Epiphany

For months now, I haven't been posting very often. Sometimes I struggle to come up with one post per week. It amazes me that I continue to have followers. Please forgive me, but at times I think I only have followers because my blog is like a train wreck- once you look you just can't look away!

I've been considering putting this blog out of its misery, but truly, it has been an outlet for me and I am reminded I'm not being paid for my work; it carries with it no regular obligation. You, dear readers, apparently continue to follow because on occasion, you find that I have something to say, something that resonates with your own spiritual life, lived experience, questions about theology...or something. For that, I thank you. When it comes down to it, whenever I consider sticking a fork in this mess, I realize ultimately that it isn't really about me. None of us live lives that are all about us; we are living for God, for His people. Or at least we're trying in our own fallen way.

Granted, I love to write, but it is often a laborious task.When I post, I want to do so by way of adding something to the blogosphere, something different, something, well, hopefully holy. (Oh, you know how often I fail at that...!)  So it is that when I stop to consider this labor, I am forced to realize that perhaps not only is this something that I occasionally love, but it is also a sacrifice. It is one of the ways I can offer to lay my life down for God, for others, even though the disconnect that is the internet means I will never see "the faces" of those who linger but do not comment. I will never truly know the impact, for good or evil, of my words, of my life - and that's as it should be. The former would tempt pride, the latter, despair.

So it is that I will continue this blog as before, although I do not know what direction it will take, or how often I will write. I don't know if the words will appear I'm squeezing blood out of a rock, or whether they will flow freely. I only know that I must continue, for even if I say nothing new, even if my words don't matter, I am a single Christian doing my best to follow my Savior, and often failures in holiness speak more clearly to the Glory and Mercy of God than do the greatest successes.

Thank you all, dear readers, for continuing to follow this little work of mine. Thank you for your support and prayers over the years, for walking with me through the light and shadows that encompass this earthly pilgrimage. Thank you, both original readers who have been there from the beginning (are any of you still there or have I chased you away?) and thank you to my newer followers. I value you all and keep you also in my prayers.

God bless you as we continue through the Christmas season and celebrate a new start in 2011! 

(and remember...Christmas doesn't end until the Baptism of Our Lord!)