The August 2008 Siege of Orissa

All the "rage" locally is with regard to the coming political convention. And yes, it's important, it's an election year. And the local "anarchists" are being arrested and there's a great deal of outrage about it, claiming the police are abusing their civil rights.

But has anyone been reading Catholic news? Why hasn't the media been covering the horrible-beyond-words violence in Orissa, where the Hindu extremists are running about gang-raping nuns in public, burning young women and priests alive, and torching everything they run across that happens to be Christian.

All this while their police look on and do nothing to stop it. Quite literally, the police stood and watched while "groups of Hindu extremists" gang-raped a nun. I have been reading Catholic and Christian news services, but their articles are rarely, if ever, carried in secular venues. And I've been horrified beyond horror at what's been happening...and the resounding silence of TV has made it even worse.

Thanks to Terry at Abbey-Roads2, I have found a new blog to watch, Orissa Burning. Get the REAL info, the stuff the media won't bother to cover. Why should they? It's not happening here in the US, and of course, it's not as if this country isn't made up of people from other nations, some of whom are Indian. So it's not as if this kind of violence affects US! Oh, no!

WHY ISN'T THIS VIOLENCE BEING SHOWN THROUGH THE SECULAR MEDIA??!

You and I know darned well that if it were Christians doing these things, the media would be ALL OVER IT! But NO! Because it's Hindus. They must be a protected class...they can do what they want, burn people alive, destroy orphanages, and rape nuns, but apparently this isn't newsworthy.

We have a couple of Sisters from India at my parish, and this morning at Mass, considering the violence in India, I began crying, trying to understand why God allows this. Yes, I know the theology, but I can't figure out how He could allow His Brides to be so violated by so many men, so violently. I can understand why He allows violent persecution...the same thing happened to early Christianity, and has continued to happen throughout history. Christians were brutally murdered, and we know that the blood of the martyrs were the seeds of the Church. And we know that in places where our Faith is so violently persecuted, it also grows very strong.

But GANG RAPE? I can't imagine anything worse. I'd rather be burned alive, flayed alive...anything but THAT! Do you see what a horrible violence that is? It's not just invading one's most intimate and private parts...it damages the soul. Women who have experienced rape experience a trauma unlike that of any other. It's not being beaten, or a broken bone, or even cancer. It's rape. It's the closest thing to Hell on this earth. There is NOTHING more awful. There aren't words in ANY language to describe the horrors of rape.

And for this unspeakable crime to be suffered by the most innocent of people....I have only tears, for words can't convey the depth of suffering. Words are trite.

And in Orissa, it's even worse and "just rape"...for those who are supposed to be there to protect them are standing there in their badges and looking on, unconcerned at the physical, sexual, and spiritual violence being done before their very eyes. One article speaks about how a priest, apprehended by the mob, was ordered to "have sex with" the Sister, because they claimed, "priests and nuns do it!"

It seems he continued to refuse and continued to be beaten even more in lieu of visiting this deepest and most atrocious violence upon someone who was likely a friend. How awful for them both, how he must have been trying to avert his eyes, how she must have stood there, probably naked or nearly so, covered in slime, violated, humiliated to her very soul...

And we hear very little, if anything, about it in the secular media.

If this was happening in the US, if even for an hour, it would be all over the international media outlets. It would be quashed.

But because it's India, it's apparently unimportant.

The truly sad thing is...this kind of violence is happening in other countries as well, perhaps more quietly. But we don't hear a lot about the Sudan, either, and this kind of violence has continued to happen there for YEARS.

Please pray for our brothers and sisters in India, and throughout the world. This HAS to end!

As we go about our daily lives here in the U.S., we practice our faith, we celebrate Labor Day, we sport images of our faith on our cars, on the windows of our homes, on the jewelry we wear, and in the words we proclaim. And we are safe. And although I am a woman living alone, I can't say I particularly fear that a gang of extremists will happen upon me and attack me. As I write, my home is wide open to admit the breeze...and I am not afraid.

I have done nothing to merit this safety. My sisters are being violated, and even though by our country's standards I consider myself to be poor, I have more than I need, including an expectation of safety. A presumption of safety.

They don't have that in Orissa. They are fleeing to the jungles, they are hiding out, they are suffering in ways we can't imagine...and as a country, as Catholics...we're ignoring them.

In India, such transparency that we enjoy in our practice of Christianity isn't just a physical death sentence...for women, it places us in a position to be gang-raped by violent extremists.

I thank God I'm in America...and I pray to God that those women who have given their lives to Him, and the violence done to them converts the very mobs that have done so much to destroy them, body and soul.

*

I can write no more about this...the tears won't allow it.

Blessed Mother Teresa- my first portrait

When Mother Teresa died in 1997, I was working nights and with nothing much to do, I rediscovered my love of art. I had never been able to take a serious art class so I didn't have much to work with, so I could only call upon the very basic mediums with which I was familiar; pen and ink, and charcoals/pastels.

In 8th grade art class, the teacher recognized that I had a certain ability and he wanted me to develop it further, and I'll admit that his encouragement remains valuaable to me even today. Sometimes we don't know that we have certain gifts unless someone actually sees that spark and asks us to take it further, perhaps coaxing it into a flame.

Well, my sights were set on studying Spanish, so I studied that, to the detriment of the art which remained an innate part of my soul. I don't regret studying Spanish; rather, I wish that there had been other, greater opportunities to study art more seriously and in greater depth.

I was never good at portraits and I didn't like having to work from the models and modes they suggested; I felt hampered by it. For example, in order to draw a face, we'd have to use a ruler to draw the lines where the eyes would be, where the nose would be, etc. I struggled and struggled with this. I was able to do well in capturing the shape of someone's jaw, but the "line" method actually seemed to hinder me from seeing and replicating what was there in front of me. I'll never know why that is because this is a great method for drawing portraits. But when I began to do portraits, I began with whatever line happened to stand out to me, usually the line of the brow.

So when I was rediscovering my apptitude for art, I also happened to be struggling to come back to my faith. Mother Teresa had long captured my imagination and my respect; such a small woman, such a large faith! I knew people who had gone to India and they'd actually been able to meet her, and through that were transformed.

When she died, I suffered real grief, realizing that I would never meet the saintly woman; she had left for eternity.

Point to make about artists; we express ourselves through art. We take the grief, the joy, whatever emotion happens to have fallen upon us, and we translate that into our chosen mediums. At that time, I was suddenly hit with an inspiration to draw Mother Teresa.

There were some photographs of her in a biography I was reading, and so I opened the book and began, painstakingly, to try to capture the essence that was Mother Teresa. I fell in love with her all over again as I drew the picture below, capturing the line of her brow, the wrinkles that made up her face, her care-worn hands. Through such an intense study of her physical appearance, she came alive at the tip of my pencil, and I began to truly see the wonder of the design of humanity. As I drew her, I also drew closer to God, in complete wonderment realizing that as I reproduced every single wrinkle and the curvature of her fingers in prayer, that God knew of each and every wrinkle, had designed each and every bone that made up her structure, and He knew her deeply beyond the face and the veil that so captivated the world.

And I realized that if He could know Mother Teresa so deeply and personally, then He also knew ME that deeply and personally. So I continued drawing with a newfound joy, and when I thought I was done, I realized that I had not finished the picture; there was room for a second image, resulting from the first, and in the end, the first image actually AROSE from the second.


I was struck today by this image; Mother Teresa was who she was because of prayer; it was prayer and union with God that transformed her from a simple, everyday woman to the spiritual giant she became, and the strength she provided in her very presence. She absolutely RADIATED Jesus Christ. Now, when I look at this image, I realize that we are ALL called to do what she did; we are all called to give ourselves utterly to God, which can only be done through deep conversation with God in prayer, and through the Sacraments, and allow Him to live through us.


Blessed Mother Teresa, Pray for us.

VOCATIONS

First of all, I'd like to dispel some myths.

There's not so much a crisis in Vocations as there is a crisis in Catechesis. Those are two very different things, and those realities are bourne out very practically. For example, it is those parishes that are all about "Social Justice" divorced from Morality, Tradition, and Obedience, that are crying out about this "crisis." They are crying because they can only see what is in their own backyard because they have shut out the light that is the Truth. Their "solution" is "married priests", "women priests" and varying innovative liturgies and "theologies" such as "eco-spirituality" and other nonsense.

Then there are those parishes that are Faithful, bother to teach the Faith LINKED to Morality, emphasize the Sacraments...and in those parishes, Vocations are RISING. It is reality. And the contrast leaves nothing to debate.

I began this blog while I was discerning a call to religious life. This call occurred first in Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, completely freaked me out, but made me take a very deep look at my faith, the reality of the Church, and my place within her. It was people I knew who came to me to reinforce this call and the need to discern, and I thank God for them.

But there is a problem, even in the faithful parishes.

We tend to ignore or minimize Vocations for women to the religious life.

I hear and read FAR more about dissident women seeking an ordination of power they will never have, than I do about women who are hearing the call to live as Spouses of Christ in faithful acceptance and obedience.

When I was discerning, while I recieved a great deal of support from the people in the Charismatic prayer group I was involved with at the time, (for the record, they would have put the quabash on any Community that was without a habit and that subscribed to anything other than faithful orthodoxy), and those priests I knew were also supportive...in prayer. What else could they do?

I was blessed with a Spiritual Director at the time, and I told him of my discernment over the phone...I think he was more surprised than anyone else. (You have NO IDEA what a mess I was...). We discussed it upon our next meeting. I'm certain he knew what the outcome would be (NOT CALLED), but he was gracious and knew I had to follow this path. He had been a Vocations Director in his home parish in India (is now a "Monsignor" and the Vicar General), and told me I had to go that route, and do what I was told.

So I called our Vocations Director, set up an appointment, and had a meeting with him on a very hot June day a couple years ago. Our meeting took place on the campus of the University of St. Thomas, and since he was late, by necessity and desire, I spent some time in the chapel where the Blessed Sacrament was reserved, and had one of the most powerful moments of my life, during which I realized that my very words had been spoken by so many others before me for centuries.

"Jesus, I offer you everything I am, everything I was, and everything I will ever be."

I don't know where the prayer came from, but there it was, and I offered it sincerely, realizing I was in the very chapel where the newest seminarian to the newly ordained priest may have spent his most profound moments of formation, where various women may have prayed the very same words, seeking to know God's will for them. And there I was...and I was nearly overwhelmed. It was only by God's grace that my composure was maintained because I was ready to throw myself at His feet. The very timeless of the Church was present there with Christ, and I will never be able to adequately describe the knowledge imparted to me in that moment.

My meeting with the Vocations Director went very well, he acknowledged my unwillingness to consider most of the local religious communities...for most of them are New Age, have embraced Social Justice divorced from true Human Dignity, have "kicked the habit", and really, have nothing to offer a revert who seeks to be faithful to the Church.

All he could do was ask a few questions, listen to my journey and responses to his questions, provide me with a booklet and some brochures...and wish me luck.

There isn't much in place for women, and I have met others who need more guidance as well and have the same complaint.

Our Vocations Director is simply not set up or equipped to handle women seeking Vocations to religious life. It's not his fault; he did the best he could with what he had, he offered his availablity and admitted his inability to guide effectively. I have nothing but respect for him.

So there is a breakdown in the system in our area. Maybe everywhere?

I find that there is a much stronger network in place for men who are discerning the priesthood, and indeed, I do place that at a higher degree of importance. However, in our times, we do need to have a better framework for support for women who want to respond to the Call.

We have the Serra Club in our area, my parish has a Vocations Committee, and there are other things, but it's not enough. Most of it is all about high school and college-age young adults. But what about those of us with a later call? Then what? Some people don't even know about Serra or other opportunities; they are adrift. I felt adrift, even though I knew of those groups.

A recent article came out stating the average age of newly-ordained priests is 35. What about newly professed Sisters and Nuns? There are many up and coming Communities, and I'm sure their median age is greater, too, but each publication claiming to be Catholic has different numbers. In my own observation, the old "Social Justice" orders are dying off with their embrace of goddess worship and New Age ideals, and orthodoxy is rising, but not a lot of reliable numbers are provided. From my own observation, again, it is the faithful Communities that are growing in leaps and bounds...and they would have even more if women had a better framework so as to approach them.

I do not think I am called to religious life, but my heart goes out to every woman who seeks this or seeks to respond...with very little guidance. Where is she to go? The Vocations Director in her Diocese will not know what to do with her, as much as he likely appreciates her response to God. The local religious Communities may not be fitting for her, thus she will need to do a great deal of reasearch all by herself to find out how to find out where she might have to go for answers to find out where she belongs.

That's an awful lot of "finding out" for anyone to endure. I'm quite certain that if it were so hard for seminarians, they'd be fewer and further between, and we'd have a true crisis on our hands, even in the most faithful of parishes.

It's an absolute miracle that any woman ever responds successfully to a call to religious life and manages to find the Community to which she is called, which is often far outside of her own hometown.

Yes, there is a crisis in Vocations, and part of it is within the system we have, as well-meaning as it is. Cannot something be done to better promote and assist WOMEN in their calls to religious life? Without the backbone of the Church, made up of women in prayer, we'd all be lost. Shouldn't we be doing something to relplenish their ranks?

Five People in Five Categories

I got tagged by RobK at Kyrie Eleison for this meme:

Instructions: "If you could meet and have a deep conversation with any five people on earth, living or dead, from any time period, who would they be?" Name five people from each of the following categories:
Saints, Those in the Process of Being Canonized, Heroes from your native country, Authors/Writers, Celebrities.

Then, tag five people.

Saints

* St. Padre Pio - because my uncle was a friend of his and I have a letter from him stating that he added my brother and I to St. Pio's spiritual family long ago. The letter is dated prior to his beautification (I think).
* St. Joseph - how can you NOT love St. Joseph!
* St. Therese of Avila - because she scares me and I know she'd take me to task and I need that if I'm ever to be the saint God asks us all to become
* St. Francis - because he'd understand why I have 2 dogs, both rescues and why I won't give them up to make Grad school more convenient.
* St. Augustine - because I identify with him and wish I had his way with words

Do I HAVE to stop at 5?

What about St. Joan of Arc? I LOVE her! So many saints...so many restrictions in this meme.....

Those being canonized

*John Paul II - obvious one, there!
*Pier Giorgio Frassati- Patron of young adults, he was a skier (one my my passions), and quite mischievious as a future saint!
*Fulton Sheen - For the record: if I find a way to pay for Grad school, then he is the reason--I've asked him to be my patron in this endeavor. Vatican investigators, take note because I cannot do this without Divine Providence.
* Mother Therese - hers was the first protrait I ever drew and through this I learned I can do portraits. It's hanging on my wall and was blessed by a priest from India.
* Kateri Tekawitha! I admire her courage and her faith!


American Heroes

* My uncle, Robert, a soldier in the Korean war assigned to protect a priest. He was killed by a sniper.
* The firefighters/police/paramedics who died in the World Trade Center- I realize this is a group of people, but on that date I was in firefighter training for a certain city and on that day, I learned what it meant to be a firefighter. On the day that occurred, our class agenda was to learn the process of fighting skyskraper fires.
* Maya Angelou -- I did meet her once, briefly, but I'd love to have a chat with her!
* Picabo Street - She's my ski hero- I want her fearlessness
* Mother Angelica - obvious reasons-- have you read Raymond Arroyo's book?


Authors

* Stephen King - easily one of the great American authors.
* Mark Twain - You have GOT to read his story about St. Jean D'Arc
* Gary Jennings - read "Aztec" You'll understand
* C.S. Lewis - obvious reasons
* Michael D. O'Brien - Read his "Children of the Last Days" series. Fr. Elijah, Sophia House, Strangers and Sojourners, Plague Journal, and the current work I'm reading, Eclipse of the Sun. His observations are astute and all too real. If you haven't, pick up his stuff!


Celebrities

* Julia Roberts - I was once compared to her in high school and I like her work.
* Nicholas Cage - Gone in 60 Seconds.
* Jim Caviezel - Jesus!
* Eddie Murphy - Family Man
* Mel Gibson - Cut the guy a break, already-- the man suffers from a disease!

Sorry, I'm not into celebrities so I really have no commentary for this last one. I also reserve the right to edit this list at any time if I think of a better subject!

And the people to be tagged. They ignored me last time, but I'm going to tag the Hadleys again anyway! And because Angela Messenger was paying attention, she's IT! The Recovering Dissident needs to experience her first meme, and Ray at Northland Catholic. If someone else is looking for a tag, send me a note and I'll add you to the official list!

Mucho Stuff Meme!

I stole this Meme from Swissmiss, who didn't tag me, because she stole it, too. She's a very bad influence on me.


What time is your alarm clock set to? 6:00 am most days, class weekends 5:00 or 5:15 am

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? That they are the opposite sex.

Do you think people talk about you behind your back? Isn't that why my left ear keeps ringing?

What movie do you know every line to? You should never end a sentence with a preposition. It's bad grammar. The proper way to phrase the question is this: "To which movie do you know every line by heart?" My answer is this: "The Princess Bride" and "Finding Nemo"

What is your favorite movie? I have a few favorites: "Flicka", "The Princess Bride", "Gone in 60 Seconds", "The Guardian", and obviously, "Finding Nemo."

Is anyone in love with you? Um...not likely.

Do you sleep on your side, stomach or back? Side and back, and back to side again.

Who was the last person to make you mad? That's a tough one. I don't remember...I must have forgiven that person. Hmmmm....will edit if I can remember who last torqued my jaw.

Are you a lover or a fighter? Both. In my last job, especially when I got towards the end and was just sick and tired of people lying to me, I became quite confrontational, and sometimes in person. My superior happened to be with me one day, and while my confrontational attitude was not that bad, my superior found it necessary to comment, "You're not carrying a .9mm anymore! Confront him on the phone!" He was right. But by nature, as one of my FTO's observed, I'm more of a "meek and mild" sort. I will avoid confrontation if I can and find a reasonable resolution to conflict rather than fight. But I'm no pushover....most of the time. Just don't corner me or the claws come out (and they are LONG claws!)

Are you a morning or evening person? Used to be evening, maybe that's often still the case, but I worked nights for almost 4 years, and ever since then, I've been far more appreciative of daylight. I won't go so far as to say I'm a "morning" person, but I do realize that I'm sharper and more productive in the morning....during and after my coffee!

Are you a cuddler? Yes.

.Are you a perfectionist? Selectively

Have you ever written a poem? Several, a couple published here on my blog. I don't write poetry anymore, though.

Do you have more guy or girl friends? Both. I used to have more guy friends as I worked in many male-dominated fields. What was ironic was that, there I was hanging out with a crowd of about 10 guys, all friends, and they were speaking of the movie, "When Harry Met Sally. " Great movie. But they held to the premise of the movie: "It's impossible for men and women to be friends because there will always be sexual tension." It always made me laugh, because there I was and they barely recognized that I was a woman, in spite of my painted nails, my makeup, my long hair, hairless face, etc. LOL! And I can honestly say that NO, I NEVER considered... * ahem * ...with ANY of those guys! Perhaps I can't speak for all of them, but not a single one of the 10 ever hit on me. (You know...come to think of it, that's insulting...) I probably have more female friends now, but I can still easily relate to guys.

How many tickets have you gotten? 1 "Failure to Yield" back in 1992 when I totalled my car, and 1 parking ticket for parking on a bridge in Minneapolis when I gave up on finding a parking spot in Dinky Town! (Locals will relate to that frustration...)

Piercings? Nope. My Dad ticked off my Mom by getting my ears pierced when I was 13, and they ended up getting infected (Mom's fault, ironically), and I never got them re-pierced and refuse to do so.

Do you have a tattoo? Two of them, both obtained after the age of 25

Are you patient? WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF? OK, seriously, I'm working on that particular virtue. Others have told me that I'm patient, but I don't see it. It was a virtue I had as a child, but then I grew up and it went away.

Do you miss anyone right now? My Dad, who passed away in 1995.

Tea or coffee? COFFEE!

Regularly burn incense? Sometimes. The good stuff, not the church stuff, but Incense from India, selected ones. When I feel like it.

Ever been in love? I thought I was. I was wrong because I didn't know what love was.

Best room for a fireplace? Livingroom

What do you do when you’re sad or upset? Write, walk, go to the gym, pray, go to Adoration, go to Mass

Afraid of heights? No. However, I have a strange fear of falling that I've had ever since I was a child. Firefighter training was absolute agony for me, and although it helped, the fear has not gone away. Thus, you will not find me on the roof!

Can you change the oil in your car? No. I know the idea behind it, but I've never done it, was never taught, and don't even have the tools to do it. (But I sure can tell you lots of stuff about your engine and can write damage estimates on the components of the engine compartment!)

Favorite flower? There are a few: Lilacs, roses (especially if they are given to me!), sunflowers, bleeding hearts.

Favorite hangout? Apparently my computer. (Wow, that's sad)

Middle name? Marie (after my Grandmother)

Most romantic sounding language? Spanish "Cuando dos personas se quieren y se sienten bien, ellos se embrazan y se besan mucho..."

Ever been overseas? I spent a semester in Mexico in college, but otherwise I've never been anywhere outside of this country. Not even Canada, about 6 hours to our North.

I tag...no one. Steal it as fairly as I did!

Holocaust

Not long ago, I read PRIESTBLOCK 25487, the concentration camp memoir of Fr. Jean Bernard. Many people (especially those who say the Catholic Church didn't do anything to help the Jews in WWII) fail to realize that THOUSANDS of Catholic and other Christian clergy suffered the camps and were brutally murdered along with our MILLIONS of Jewish brethren. This book details this reality, through the eyes of one who survived...barely.

I am reproducing here a section from PRIESTBLOCK, because tonight, I watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. This passage may reveal the juxtaposition provided first by an unrelated book...and the movie about friendship in the tyranny of brutality.

Once the door upstairs creaks.

Like a flash I have the axe in my hand and am splitting wood. But nobody comes. I can't see the door, since the stairs go around a corner.

Then from upstairs I hear a small child's voice: "Mister, are you there?"

I am incapable of describing the impression this voice made on me. A greeting from another world! Did such a thing still exist?

At the same time I felt horribly afraid that someone might find me talking to this child...

I still can't see to the top of the stairs and am very careful not to take even one step.

"What are you doing here?" --My tone of voice was intended to be harsh, but I didn't succeed very well.

"You won't tell my mommy, promise?"

"Go back to your mother right now! You'll get dirty down here!"

The little girl went but called back through a crack in the door: "I'll come back tomorrow!"

The next day I was just on my way upstairs with a pail of ashes when I heard a woman's shrill voice calling, "Mathilde, where are you going?"

"To talk to the nice man," the little girl answered.

My heart skipped a beat. What would happen now?

Nothing happened. The girl started down the steps and no one interfered. So the mother didn't mind!

I heaved a sigh of relief.

I never saw the child. On each visit she would push the door open and sit down on the upper steps; then a lively conversation developed between the two of us that was like a ray of light from heaven for me. I told the little girl the most wonderful stories. And thawed in the process myself. I rediscovered my faith in beauty and purity, in innocence and love.

It was all right with me that I never got a glimpse of her. Perhaps she wore long braids, even worse them coiled snail-fashion over her ears, or had some other feature of the master race. As it was I could picture her to myself as the epitome of everything amiable, a messenger from that better world in which I could hardly believe anymore.

It was this scene I had in my mind's eye as I watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. From the very beginning of the movie I was horrified at this very average family first in denial about what was really happening, and then having to face what was really going on in the "farm" next to their house. The prisoner who peeled potatoes, as it turned out, was really a doctor, and in his short conversation with Bruno, I saw the scene from Priestblock.

I saw a human being being treated as an animal, and yet, when the child of the enemy State was in need, he ran to his side and cared for him as though he was his own son. The very normal conversation between an innocent 8 year old and this kind man was a delight, and the film captured the glimmer of hope from him as he looked up, slightly smiling at Bruno's quip. It was a scene parallel to Fr. Bernard's recounting of the little girl who came to converse with him as he worked in the Officer's house.

I held my breath when Bruno's mother arrived and sent the child away. It was as though she wasn't sure how to act. I pleaded with her to say something, to recognize what had happened, and thus the very humanity of the man who had looked out for her son even though it wasn't his "job" to do so. There was an extended moment, wondering whether she would berate the man, get her husband or another soldier, or simply ignore him. As she softly said, "Thank you", I was flooded with relief and gratitude, and hope. I was reminded that there were those who knew what was happening, and disagreed with it, working on their own to figure out how to hide their allegiance to morality from the State that wanted to dictate and enforce an agenda so contrary to natural law and the dignity of humanity.

As the movie progressed, the full horror of what was happening behind the walls surfaced, and even Bruno was given a glimpse. The propaganda being fed to the two children (Bruno and his sister) was absolutely demonic, and yet, one could see Bruno resisting what he was being fed, even as his sister gave herself to it completely.

I'm not going to say anything further about this movie. The ending is shocking, as it should be, for no one should walk away from it without having to face the reality of what happened in Hitler's camps.

In college we read Elie Wiesel's Night for one of our courses, and I'd long ago read The Diary of Ann Frank. Books on this topic abound, from the driest court documents to the most gruesome memoirs. As well they should. And there are still stories and testimonies we will never hear, for who can speak for the experience of the dead?

This is something we should NEVER forget. This very week, a crazed idiot entered the Holocaust Museum and opened fire. As I understand it, he didn't believe the Holocaust ever happened.

How anyone could be in such denial of a well-documented and systematic slaughter of thousands upon thousands of innocent human beings is beyond me.

And yet, we still live in such times. We still live in the age of denial, where people witness or are a part of the violation of civil rights, and anyone who speaks up is condemned. Genocide still happens, around the world. I've written before of the pogroms in India that began last August, wiping out the Christian population in several states. Where I live, there are many Somalian refugees, having fled their own extinction to seek a new home where they could perhaps survive.

Tonight, in watching this movie, I prayed for all those souls who were lost in the camps, and I wondered...how long before the anti-Christian climate in the United States slips that far?

There are some who will read this and ridicule me. The average German and Polish citizen who recognized what was happening were ridiculed, too...just before they were hauled off to the camps to be slaughtered along with the people they sought to defend.

The Fuhrer and his minions tolerated no dissent.

The reality is that the Holocaust happened, and it will happen again because human nature never seems to learn. When the face of the Fuhrer changes, people stick their heads in the sand so as to avoid ever denouncing the actions of their idol. That's why it's SO IMPORTANT to understand and recognize what happened at the hands of the Nazis and the blind acquiescence of the average people who refused to speak up. We must recognize those who risked their lives to speak up...and often lost them. We must recognize the ongoing ability of man to brutally redefine what "humanity" means, in order that his own selfish and demonic agenda be pushed and made to be "acceptable" or at least rendered morally "neutral."

Everyone should read these books and see this movie. And never, ever, forget.
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The Starving Children of God

Consider: how many times have you perhaps been, say, complaining about a particular liturgical abuse at your parish or one you visited, or perhaps about the music? Perhaps you are speaking to a friend or acquaintance and that person clearly doesn't like what you're saying, so pipes up with, "Well, at least we CAN go to mass! There are people all over the world that can't go to Mass at all!"

Certainly they have a point, and none of us disagrees that this is the case.

HOWEVER, it's an illogical response to the problems at hand. The comment to redirect one to the liturgical equivalent of "the starving children in Africa" is designed to shut down the complaints.

Granted, sometimes we do need to pipe down and air our greviances to the appropriate party, that being the Pastor or perhaps the Bishop if the Pastor has not responded.

Let's break this down a little, though, in order to explain why we should not be cowed by someone who doesn't like our rant against their favorite "liturgical" music composers, or liturgical dancing or creative Eucharistic prayers. There are a few things we all need to understand, just for a foundation:

1. The Liturgy does not belong to the presiding priest, it does not belong to us as individuals and it does not belong to the individual parish.

A parish is NOT a "closed community" of worshippers in a single place and time. The Mass belongs to the Church as a whole, during which the original sacrifice of Calvary is made present, inserted into OUR place and time, no matter where we are when it is celebrated. It is fully universal, and each movement or prayer that takes place in the Mass has meaning. Everything is designed to bring us more fully into the Paschal Mystery.

If, for example, we are focused on an amazing soloist in the choir, no matter how holy the song, if our attention isn't directed to God but rather to that person, then it is not effective and shouldn't take place during the Mass.

Any time we are directed to human accomplishment, we take our attention from God who should be front and center since He is condescending to make Himself present among us in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

We do not go to Mass to be entertained; we go to experience Heaven.

2. The Faithful have a Canonical Right to a properly celebrated Mass.

Canon 214 states: The Christian faithful have the right to worship God according to the prescripts of their own rite approved by the legitimate pastors of the Church [this does not mean individual parish Pastors, but magisterial leadership] and to follow their own form of spiritual life so long as it is consonant with the doctrine of the Church. [i.e. legitimate spiritual life is CATHOLIC spiritual life, which means you can't replace scripture readings with verses from the Koran or poetry from Robert Frost, etc.]

Under the Code of Canon Law, NO ONE has the right to tweak the Mass such that they leave the rubrics behind. Each and every movent in the liturgy has significant meaning, and the fact that we may not understand that meaning does not render that part of the Mass insignificant; rather it means we have a moral obligation to seek out that which we do not understand. Eliminating it or trashing it in some way is an outright offense to God and to the rest of the Church.

3. The Hymns chosen for Mass are important

Our professor made an interesting point this weekend, one I've heard before but it bears repeating:

When people leave Mass, are they most often meditating on things stated in the homily or in the readings, or are they singing one of the songs used during Mass?

Music is powerful and it catches our attention and imagination. The heretics in the early Church, and even since that time, realized this and have long used hymns to spread their heresies. In fact, the Arians were the first to do this but they were far from the last.

When we consider the music done in a Catholic Mass, we must also consider the words being used, for they are important and they are powerful. What we sing we are more likely to internalize, and at Mass, it is actually a prayer.

Lex orandi, lex credendi: We believe as we pray. If we are praying something that is NOT Catholic teaching, we become indoctrinated into something false.

This falsity removes us from the Paschal Mystery and keeps us from experiencing it as deeply as we could if we were actually being presented with and given the opportunity to receive the proper theology.

In charity and truth, we MUST, therefore, protest the use of music that is not true and does not contribute to the proper prayers of the Mass.

4. The "starving children" logical fallacy

The fact that people in some other parts of the world aren't given the great gift of Mass (oppressive regimes, plagues, priest shortages caused by the former, etc.) should not be taken to mean that we should be subjected to illicit (and even invalid!) liturgical practices.

Because children are starving in the Sudan, does that mean we should put bugs in our food here so that we can get dysentary, too?

Or would not the good people in those countries want we who are privileged to REALIZE our privilege, celebrate it, and in so doing, be able to assist them more completely?

The reality is that BECAUSE the Mass, in all times and all places, all church buildings, belongs to the Church, past, present, and future, if it is improperly celebrated it DEPRIVES the ENTIRE CHURCH of graces that are owed.

When we attend Mass, we do so on behalf of those who are unable. When we pray the petetions, we, in a sense, lose our own personal identities and desires so that we can take on that of the Church, representing especially those who cannot be present among us physically. That might include a neighbor who is sick, a medical professional who has been on call and can't attend due to an emergency at the hospital, or an entire village somewhere in India whose priest was murdered and they, sent into exile. We attend Mass and we receive the sacraments on their behalf, that they might receive the same graces to which they have a right but within which they cannot directly participate for a time. Because they are part of the Church, even though they are on the other side of the world, they are still part of us.

If we are distracted at Mass because the priest is making up words of the consecration and we must wonder if the validity of the Sacrament has been affected...we are being deprived of Grace. If we are unable to pray the mass because someone is up on the altar changing the words of the prayers in a way that is "gimmicky" (i.e. "inclusive language", non-approved wording, etc.), then we are being deprived of Grace.

How are we being deprived?

When we go to Mass, we should be able to expect to fully participate, which means we can interiorly unite ourselves as a Body as we pray together in our praise and worship of God. We can place ourselves and our concerns upon the altar so that the priest can "lift them up" during the Holy Sacrifice.

But when we are distracted and confused by bad hymns with non-Catholic or completely contradictory theology, or "prayers" that depart from the canon, or unapproved scriptural translations that change the original meaning of the words, we may forget what we are there to do. We have been cut off, in a way, from the Church for what is being celebrated in that place and time no longer has unity with the rest of the Church.

And in that, the efficaciousness of our prayers may be lost for in fact, we can no longer properly participate. In the case where the congregation may not be aware that what is happening is wrong, they are also cut off, through no intent of their own, for they are being deprived of the full meaning of the Paschal Mystery which they will NEVER truly be able to grasp if it is not presented properly.

We see this effect in those parishes that especially suffer the worst of liturgical abuses, for they don't even realize they are eating from a liturgical garbage dump and so don't understand the real meaning of "unity" in the Church.

We can look around us and see what bears this out and what bears fruit in the spiritual and sacramental life of the Church.

In my observation, the "starving children" in America are those most likely to make the "starving children" logical fallacy, for they are often either refugees from the liturgal garbage dumps who have not been offered an explanation of the fullness of the Liturgy, or they are those who still attend a Mass or have been indoctrinated by music that does more to celebrate "us" than it does to direct our worship to God. (This latter, I think, is the most common scenario. Good Catholics with good intentions but bad formation through no fault of their own.)

Thankfully, our dear Pope Benedict XVI has recognized all the starving children in America and in his mercy, has issued Summorum Pontificum (July 7, 2007), and the USCCB has revised the translation of the Mass to make it more faithful to the actual wording.

CAVEAT!!!

Now, while it is a logical fallacy to try to shut down legitimate complaints by pointing out what others DON'T have, we do need to recognize the great gift of the Mass. We need to recognize what we have and while we work to reform those things that are wrong and which close off a parish from the universal Church, we may need to still attend those Masses...on behalf of all those who cannot.

Holiness and worship doesn't consist in "either/or" but in the true Catholic way, "both/and". YES there are some major problems in liturgy right now, AND we need to recognize them AND while we work for improvement, attend Mass as often as possible to pray for the suffering Church that is deprived of the Sacraments.

That, my friends, is what we the faithful are called to do, and THAT, while it is going to be slow going, is how we are called to suffer in our place and time.

The FIRST thing we need to do, though, is educate ourselves. We need to understand what the Mass is all about, what the Church officially teaches about it, and only then can we really serve others, whether here or abroad.

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From Hell

Spiders are from Hell. They are demons sent to torture us in small ways. Think about it.

My long-time readers will remember a couple posts on the topic of spiders.

The first was aptly entitled Spiders so I offer this excerpt:

Fast forward to my new townhome. For the first couple years, I lived in holy terror of the bushes. They were COVERED in funnel webs and sheet webs, spiders entered my house through microscopic cracks and I considered purchasing a S&W .45 semi-auto and staking out the doorway in order to blow every creeping spider into oblivion. Or purchase a blow-torch. Or Aqua-Net and a lighter.

Every morning as I stepped outside with the dogs, I feared walking into a web that covered the doorway. As it was, they covered the doorbell and made the bushes look like a horror-movie version of cotton-candy. Vanilla flavored. I idly wondered if I sprayed the bushes with food coloring, could I SELL the webs as a fair treat?

Spiders on a stick.

Read the rest; for once it's not a long post but it has the benefit of big, colorful pictures of spiders. Go ahead. I dare you!

You may be asking yourself, "What prompted this random post about the demonic nature of spiders?"

Well, my Google+ friend (I'm not naming him as I'm not sure if he's public or not) posted a photo of a spider sculpture demonically placed directly across from the Notre Dame Cathedral in Ottawa, Canada. The spider happens to sport a huge egg sac crawling with baby spiders ready to overcome the world. Or at least the square.

Or perhaps it is actually an allegory of an allegory of the dragon discussed in colorful detail in the book of Revelation; the dragon waiting to eat the child of the Lady, forcing her to flee to save him from the spider's dragon's terrible jaws.

I bet if we really look at the original Greek, the term for "dragon" would mean:

 "huge giant gargantuan leviathan sickening drooling snapping aggressive funnel-and-sheet-web-weaving venom-bearing creepy crawling destructive poisonous vindictive rabid syphilic leperous flesh-eating hairy scuttering scaling ebola-and-tetanus-bearing kracken with eight legs building an ecosystem out of nasty rotten cotton spun out of its rear end in order to snare unsuspecting or misdirected innocents in order to entrap them in said cotton (not silk because silk is pretty) in order to suck blood from them for eternity just for sport and to get back at God for stepping on the snake that tempted Eve and suckered Adam."

Yup. That's what "Dragon" means in Revelation. It's all there. Really.

Spiders are creatures straight from Hell.

I once had a dream about it, and sin was the vehicle that carried the spider allegory. It still haunts me, and I STILL dream of spiders and spider-like creatures when I need to go to Confession.

Oh, yes, God knows how to remind me of Hell and how I will be spending it if I continue to reject Him.

I will be spending it with spiders, dead and alive, large and small, and I will NEVER be able to escape them!

The worst part about it, is this: if in life I become comfortable with them, that is the sign that in death, I will suffer eternal separation from God in their huge giant gargantuan leviathan sickening drooling snapping aggressive funnel-and-sheet-web-weaving venom-bearing creepy crawling destructive poisonous vindictive rabid syphilic leperous flesh-eating hairy scuttering scaling ebola-and-tetanus-bearing kracken with eight legs building an ecosystem out of nasty rotten cotton spun out of its rear end in order to snare unsuspecting or misdirected innocents in order to entrap them in said cotton (not silk because silk is pretty) in order to suck blood from them for eternity just for sport and to get back at God for stepping on the snake that tempted Eve and suckered Adam with no hope of ever escaping to a dragon/spider free eternity.

In order to understand this statement, check out my eternally-haunting dream from 2007, Attachments to Sin:

I turned away and went to find my spray bottle, a spider repellant, which I hoped would kill all the spiders that still lived, even unseen, in that terrible thick web. First I went to the garage where I was careful to cover all corners and the entire door with the fine spray. Then I went to the large wall/door in my home and sprayed it down, aiming especially at anything that moved. When done, I put the bottle away then returned to the conglomeration of spider webs, trying to figure out how best to deal with the mess.


Even as I stared at it, I realized that for some reason, I was not as horrified as I should have been; I am complete arachnophobic. I HATE spiders, they freak me out and give me nightmares. (case in point!). Yet I was somewhat disaffected by the overabundance of these horrible creatures and the home they had made in my very house!. I thought this kind of complacency to be odd, even in the dream.

*shudder*

Read the rest. You'll never look at spiders or sin the same way again.

Maybe you're still thinking I'm some sort of crank case.

I ask you this: Why do I think this post makes you think differently than you ever did before?

Yup. I'm a crank case. But that doesn't make me wrong.

Think about it; Spiders are a creation of God designed to reveal the nature of evil and Hell.

1.  Some spiders are *cough choke vomit*  pretty  *choke choke choke Heimlich choke cough* in some twisted way, and attract people...well...who are attracted to that sort of...uh... *choke* beauty *choke..someone give me oxygen* !!  Ugh.  That's all I can say about that or I'll drop dead right here on my own blog.

2. Have you ever seen the morning sun, as it rises, reflect upon the dew droplets innocently caught on the predatory reflecting the new light, the dew droplets like perfect victims pearls, revealing the incredible artistic, ingenious design of the death trap ?

[Note to self: get rid of anything resembling pearls. They now remind me of dew drops being sucked to eternal torture in a demon's lair]

3.  Spiders retreat and set snares for their prey, just like demons. All the creatures who find their violent end in a spider's web or outside his trapdoor have to do is go about their daily business of flitting from flower to flower or shade to shade, only to find the horrific countenance of deformed ickyness pouncing and latching onto them in all their nasty hairy skitteriness only to suck the life from them at leisure. It's a terrible, painful death involving liquefied organs.

No wonder they've spawned so many horror flicks. Just like they spawn their young and take over the planet.

4. Spiders and their lairs spawn and then attract innocent children who are fascinated by their surroundings and see only the pretty colors. Just like sin. Sin is pretty too, but it ensnares the soul and sucks the life out of the human who also mistook it for a shiny bauble.

5. The biggest spiders are found in the hottest places on earth: the tropics, the desert. Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Mexico, Guatemala, etc etc through the Amazon, then Africa, the Middle East, India, Taiwan, Indonesia, Australia, New Zealand....you get the picture.

Hell is HOT. That's why spiders live there on earth, too.

6. There are 6 points, the number of imperfection, ergo: God created spiders, and because every facet and creature of His creation has theological import, it's obvious that spiders were designed to remind us of Hell.

Spiders Demons weave pretty webs but reproduce in astronomical proportions; whatever "beauty" can be attached to a spider is merely an allegory for Satan and his minions and his horrific residence.

Spiders and Demons are the same thing and should be handled in the same way they handle us: violently.

Maybe that's why the Saints said we must "do violence"  to ourselves in order to rid ourselves of sin. After all, demons, by seeking to separate us from God, do violence to us, and spiders are, by nature, bloodthirsty, violent creatures.

I will never again feel guilty about "wasting" ammo on a spider. They're great for target practice.

I just wish the neighbors would relax about it.

What?

Partisan Paranoid Protester

1. I am not partisan.

I can't be "partisan", for I claim no allegiance to any political ideology.

I vote with the issues and happen to find that currently, the Democratic Party LEAST represents me, or, at best, it MISREPRESENTS what I believe while working hard to convince me and other people who are more gullible that they actually follow Catholic teaching on Social Justice.

Um...no, they don't. They INCORPORATE some portions of Catholic Social teaching, but any idiot can do that by accident. Unfortunately in the case of our government, a LOT of idiots are actively working to deceive the people in this country and I refuse to be one of their Stepford Wives.

2. I am not paranoid

It is NOT "paranoid" to recognize that our own Government is trying to force something upon the American people, and in so doing, outright condemns and works hard to quash legitimate protest.

Can protests get out of hand? Certainly!

But since when is it proper for proud liberals to protest their pet projects (immigration, the war), while proud conservatives (pro-life, health care "reform" requiring tax-payer funded abortion "rights") are publicly villified, arrested, and denounced for exercising their same rights in the same way? Both have peaceful protests protected by our Constitution.

Personally, I find many protesters to be inane, tiresome, aggravating and often idiotic (no matter WHAT their belief.)

I ALSO am grateful to live in a country where we CAN have those protests, I am happy those protesters remind our government that we are a more-or-less Democratic country...especially when one agrees with the reigning regime.

Oh, wait!

...does anyone see anything wrong with my last sentence?

In this, I blame the media even more than I blame our government because...our government got their power through the media. And keeps it.

It's not "paranoia" to be upset that you really DO recognize unfairness in how legitimate concerns are being addressed.

And it's not "paranoia" to draw very clear parallels between what's happening now to what happened in the past in other countries with far more history and suffering...and wisdom...and who STILL voted in evil dictators such as Hitler and Stalin.

You may disagree, but you don't have the right to trample on the reality of history or what people of those countries have faced...and are watching happen in America now.

The Arrogance of American politics will be our destruction unless we are willing to face history!

It's not a matter of political leanings...it's a matter of knowing history and recognizing TRUTH.

I'm not paranoid because I'm expressing an opinion that goes against the current flow. It means I actually have a brain and am engaging it rather than swallowing without question the current mantra of 'HEALTH CARE REFORM!" I'm not seeing how this is any kind of a "reform" at all.

Protester

Yes, I'm protesting. That part is correct.

I have been AMAZED at the vitriol and outright, hostile accusations made against people who have been speaking out against the "Health Care Reform" being shoved down America's collective throat.

I've been called all sorts of things, even in my minimal commentary on social networking. I've been villified and blocked by people who responded to an innocuous "RT" (retweet) on Twitter, people who CLAIM to be good Catholics. I've been accused of being PARTISAN but I wonder where anyone saw that I claimed allegiance to ANY party?

No. I respond to what is in front of me. I refuse to sell my soul to something of the world that can be voted out. My interest is in eternity, and in that interest, I want our government to be interested in Truth, which truly benefits us all.

Let me tell you the truth...

I grew up on welfare, so as a child, we received Medical Assistance. (MA). I think they covered everything we needed, actually, but if they didn't, I didn't hear about it or didn't understand.

When I was in college, I no longer qualified under Mom's MA coverage. I found that I MIGHT qualify for MinnesotaCare, and so I went to speak with a really condescending social worker in Steele County, and went through the humiliation of what they call a "spend down". It was a term I'd often heard Mom use growing up, but until I was there, myself, I hadn't the foggiest idea of what it meant.

I had to go through hours of this analysis, as a solid COLLEGE STUDENT, because we were homeless, Mom was in the hospital and on MA, and as a student, I wasn't making any money. As it was, there were two possible options for me. I could go through one plan that would cost me $6.00 per month, or I would be on MA.

Sure! I could afford that! $6.00! A ridiculously cheap amount! I WASTED more than that each week! And I liked the idea of contributing, after many years of being on welfare. I knew it was cheap because I'd researched the cost of health insurance for an independent college student.

But no...the State decided that $6.00 per month for me was too much, and that's why I had to go through the humiliating "Spend down". And it was made even MORE humiliating by the obvious condescending attitude of the social worker who assumed that because I was from a welfare family and lifestyle, I'd be on her desk forever.

And this is exactly the kind of person throwing their lot in with Obamacare and the "Reform".

So it was that I actually chose not to attend my next "spend down" and spent my college years without health insurance. I found the system ridiculous, illogical, and I refused to be a dead weight on society when it was clear that I could pay SOMETHING into my own medical care, even if it was minimal. I refused to endorse the system with my participation in a dehumanizing acquiescence given my own viability of being a productive member of society.

After all, if the outcome for one who went through the "spendown" every so many months was the same as someone who was introduced to the system through an emergency and humiliated there instead, I figured I'd wait and deal with the probem if it was needed instead of subjecting myself to it without need.

It was clear I wasn't wanted and I wasn't human...why put myself into that position? (And dare I say it? That attitude is probably why I never sought treatment and almost died in 1996 when I woke up unable to breathe. I'd rather die than be so dehumanized ever again. What's the difference?)

Since then I've been paying taxes into things for which I will never reap benefits. (Social Security, anyone?) Maybe that is Just. Maybe I'm just paying pack what I took from our country while growing up. Let's call it even now. I've more than paid back what I owed.

Now, leave me alone. And if you want to kill your infants, do it on your own dime. I want no part of that and refuse to pay it.

It's not paranoid to protest against rampant murder. Ask anyone in Nazi Germany or Stalin's Russia. Or current day India.

Let's be honest

The "health care crisis" in this country has everything to do with politics and nothing to do with reality.

I've seen many uninsured people go into the hospital and receive excellent care, for the people actually doing the work of caring are very good at it. They go into the medical field because they actually *gasp* want to HELP people!

My Dad was one of the people whose life was saved by this "awful health care system". He didn't have a job. Mom brought him to the hospital. They were long divorced but she was concerned about a physical problem he was having. He didn't want to go. As it was, he had dead bone removed from his foot in an emergency surgery which saved him from death by septic shock, and he spent a few months in a local nursing home.

I'm not sure who paid the bill, but no one told him "no".

Medical Debt isn't real debt

When I worked as a claims investigator, as a matter of course, we gathered financial records and credit reports. I learned quickly that medical debt meant NOTHING.

No one burned their car or arranged for their truck to be "stolen" in order to pay off medical debt. Even though it showed on a credit report that they had thousands in "collections", no one was pursuing them on those bills.

My manager told me early on to ignore medical debt in my assesments of potential fraud. Over time, I saw why: nearly EVERYONE had some kind of medical debt in collections. And their claim weren't fraudulent.

If they were, it was for a financial reason OTHER THAN past medical problems.

Now, don't use this to go out and get that plastic surgery you've always wanted. These people probably had medical emergencies and problems they couldn't control. Could happen to any of us.

At that time, I had good insurance and everything I needed was covered but for the copay.

Now, though, as I work for the Church, our insurance is outright crap, we have no choice, and quite honestly, I've avoided going to the doctor for over a year or so because I can't afford the bills that will come.

For you see, I have this reason of integrity of wanting to pay my bills if I can. I will go back to the doctor only if I think I'm dying.

The climate now actually makes medical debt more collectible, and everything...billable.

All we're paying for is administration of the paperwork...not our own care.

So yes, I believe reform is needed.

But not what's being shoved down our throats.

Reform needs RESEARCH. That's not an unreasonable demand to make.

It needs to be taken out of the government's hands and handled in a way that prevents partisan lines.

It needs to recognize the dignity of each and every human being from conception to natural death.

True reform isn't about politics; it's about people.

I see nothing in Obama's "reform" that has anything to do with humanity at all.

I refuse to ever be so dehumanized again as I was under the government system that ruled my health care as a child and a young adult.

You can argue politics all you want. But I lived the reality and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

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Sacred Mysteries

Today somone on Twitter raised a question arising from today's Divine Office reading, taken from Origen's homily on Joshua. She thought he was talking about salvation being limited to a certain few, wheras he is actually speaking in the context of the Sacraments, ie "Sacred Mysteries."

I'm going to quote a larger passage, not a "twitterable" one, so as to give better context which will aid in our understanding. (Words in bold were the passage being questioned.)

From Origen's Homily on Joshua:

"You have recently abandoned the darkness of idolatry, and you now desire to come and hear the divine law. This is your departure fro mEgypt. When you became a catechumen and began to obey the laws of the Church, you passed through the Red Sea; now at the various stops in the desert, you give time every day to hear the law of God and to see the face of Moses unveiled by the glory of God. But once you come to the baptismal font and, in the presence of the priests and deacons, are initiated into those sacred and august mysteries which only those know who should, then, through the ministry of the priests, you will cross the Jordan and enter the promised land. There Moses will hand you over to Jesus, and he himself will be your guide on your new journey."

There is actually a great deal of theology in this passage, and a great deal of history being alluded to which was relevant to Origin's audience. Thus I'd like to first point out that the overall context of the homily seems to indicate that those hearing it were converts from Judaism. In it, Origin is referring to their history, familiarity with Moses, the Red Sea, the Ark of the Covenant, etc. (I did not quote the entire reading for today). Had he been speaking to gentile converts, he would have had to explain these things as opposed to bringing them into the present and into the Christian understanding.

Now, as far as the text that the individual questioned, it seems clear to me that Origin is discussing the Sacraments. He refers to "initiation", and we refer to Baptism, Confirmation, and Holy Communion as the "sacraments of initiation". At that time, I believe catechumens received all three Sacraments at the same time.

If you read the passage again, it discusses the presence of priests and deacons, and specifically, that they are admitted to these mysteries through the ministry of the priests. This indicates the reception of Sacraments, as well as presence at the Paschal Mystery (e.g. the Mass)

What many do not understand is that Mass was not always so accessable to people. Recall that in the Early Church, Christians were greatly persecuted. All week in the Divine Office we've been reading about St. Ignatius; he was paraded to Rome in captivity to face his martyrdom, and in the process wrote something like 15 letters to those in his care. When he reached Rome, he was fed to the lions, and many other Christians, people like you and I, (from children to the elderly) also stood up and identified themselves publicly as Christians, and were ALSO sent to the lions.

It doesn't surprise me, then, that this reading follows, for the persecution of our ancestors was not the lame and cowardly persecutions we face today (at least, in America). Wheras we risk and suffer ridicule and maybe political "attack" in our countries, for them it was a crime to be Christian, and to publicly admit the affiliation was an automatic death sentence. A very torturous death, done for the entertainment of the pagan masses.

So it was that, in the Early Church, Mass was a secret meeting. The priests consecrated the bread and wine into the body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ. They spoke of eating His flesh and drinking His blood, and yes, they did this quite seriously. St. Ignatius of Antioch, St. Clement of Rome, St. Irenaeus, St. Justin Martyr, St. Cyril, among others, all spoke of this Mystery (which today we call the Paschal Mystery).

There, deep in history, the rumor mill was just as active as it is today, even without benefit of the internet. The pagans, and others, sincerely believed the Christians were cannibals, and that they were meeting in secret in order to do their grisly and immoral deeds. Christians were hated and feared.

It was for this reason (among others) that St. Justin Martyr wrote Apologia, in an attempt to defend the Church, respond to the attacks, and put the rumors to rest.

At that time in history, strangers were not admitted to Mass. Catechumens (the non-baptized being instructed in the Christian faith, a term still used today) were barred from attendance until, for approximately three years, they had completed their instruction, had truly converted, and were ready to be admitted to the Mysteries. (To be specific, they were admitted to the Liturgy of the Word, ie the penitential rite, collect, Gloria, scripture readings, and the Homily, and were dismissed after this.)

St. Justin Martyr, in his 1st Apology, wrote about this practice:

No one may share the Eucharist with us unless he believes that what we teach is true, unless he is washed in the regenerating waters of baptism for the remission of his sins, and unless he lives in accordance with the principles given us by Christ.

We do not consume the eucharistic bread and wine as if it were ordinary food and drink, for we have been taught that as Jesus Christ our Savior became a man of flesh and blood by the power of the Word of God, so also the food that our flesh and blood assimilates for its nourishment becomes the flesh and blood of the incarnate Jesus by the power of his own words contained in the prayer of thanksgiving.

He explains here why others were not admitted to these mysteries, raising the demand of a conversion of life, of intent, of proving their ability to live "in accordance with the principles given us by Christ."

Those who became Christians then, through the Sacraments of initiation, knew what they were getting into. They were willing to die for it, and they were everyday witnesses to exactly what kind of death awaited them.

They were not willing to die for a lie, for a "mystery" that turned out to have been written by an early Dan Brown hack. When they were finally, at long last, admitted to the Church and initiated into those Mysteries, they knew what they were receiving, the importance of it, the sacredness, and the reality that this was going to cost them. They had to first die to themselves in order to risk dying for the Faith of Jesus Christ.

Salvation

Now, there was also the question of salvation, and I won't go into detail on this, but I can focus on some very simple beliefs.

We believe that baptism is NECESSARY for Salvation, and that no one enters heaven but through Jesus Christ. His suffering and death was for the remission of sin, paid the ransom owed, rendering Divine Justice through His perfect act of Mercy. But we must be baptized, the stain of original sin erased, and through this Sacrament, we enter the Church.

As Catholics, we recognize that Confirmation and Holy Communion complete our initiation into the Church, each Sunday we profess our Faith, and continue to live the sacramental life of the Church, even if it means that we receive the Sacrament of Confession daily if necessary! Even we who have been initiated are not admitted freely to the Sacrament of Holy Communion if we are in a state of mortal sin!

So, yes, Origin is ALSO speaking of salvation in this homily, but by no means is giving a discourse on that (no more than I am in this post!). His main point is the necessity and importance of the sacramental life, instruction in the relevence (and revelation!) of these mysteries for those upon whom the chrism oil still drips from their foreheads.

Today

Anyone can attend Mass today, no matter what their faith, and no matter how much they reject our beliefs. All are admitted. Yet, they cannot participate in the sacred mysteries that are the Sacraments; if they have not been instructed or reject those beliefs, they cannot be admitted for they are not in union with the Church.

I would argue that the early preparation given to the catechumens of that age probably better served to reveal the importance of the sacraments and the holiness of the Mass, far more so than the current (and typical) RCIA models do. Do I think we should make a return to what they had to do in the first centuries? Perhaps not; what was proper then might not be proper now, although I suspect that in places like India, the Sudan, and Saudia Arabia, this probably IS a more likely practice than that which we have here in America.

Persecution and suffering tends to impress upon those affected the holiness and grace of God far more than we butter-fed prosperous countries can muster on even our worst of days.

Something for us all to consider as we enter into perhaps the only season of "persecution" many of us have ever known.

Disclaimer:

I'm not overly familiar with early Church history as it applies to the Mass and Sacraments, so tried to keep my comments general. It's entirely possible that I erred in some of my statements, and so this post should not be taken as gospel fact. I would encourage anyone reading this to read formal documentation of this history, and definitely click on the link to St. Justin Martyr's 1st Apology.

Further, it's not intended to be a complete discourse on St. Justin Martyr or any of the other listed Saints, only a general explanation. I am not an expert in anything.

Another great resource is Rod Bennett's Four Witnesses; the Early Church in Her Own Words , available from Ignatius Press. I've read this book and cannot recommend it highly enough, especially for those who are unfamiliar with the Church Fathers and life in the Early Church.

Everyone's an Expert

Disclaimer: I'm about to be brutally honest but there's an apology at the end.And my own advice for you, for which as you see, I'm entitled. I'm still sorry. Please forgive me.

Cornering the Professional

It's a plague in our society, and one we ALL face, if from different perspectives.

Imagine this: you go to a summer barbecue and while you're catching up with a friend you haven't seen in awhile, you overhear a conversation a few feet away. Out of the corner of your eye you see the person being accosted is looking around desperately for a way to make a quick exit. And you notice this because you yourself have worn that same mask of polite listening while your mind has been working overtime to both listen so as to respond with gentility and yet somehow find a way to be "busy" immediately.

What's going on?

Well, the interlocutor has just found out the deer-in-the-headlights guy is a doctor and she wants some advice on a growth on the back of her neck, or maybe about her husband's club foot or her daughter's "womanly problems" (and said daughter is on the far side of the nearby picnic table wearing an expression of horror as she realizes her mother is divulging very sensitive and private information to someone with whom she now must socialize).

In fact, when she meets that doctor, to whom her mother is going to learn is single and available, she knows that doctor is going to be thinking, “Honey, you’re nice but I know WAY too much about your vagina and don’t want to live my life hearing about it from your mother!”

But he’ll shake your hand politely as you blush because you BOTH know what’s really going on and you BOTH forgive each other if not your mother in that moment. And maybe you end up getting married and raising a family together in spite of all that improper personal information.

Oh, yes. We've all seen it happen, if not with the Disney ending, and we've all been on the wrong end of that scenario, (maybe not exactly, I hope!) Perhaps we've even been the offending party. (And really, I HOPE NOT and sorry guys, but that is REALLY what some mothers will do!)

Now, in that particular scenario, it is legitimate experts who are being questioned and asked to give free advice. If you're a doctor, a lawyer, a police officer, an insurance broker or agent, insurance claims adjuster, or nurse (among other careers!) you're reading this and nodding along, because YOU'VE been the one trying to flee the conversation more times than you can count! In your personal life, you hear more intimate permissionless details about more people and their problems than you do in a single day at the office! Continue nodding....I know this is true. If you're NOT nodding, then you were hired only yesterday. Read this post again in a week.

In our society, expertise is highly valued, as it should be, and to be fair, most people DO respect the fact that these professionals are entitled to time off. They do NOT need to be accosted at church events, random barbecues, cotillions, quinceaneros, picnics, or while waiting in line at the grocery store. They knew, going into their fields, that their area of expertise was going to subject them to people without boundaries, but they are still human and even the greatest of experts among us need some time off before they burn out and people die because they are so stressed from never having time to be a human being that they start making bad decisions and amputate the head instead of the appendix. Or in court, maybe they'll defend a divorce instead of a murder (although there's not much difference.)

Armchair Quarterbacks

The funny thing is, though, that with all this advice-asking going around, there are also a lot of people who are sudden "experts" in any given category that simply has their interest. If Mr. Offensive Interlocultor actually got an answer from a lawyer on a complicated legal issue when accosting the poor guy at a social event, he suddenly becomes a legal expert and will pass on his incomplete advice to someone with any kind of a related issue. And thus, his unprofessional "advice" is actually quite distorted for even HE didn't get a complete answer and in fact, selectively ignored the very REAL advice of the attorney trying to get away from him, to hire his own counsel so that the case could be evaluated accurately and resolved appropriately.

Oh, yes, we all know people who fit into this category as well.

When it comes to people who are in very serious need, though, amazingly the default of most people is to limit their OWN advice and to direct that person to a competent authority for their problem. They might have names of people with whom they've had good experiences, proper professional offices or organizations and the like. They realize, even if they are usually from the advice-giver category that some things are still too big for them and in their sincere good will, they know someone else is better qualified. I find it very interesting that in these cases, those people take a step back and become champion supporters and for once, hold their tongues and ask, "what does your doctor say?" or "what does your lawyer say?" before they hop into presumption-of-personal-expert mode and start advising away.

(Flannery O'Connor might disagree with the above paragraph, but I'm trying to assume the best of people.)

I think if I were to study sociology, I'd do a dissertation on this particular social behavior encompassed in this post.

Of course, as you might expect, I have another point to make.

Vocational Experts Without a License

All of the above goes out the window or is entirely reversed in the case of vocational discernment.

If a man or woman reveals that they are discerning a religious vocation, or priesthood, even if they've done a great deal of research, have a spiritual director, a discernment group, etc., suddenly everyone OUTSIDE of those groups becomes a self-appointed expert.

Suddenly, the person or people who know the MOST about the topic are relegated to the intellectual and spiritual equivalent of an infant. People who know NOTHING about what the discerner has been through or what OFFICIAL advice they have been given and which they are faithfully following take them "under their wings" and immediately start firing off completely unneeded or even illogical advice about what they should do, where they should go, what they should be doing, the pitfalls, and even try to DICTATE specific communities or seminaries to them!

This type of advice also assumes the person's spiritual advisor or group must be fully incompetent or the person in question would already be a priest, professed religious, or 20 years married.

My dear readers, I know this for two reasons: I've experienced it repeatedly and because I blog about it, I've gotten emails and Facebook messages from other people experiencing the SAME DANG THING!

It's a PLAGUE I tell you! A plague!

What's really annoying is that many of the advice-givers will impart their lack of wisdom while pointing out smugly that "God speaks through people who know and love you!" so as to shut down any possibility that we can turn down their “obviously-perfect” expertise about something they've never actually discerned for themselves.

We who are discerning are also aware that most of our self-appointed prophets aren't actually privy to the Divine Processions, and if they were, they wouldn't all be giving advice that directly conflicts with that of everyone else and that of our own Spiritual Directors or those of similar privileged status.

I really find this to be fascinating, and really can't explain it without more study, and maybe something scientific (as opposed to pure experience/observation).

Why IS it, exactly, that, outside of the discernment of vocation, people are ASKING advice, but when it comes to this topic, they are ALL experts?

Why IS it that when a woman says she is considering religious life everyone has a favorite CARMELITE monastery?

Why is it that when she says she likes the Dominicans everyone assumes she's never heard of the Nashville Dominicans (Dominican Sisters of St. Cecelia) or their offshoot, the Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist? Where do you think she got her first interest in the Dominicans (given this culture)? And why can’t they understand that the fact she knows about them, she is not discerning them any longer for specific reasons?

Or of course, when she says she's discerned some Order or Congregation, the unsolicited "expert", without batting an eye, immediately begins to discuss how she should prepare to enter the local Carmelite monastery and she herself would be willing to accompany her and will arrange the entrance Mass?

Why is it that even when the discerner says God is leading her to visit a particular convent, everyone STILL suggests she check out 10 other of their favorite communities, and the first on their list is a Carmelite cloister, perhaps the one in India?

Seriously. I wish I was kidding.

 The second to the favorite Carmelites are the Franciscan communities, which often, people who recommend them don't even know whether they wear habits or not, or what their apostolate is or whether or not they are faithful to the Magisterium of have their own brand of "Catholicism".

These "experts" usually don't know the first thing about what they're recommending.

I'm sorry, but it's true. I’ve experienced nearly ALL of the above. What I haven’t, other discerners who have contacted me HAVE.

We’re not angry!!!! Please note and read on! 

We’re just exhausted from the battle to stay true to the course we’re on while fending off the improper course and timeline YOU think we’re supposed to be following.

The reality is, we suspect, is that unsolicited "experts" actually are taking an opportunity to give their own view, perhaps because they never properly discerned their OWN vocation and are trying to live vicariously through those who are. Maybe they just want to feel needed. Maybe giving advice is something they do every minute of every day and they aren't aware they're doing it.

The one thing I do find to be constant is that those who give advice DO HONESTLY CARE and unfortunately, they're also very sensitive sorts who take it personally when someone doesn't seem to want or need their advice. They will feel very hurt for a very long time if their advice isn't followed or accepted without question.

And actually, that's what makes these recent blog posts so hard. Because I KNOW that in outright refusing and even condemning unsolicited advice, I am unintentionally offending people I have no desire to offend.

But I'm not a rug and am tired of feeling like one. If that offends some people, so be it.

Discernment is hard enough without having to go around feeling like we have to defend and justify our actions, lack of actions, feelings or lack of feelings, decisions or lack of decisions at every single turn.

I feel I have to speak up on behalf of myself and EVERYONE in discernment because we're tired of being offended ourselves by people who don't seem to think that we can possibly interpret God's will for us without them. And yes, often unsolicited advice is outright offensive. And no, we don't tell you this because we love you, too, and know that your intentions are good and that you don't mean any offense either!

Again...if you've been strong enough to read this far, please know, we love you, we respect you, we thank you for your prayers and support. But please, please, please, stop telling us inane things like "stop trying so hard!" or "go to this monastery" or "give up your dog now so you don't have to find someone later" or "My niece entered X abbey, and she's happy so you would be too". And dear God, if I hear one more time of the rumor that I am delaying because I'm looking for "the prettiest habit" I think I might puke. Really; I don't care about fashion NOW, what makes you think I care about religious fashions? (Except for the habit thing; I do desire to wear a habit for I have discerned it is important. That has no bearing on what others discern...only me.)

We have certain people to whom we are listening. We have certain people who know more details, respect us enough to know we're trying as hard as we need to, and who have assured us that our agony isn't a type that needs comfort, for it is a purifying agony that a vacation with our dog or cat or a ski trip out West won't cure (especially in July when Aspen is devoid of useful snow). *sigh...my dust-gathering skis...*

One more point: the people I know who are legitimate experts in things RARELY offer their advice without being asked, and if they do so, they do so cautiously and with a disclaimer. There are a few people in my life who are not in my designated set of advisors and to whom I will listen because they are "experts" who cautiously advance their advice, and are humble enough to realize I might ignore them (and that it's not personal!). In their advice, they encourage me to go to my SD, they encourage me to ignore them if their advice conflicts with anything "official", etc.

Please be gentle with people who are discerning their Vocations. If you are privileged enough to hear them express to you, through a blog or personally, that they have been or are going through a rough time, please do not minimize the experience, don’t “poo-poo” it, don’t try to “fix” it in any way.

They know where to go.

Especially in the case of “blog revelation”, know that unless you know this person directly, you probably don’t have the right to offer any advice at all. And if you DO know them personally and they haven't asked you directly for advice...well...then you're not one of the few. Sorry. Again: nothing personal. They love you. Be assured of that. 

To my friend-readers who know me personally, know that I love you and thank you with every fibre of my being and if it weren't for your PRAYERS or physical support (watching my dog, my house, driving me to the airport and picking me up, paying my mortgage for 2 months, taking my Adoration hour on the Saturdays I'm gone, etc), I wouldn't be able to focus so much on God's voice that HAS to come out of the fray.

This post is not personal. It’s not directed at anyone. And in fact, it was written on behalf of all souls, everywhere, who are discerning Vocations and have been the hapless recipients of well intentioned people who would be horrified if they knew the angst they were causing with their own “advice”.

I apologize to all my readers and my friends, whether you read this now or will find out about it in the future. I hope my honesty isn’t hurtful for anyone.

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May the peace of Christ be with you, always. And please continue to support Vocations to the priesthood and religious life! Remember advice is cheap...it is only hard labor that really expresses love.

Jesus made that VERY plain to us all when He suffered His Passion and died on the Cross for us. If that's not hard labor, I don't know what is!

As I recall, Jesus didn't give advice from the Cross...he was too busy living it as an example to the rest of us.

Now...go overwhelm your parish Vocations Committee  with offers to drive people to the airport, watch pets, pay debts, etc etc etc that applies to legitimate need. Prayers and ACTION make Vocations happen. Not advice.

God bless you all, and again...thank you.

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