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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Vocational Advice Married People Need

MEN:

Before criticizing your wife's faults, remember she could have married Jesus and laid down her life in an offering of love, praying for your eternal salvation with every breath she takes. Nothing is more intimate and worthy than that kind of sacrifice.

WOMEN:
 Before criticizing your husband's faults, remember that he might have become a Priest in an offering of love and saved your soul through the Sacraments. Nothing is more intimate and worthy than that kind of sacrifice.

MEN and WOMEN:

You BOTH settled for a paltry, worthless [if you don't understand the sacrifice it symbolizes] ring, and an even more worthless "unity candle" (if you used this stupid symbol) taking Eternal Vows to lay down your lives FOR GOD and TO EACH OTHER in the Name of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and nothing is more intimate and worthy than that kind of sacrifice, and nothing else lays the foundation for other Vocations.  What? Do you think Priests and Religious drop in a hailstorm, flow down the Nile and end up in the local school teaching your kids about Salvation?

Get over yourselves and stop your bitchin' about each other.  We children of divorce are tired of hearing about your tiresome adolescent angst. What, are you still 13?

Grow up!

If you're not called to the Holy Vocation of Marriage, don't have sex (ever!) and don't take the Vows of Marriage! If you're already married, you made a decision and a Vow before God and you are Called, formally, to GETTING EACH OTHER TO HEAVEN!

Stop whining!  It was your bed; lie down in it and either have children or live a celibate marriage, but stop making the rest of us suffer for your adolescently-inspired decisions.

And don't scream at me in the combox for slapping your hands.

You're lucky I don't slap something else with something much harder!

That's all I have to say about that. My divorced mother and deceased father would approve. And before you accuse me of being a hypocrite, please let me invite all fellow hypocrites such as yourself to Mass with me this weekend; there's always enough room in the pew for one more!

7 comments:

Owen said...

Well.OK.

So,we arrove at 27 years tomorrow.

My advise were I asked to give it would be "communication, affirmation, repetition" and to that I might add a gracious and humble heart.

Erika said...

I like this. I got married last year, and our deacon said that unity candles were "not allowed" in our parish and that they were a "Protestant thing." Let them keep them, I say- always thought they were cheesy. How can that compare to receiving the Holy Eucharist for the first time as a married couple? Not at all!

nazareth priest said...

Oh, beloved Adoro, a hug and (celibate) kiss...from the JR Terrier (although he's not very celibate, I'm afraid...just too enthusiastic about "kisses"...but I digress)
A Marriage Prep talk in the "making"...can you come and give my talk at the next one???
Really.
Adrienne von Speyr said that any complete vow (in religious life, priesthood or marriage) involved embracing the Cross.
Yep.
'nuf said.

Adoro said...

Oh, Father, any time! Can I get fiery? I'd run EVERYTHING past you before giving the talk!

Adoro said...

OH, yeah, and Father, my last contact with your JR Terrier went from being friendly to him attacking my shirt and ripping it! LOL! I'm glad it wasn't my face!

You have your hands full with that bundle of fur!

Mom with a Heart for God said...

This is so true. We married couples can use this vocational advice.

Melody K said...

We just celebrated 38 years last month. Been so long I don't even remember if we had a unity candle. We're still wearing the rings, though; a little bit scuffed up, kind of like us.