are OK, so much of it is "Feel good to be me!" and "Look at Us!" music that de-emphasizes the sacred and emphasizes the laity. Oh, and of course, their communion songs are atrociously about "bread" and "wine" and appear to be focusing on symbolic as opposed to the reality that now it is Christ present.
And their drivel is EVERYWHERE. I've been on the Liturgy Commission at my parish for 2 years...and we can't get our new director to so much as the Agnus Dei...she's in love with Haugen-Haas and most of her musical choices involve them and Joncas, the other part of the unholy trio.
Sorry if you like their music...I can't stand it and most of the time it makes me cringe.
I'm currently fighting the urge to start attending a different parish, the one we attend when at class. Their liturgy is the one described by the Vatican II document on the liturgy...as I compare that doc. to their actual Mass, I can SEE the elements in it. Latin indeed maintains a high place...we actually sung the Sanctus last month! Beautiful!
I leave that Mass transformed. I leave the Mass at my parish scratching at my ears, trying to get the sound of drivel out of them.
But I love our priests and there are other wonderful elements at my parish, so I just figure I'll suffer with Christ on this one.
It's because we are spoiled, that we have any dissatisfaction with any licit Mass. If we were at some cotside Mass offered in filth and degradation in the Holocaust, or in a Church in Africa wondering if any second the Hutus (/Tutsis.. or Janjaweed) would come, or in the catacombs, etc., we'd not give a rat's tookus whether anything's in Latin or if it's Traditional enough for our tastes. We would simply be grateful for any of it.
On Golgotha, there wasn't one ounce of beauty or peace except in the love and unity that was present. There was Gestas who had missed God entirely --right beside him!, and there was Dysmas who, rather, kept his eyes on Jesus the Sacrifice. Indeed, we choose which way to be crucified in this world, either for love, or with shrieks of malice.
I know that Traditionalists will argue whatever I say -- but the fact is, there was a very serious liturgical abuse in the old Latin rite: no one could understand a word of it! Who is the Mass for, just priests and altar boys and Trads and sedes? No. Heck if being language-correct is a biggie, then let's have all Masses and absolution, too, in Aramaic, Christ's own language. Latin IS a dead language. I love it, but I also love understanding the Mass.
Considering I've seen neo-Crusaders in this Catholicsphere violently shredding Popes as evil or as stupid or as dirt or as not Popes at all, I don't honor anyone's druthers about Mass anymore, including my own. It's gone too far. Have we traded in fraternal goodwill for a verbal Agnus Dei? (Oh yes, some have.) Now, I just take Mass as it comes, and indeed, if I don't like it, I am free to move around, but the Church is also us, and thus, we have a responsibility toward helping to reform whatever is truly askew.. but there are guidelines for doing so: with respect. Americans aren't used to doing anything with respect, but it's in New Testament (James, I think) as well as in the G.I.R.M.
Any liturgical or musical abuses can be worked with. It requires making an appointment and speaking face to face with a pastor (and/or choir director, etc) at whatever parish one has a hard time in. It may require speaking before the liturgy committee and the pastoral council, too. Fine, not a problem. We can do this, right?
Jesus gave us a new commandment, and He Himself asked us to be one as He and the Father are one. Are we? No. Why? Because we each have preferences; but we Catholics of every Rite and stripe who believe He is Real-ly and Substantially present have to at least try to find some way to give Christ a decent answer to His prayer. A Catholic one.
Wow, Just Me, what in the WORLD set you off on THAT track?
My goal in writing this little parody was to get it out of my head and poke a little fun at things that go on.
Your comment is EXACTLY the reason I rarely write about liturgy or liturgical abuses - because people get so emotional about it.
(And by the way, I'm not a rad trad. You're preaching to the choir.)
HA!
Isn't horrible when something like this gets stuck in your mind and you can't let it go until you share it. (Joy is what it is!)
By the by - I like - but am still not use to your "Sound track". I starts with the bells ringing and I sit here confused as to why the church bells are rigning until I realize, again, it is the computer!
LOL! Stabat Mater with the church bells occasionally confuses me, too!
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