When I was a little girl, I used to love to hang out in the garden. I used to sit with my feet in the dirt and soak up the sun, and just be thankful to be alive. I loved the world, I loved everyone in it, and there's just something about the summer afternoons with the vegetables that just makes me feel "alive"!
So I've decided to do it. I'm taking the leap, and my family is very supportive of this. I've always seen my place in the garden to be to push the boundaries, and finally, I've found someone, a gardener and a horticultural specialist, to declare me a tomato.
I have painted my legs green, and my hair also, and just LOVE the new look! And I've got the most perfectly red-orange dress, rounded out and fitted in at the hem to appear to be bulging. Once I'm settled and hanging out in the summer sun for awhile, my complexion will turn red, too, so the transformation can be complete.
I'm not going to take any vows of obedience to the gardener-horticulturist who is declaring my status--he's just a tool in the shed, and I'm just using his "authority". I declare as my authority only the dirt I stick my feet in because that's what makes us grow. Just the dirt and the minerals are my guide. Now, I haven't actually bothered to study how they work, or what the minerals actually are, but I'm sure that it'll work just fine once I'm firmly planted.
My spot is all picked out and I'll be starting tomorrow. I've already been growing in the garden for weeks, but I'm just now coming out about it, and the ceremony with the gardener is going to make it formal.
It's ridiculous that so many people say that I can't be a tomato. They're just old-fashioned, and they don't understand. What a bunch of Creationists. I'm the Creator! I get to decide because I've discerned that those who are in charge of the gardener and the vegetables don't know what they're talking about After all, I took a class in landscaping and horticulture and it's perfectly ok for me to become a tomatoe.
Well, the dirt is calling me, I must be getting to my ministry in the garden. The cucumbers are clamboring for attention and the sugar snap peas seem a little wrinkled...they could use some enlightenment. Maybe I'll tell them that they can become grapes if that will make them feel more fulfilled.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: If a bunch of misguided women can be "ordained" a "Roman Catholic priestess" then I can certainly have a gardener declare me a tomato. The "ceremony" carries just as much substance and the transformation is just as "real". And if were're going to talk reality, they are no more "priests" than I am a tomato. Unfortunately, since they cannot consecrate the bread and wine into the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Christ, they are adoring only pieces of bread, thus they have also made themselves idolators. Please pray for them.
At least if they had been sensible and declared themselves to be some form of fruit or vegetable, we could offer them medication to treat their disorder, but unfortunately, only prayer and fasting can cure what they have...spiritual sickness. Please keep these women in your prayers and all those they may lead astray. Pray Divine Mercy, for the Lord is merciful, thus there is time for conversion.
14 comments:
Adoro:
When can we expect your first encyclical on The Vegetable or Fruit question?
Well, I hope, Adoro, you didn't create yourself as a Big Boy, a Giant Belgium or a Green Zebra!
Perhaps an Early Girl, a Tigrella or a Sweet 100.
Hopefully when you are prolific enough, you will arrange to have bags of extras left in the vestibule of St Blog's Parish for those of us without gardens.
As an aside, my family still talks about the year that my Dad decided to grow tomatoes for the family when it was just him and my Mom at home. I believe that he put in about six plants and staked and watered them carefully.
Well, that turned out to be the "Bumper Year of the Century" for tomato growers and Mom had tomatoes for breakfast, lunch and supper, tomatoe sandwiches and just about anything else that could be made with tomatoes.
Being Depression era folks they never could have thrown them away and for some reason they never thought to call us to come and pick some up or give some away at work or at Church.
My Mom never ate another tomato again for the remaining 20 years of her life.
Ah, the Encyclical.
Actually, I plan to pontificate on my belief that, vegetable or fruit, we should all be tolerant of each other, and if we want to switch categories, we can do so at any time. We are only limited by ourselves because we create ourselves and we have to rely on the fruit or vegetable within to guide our decisions.
In my garden, we don't use the field guide except as a way of identifying how to tolerate our neighbor. There is no good or bad fruit or vegetable...they are only what we project onto them.
So if you have a cucumber, just think if it as a zucchini and you'll be fine.
There's enough room in the garden for all of us and it doesn't matter what we really believe as long as we keep our feet in the dirt and keep reaching for the vines.
How does the saying go? "You are what you eat"? In any case, I'm sure you are lovable whether you are a human or a tomato. There is no need to be something else I'm sure. . .unless of course you really feel the need to change for the better, but is a veggie better than a human being? Well who knows in the whole scheme of things? Human beings could not survive without them, our food, and their molecules become one with our bodies. As for being planted in the dirt, the body goes there after your life is done to become part of the "cycle of life" in which the way God has created all things; here one day in some form, only to become something else in the future. Some day, your remains may very well become a part of some future tomato vine which nourishes other human beings and provides life for them. . .but for now, you can be who you are and I'm sure you can be loved, maybe not as much as I love a delicious tomato, but the people who you are in close contact with can probably love you more than they love their tomatoes. Have you thought about becoming asparagus? I REALLY love asparagus.
A,
I know of some women who recently turned themselves into bona fide nuts.
Does that count?
;)
ma beck,
Well, that is pretty much the point of my post...after all, if women can decide to be "ordained" as "Roman Catholic Priestesses", then I can certainly have someone "ordain" me as a tomato.
I'm not sure, though, that everyone who has read this post has gotten the point of what I was saying...should I post a link or just a quick comment about the parallel to the "ordinations"?
I guess those women are ahead of their time. . .either that or Catholic leaders are behind everyone else. In any case, I seriously doubt Jesus would turn them away. I think you should "comment" on the women; its always interesting to see what Christians say about their fellow Christians, most especially the older generation. . .and what they say about Jews, Baptists, you name it. Everyone seems to be going to hell except for the people who belong to "the chosen" exclusive club. We have VERY different ideas about what kind of God has created us all. It think its a shame people make God out to be some hateful old man, ready to kill and send eveyone to hell for not belonging to some exclusive, hateful, bigoted Church club. Obviously, the men only priesthood isn't working anymore. . .in case you haven't figured that out. It works in the poorest countries, mostly because becoming a priest is a better way of life financially, but its still dying out in the Western World. Maybe God is moving those women and others who support them.
don,
Thank you for taking the time to comment. However, your comments definitely display that you do not understand the theology behind the male only priesthood.
Furthermore, NO ONE has condemned these women to Hell...in fact, that is against the Catholic religion. We cannot EVER presume someone's soul is damned, although that idea is thrust upon us as though it is our own.
Let me give you a small lesson in theology...God does not damn anyone to Hell...He does not want a single soul ever to go there. Hell is eternal seperation from God, and it is our sins (actions) which seperates us from God. Those who go there actually CHOOSE hell...they choose to turn their backs on God.
God is not some hateful old man..the problem is that today's society has lost the sense of sin in favor of doing whatever feels good. It is society who has projected that image, just like a spoiled child. Have you ever seen a child upset with his or her parents after the parents have set a limit and told the child "no, you cannot do that and if you do, you will suffer the consequences." The child pouts and screams and says that he or she hates their parents and they're big meanies. I used to do it myself and I've never known a chld not to have a temper tantrum like this.
Our culture is like that and you have given a great example. Thank you then, for making my point. Although we have grown up, we still rebel against consequences and limits being set, as you are doing.
As far as the male only priesthood not working...by whose estimation? Yours? Sorry, you're hardly an authority on the Catholic Church. The reality is that Vocations to the priesthood and religious life are EXPLODING in parishes which are faithful, teach what the Church has always taught....ie that abortion is wrong, contraception is wrong, we must partake in the sacraments, etc. Last year my own archdiocese ordained 16 men, both young and older vocations, and both seminaries in my area are full.
Contrary to your opinion, then, the priesthood is NOT dying out.
Furthermore, the Church is not a democratic organization...it is a divine organization, formed by Jesus Christ himself, and guided by the Holy Spirit just as Jesus promised in the New Testament. Truth is not determined by a vote, as you seem to believe, and these women are certainly NOT priests, no matter what they call themselves....at the very least, they are not Roman Catholic.
They are Protestant and they have begun a new religion, and as they have not taken a vow of obedience to anyone, they have seperated themselves from the Church...even their own.
That is NOT of the Holy Spirit, my friend.
Just as an important side note...they ARE excommunicated by their actions, but the Church does not need to declare them so to make that true. It goes back to making the choice to turn away from God. The Vatican does not need to speak on this as they already have done so...anyone who partakes in such a ceremony seperates, or excommunicates, themselves from the Church. THey have left the Catholic faith.
That's not the same as saying they are going to Hell, as you suggest, but according to our beliefs, they have committed very grave (mortal) sin and thus are in danger of Hell...because grave sin is turning one's back on God. However, should they care to come back to the Church, they can go to Confession with a true spirit of repentance, renounce their actions and their platform of pro-abortion, pro-contraception and all the other crap they proclaim, and they will be welcomed home.
I fully expect in a few years to see some of these women being interviewed by Marcus Grodi on The Journey Home when they realize the folly their pride has led them into and they do return Hom to the Church.
I'm so sorry that you have not taken the time to understand the religion you denigrate so much. I would be happy to point you to solid Catholic teaching so that you may read about our faith in depth, that is if you are serious about learning about it.
Thanks, but no; I was a seminarian for several years. . .but what you said about those women "turning their backs to God" and about them being in deadly sin because they want to serve God as priests makes me think that either you are worshipping a false God or you have a very twisted idea of God. And as I've said before, if people don't follow your religion, you believe they are condemned to hell. You can try to argue your way around it and say that isn't what you believe, but it doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. Also, trying to tell me that vocations to the priesthood are "exploding" in some places doesn't mean that overall the numbers have been steadily going down. Reality is a good thing and so is the truth. Furthermore, I think that if you believe only people who are studied in theology are capable of attaining heaven, again, you must have a VERY different God than I and I'm not sure I would want that God; "He" sounds like a real jerk.
don,
Clearly you had some really horrible formation.
And don't twist my words or dictate to me what I or the Church believes. Again, you have proven yourself to be no authority.
The Church has no authority to ordain women. End of story. You can agree or disagree, and that does not change the truth.
What you are saying is simply not true...we believe that the Catholic Church has the "fullness of the faith", but that other Christian religions are also part of the mystical Body of Christ, and certainly, they can attain heaven. Additionaly, there are people all over the world who have not been exposed to Christianity, or might be people such as yourself who have been wronged by people who have no idea what they are talking about. We certainly do NOT believe that people of other faiths are automatically damned.
Stop forcing your own personal beliefs and misunderstandings upon the Church and pick up a Catechism. The teachings are clear.
Where exactly did I say that in order to get to Heaven one must be studied in theology? I challenge you to find the quote. Suggesting that you take time to learn about the faith you are condeming is not nearly the same thing.
My friend, between you and me, it's not God who is behaving like a jerk and I have a right to defend my faith from your unjustified and unsupported attacks.
You're not the only anti-Catholic to have publicly claimed to have been a seminaria. Some prominent associates of Jack Chick have done the same thing.
Get a new gig, yours is worn out.
It is pretty clear that the Roman Catholic Church has the divinely granted authority, inspired by the Holy Spirit, to manage its own affairs.
Matthew 16:
15 He said to them, "But who do you say that I am?"
16 Simon Peter said in reply, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."
17 Jesus said to him in reply,
"Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father.
18 And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church, and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.
19 I will give you the keys to the kingdom of heaven. Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."
-------
Those who are in favor of the ordination of women don't stop there.
They are generally in favor of abortion, birth control, divorce and remarriage, in vitro fertilization, embryonic stem cell research, private confession of sins when they believe in sin at all and salvation for all believers, no matter what they believe in.
The Bible, the Commandments, tradition the writings of the great Doctors of the Church and the teaching of the Popes and the Bishops have no relevance or importance for the 21st century thinker who believes that everything starts with him or her.
It is is good that some seminarians realize that they shouldn't be priests after all.
don cavazos:
I agree with all that Adoro and Ray said. Priests are stand ins for the Christ (in persona Christi), Jesus was not a woman. As a former dissident and radical fem, I don't recall anyone even in THAT movement claiming Jesus was a woman.
Women have plenty of opportunities to serve the church. All of us, whether male or female, are called to serve. But, yes, as in life, there are clearly defined roles.
A big art of being a Christian is acceptance and humility. In our time, it is radical to happily accept that there are certain roles that we ALL cannot fill.
Peace be with you.
Cathy_of_Alex made mention of "humility" something that should be made more of in a society where the chief of the deadly sins, Pride, is at the root of all evil.
LITANY OF HUMILITY
(accustomed to be said after celebration of Mass, by Merry Cardinal del Val, secretary of state to Pope Saint Pius X)
(for private prayer only)
O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, O Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, O Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I go unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
Well, you really haven't convinced me of anything really. I still think that women can be priests and obviously can since other Christians allow it. The Catholic Church has usually been behind in just about everything throughout history, sometimes several hundred years behind. And despite what you might think, I don't see myself as "attacking" the Catholic Church by saying women should be allowed to be priests. And finally, if someone in history is able to say that a piece of bread and wine can become flesh and blood, then your argument about anyone becoming whatever they want, even a tomato, sounds ridiculous since you believe that bread and wine are being majically changed into flesh and blood at Mass. I applaud all the women who are taking the steps to making this a much better world, Lord knows current religions sure aren't doing a very good job of it, on the contrary, they seem to be making the world a very screwed up place for future generations; obviously somebody has to do SOMETHING and it looks as if God is moving women into more leadership roles. I'm happy for them and I hope it continues to encourage many more to do the same and to go even further. . . sorry that you think it sounds as if I'm attacking your religion for thinking that way. My strengths are in music performance and the visual arts since that is what I've studied, but I am also spiritual by nature and am usually aware that God is present. I'm also aware that other things are also present in this world which oppose the good.
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