Visitors - Come on in and say hello!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall...

22 And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out, "Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! My daughter is tormented by a demon."

23 But he did not say a word in answer to her. His disciples came and asked him, "Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us."

24 He said in reply, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

25 But the woman came and did him homage, saying, "Lord, help me."

26 He said in reply, "It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs."

27 She said, "Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters."

28 Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish."

I have often been puzzled about this verse. Why did Jesus call this poor woman a dog? His behavior simply doesn't seem to mesh with what we know about Jesus; why is he rebuking this pleading woman who is only seeking mercy for her beloved daughter?

Recently I recieved some insight into this when listening to a CD from a Bible Conference I attended last summer. And I have come to realize that Jesus has been calling me a dog for a very long time.

If we really LOOK at that verse, we see that this Caananite woman has come to Jesus, in faith and trust, begging for help for her daughter. Jesus calls her a dog! Yet she remains. Why does she remain?

Because this is not really a rebuke. Jesus is testing her; he is explaining his mission, that to the House of Israel, but notice he has not told her to go away! She seems to understand this, although his words must have punctured her heart and soul with a thousand arrows. Yet she remained, pleading on her knees, refusing to take "no" for an answer. Rather than running away, she followed and did him homage.

And what was Jesus's response? Read it again:

28 Then Jesus said to her in reply, "O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish."

He's THRILLED! Jesus has seemed to reject her, but she persists, continuing to believe in spite of such a seeming insult. And as Jesus was wont to do, he was really inviting her to go deeper, to persevere in her faith; He did not want her to leave, only to understand FOR HER OWN VERY SOUL what she was asking him to do and what she BELIEVED he could do. Jesus knew he could heal her daughter and free her from the demons. But the woman must have been lacking in something to be tested in such a way. And she let her love for her daughter and the faith obtained through grace overcome what may have been her shame at being rejected.

Because she had faith, she grasped it with the tenacity of a dog, and she would not let Jesus turn her down.

And by Jesus' word, it was done.

I've been grasping this Gospel lately, myself, realizing that I'm just a dog begging for scraps from the Master's table.

I'm at the end of my rope at work. On Thursday, I nearly gave immediate notice and walked out; the only thing that saved me, ironically, was my dogs and the mortgage. I can't go around letting my frustration write resignation letters I can't afford to write. And so I remained. And still I remain, still begging the Lord for Mercy, for direction, for new and fruitful employment.

I know that my gifts are not a match for my current job and I know that I have no future with this company. Nor do I want a future here. And we know there is a systematic problem when the other THREE team members ALSO are desperate to walk off the job.

Because it comes down to the fact that our Manager is not hearing us, and Management in general in this company isn't hearing us nor do they want to; they are too focused on "the bottom line". They are too focused on "profit", and whenever someone complains about workload, the pressure, the stress, they offer trite platitudes about the end of the year profit-sharing and the money to be made by each individual.

I'm starting to wonder if they are Communists parading as Capitalists. And neither, in their pure form, is good.

I don't care if they were to offer me $10,000 more annually...I can't keep this up. I can't continue to go to work with my stomach in knots, my heart in my throat, and my pulses racing. I can't continue to take the whips and stings of a workload that becomes more and more burdensome, or a double standard that forces my unit to take excess work from other less specialized units, while they refuse to help us when we're so far overloaded. They use "numbers" to measure "productivity", and forget that the numbers aren't accurate for there's a lot of work yet to be done on issues that have been closed out. Nothing is really closed, and I have hours of work to do on a number they can't even see in their paltry system.

Not to mention the hours of work that comes without credit from our outstate counterparts who consistently get less measurable work, have stellar performance, make more money...we do their work and we don't get the credit for it. It doesn't measure into our "numbers" in our Metro office.

I can't continue to work for a company that has forgotten that without their employees, there is no company.

And yet, I can't find another job. I can't even figure out what I want to do, but for those careers for which I am not qualified because further education is required. (Which I am seeking, as you know).

All I'm really begging for is scraps from the Master's table; I'm not looking to get rich, I'm not looking for prestige, definitely not management, only to be able to pay those bills I have to pay to keep a roof over my head and the internet connection working! I'm asking for a job that I can go to in peace; not expecting perfection for we will not find Eden here, but there is more to life than the stress caused by bad employment. No matter how much we are paid. And although the money is decent, it's not enough for what it takes out of us.

When out legitimate complaints are deflected, downplayed, or outright rejected by Management, then it's time to abandon ship. Will someone please send a lifeboat? Mass exodus from the Titanic that is my company is in need of lifeboats and personal floatation devices. I'm not the only one.

So I am saying a prayer each day, now, from the depths of my soul, begging for mercy, reminding the Lord that I may be only a dog, but even dogs receive the scraps from the Master's table.

And I am praying that if I persevere with faith in the face of the silent rebuke which has so far met my tearful pleas, maybe Jesus will FINALLY say,

"O Woman, great is thy faith! Let it be done for you as you wish."

Should the Lord answer this prayer, you will all be the first to know. For I am now doing what the woman in scripture did...I am approaching Jesus publicly in the face of his rebuke, (2 1/2 year's worth) accepting the title of "dog", and I will follow him to the ends of the earth in order to obtain the answer to this prayer...and I will not take "No" for an answer.

Help me, Lord. I am only begging for some scraps.


Anonymous said...

I know I don't know what your job is, or what the job market is like there..... but why can't you get another job? If I hated my job that much I would be applying for other positions.... Or I would be simplifying my life to reduce my costs so I didn't need that job.

HeyJules said...

Boy, do I know how you feel. I, too, am caught in the numbers game. They look at how many "productive" hours I have and wonder what the problem is. Did the lightbulbs and office supplies get ordered by themselves? Did the server get repaired or the cleaning company called by themselves? No...I don't think so.

Although I don't quite have the stress level you do I know exactly where you're coming from and it stinks.

Adoro said...

Kiwi ~ I didn't want to go into detail about my job itself as in what I do, so suffice to say I'm in the Insurance industry. And although I've been looking for a job for some time now, but the only stuff that comes up is more of the same or other financial/business positions. I am NOT a business person. I'm definitely more of a governmnent/social services person; that's where my gifts are. But I'm completely stuck; I've been in my current field for so long that my prior experience is almost irrelevant to today's job market. I could make a case for Case Management, but it's pretty weak in the eyes of employers. And if I quit, sure I could get a job, but the mortgage, Association fee, and car payment alone prevent me from "simplifying". If I "simplify", then that means only getting rid of the cable bill because the rest is heat, electricity, water, etc...things you can't just cut out. I could sell my house, but it's a terrible market and I literally can't kennel one of my dogs; she's an escape artist...which means that I'd have to be nearby to show the house and be able to take my dogs somewhere when the realtor comes through. And the dogs...well, not a lot of apartments allow them, and those that do cost around what I'm already paying per month!

This is a job for God alone. Only HE can get me out of this hole I'm in. :-(

HeyJules ~ Amazing when management doesn't get it, isn't it?

Please pray for me, and for my co-workers. We have nothing against hard work; we are asking for reasonable work. Our jobs do not define us for we all have lives outside of our careers, and only work to pay the bills. The stress we are subject to is ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

Adoro - praying for you. We will start that novena either today or tomorrow, ok!

Anonymous said...


Keep up the prayers and the faith that Jesus will come through. My husband was in a similar situation for 7 years and finally he is in his dream job! The pressure in his two previous jobs was tremendous. The first job finally sold out after 5 years and laid him off and he got a WORSE job with half the pay and twice the work because he was desperate to feed his wife and 4 kids. I understand where you are coming from because he sent out 10 resumes each week for two years and didn't get a call until the Lord had the perfect job--he now teaches English at a small college and they are allowing him to work on his PHD simultaneously. We hope one day that he might get a job at an orthodox Catholic college, but we will go where Jesus leads us!

It took seven years (really even longer than that) of serious prayer and petition. God's timing is not our own. Just know that He wants the best for you!

Love, Suzanne

Adoro said...

Thank you, Suzanne. I just wish God's timing was a little more in line with mine! (How's THAT for presumption! LOL). Seriously, though, I keep praying "Thy will be done", so I know if I"m still here, it's His will, but at the same time, I know that I have to take action, too. Maybe the only action I'm supposed to take is in prayer; I can't get my resume out because I can't find anything I'm qualified for, other than more of the same. ANd if I go to more of the same, it could be even worse at less I'm stuck.

But I do trust in God...I'm just begging for mercy!

I appreciate all the prayers!