Visitors - Come on in and say hello!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Jesus Died for You

This morning I was feeling quit dejected and frustrated. It's been a difficult week, and the worst part about it is that I haven't handled it well. I've been awful, and I can't wait to get to Confession so that I can get rid of all this "yuck" that encases me.  

And yet, I'm also dreading Confession. I know what I deserve, and I know I need to confront myself before God, honestly, without reserve, and it's never a pleasant experiece to recognize how holy I'm NOT.  

Until I get there, though, I feel, spiritually, almost physically, like Pig Pen in the "Peanuts" comics; I'm all dirty and I've got a nasty smelly cloud surrounding me, and everything I touch is soiled, too.
Sin does that. Nothing is hidden. God sees all, knows all. And all we have to do is come to Him and ask for forgiveness, because we agree, too, that we've sinned. 

I had to  take a quick run to the store this morning, and en route, I was mentally reviewing my week, hating the sense of being so soiled.  My own sin was weighing heavily upon me, and truth be told, still does. As it should; I'm in need of sacramental healing. I need to hear the words of absolution.  

Then I passed a church, and happened to glance at the sign adjacent to the road.  The words were simple, but they were just for me, in that moment: 

"Jesus Died for You" 

Simply stated. 

I mentally stopped my torturous mental inventory and focused on that one all-important Truth:  Jesus died for me. 

He saw me from even before His conception, and still willingly chose to be conceived and suffer this life. He took me upon his shoulders when He entered the waters of the Jordan, giving His very conscious fiat to God and to us. He saw me in the Garden of Gethsemane, and sweated blood in order to take on my just punishment.  He saw me as He was scourged at the pillar, and met my sin head-on, gazing at me with compassion, even as His flesh was visciously stripped from Him. He saw me when He was crowned with thorns, and uttered not a word of protest, taking my own rebellion into His own skin, letting it rip His own flesh. He saw me when He carried His cross, and did not condemn me, for He was suffering that I might not be condemned. And He took the nails meant for me into his own hands and feet, and died so that I would not suffer the eternal agony to which I have deserved time and time again.

He took on my sin. He saw everything, and still died...for me.  He became accursed...for me. 

Jesus died for me. 

It matters that I've sinned, and it's important that I accuse myself before God, and to the priest, of my sin in the Sacrament of Confession. It's important that I keep the suffering face of Christ before me, remembering His uncondemning gaze, so that as I accuse myself, I remember what matters even more; that Jesus died for me.  

Over and over again, I consider these words, and realize how much I need to remember them, how much I need to focus on them, especially when considering knowledge of my own personal responsibility. There is nothing we can do that will cause God to not love us anymore.  He saw everything, and went to the cross without protest, because it was the only way to expiate our sin. We can't do it ourselves. 

We need to depend on Him. 

And the more I go to Confession, the more I understand my sorrowful condition.  With a deepened understanding of my own wretched propensity towards sin, the more I love God. And the more I love God, the more I hate my sin, and the more I understand the suffering of Our Lord.

And the more I understand His suffering...the more I understand what real love is all about.  

Thank you, Jesus. 


Mrs Doyle said...


You must have read my mind! I've been feeling yuck all week too. It's a mixture of lots of things at the moment, the horrible fires (i just get a sick sensation in my stomach when I smell that smoke), as well as an upcoming exam and various changes here and there and just overall being tired with the hot weather recently!

I needed to remember how much Our Lord loves each and everyone of us. Nothing else matters if we remember that.
I'm praying that with Easter coming up I can truly participate on the journey to Calvary and offer up my earthly troubles in order to come to a new realisation of God's love for us.

Sometimes these words just wash over us, but I have needed to contemplate this recently, to be able to put everything into perspective and not worry that I'm just going crazy in the head!

Thanks and God love you (as Bishop Sheen would say!)

NC Conch said...

A week from today I will help 180 or so little angels celebrate their 1st Reconciliation. It will be a celebration. I use the illustration of a present sloppily wrapped and dirty - with props. It is still a present and what is in it is still wonderful and special. It just needs to look better before we give it away. It needs to look like it did when it was given to us. I will take out a very nicely wrapped (not by me) present. It is perfect - as far as presents go. I will then take out a big basket of bows. After their confession and they pray or pray about their penance, they take two bows. One for the present (to Baby Jesus) and one to put on them - over their heart - because they area gift to Jesus.

Julie you are a gift from Baby Jesus. Sometimes your wrapping my be a little rumpled, but you are still a wonderful gift.

Peace and love,