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Wednesday, December 27, 2006

How Can I Keep From Cringing?

Sung to the tune of "How Can I Keep from Singing"

I went to Mass on Christmas Eve
In hopes the choir was singing
But who should be there in that place
But a rock band loudly braying

Through all the tumult and the strife
I wished ‘twere music ringing
But in its place were beating drums
How can I keep from cringing?

While though the tempest loudly roars
Through loud guitars and riffs
I wished the silence ‘round me close;
And songs of Silent Night and Christmas

No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to true prayer I’m clinging
But when a rock band jams at Mass
How can I keep from cringing?

When the altar trembles at the quake
Caused by decibels of drumbeats
When decorations start to fall;
How can I keep from cringing?

No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to true prayer I’m clinging
But when a rock band jams at Mass
How can I keep from cringing?

The Mass went on as endless sound
Above my lamentations
The cymbals threw me to the floor
How can I keep from cringing?

How can I keep from cringing?



(Sorry so rusty, first parody I've written in a very long time. Further editing likely)

6 comments:

Cathy_of_Alex said...

Adoro: Hey, this is REALLY good! So good, I'm going to give it a shout out on my blog!

Ray from MN said...

More, Maestro!

That is great, Adoro!

Georgette said...

Omygosh! this EXACTLY describes the music at EVERY Mass here in India! Not a single Christmas carol to be heard, but acckkk... the screachy guitars!

Ma Beck said...

Yowza.
I hope that wasn't your personal experience.
:)

Adoro Te Devote said...

georgette ~ Isn't India a very "charismatic" place? (I know a charismatic priest, Vicar General, for Kerala, I think? Spent a few years at our parish here.). Where are you in India?

We at least had the Christmas Carols...unfortunately, the Gloria opened with guitar riffs for Bryan Adam's "Summer of 69".. I literally thought I was going to die.

And Ma Beck...yup. Check a few posts back. It WAS my experience.

I used to be fairly neutral about LifeTeen. More of a "to each their own", but now that I've had to experience it...well, I see no need to Protestantize the Mass and think this music belongs....not at Mass.

Class factotum said...

I'd be happy to "Protestantize" the music at Mass, as almost every Protestant service I have been to in the past few years (Baptist, Church of Christ, Episcopal, Presbyterian and Lutheran) has had good, traditional hymns. Seems like they kept the good music at the Reformation and we got stuck with the Marty Haugen stinkers and the rest of the c*** in "Gather."