It's been a weird weekend. I'm sick, Mom's REALLY sick, and this morning at Mass I could not stop my mind from wandering. The subject of my wandering mind? Mom's funeral planning. How to pay for the cemetary plot, where she'll be buried, how my brother and I will handle this, etc. And of course, I'm certain a particular uncle would step in; that seems to be his role in a crisis.
I nearly burst into tears during the homily; not because of what the good Deacon was saying, (his homily was good, but not touching), but because my distraction was too much for me. Somehow I managed to focus on what he was saying, but I can't honestly say I prayed much during Mass.
I wish I'd known before Mass that the priest had been in to see Mom; that would have been a huge weight off my mind.
Anyway, I feel better about things but we still have a huge diagnosis looming, and that scares me.
All day I've been trying to work on my papers. I took a break to watch the Birds of Prey Downhill from Beaver Creek, CO, which was awesome. And then back to work. I have a page and a paragraph on the Spirituality paper, and my Synthetic paper for Old Testament is, shall we say...going nowhere. I can't seem to make the connections, am just completely lost. This might as well be chemistry.
Then I gave up in favor of cooking dinner; Tuna Casserole with potato chip topping. It was a favorite growing up, and maybe the first thing I ever learned how to cook. Of course, I haven't made it in so many years I forgot how, so had to look up a recipe for it.
Amazing. I can make soups, I can grill salmon to die for, but I can't make Tuna Casserole. (Or "Hotdish" for my other midwestern compatriots).
It's edible, certainly, but the noodles are overcooked, the "sauce" is too thick so the total is a bit dry, and ironically, I didn't put enough chips on top.
If Jesus came to my door and asked for dinner, I would most certainly NOT give Him this. * sigh *
I'll eat it though. It's cheap and edible...and for now, that's enough.
11 comments:
I love tuna casserole. Sometimes there's nothing like comfort food.
Still praying for your Mom. We'll hope you don't have to plan any funerals for a long time. My mother-in-law has survived two bowel obstructions, and she turned 92 today. Not making light of the situation, just saying that it is successfully treated much of the time. (I'm a fine one to talk; every time I have any kind of medical tests I'm choosing funeral music until the results come back.)
Take care, and may Our Lord protect your mother.
Tuna casserole is an art form. Time before last mine was too dry. Adding mayo helps.
We're all praying for you and your Mom.
Still praying for your mom.
I love "Hot-dish"! :-)
If I wasn't going to be a dyed-in-the-wool Canadian, I think I'd be a Minnesotan instead. :-)
It's not just the hot-dish. It's the freezing cold, and the bugs, and the fact that everybody fishes, and has a boat, and a little summer place. And Hunting and Hockey and Beer. And flannel shirts. I'll forgive you all for that Mall of America thing, though only just barely. :-)
W
Adoro: Don't despair, dear friend. Also, don't beat yourself up. Distraction is normal during a trying time. I fight distraction regularly! At least you recognized it as such and fought it.
I have to agree with the last comment.
You're both in our prayers.
:(
Try offering your distractions as gift to God. I used to do that when I was really distracted. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.
If you can't offer Jesus bad tuna casserole, then you can't offer him your best fillet of sole either. He wants it all.
That is the mark of a true disciple, one who is willing to give all as gift. He will transform it all. Romans 8:28 (all things work for good for those who love the lord and are called according to his purpose) even bad tuna casserole.
maybe the good is to keep you humble.
I agree with Angelmeg here--when you're distracted because you're legitimately worried about yoour mother, give it to God. Ask for faith. What better place to do that than during Mass?
I'll bet Jesus would eat your tuna hotdish and say it is delicious. :)
Hang in there. Prayers continue.
Thanks, everyone, although I can't honestly say I recognized or "fought" the distraction. I pretty much just let my mind wander with an occasional comment to God thrown in.
And of course, the "Thy will be done". My education thus far has at least emphasized that.
I'd only give this hotdish to Jesus if he was really that hungry, and of course he would say it's delicious...Jesus is like that. :-)
I have to call it "food I wouldn't serve Jesus" because I know if I would give it to Him, I could give it to anyone. If I can't give it to Him, I certainly wouldn't want to serve it at, say, a soup kitchen. You see where I'm going with this....
Prayers still coming.
Sending my guardian angel to you today.
Hugs, AM
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