Vacation's End

It is with a heavy heart I return to work tomorrow morning.

Yep. I've been on vacation all week, and you know what I did? A whole bunch a' nuthin'! It was GREAT! I relaxed, I slept in (usually until 7 am), I stayed up late (1:00 am was the latest one night), I putzed around, I hung out with some friends on the weekend nights, and in general, I had a good time.

But tomorrow I go back to work, and with that, I pay for this week. The work that wasn't done when I left has compounded and I will no doubt come back to many many voice mails from people asking why I haven't returned their calls, when my greeting clearly states in both English and Spanish that I am out of the office and to call X at X number until the Tuesday after Memorial Day. Tomorrow is a day to return all those voice mails and complete damage control with unhappy customers who can't be bothered to actually LISTEN to both my warnings before I left and my greeting while I was gone.

No doubt that we will also have a very busy day with new assignments as Memorial Day weekend usually brings out the worst in people and crime victims and fraud mongers will be pounding down my door begging for help YESTERDAY and demanding service NOW in spite of the fact that I can't possibly do everything in one day, or even in one week.

That's what I hate about vacations. Coming back. And since this is our busy season, it is not going to get better any time soon. Such is life.

But on the up side, I had my hair cut and hilighted over my days off and it is much shorter and the highlights are much redder! Yay!

I've been considering again a return to school. Perhaps the wisest course would be to obtain a Master's in Instruction, and then maybe I could become a teacher. I'd like to teach religion, but for that, I think I'd need more formal education in theology, and I know I can't swing both when I can't even truly entertain the idea of one.

What I need is a huge miracle which will enable me to pay my mortgage, the vet bills, the student loans, the car, and then tuition, and allow me to quit my job to focus on better things.

Or maybe Prince Charming will enter the scene and we'll get married and he'll pay the bills and walk the dogs so I can go back to school.

Yeah, right.

I don't wanna go back to work. Who DOESN'T feel this way on the last day of vacation?

To Veil or Not to Veil

I have intended to blog about this topic prior to this, but just never got around to it. I've found that the timing with everything has to be right, and often, my timing is not. But tonight, it's time. I happened over to WardWideWeb and there I found a GREAT explanation as to the correct reason for choosing to wear a mantilla.

Somewhere around a year or so ago, I noticed several people in my parish veiling. The headcoverings varied from hats to scarves to lace mantillas, the latter of which were sold in the church gift shop. (Yes, my parish has a gift shop. It's a Catholic mega-church and in spite of myself, I love it). Anyway, as could be predicted, the mantillas and other headcoverings were more prolific in the three daily Masses than in the Sunday liturgies, but just the same, I began to sense a call to cover my head.

I purchased a black lace mantilla and I'll admit the first time I wore it I was a bit self-conscious, but in time, that feeling went away. I still wear my veil at Mass and in the Adoration Chapel to remind me that I am in a holy place and the lace on my peripheral reminds me to direct my worship to the Lord and away from the random thoughts which plague me at the worst possible time.

I also have a white lace mantilla which is worn on the more special occasions.

Of late, though, as I've gone though a rather intense period of dryness, I have questioned my wearing the veil. Am I doing so for the right reasons? Am I trying to appear to be more holy?

I will tell you the reasons I began to veil, but in order for you to really understand, you need a summary of my history. While I was in high school,I began to cultivate a feminist attitude. This attitude became a chip on my shoulder during college as I studied for Law Enforcement. I later became a firefighter, and I fear some of the feminity I held was in danger of being lost among the androgynous culture perpetuated by the lesbian lobby. (that's a whole different story).

I still joke around that my friends in college thought I was just another guy. I actually was dismayed to learn only a couple of years ago that some of the guys took bets that I might actually be a lesbian!

Anyway, I had fallen away from my faith and continued to be away for many years. It took a long time to come back, and this is something I did with a HUGE dose of God's grace and a lot of study.

Finally, I reverted to the faith of my childhood, and it seems it was permanent, and maybe something in me was seeking an outward sign. And outward committment to somthing I had internally realized. When I saw others wearing the veil, I understood, finally, what was missing. I had not realized my modesty, nor had I ever really accepted my feminity in the way other woman had. Now, I am not a "girly-girl", and truth be told, I never have been. That tomboyishness remains around and within me, but believe you me, I am feminine through and through. But something happens when I enter God's house; I understand that I am a woman; and perhaps someday I will be the woman He created me to be. I am a woman in His image and everywhere, I see His mother upheld as an example of femininity. She is veiled. She always points the way to Jesus and in doing so, she is a leader among all women, as well as men.

I heard the call to imitate Our Lady and I have found, through wearing the veil, that no matter what I am outside of Mass, when I arrive to worship, I am a woman of God, and nothing else matters. The veil is a sign of modesty and submission to God. It is a reminder of the holiness of our location, and I do need this reminder at times.

Allow me to explain.

I may not be a girly-girl, but I am ALL ABOUT my hair. Yup. God blessed me with good hair and I've heard about it all my life. And even though I am in my 30's, I'm still playing with it. I love to color it and go from one color to another drastically. For example...red to jet black. And the cool thing is that these colors look GOOD on me. Last fall I actually had my hair colored professionally for the first time in my life, and I got hilights. What did I do? I had her color my hair jet black with unnaturally red streaks. It was not neon, but close. Now, I am a sensible woman, and so we went conservative so the look was appealing. The red faded to a nice auburn for which I recieved many compliments.

Just this week I had it colored again, and cut, and guess what? More red this time. Less conservative. And when the sun hits my hair, I KNOW that it glows. I love this.

You may be asking what my point is, and some of you may already undestand. I am vain of my hair. Yup. My hair is my best feature and I like to show it off. But a line has to be drawn, and I do so at Mass. I don't go to Mass to look good or recieve compliments. I go to worship God. He already knows all about my hair, and my veiling it for Him is a form of modesty. It's a small way of my saying to Him, "Ok, this is not about me, but all about YOU, and so I will cover myself so that I become smaller and YOU absorb all the attention which is so rightfully due to you."

I was thinking recently of not veiling anymore. The "craze" seems to have died down and some who used to veil do not anymore. I have gone to Mass a couple times without it, and although I felt somewhat naked, it was OK.

Then a point was brought home to me. I went to my regular adoration hour a few weeks ago, and did not wear my veil. Now, during my hour, I like to sit up close to Jesus, so I am in front of other people. That's not usually an issue, for everyone has their favored places in the chapel, and those places rarely overlap.

Well, one day, a gentleman who has the hour before me stayed late. I remember that he left after I arrived, but for some reason returned and apparently stayed awhile. As he was leaving the second time he came forward and knelt near the front pew, directly in front of the Blessed Sacrament. I was not distracted and paid him little mind.

Then he leaned over as he stood, and said to me, "Boy, kid, you sure do have pretty hair!"

He finished his goodbyes to Jesus and went on his way.

There I sat, veil-less, wearing a pony-tail, realizing that had I worn my veil as usual, this man would not have felt the need to compliment me. I was not there to be complimented. And what's worse, I feel that my hair actually distracted this man enough to divert him from his own prayer. Now, is that my problem? No, it is not. We all have distractions but the reality is that I have taken pains for my hair to be noticed in certain times, and this incident reminded me that thus, I have a certain obligation to NOT be a distraction to others.

Y'all, I'm no beauty queen. I'm not Rapunzel, but I am a woman with bright red streaks and let's face it...that does tend to garner attention. And during Mass or Adoration, that is NOT the time to garner anyone's attention. So I veil.

Some may argue that's the wrong reason, but in my heart, I have come to understand that it's the right thing to do. I will not lobby for all to wear the veil, for I don't think that's necessary. It would just be seen as another law, and some would resent it.

I would like to see more formal education on the topic. Last summer I was accused of being disobedient to the Magesterium for wearing the mantilla, and my explanations (Including history of it) fell upon deaf ears. She referred to my mantialla as a "doily". I had to remimnd her that it is blessed and is therefore, a sacramental. She accused me of being disobdient because the American Bishops have not spoken on the subject, either yay or nay.

(As an aside; I found her argument preposterous, and it was only with great restraint that I prohibited myself from pointing out the fact that the American Bishops also have not spoken out on her personal devotion to praying in the ORANS position during Mass and singing in tongues at charismatic Masses and otherwise in public....but that's another story).

The reality is this; wearing the veil is a personal devotion. God may speak to us all in different ways, and maybe some of us need the equivalent of blinders used on horses to keep our attention forward. I do not want anyone to see me as other than a sinner in need of correction, for ultimately, that is why I veil. There are many acceptable reasons to veil, and they may vary from person to person. For myself, it's my vanity and a certain reminder that I am a woman after Mary's own heart, and God has willed it this way. He has willed that I be a Catholic woman, to follow in her footsteps and point the way to Jesus for others. I don't have to be a religious sister for this; I need only recognize that as a woman, I have a duty in God's service, as do we all.

We do not cover our heads out of submission to men. I abhor the thought! We do not cover our heads to stand out or seem more holy than others. We cover our heads out of respect for the Lord who is present.

If we as women go to visit the Pope, we are to veil ourselves. How much greater is Jesus than his Vicar? Isn't the decision to veil, then, in the presence of Christ obvious?

Is there any more to be said? (or as usual, have I been too-long winded?)

God bless you all, as always.

Thank God for Nurses!

Over the last couple days, I have been progressively losing the hearing in my left ear. Today I went to work with a loss of equilibrium, most likely psychosomatic, due to this condition. I had tried the home remedies, and had to concede failure...it was time to go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor. And usually, I can avoid the experience, but this time...not so much.

So I called and made an appointment with anyone because I was desperate. I would have been happy to see the janitor, but they did find me an appointment with a doctor at the clinic.

I was led to an examination room by a nursing student, and she was very nice. Very motherly, and very capable. She was empathetic, and still businesslike. I have no doubt she will graduate with honors.

She left and the doctor came in and we spoke for literally twenty seconds. No doubt the insurance company will be billed for over $100.00 for his time.

He asked me what I was there for, so I told him I couldn't hear out of my left ear, it was plugged. He asked me what I was reading (I had a book- Sophia House), and I told him the short description, "It's about a guy who harbors a Jewish boy during the Nazi occupation of Poland," and he introduced himself. Of course I couldn't hear him and I had to ask him to repeat. His introduction was totally out of the order of the usual script. I was at a loss. Usually the introduction comes BEFORE the icebreaking question about the book.

I felt like an idiot. I wish someone had given me this doctor's script for if they had, I could have responded appropriately to his introduction.

Anyway, he confirmed the ear canal was blocked. He told me matter-of-factly that I needed an ear wash.

Ok

He asked me if I'd ever had a punctured ear drum? No. Or ear surgery of any kind? No.

"Then you can have one!" the doctor proclaimed, as though he were passing his affirmative judgment with regard to having a lollipop after confirming I'd already eaten my vegetables. I was amused.

He shook my hand (that usually comes with the intro), told me he was sending in a nurse, and left.

Tell me again...why does our culture revere doctors so much? I just don't get it.

On the other hand, another nurse comes in, and tells me that this ear problem is striking many people, and I am not the first person this week with no prior history of such a problem. Ever. She does her job efficiently, and effectively, and the next thing I know, I can hear her speak by using BOTH of my ears!

Praise God! I was very thankful and thanked her lavishly for her help. She of course laughed....I'm sure she has recieved this response from other people with temporary and uncomfortable deafness.

And my other nurse story (sorry, I don't have many as I have not often been sick). A few years ago I needed surgery. I remember waking from the anesthesia with the strange thought that everything was orange...the special heat blanket which was over me, the iv fluid, the curtains, the floor, the nurses' uniforms...all orange. I had not opened my eyes yet and so I have no explanation for this. No, the oxygen I was recieving was not scented. I actually considered this in my loopy state and made a special mental note that the air, while orange, was not scented at all.

As I awoke, I could hear a nurse moving around...she removed the IV and the oxygen, and after a few minutes, she asked me how I was. With much grog and little voice, I told her, "thirsty".

And I was . Very, very thirsty. And getting kind of tired of the orange which wasn't really there.

She left, and for a moment, I feared she had abandoned me, but thenk I figured I could just go back to sleep. Then she was back and she was giving me ice chips.

I decided in that moment that this merciful savior of a woman was the BEST PERSON *EVER* and I have loved her dearly ever since.

The poor dear even had to help me dress, but was respectful enough not to laugh after I first refused her help and then had to sheepishly ask for it.

I have decided that I will forever love and be grateful to nurses. They do the most work and they get the least credit. They are hardworking, intelligent, and if not for them, I have to admit I'd probably still be miserable.

So I ask you...have you hugged your nurse today, and thanked God for him or her? Now, don't go around randomly hugging nurses...that might freak them out, and rightly so, but don't forget to thank them and don't forget to keep all nurses on your permanent prayer list!

As always, God bless!

Code Red

When I was a kid, we used to watch a tv show called "Code Red". It ran from 1981-1982 and then never returned. I'm sure it was a terribly hokey show, but I loved it and so did my sibling.

In looking back, I have to wonder if the female firefighter on the show was the spark that caused me to puruse the same career 25 years later. I remember running around the house in an "Emergency!" fire helmet, and was so in love with the actors on Code Red that I tore the "Emergency!" sticker off of my red fire hat. But since I could not figure out how to place the Code Red! Logo on my hat, I ran around sporting a partially torn logo. I used to pretend to be the female firefighter, although to this day I don't remember her name--either her real one or her character's. But I loved Ted, and I tried to name my stuffed toys after him.

I'm sad, today. Why? Because even TVLand has not replayed the show. I've done internet searches so I know there's some kind of a following out there. I wish they would download to DVD and put us out of our misery. Even if it was hokey, we liked the show and it may have had some kind of dubious (although good) influence on my life.

Now, I liked and still like Emergency!, but that show's actors weren't nearly as cute as the Code Red guys.

So! Does anyone know any way we can force the industry to make a DVD of the old Code Red shows??? I guarantee one purchase right here, and I'm betting there'll be more.

If not, would anyone consider going to www.tvland.com and find the request section and write in Code Red? A lot of people will thank you for entering your vote, even if you don't intend to ever watch the show.

For the Love of Saddam...could a soul be lost?

I met someone who may be classified as a political enemy, and maybe even a spiritual enemy. This morning at work, I had to call an individual, and rather than handling business over the phone, as he was nearby, he asked to come in and handle things in person. I made sure a conference room was available, called him back and set the appointment.

Something told me (my Guardian Angel, maybe?) told me to pray before this meeting. Something told me that something was wrong and that I needed protection, so I offered some prayers as I prepared for the meeting, and when I went forward to meet the gentleman, I was collected, professional, and apparently, protected.

I greeted him with a handshake, as is typical here in America, and showed him to the conference room just off of the waiting area. He chose his seat and I sat across from him and described the format for our meeting. He verbally expressed openness and seemed eager to get things taken care of. I apologized in advance for some questions I had to ask of him and assured him that it was formatted and I intended no offense. He understood and we were off to a good start. The man was clearly intelligent and well spoken. We were respectful of each other. All in all, it was a successful meeting.

You may be asking what was so odd about this that I had to post about it? What is so strange about the above conversation that took place?

Because beneath the veneer, I learned who this man really is, and I learned that technically, he is our enemy. That's a pretty harsh statement, and it begs an explanation. So I'll tell you.

This man's car was stolen, and it was partially his fault for he left the keys for his high-end vehicle and some thieves hopped in and helped themselves. The man is a victim of a crime; he lost his property, and possibly even his identity. He had a right to be angry. He lost personal documents that can be used to fabricate fraudulent accounts and he is aware that he will suffer the consequences of this for years to come. Again, he has a right to be angry. I sympathized with him.

After our formal business today, the man continued to vent, and I only wish that this was recorded. He expressed his anger with profanity, and during this, he expressed his anti-American sentiments. He is from Iraq, I learned, and he has been in the U.S. for over 25 years...he is a citizen, and has raised and is still raising a family here.

I realized somewhere early on that his life priorites were a bit confused when he stated he will never touch his car again because it has been violated. He ridiculously described that it is like his car has been raped. He compared this to his 5 wives...the man told me, (mind you, I'm a woman), that is is as though another man touches his wife, he no longer wants his wife...and this is why he has had five wives.

It was difficult, but I was actually able to keep my mouth shut. I'm sure my Guardian Angel had his hand flat against my mouth, for I'm not sure I could have remained silent without God's grace. To compare a car theft to rape??? How that undermines the crime of rape. How his expressions and reasons for abaondoning his wives spoke of his own double-standard, his own usage of a woman for his own personal agenda. She is used goods, she is impure...then what is he???

But I digress.

It gets worse.

The man stated that everything is wrong in America. He blames America for all the wrongs in his life, and all the while, he bragged about his $700,000+ home, his high-end cars, and even though he was driving one of them, he complained that his insurance company would not pay directly for a rental while they complete the business end of his claim. The man is not destitute, far from it, and yet he complained he was being victimized again...over a situation which was not precarious. I've never seen less of a victim in my life than this man, and yet, he played the victim card as I'd never seen it played.

But this was not the problem. I have seen this before. (As an aside...I've noticed that those in the most destitute consitions tend to be far more accepting of them and prepared to survive in spite of adversity...while this man, with the high end cars he simply did not want to drive as it's not June yet, whined and pleaded and vented as though he was being murdered.)

Murder. There's an interesting word. That's the word that defined this man's true values. He wanted to murder the men who stole his car, because in "his country" (Iraq, that is), under Saddam Hussein, the penalty for theft is death. The penalty for many things was death, and this man was angry that he could not simply kill the people who cause this trouble.

Now, do not argue that this man was only venting. I've heard much of the same before, but you were not present to look into his eyes and hear his heartfelt justifications; you were not there to realize that he was entirely serious and if it were legal, he would not have a problem with carrying out the deaths of anyone who offended his sensibilities.

He justified this by his country; in Iraq it was legal, and in his estimation, Saddam Hussein is a good man.

Yes, those were his words. The man slaughtered thousands of people. He violated the wives and daughters of many men in his rape rooms. He ordered these rapes. He ordered murders, and this man, the man in my meeting, was a HUGE fan of Saddam Hussein.

I did not think it would have been effective to discuss with him the dignity of life inherent in each human being.

I have never met a person who so freely expressed these real beliefs. I always thought that if I did, I would express my own opinions, and especially if that person was a man, he would feel the wrath of God via a woman and learn his place.

Not so much. I kept my mouth shut. Amazing, isn't it?

I do not feel anger, though, and I was not fearful. What I feel for this man is pity; pity that he cannot see the value of human life. Pity that he values both people and possessions so little that he can discard them without another glance if they have been sullied or sinned against. Pity that even as he denigrated the country he embraced via his citizenship, he has no problem buying into "Western values" so much to the degree that his money has become his god. Evidenced by his throwing away a car he might get back only becase someone else took it for a spin.

I felt pity because this man does not have Jesus Christ. He can look upon the cross and feel nothing becase he came from a culture (and possibly a religion) that does not value life, and this has been integrated within him. He has been fed a deception he thinks is truth, and so when he is faced with crisis, rather than forgiveness, he seeks the death of the one who sinned against him. Not hypothetical death..but true death. Death for his car. Death of a man or two in exchange for a shiny trinket which will rust and become junk anyway in a matter of years.

I harbor no love of thieves and criminals, but let's face it...if they want to take a car, then so be it. Why demand their lives? If their lives are so pathetic that they must steal cars, then they are living out their own punishment of misery on earth. Those of us with homs and cars and a life builit without the commission of crime are doing well; the misery of the street is not our choice as it is for thieves.

Why seek death for those who have chosen a pitiful existance? They need prayers for conversion, not death.

But this man sought death, and I have no doubt he would carry it out.

I realized during his tirade why I had been prompted to pray. Even through his profanity (which I did ask him to curb), and even through this anti-American, anti-life rant, I remained calm, I listened to him, and by the end of our conversation, we had found points of identification. We shook hands again, and apparently he lumped me in with the percentage of "good people" who do not cause harm and thus deserve to die and both of us left the conference room laughing.

I do not look forward to further conversations, and so I ask you all to pray for me as I continue to meet with this follower of Saddam Hussein as our business does carry on. Please pray that I will continue to exhibit Christ to him, and not my own ego.

These people are among us; they are our co-workers, they might be friends, and we meet them as clients and maybe even business partners or supervisors.

I do not think he is a bad man; I think he has been horribly mislead, and so I entrust him to the most Sacred Heart of Jesus, and apparently I am being used to bring Christ to him through...what? I still haven't figured that out. But if I could remain silent through the man's tirade, I know God is somewhere in the works and he has a plan.

God help and bless us all.

But I still have to ask...how many souls has the likes of Saddam Hussein lead away from the Lord...and how can the rest of us help to bring those souls back?

The Kentucky Derby

Today is Derby day, and of course, for racing fans, we just witnessed the blistering and undisputable win belonging to Barbaro. I think that, as one of the undefeated horses in history who went to the gate undefeated, and yet remains as one of the 6 still-undefeated, he is well on his way to greatness and in fact, has likely just sealed his fate as a high-dollar stud.

I have had a long love-affair with horses in general, and horseracing entered the scene after my first reading of "The Black Stallion" when I was a child.

I still remember my first sight of a horse, up close. I remember my Mom exclaiming about a "horse" coming down the street and she lifted me up so that I could see out of our etched-glass window. I watched nobility pass, bearing a waving mane and tail, prancing with a rider upon his stately back. I cried out, "Oh! I LOVE horses!".

I still remember then that my Mom's response was, "Yes, they are beautiful but you'll grow out of it."

It was a litany I heard throughout my life. We had a pony down the road, and after I was bucked off and feared horses for several years, my parents, Mom in particular, breathed a sigh of relief, thinking my "phase" was over..but it wasn't. Although I was afraid to ride anymore, and as I was not often around them, it didn't affect my love for the creatures.

When I was 13, although my Dad couldn't afford it, he paid for riding lessons every other week. I missed a lot as the class met once each week, but I was thankful for each and every lesson...to this day, the words of Martha, our instructor, echo in my head. "HEELS DOWN! CHEST OUT! ELBOWS IN! CHIN UP!"

I read all the Walter Farley books, and as a result, this cultivated a love of horseracing even though I'd never seen one. I was ecstatic when Canterbury Downs was built in Shakopee, MN. I remember telling Mom my life plans; I was going to become a jocky. I was going to do this by going up to Canterbury during the season and work as a groom...work my way to jockey, and maybe eventually train great horses.

Thank God she didn't understand I was serious...if so, she would have grounded me for life. She was upset, though, and vowed that no daugher of hers would ever do such a thing.

It came to pass, though, when I turned 16, I was there to enjoy the races on that very day. My Dad, as a gift, brought my brother and I to the races, and although I was too young to bet, he let me pick the horses. I had created a "cheat sheet" of owners, trainers, and bloodlines, and I used this to choose my horses.

At that time Canterbury Downs (now Canterbury Park) offered higher purses and thus drew a "higher" crowd of horsemen and horses...I remember that on that day, Texas Trio, who had raced in the Kentucky Derby, entered one of the Canterbury races. I begged my Dad to bet him to win for he was far superior to the rest of his field. My Dad declined, choosing to bet him to show...and Texas Trio won.

That same day happened to be Fan Day, and they were offering a drawing for "A Filly for a Fan", which we entered.

Dad joked that if we won, he would name the filly, "Julie's Dream", after me.

(As an aside to any potential owners...will you consider naming a filly in honor of my Dad and I?)

Anyway, two years prior, in 1988, I had begun writing my own racehorse story, under the influence of Walter Farley and the great filly, Winning Colors. I completed the story and it was laid to rest for many years...ony to be revived in 2001. I did real research in 2002 by visiting Canterbury Park and obtaining permission and an escort "backside" to learn more about the nuts and bolts of racing.

I remember my idealism, back to when I was young; I was going to be a jocky. Although I am still somewhat short, I do not meet the credentials and I have resigned to the fact that I will never be a jockey. Then I figured I would be a trainer...and I have realized that the only option currently open to me is to become an owner...and that is not currently possible.

My status as a non-horseman does not crush me; in fact, a few years ago I grew hopeful when I realized that riding-horse ownership is a very real possibility, althougn not right now. Racehorse ownership? Maybe. We'll see.

For now, though, I wait, and hope, and occasionally go to the races. I have read books, I am slowly and occasionally working on my book, and as of today, I harbor the hope that Barbaro will go on and win the Triple Crown.

Maybe the horses I want to own, and are yet to be named are not in the Derby, but that does not stop my enjoyment.

So if any owners out there want to sell me even a minimal share in a horse, say, $100 in a champion and be willing to name said horse, "Julie's Dream", let me know. I would like to think my Dad, 11 years in his grave, would enjoy that even a portion of our joint dream has come true.

For now, I am content to watch the Derby, and the Preakness, and the Belmont, and wait for the day that I may actually attend to watch my own horse run. Possible? Yes. Probable? No.

Isn't that what dreams are for?

Crawling through the darkness

I learned a lesson in September of 2001, while I was experiencing "The Tower"; that is, the physical training portion of my training to become a firefighter for a midwestern city. We'd been hired after an arduous process, and after months of academics, I was fighting to overcome personal obstacles which, in the end, would lead me to my new career.

The Tower was 6 weeks at the city's training facility, focusing on the SOP's (Standard Operating Procedures) and "evolutions", which were the exercises assigned for the day. Throughout the six weeks the evolutions went from simple three-step operations to full blown firefighting--as much as possible without a real fire.

The first week was fairly easy, however. I remember one of our first evolutions...we had assigned partners and the assignment was simple: Find the fire and put it out.

At the entrance to one of the training buildings, we donned our turnout, to include the SCBA tank and accompanying facepieces, and waited, two by two, to make the trip.

I was on the nozzle. The "charged" hoseline snaked back to the Engine, which was attached to the hydrant out on the apron. My partner was a a friend, and his was probably the more difficult job.

We had done searches before, but this was different. This time, we had all our gear, we had the heavy hose to carry, we were in complete darkness with our airtanks on (containing a limited amount of air), and the building was full of "smoke".

I remember opening the door, the nozzle in hand, having felt the entrance door with the back of my gloved hand. Slowly we crawled inside and I made my way to my left to find the wall just inside the door...which lead to a corner...and up the stairs. As the light from the doorway faded, about 5 steps up, and we labored to drag the heavy hoseline with us, my job was to keep my hand on the wall. My partner had to focus on pulling the hoseline as we went, not an easy job. Slowly, we made our way, step by step, my hand never leaving the wall. This was so far the most realistic scenario in training, and I knew we were creeping along at a snail's pace. I was thankful it wasn't real...if there were any victims, they would have grown old and died before we ever got to the half-way point of that smoky cement stairwell.

Somewhere in that darkness, where the only sound was our grunts of effort in dragging the tankline and short, muffled words of encouragement to each other, I felt panic creep upon me. I was burdened with the weight of the SCBA tank and my turnout gear. My knees hurt and ramming one upon the sharp corner of a step did not help the situation. I was hot and sweaty although we hadn't gotten far...and I knew I was sucking air far faster than I should be. Would my tank last at this pace??

I wanted to stop and turn around. I wanted to stand up, get out of the bulding, remove all the confining burdens and I wanted to drink as much water as was available. I did not want to go forward and face the dragon that awaited us, and even worse...the Captain.

But somewhere, deep within me, my training thus far spoke out, and I believe to this day, the Holy Spirit. I did not hear words, but only had an understanding, and my thoughts went from jumbled panic to cool reality.

"All I have to do is keep my hand on the wall. The wall isn't going anywhere...it's RIGHT THERE. All I have to do is follow it and bring the water. Anthony has the harder job, and he's doing great. And if I have to leave, he will leave with me, but I'm not going to make him do that. But we can get out of here any time we want...as long as I stay in contact with this conglomeration of rock.

The panic left me, and we both moved forward and upward with renewed vigor. The wall to my left turned a corner to the left and I followed it, turning to help advance the hoseline. We found a door...I felt along the doorway, knowing that this was it..because we were in a dead end and the only place to go was IN.

I fumbled so badly that our Captain grabbed my flailing yellow-leather-gloved hand and forced it to the doorknob with some exasperation. I shoved the door open. As we entered, the flames shot upward from the area of the far wall and corner. We could see now, and we saw the Captain, beckoning us forward.

We crawled forward, staying low, bringing in the hoseline only to find we dind't have enough...and while the dragon roared, we hauled, and got into position. The nozzle had a type of handle on the underside similar to a handgun, but longer. On top there was a lever to control the flow of water. I set my position, feeling Anthony's arm pressed against my back and shoulder to support me as the water surged forward. The pressure drove me backward as anticipated, but he did his job and together, we put the fire out. We turned it off and listened to the critique, then left, triumphant. Not a great job, overall...but we did it and we were the first to do so.

Here is my point...this was not so much a lesson in firefighting as it was a lesson in the Spirit, for it is not the physical details that have left an impression on me; it is the realization that we are all crawling in the darkness, and sometimes, the smoke is so thick and choking, and sometimes we don't think there's enough air, and sometimes we think we are lost.

Sometimes we get the urge to backtrack and get a "perspective," and maybe realize that we don't want to go through that darkness because the reward cannot possibly be worth it.

But that's the wrong approach. Had I run away as I wanted to, I would have lost my job, in all liklihood. If I could not have gotten through that, then I certainly would not have been able to get through anything else.

That's the spiritual life. God beckons us forward, knowing what is in that darkness and knowing our personal struggles...but he doesn't send us alone. And he gives us a rock to grasp as we wander, hauling whatever type of burden He requires of us, maybe some things of our own choice. But when it gets dark and smoky, and we begin to panic, that is the time to remember that we have a grasp of something special; we have Jesus Christ and the Church, which is our Rock. Even if we can't see, we can at least know that something solid is guiding us, and as long as we can keep in touch with that, we will find our way.

Sure, there are dragons and obstacles and the like, and we know that going forward. We can't run away because those dragons don't go away by themselves...we are ALL called to fight them. And somewhere, in the darkness behind us, there is someone sent by God to guard our backs, and that being does double duty when our only job is to find the way through the dark and the smoke.

Remember to thank your Guardian Angel tonight and always. Keep your hand upon that Rock which will forever guide you through the darkness, in spite of the smoke, in spite of the obstacles...that Rock will always be there.

Trust in Jesus and push forward, especially when you want only to flee. As long as you keep your hand in His, you will have no need to escape.

Sisters in Jesus the Lord

This is one of my favorite orders...they are new, they are local, and they need your prayers to support them! God bless these Sisters!

Apparently it's been too long since I visited this site, as there was a Star Tribune article about them and I have to admit it was fairly well done. It is articles like this that strike me and cause me to consider anew the attractiveness of a life of a Bride of Christ;

Minneapolis Star Tribune:

Young woman symbolizes new concept of nun
Katherine Kersten, Star Tribune

Kelly Whittier has the makings of a successful career woman. She's got degrees from two prestigious institutions, the College of William and Mary in Virginia and Emory University in Georgia. She's poised, articulate and well-traveled, and radiates the "sky-is-the-limit" look of a young woman with big plans.

When I met Whittier this week in St. Paul, she was dressed in the full habit of a Roman Catholic nun.

For many Minnesotans, the word "nun" conjures up a character in a farcical dinner theater production or, at best, an elderly relic of decades past. But Whittier, 29, represents a rising generation of young Catholic women who are picking up the centuries-old tradition, often in new ways.

A native of Virginia, she first considered joining a religious sisterhood in college. She cites a range of influences -- a strong Catholic student group, a choir that introduced her to the riches of sacred music. Last year, after several years of indecision, she moved to St. Paul to join Sisters in Jesus the Lord, a new order in the first stage of working toward Church approval.

How did her friends and family react? Whittier describes a favorite college professor's response: " 'I'm so disappointed,' he told me. 'I'm sorry your life is over. I had such high hopes for you.'

That professor, like many today, saw being a nun as the ultimate confinement, a way of life completely inconsistent with the modern world's greatest value: freedom.

Whittier disagrees: "For me, being a sister is about freedom -- the freedom to be totally available to a great number of people, to live wherever I need to minister, to work and pray exactly as I'm called to."

Ordinary people understand the importance of such freedom, says Whittier. She describes a young friend, also a sister, who was startled at the reaction she got when she first wore her habit in public. "When people saw her habit," Whittier says, "they didn't seem to care what her name was or where she came from. She was just 'Sister.' People asked her questions, shared about their lives, asked her help. They were comfortable coming up to her because, just by looking at her, they knew that she's given her whole life to God."

Whittier acknowledges that her vocation requires sacrifice. "But being a sister isn't saying you want to hide from the world, or you're not attracted to men. In fact, a sister or a priest should be someone who would also be a wonderful wife and mother, or husband and father, but who has chosen a different path."

As a Sister in Jesus the Lord, Whittier will spend coming years in a place even colder than Minnesota -- Vladivostok, in eastern Siberia, Russia. There she will join two American priests who have a mission at the city's Most Hooly Mother of God Catholic Church. Whittier will feed street children, care for abandoned elderly people and help build a music ministry. In the process, she says, she will assist in reviving a church that had about 12,000 registered members in the 1920s, but was shuttered in the 1930s after the Soviet government murdered or exiled thousands of parishioners.

Whittier is hopeful that Sisters in Jesus the Lord will flourish as more young women learn of its mission. Every week, she says, she helps review the names of about eight young women who have a potential interest in its work.

Roman Catholic nuns are generally thought to be a vanishing breed. But young women like Kelly Whittier, with their intelligence and energy, are bringing the vision flickering back to life.

Katherine Kersten • kkersten@startribune.com



What else is there to say?

Why is a Minister of the Circle of Sacred earth allowed to teach the Catholic Faith in Catholic Churches?

I've been recieving some hate mail lately, and I'm not at all surprised. After all, I was the one to throw down the gauntlet and call into question why a professed pagan is teaching the "sacraments" and "Bible study" at various Catholic parishes.

Her name is Gabriel Ashley Ross and in a previous post, found here, I summarized her actual beliefs, which she conveniently provided herself....all over the web. This is public info. I find the fact that a pagan is teaching our children and adults who had the same watered-down upbringing as I to be outrageous, and it needs to come to an end.

I do not know her nor, as one commenter suggested, would having a cup of coffee with the woman change the fact that Gabriel Ashley Ross's beliefs are directly contrary to the teachings of the Catholic Church. I'm sure that if I met her I might even personally like her...generally, I get along with everyone, even those with whom I disagree.

Some may question why the actual beliefs of the teacher, in this case, Ross, really matters, especially if she's following general guidelines?

Simple. Let's use logic. I'm Catholic, right? So my values and beliefs are very much tempered by my faith, and I will tend to do everything from a Catholic perspective; that is, if I do have a correctly formed conscience in the Catholic faith.

Now, as a Catholic, would it be acceptable for me to go into a group of Wiccans and begin to teach them their religion? Or might they take offense, correctly arguing that I do not have a vested interest in their beliefs and I am "tainting" them with my own, and possibly planting seeds for their conversion to my own faith? Darn right that's what I'd be doing, and if you are gullible enough to beliefe that Ross isn't doing just that, whether consciously or unconsciously, then you need to get a grip on reality.

Here's an example of one of the hateful commentators, who apparently doesn't understand what it means to be "tolerant":

Boy, your "concern" is full of hate and fear. It is pure vitriolic. What are you scared of? That our children will learn about world religions and learn from someone different than you so that they can grow-up to be more tolerant, well-informed, productive citizens who try to understand their neighbors?

So let's discuss this. In my original post, I expressed concern that this pagan is teaching our faith, not in a public school or university, but IN OUR CATHOLIC PARISHES! Apparently it's quite unconscionable that a Catholic would dare to speak out against such an outrage. I guess I'm intolerant then. Fine. I am guilty.

First point: Fear. If I were fearful, I would not respond to this. I would pull the post down entirely. Especially after the hateful comments and the typical accusations of "intolerance". I am not fearful; but I sense fear in all who support this woman, for her time teaching at Catholic parishes is nearing an end, God willing. She can go teach at the Circle of the Sacred Earth; or she can denounce the New Agey religions she holds so dear, but she cannot continue to live this duality and expect that her behavior will be accepted.

This person asked what I am scared of...well, I'm not "scared" of anything. This just proves what Ms. Ross is teaching....the children at "her" parishes should not be learning world religions. They should be learning their own faith, for that is why their parents have brought them to a CATHOLIC Church. If Ms. Ross cares to teach about world religions, then she can do so in a government-funded or Wiccan-funded or Circle of Sacred Earth- funded venue and if Catholics want to go see her there, then fine. But stay away from children who need to grow up in their own faith before they chooose to enter the confusion that Ms. Ross peddals.

Going back to the comment, I fail to see how teaching world religions to children in a Catholic parish makes them more understanding of their neighbors, or better people? I'm thinking that this person is casting a judgment upon me without actually knowing me. Thank you, anonymous commenter, for making my point so well. Tolerance is a two-way street, and we're all supposed to be equals...but Catholics are less equal than anyone else. Our beliefs aren't respected but we are apparently supposed to cave in to whatever new ideal presents itself at our parish doors.

NOT!

Let's talk about tolerance, then. Let's discuss the fact that in our society, tolerance applies to every sin under the sun, but those with dearly held belifs are not allowed to express those or demand that they be upheld in God's own house. This anonymous commenter so clearly expressed this sad truth about our society; if we stand up for what is right, and denounce evil, then we are intolerant.

Let's hear some more from that commenter: You say you never met this Gabriel but then you profess to know what she teaches, what her values and beliefs are, and what she stands for. That's blasphemous. Your citation from another parent is hearsay and only that person's perspective.

No, I never met Gabriel, but I can see her values and beliefs all over the web pages she advertises for herself. How is pointing out the obvious "blasphemous"?

BLASPHEMY: The act of expressing lack of reverence for God. Irreverence toward something considered sacred.. I took this definition from The New Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a secular source.

It seems to me that if "blasphemy" applies here, it is in allowing a professed pagan (again, announced all over the internet on web links I provided) into God's house to teach her own version of our faith. How is this respectful or reverent to God?

I have to wonder if this poster things that she is God since the accusation against my post is right there in black and white? I have not been irreverent towards God, but towards a woman who should not be teaching in our very parishes.

The commenter went on to say that Ms. Ross is very "tolerant and well-rounded" and apparently she knows more about scripture than a lot of other people. Fine. So does Jeff Cavins, but he has the respect to actually BE Catholic and so it is proper for him to teach it in our parishes.

I guess that some people, when saying such things about scriptural knowledge, forget that Satan was very well versed in scripture and he quoted it fluently when he tempted Jesus in the desert. The fact that Ms. Ross knows scripture does not give her credibility. There are thousands of denominations out there and they all split because they don't have the Magasterium to refer to as a yardstick when interpreting Sacred Scripture by using Sacred Tradtion. Nor does Ms. Ross.

Many people don't realize that Tarot, Divination, Faery-doctoring, Reiki, Eastern Spiritualities, etc., are all sins against the first commandment: "I am the Lord your God; you shall have no other gods before Me." Ms. Ross is into this other stuff, this faery-doctoring, she is a Minister of the Circle of the Sacred Earth, and as such, she is giving her allegiance not to the Triune God, but to her own gods. This is firstly, for a Catholic, a mortal sin. I do not know the state of Ms. Ross's soul, but she should at least be aware, if she is teaching the faith and even the Sacrament of Confession to children, that such things are a mortal sin. If she is not aware of this, then she should not be teaching for she is not informed enough to teach. Secondly, if she is aware that what she is doing is a mortal sin, then she should step out of her teaching position and either choose that or renounce it and convert wholeheartedly to Catholicism. She cannot serve two masters, and, speaking as one who was once involved in that stuff...she is not serving God. Nor was I when I was nearly inducted into a Voodoo Cult.

(As an aside: if anyone has any questions about my lack of "open-mindedness", then check out my Tarot story- where I could have lost my mind, my life, and my soul)

Now, as faithful Catholics, we have a right to speak out against such atrocities. Of course it's no surprise that this kind of thing happens; after all, there are a lot of misguided Catholics out there, and New-Agey things being interjected into our parishes is not new...but it needs to end for it leads people astray.

Perhaps Ms. Ross doesn't realize that she has no business teaching these things in a Catholic parish, as our belifs conflict so strongly. I'm sure she thinks she has the best interest of her pupils at heart, but the reality is that she does not share our beliefs and thus, he teachings are tainted at their foundations. Her very commenters express such ignorance and intolerance of our Catholic beliefs that they provide proof that if they are learning from Ms. Ross, she's doing a terrible job.

Even I recieved better catechesis in the watered-down programs of my youth. I at least was taught that in order to be forgiven, I had to recognize that I sinned. I'm not sure, from what I have heard from witnesses, that she is able to use the word "sin", nor that she is able to declare that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior.

Catholic parishes are Catholic, they are a house of God, and within them, Jesus himself resides in the Blessed Sacrament. Yet while the tabernacles in these parishes wait in silence and patience for the faithful to pray, instead, parishioners are in the parish hall listening to the distortions and misrepresentations of our faith straight from the misled lips of a Ms. Gabriel Ashley Ross. She's no messenger, friends, and she needs to stop teaching in our parishes, unless she renounces her New Age philosophies and ebraces the beliefs she is pretending to teach.

This is a Spiritual battle, folks...arm yourselves well.

For further information on the occult and New Age and why they are incompatible with Catholic belief, check out this article.

Sacrocanctum Concilium - Music

Welcome to Part 2 of my limited knowledge of the most abused of all Vatican II documents. This is a popular topic and so I look forward to many informative, and most importantly, opinionated comments.

I still have to refer you to my disclaimer posted at the top of the original post on this topic. I'm no expert and I am presenting very limited information on this topic. Again, I refer all readers to the document and to actually READ it before trying to interpret it. That's what got the American Church to where she resides now. Ignorance. Let's not be ignorant buffoons, like the "Liturgical Directors" of lore, but rather, let us be informed Catholics. Personally, I like that idea.

Music. What a great topic. It affects our worship. At Daily Mass, sometimes we sing and in the simplicity of the chapel the a capella notes of traditional songs bring a harmony and beauty to the most simplified Holy Mass. The echoing notes in a stone cathedral echo against the harmonies created by a well-tune choir, raising their voices to God and calling us all to a greater worship. Good music speaks not to our intellect alone, but to our very souls, and believe you me, the soul recognizes good music. I've often heard people refer to music with "soul", usually in reference to Jazz, or the Blues, and while I agree, I think that the ultimate is the ancient music of the Church, sometimes referred to as "the breath of God".

Maybe my pontifications on this deserve a place in another post and maybe I'll go there, but perhaps it's best to discuss what the Council actually said about music, and what has actually happened. Oy Vey! Uff Da! ?Que paso'? Quo Vadis?

MUSIC

The musical tradition of the universal Church is a treasure of inestimable value, greater even than that of any othe rart. The main reason for this pre-eminence is that, as sacred song united to the words, it forms a necessary or integral part of the solemn Liturgy.

Therefore sacred music is to be considered the more holy in proportion as it is more closely connected with the liturgical action....

This part discusses the importance of music in connection with the Sacred Liturgy. It does allow for contemporary music, but does require the "needed qualities."

Discussion topic: what are the "needed qualities" based upon the above?

The Church acknowledges Gregorian chant as specially suited to the Roman Liturgy; therefore, other things being equal, it should be given pride of place in liturgical services..

What do people NOT understand about the above sentence?

I have a CD called "Sublime Chant", which covers Gregorian Chant, Ambrosian Chant, and other chants. Maybe this is a good time to quote that work of art which is my namesake:

Adoro te devote, latens Deitas,
Quae sub his figuris vere latitas
Tibi se cor meum totum subjicit,
Quia te contemplans totum deficit

Godhead here in hiding, whom I do adore
Masked by these bare shadows, shape and nothing more.
See, Lord at that service, low lies here a heart
Lost, all lost in wonder at the God thou art.

(I've read a few translations, but this is the one that got my attention).

Moving on...

In the Latin Church the pipe organ is to be held in high esteem for it is the traditional musical instrument which adds a wonderful splendor to the Church's ceremonies and powerfully lifts up man's mind to God and to higher things.

This section does allow for other instrumentation, with approval, and as long as it is suitable for sacred use "in accord with the dignity of the temple, and truly contribute tot he edification of the faithful."

Personally, I don't think drums, electric guitars, and synthesizers fit the above definition. Now, there is a song called, "First Song of Isaiah" that our choir "performed" when I was in high school, and I was so happy to do this song, loved the kettle drums, loved the music and the uplifting feeling. But I have to admit that when we "performed" this song, while it was done at Mass, it was still a "performance" and I'm not sure that it was done so much for the edificatino of the faithful as it was for the edification of the fabulous choir.

I still love the song...but I'm not sure I would like to see it at Mass anymore. I no longer have the music so I'm not sure where it belongs in any of the categories below:

Father discussed three types of illicit liturgical songs, and this is a great topic for discussion:

1. Good melody, bad words. There are some melodies which are harmonious, which are easily sung by the majority, and which by their presentation are beautiful. The words, however, sometimes make no sense whatsoever. I believe he used "Here I am, Lord, " as an example.

Some would argue that the words are taken from scripture, and indeed they are. However, the literary perspective changes;

I the Lord of sea and sky, I have heard my people cry; I have wept for love of them.....

If we sing this song, we are singing as God speaking to his prophet. Maybe if this remained consistent throughout, it would make sense and reiterate one of the readings. But it changes;

Here I am, Lord, it is I, Lord, I have heard you calling in the night....

How did we go from the perspective of God to the person of the prophet? How did that happen, and how did the song become all about social justice? If you look through it, it leaves scripture behind and embraces the "feel good" non-theology which is so common today.

There are many songs which fit this general provision of good melody/ bad words although the particular details of this example may not match. Some may put this song into the last category. However, first we must discuss;

2. Bad melody; Good words.

I can't remember the example used by Father as I was paging through the hymnal he provided so didn't write it down. If you think you have a song in mind, please let me know. I have the following hymnals handy: Glory and Praise and "Breaking Bread 1993". If you know a title, comment and I'll see if it's in either book.

In our parish, on Thanksgiving the choir performed a very painful song which had notes flying all over the place with no discernable melody. I think it fell into the "Haugen Haas" category, but I'm not sure. It was so unsingable that even those who usually sang just gaped in silence and tried to hit a note here or there. It was horrid. I don't remember that the words were so bad but the music! I'm still retching at the thought. The good news was that it was so bad and so tuneless that it didn't leave a worm in my ear so I was able to eat dinner with my family in peace.

Now, on to the third category:

3. Bad melody; bad words. I hate to say it but in contemporary hymnals, there are numerous examples of this. I think Father used "Gather Us In" as an example of this category. Again; discuss.


Some of the songs he named I have to admit with much guilt that I have liked those songs, but I still had to agree with his assessment upon an actual examination of the music and the words. Personally, I love "Here I am, Lord", and this is why: When I was in my rebeiion against the faith, every time I did go to Mass, there were two variables which seemed never changed: Always, I happened to be there when they read the story of the Prodigal Son (Prodigal Daughter), and secondly, one of the hymns was ALWAYS "Here I am, Lord" and this is a song which had always spoke to me. Maybe I understood the song on a spiritual level; I realized it was a conversation between God and the prophet, and I realized that God was calling me to come home and that I was in rebellion. All He wanted me to say was, "Ok, here I am, Lord, I want to come home, please forgive me." At the time I wanted to be a missionary and I looked into many programs especially in Mexico, Central and South America, and this song also hit me there.

I think it just goes to show that God can work even through bad contemporary music.

Now!

Let's discuss. I hope those who stumble across this post do join in the discussion that I dearly hope happens in the comment section. Consider this a personal invitation into my "livingroom" to talk about the music of Holy Mother Church.

Archdiocesan Commission on Women

The Commission is seeking new membership to it's board. Oh, joy. Some readers may remember my discussion at length on the "Listening Sessions" which were done outside of Archbishop Flynn's approval. I will post a link to this further on.

Here is the Mission Statement of the Comission, which was instituted in a political move by Archbishop Roach; my guess is that he was tired of listening to the whining of misguided women and gave them a venue to whine to each other. This is the "Mission Statement" they posited on their web page:

www.archspm.org/spmcwn

The mission of the Archdiocesan Council of Catholic Women is to empower, educate and support women to lives of service, spirituality and leadership to their families, parishes, communities and the poor of the world.


Seems pretty benign, doesn't it? I am amazed, though, as a Catholic organization, that while they mention the poor, they do not mention the slaughtered unborn. But I digress.

Now, if you want to know what they are REALLY about, check out the statement on the home page, but be sure to understand this within the context of their true agenda, revealed in the link provided on the main page of their latest "research" on women in the Archdiocese, marked "Listening Sessions" in blue.


The Commission on Women serves the Archbishop in an advisory role as we bring forth the voices of women who desire to serve the church with a greater use of their gifts and talents. The Commission is a unique organization within the Archdiocese that promotes women's voices in the life of the church and responds to women (and men) in crisis or alienating situations. There is no other agency that supports or communicates with the clientele of women that we reach. Very often, we are the only hope they have of remaining connected to the church. In an effort to further women's leadership roles, we research and study issues as they relate to women.

Note some of the wording in this statement: "alienating situations" "promotes women's voices in the life of the church", "remaining connected to the church". I find most of this ironic as they tend to create more alienating situations with their politics and "remaining connected" to the Church is not really what they are about on any level, from my observation.

( I do have to point one one issue in their mission statement: in this context, "church" should be capitalized as they are referring to the Church, not to a building. I doubt that this commission, as misguided as most of them happen to be, did not mean to imply that people are desperately clinging onto a brick building. I see this mistake all the time and it drives me crazy because those who are intelligent enough to write mission statements should really have a better understanding of word usage. )

Anyway, going back to the statement, pay special attention to the last line: "In an effort to further women's leadership roles, we research and study issues as they relate to women." Look around. Where are women NOT in leadership? Women have been messing up catechesis for years now. Um, I mean "leading" religious education from questionable platforms, that is. That's leadership, isn't it? Women are everywhere and without women, the Church would not exist. Some individual churches exist in spite of women, if you get my meaning. I'm still trying to fathom some of them. Everywhere I go, women are in charge of things. They hardly need a Commission to further this. But of course, their true idea of "leadership" is not as it appears.

I'm going to provide you an example of their "research" which was posted and summed up at the infamous St. Joan of Arc Parish in south Minneapolis. It might make you cry, whether in laughter or frustration is your option. Choose both. If you are a woman, you have that ability.

http://www.stjoan.com/highlightsfr.htm

If you read this, you will see that they are painting a very misrepresentative portrait of the women of this archdiocese, most of whom think the above is completely foolish. It's left-wing craziness, and thanks to this Commission, it's front and center on a link on the archdiocesan webpage.

I'm offended by this. I'm offended that such garbage is being shown as an "accurate" portrayal of what Catholic women want. And because of this offense, I toyed with the idea of applying to the Commission so as to do some internal evangelization and hopefully leading people to what the Church REALLY teaches, and what women are REALLY about.

I'm not sure I'm the woman for that job, however. I did consider it, and sitting here on my desk is an application for the commission on women and/or committe membership.

I don't think they'd take me because I'd have to be honest in my responses. Here's some of the questions, for example:

How did you hear about the Commission on Women?

From a very unfortunate, nauseating article which trampled the true image of the Church and sought to push an agenda which is contrary to the image of the Blessed Mother which the faithful hold dear.

Do you have other community commitments? Are you a member of other organizations?

I'm a faithful member of the one, Holy, Apostolic Catholic Church, Pepertual Adoration, and the Frassati Society. (I think those "groups" might disqualify me).

What skills/talents/abilities/interests would you bring to this committee?

skills: I can string a few words together here and there to create complete sentences and I know when to capitalize "Church" versus "church".

talents: I can sing "Adoro Te Devote" in Latin, and I memorized the English translation of the first verse. And I can sing the entire "Agnus Dei" in Latin.

abilities: I am able to read and comprehend various theological documents, such as the Bible or Sacrosanctum Concilium, and identify whether I need to question someone in higher ecclesial authority before innovating my own personal interpretation and implementation.

interests: I have an interest in obedience to Church teaching and in educating others regarding actual teachings versus fictional accounts.


This is my favorite: Describe your vision of women's participation in the Church, and how your participation on this committee would further that vision.

I would like to end the reign of angst perpetuated upon the men and faithful women of this archdiocese by the existing Commission through permeating the left wing feminist ranks. I would like to encourage women of deep and true faith to particpate in the committees and commission. I believe I have the talent and knowledge base required to garner interst in such a task and personally know several women who have a militant spirit, also. Women are meant to emulate the Mother of God, and with more women standing on the Commission to lead with this great example, I believe we can encourage more vocations for both men AND women from this archdiocese! The harvest is bountiful, but the workers are few.


Please tell us what the Commission on Women Mission Statement meanst o you at this time. .

I believe it's a bunch of political double-speak which really has no meaning with regard to the current agenda of heterodoxy. That needs to change. And it's not pro-life enough. We need to call attention to the babies being murdered in our midst.

Can you agree to promote the work of the Commission on Women and the Archdiocese as stated in the Mission Statement and can you commit your time and energy to that work?

No. I am faithful to the Archbishop and I embrace this archdiocese, but the Mission statement is way to open and hokey within the atmospher within which it currently resides. Either it has to change or the Commission needs to understand what it means to be obedient to the Magesterium, and therefore to Christ.

What do you hope to accomplish as an appointed member of the Commission on Women.

Revolution! Insurrection! Faithfulness to the Lord against the evil agenda of popular culture and rabid faminism which now holds the archdiocese in a chokehold! I am woman! Hear me roar!

Is there anything else you would like us to know about you?

I'm not sure you want to go there. I'm a revert. Don't mess with me, and don't try to take down the faithful. We will convert you.

*
So! Do you think they'd let me in?

Any faithful women want to send their own version of this app in, and prove that the faithful outdo the "prophetic" of the Archdiocese?

:-)

Discernment or Vocation Avoidance?

Every so often I have to post on vocational discernment because it's one of the reasons I founded my blog.

A little over a year ago, I heard a "call" from the Lord, and I dove into that just as I dove into everything else in my life, but at the same time I realized that my past diving cannot serve as experience for vocation diving. And so I entered the discernment process, which first involves prayer and direction before diving. The waters of discernment are deep, and I really wasn't sure I could swim enough to keep from hitting my fool head on the only rock in the entire discernmental ocean.

So much to my frustration, I learned that just because the Lord was calling me to greater union with Him did not mean he was going to show me the way so easily. This was not going to be a matter of physical training or academic success, or a combination of the two; no, this was different. And for awhile, the Lord gifted me with a Spiritual Director, who helped me take the first step for my journey...understanding when my Shepherd is speaking to me. Learning to listen and to trust.

I could not get enough time before the Blessed Sacrament, and last spring/summer, I really needed that, so I went to adoration nearly every day, morning, nood, and night. I still look back on the words that came to me while I prayed before Jesus Christ himself, and I am humbled by the graces he gave me, and the direction he himself provided.

Yet I still drifted somewhat, or perhaps he called me to different types of devotion. After awhile, work became so busy that I was not able to go to the Adoration Chapel over my lunch breaks as I had becomed accustomed to doing...because I was too busy to take a break. Occasionally I would be hit with an especially difficult problem and so I went to Jesus to ask for help, or insight, or strength. Or simply that His will be done. And Jesus got me through those times. Since I couldn't go to the Chapel, I carried a crucifix and when I was in the depths of my struggles, I pulled it out and I looked at Jesus, and even if for only a moment, I considered what He had done for us, and I was able to get through my tasks.

Here I am, now, over a year later. I've learned much in the last year, academically, because I have been able to read and reflect a lot and spiritually, because God is good. I did speak with a couple of religious communities, but I have not done any visits. It seemed that every time I had planned to attend something, I was not able to pay for the trip (to Michigan, for example to visit Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist), or attend a local retreat, etc. I have a house, and I have dogs, and so it's not easy to get away to do these things.

I came to realize that my previous attitude of driving myself to success at any cost does not work with God; he works on His time, not mine. I realized that initially, I was panicking because I am 31 and so many of the good communities have a cutoff of 30 and I've missed the boat. At some point in that early frenzy, I understood that if I am meant to be somewhere, God will draw me to that place, and so I stopped my spiritual headlong rushing and gave it over to God.

Now, here I am, still having no idea what I'm supposed to do. I no longer think I am called to religious life, although I consider this with an admitted twinge of sadness. But I've had to seek my motivations. All my life, I did the right things for the wrong reasons, and somethimes the wrong things for the right reasons. And over and over, I have crashed and burned. God has given me everything I ever wanted, even when He knew that there was nothing but disaster lying in wait for me. But he indulged my impertinence, my willfulness, and he kept His divine hand over me. I've been amazed at the protection the Lord has provided me over the years.

But I don't think he's calling me to that life. I'm not sure he's calling me to marriage, either. I'm not sure if I want children, and certainly I should not get married if I don't want children. Yet, I have realized that if I marry and God gives me children, I will embrace them with the very love of Christ and the love of the Blessed Mother for Christ, and I will somehow get them into heaven. Such is the order God wills for us. Sometimes this appeals to me, and sometimes it does not. Sometimes the religious life appeals to me, especially when I consider the peacefulness of prayer and the nearness to our Lord. And yet sometimes I cringe at the though of living the life of a religious.

I am somewhere in the middle, having been chosen by neither and having actually chosen neither. For now, I am single for the sake of God's kingdom, and perhaps this is where He wants me for life. Perhaps God has something waiting around the corner, which is often the case.

I have resigned myself to His will...I can do nothing without God. I am tired of making demands for Him to fulfill, only to find out my demands were nothing but capricious folly. I am tired of searching for something that does not belong to me. I am tired of seeking things others want me to seek or think I should seek, and now, I just want what God wills for me.

This is a difficult place within which to reside. I have been stripped of professional goals...where I used to be driven, now I have seemed to have stagnated. I used to see a future for myself in my present postion, but as of about a year ago, I no longer want that future and yet I don't know where to turn for the next step. I dream of solitude, and the time to write and to dedicate myself to God and to writing, yet I cannot do this as long as I have bills to pay. Sometimes I just want to get rid of everything I own so as to have the freedom to exist as God desires, but I realize that so often these twinges are out of selfishness, not selflessness.

Now I have to make myself content to depend upon God's will for he has brought me to a type of desert in which my past is useless with regard to my future, and I can see no future for myself other than the presence of God and God alone. I don't know what He wants of me, and so maybe in the last year I have come to nothing. Have I squandered my time? Am I a "Sister of Perpetual Discernment"? Or am I simply a woman finally ready to accept the Lord on his terms and not my own?

Only time will tell. God will reveal himself when He desires, and until then, it is my place to continue to pray, to continue to worship, to continue to seek holiness in the simplicity of life without worrying about career advancement, the house, the bills, the next hobby, the next vacation or the next anything. It is time to learn to trust in the providence of God, and boy, is that a big step.

I haven't decided if I am avoiding a vocation and justifying it to myself, because sometimes I just don't want to be a Sister or Nun. Maybe I would have the same feelings if I was about to be married. I may never know.

So for now, I am simply myself, and hopefully becoming the woman God wants me to be, whether as His Spouse, a spouse on earth, or a single woman living for Him.

This desert is a difficult place, but I think it must be necessary or I would not be experiencing it. I'm sure that many have been in this place and know exactly what I'm talking about. If I am to work on patience, then so be it for I am an impatient person. God knows my flaws and where I need work, and I have come to realize that I am not ready, in one way or another, to committ to any particular vocation. I am a spiritual late bloomer, yet a tenacious dandelion in the world.

Guess I'll just keep spending time on my knees, and maybe, someday, I'll figure out what God expects of me.

God bless you all, and please offer prayers that the Lord calls more to His vineyard...although I am not asking you to pray that I am one of them. I am asking that we all pray, together, that God's will be done in everything.

Amen

Looking back to Lent and forward to Divine Mercy

I'm going to be completely candid with you. I made lenten promises just like everyone else...and as usual, I failed miserably. I'll admit that I did not fail as miserably as I did in past lenten seasons, but failure is failure.

Or is it?

I spent a lot of time thinking this last 40 days previous to the Easter Triduum, and I recognized a change in my behavior, overall. In comparing with the past, some years I did not give much up at all, and if I did, I did not take it very seriously. Sometimes in past years, once I had fallen, I continued with my vice, having decided that it was worthless to go on.

I still shake my head at my lack of fortitude at the time.

This year was different. Yes, I failed miserably and my willpower broke down, sometimes without a battle. I am weak. But this year, something changed; when I fell, I picked myself back up and I went on with my chosen cross. I resolved to do better, and if I had fallen, I also gave up some alternative craving, to be sure that at least I was making some kind of sacrifice that day.

I spent some time reflecting on my weak spirit when it came to me that this is what Lent is all about; a spiritual desert, a time to recognize that we are called to be holy, and in order to do so we need to cut ties to earthly pleasures. Legitimate pleasures which in and of themselves are not inherently wrong. Maybe some people gave up pleasures which are sinful for them, and this likely has even greater value in God's eyes as the task is that much more difficult. Or do we all do that? For example, what about chocolate? Do we overdo it on sweets to the point that it may be sinful? And if this is the case, isn't it harder to give up and a larger cross to carry than, say, giving up chocolate or sweets if we tend to enjoy them only on occasion anyway? For myself, I gave up a very difficult pleasure and I did so with the intention of following through, but I didn't do so well.

While amidst this spiritual desert, I came to understand how deeply I need the mercy of Jesus. I came to understand that I am a slave to my passions. I have not broken my bond with this passion of mine, however, through the grace of God, I think that the bond has been weakened. Isn't that a success?

I've realized that my "failure" to uphold my promises was not a failure at all, but rather, an enlightening example of concupiscense. If I cannot give up even a legitimate pleasure, how much more difficult is it to give up the sins I committ without even thinking about them each and every day?

This lenten season was a true lesson to me in how much I am in need of a Savior, how much I need to rely on the Divine Mercy of Jesus because I do not have the power within me to break with my passions.

Dearest Jesus, I am a sinner, a miserable sinner, and I cannot even do so much as pray without your Divine Grace. Have mercy on me, Jesus.

For the next year, I now have a lesson in humility; remembering that even if I make strides in my spiritual life, I am still nothing but a sinner in need of God's grace. But Jesus went to the cross knowing that I would sin, he suffered because I cannot break with my sins so he took it upon himself to do it for me.

I still have things to work on and I can now look back and understand that even though on the surface it seems that I failed, overall, Lent was a success because had I not fallen, I would not have obtained a greater understanding of Jesus' mercy.

I am of course praying the Divine Mercy Novena which began on Good Friday, and this year it means even more to me. I will finish the Novena and approach the Feast and the devotion on Divine Mercy Sunday with great awe and gratitude for the sacrifice Jesus made for us all and the great love he demonstrated when he gave everything by pouring his lifeblood out upon the world.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, in celebrating this beautiful, renewing season of Easter, don't go back to your old habits, but let those broken bonds carry you forward so that you can grow even further in holiness. While we are now in a time of celebration, it is not a time of excess but rather a season to rejoice in newfound freedoms and revel in God's great mercy. How can we properly observe this by backsliding? Simple. We can't.

We all need Jesus' mercy. We all need to approach the fount of mercy as described by St. Faustina (as revealed to her by Jesus Christ); we need to go to Confession, pray the chaplet for ourselves and others and to trust that Jesus will lead us all home.

Jesus, we trust in thee.

HE IS RISEN!

Happy Easter and many blessings to you all!

Judas

I'm not going to talk about the bogus "gospel"; I have not read it nor do I need to in order to know it's a piece of crap.

This post is about the true Biblical Judas and the purpose he served.

I have never understood Judas. He was one of the apostles, therefore he was called by Christ. And Christ, being God, already knew all about Judas, and still he called him. And Judas came. But what really motivated him?

We know from the Gospels that Judas was a thief; he held the money bag and complained when Jesus' feet was annointed because he, Judas, was stealing and wanted the money for himself if any was to be spent. Therefore he was a con. He was a traitor, but was he really? Maybe he was more of a spy, because in order to be a traitor one has to actually hold the opposing position prior to betraying it. He was never converted. He was a criminal in his own right, was Judas.

Judas was a sinner.

We know that Judas betrayed Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane with a kiss for only 30 pieces of silver. We know that he later repented, knowing that he had betrayed innocent blood, and he tried to give the money back, but the bloody hands of the Pharisee's refused the rejection of an act which was already completed and signed in blood.

Did Judas sell his soul in order to betray Jesus Christ?

It says in the Gospels that after Judas took the piece of bread which was dipped in the same dish as Jesus, Satan entered him. So was Judas acting under the possession of Satan, or of his own willful accord or both?

Judas repented, though as he realized his sin. He repented and he returned the blood money. He repented.

I can't get past this.

Judas repented.

And then he hung himself. He repented and then killed himself.

We, as Catholics, believe that suicide, the taking of one's own life, which is murder, to be a mortal sin. We also recognize that some who committ suicide do so under the duress of a mental illness, and so the sin may be mitigated. Only God can read the heart.

When I was a teenager, I nearly committed suicide, and that is for another post. I believe that my sin was mortal; I knew what I was doing and I was rejecting God. My Mother, a few years later, also attempted suicide and was subsequently hospitalized as I signed on as her guardian for the purposes of the 72 hour hold when I was only 18. She was mentally ill and had been diagnosed long before. I do not believe she committed mortal sin because she was not thinking clearly....she was not acting by her own hand. But what of Judas? From all accounts, he was not mentally ill and was fully aware of what he had done.

Was it despair? Was his real sin despair? He realized that he had betrayed Jesus Christ unjustly, but did he really know who Jesus Christ was, or did that realization hit him after the kiss upon his cheek?

In Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ", Judas looked over at a decaying ox which was crawling with maggots. I read an account or maybe heard one on Relevant Radio explaining the scene...the camera pans to the the oxen which shows the teeth in the center of the shot. It then pans to Judas, weeping, his teet in the center of the shot. They had to do the scene over and over again, and finally they told the actor, "Pretend that the ox is your soul". The result was the impact we see.

I can't help but feel compassion for Judas because I am a sinner, too. How many times have I betrayed Jesus? How many times have I rejected him in favor of some shiny trinket, or even 30 of them?

Search your souls, people. You are Judas, too. You have been evil, you have betrayed Jesus, and you have sold yourself for all sorts of sins. We all have.

And that's why Jesus had to die. For the maggoty likes of us.

But did Jesus die for Judas?

I do not mean to imply that he was a good guy because he certainly was not. He betrayed Christ.

But I can't get beyond his repentance his and subsequent suicide. What I see here is that he was aware of what he had done and he despaired of reconciliation because he could not turn back the clock. He could not go back and make things right; he could not even apologize. He knew that he had killed the Savior through his actions and he could not even bear to watch because he wore that blood also.

Is that what we are to learn? That Judas sinnned more in his despair than he did in the act of betrayal itself? And when he hung himself for a tree (as Jesus was also hung from a tree), he officially turned away from the mercy of Jesus which could still have been available to him.

Judas could still have been "saved". Can you imagine a Gospel where Judas arived at the foot of the cross and begged for Jesus' mercy? Wouldn't Jesus have absolved him on the spot, begging the Father to forgive for he knew not what he had done?

But Judas did not even explore that possibility. He ran away. He fled, and instead of life and redemption, he chose death. Is that what the Sacred Scripture teaches, and what the Church teaches?

I am asking this in all sincerity as I have never taken a Bible study course. I have never had the opportunity either due to financial concerns or work schedule. I am no theologin and even my religious training at St. Mary's University in Winona was heretical, sad to say.

I ask of those of you who have actual knowledge of the Church's teaching to please comment and reveal how we are to see Judas...or are we only to leave him to the mercy of Jesus. Are we to pray for his soul, or is he considered to be a lost cause? I read somewhere that his is the only soul the Church deems to be in Hell, but is this true? I somehow doubt it because it contradicts the message of Divine Mercy and the very death Jesus died on the cross for all of us.

It's for all of us, not all of us except Judas.

I can't get past the mercy of Jesus...what are we to do about Judas?

Divine Mercy and Eternity

This morning I got up, vowing to do more penance, pray more, etc., trying to fininsh Lent with a "bang!" So it didn't really surpise me this morning that I had such a strong desire to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Over the last couple days, I felt like I was supposed to be doing the novena, but that does not begin until next Friday. In looking back, I have prayed the chaplet every day, anyway, but I was not offering up any intentions in particular such as that with the official novena.

This morning's prompt was particularly strong, and hit sometime around 6:30 to 7 am. I was busy getting ready for work and "didn't have time" to pray the Chaplet, but I planned to do so en route to work.

As I got into my car and headed off down the road, I was thinking about St. Faustina's diary and about the benefit of Divine Mercy for the dying. The diary described how the Chaplet brought great refreshment to those who were in their final moments and how those who are tormented become suddenly at peace and die in a much better state.

I prayed the Chaplet, wondering why I was thinking about dying persons when no one I knew was dying. But I didn't know what to offer the chaplet for so I put that offering in God's hands to address.

This morning was very busy and I am the only person handling our workload from the weekend and today as my co-workers are all at various trainings. I don't know why that happened especially on a Monday, but it's out of my hands. So I was plugging away while people were filling up my voice mail.

One of the messages was from my brother. He never calls me at work, and his tone was serious. Ignoring all my needy customers, I called my brother.

I knew what the news would be before he actually said it, and in fact he didn't say it but talked around it.

Grandma, our last grandmother, passed away this morning. We were unaware of it, but about two weeks ago she was diagnosed with late-term terminal cancer. They tried to treat it, and this morning she took her last breath and granted her soul back to God. The funeral is this week and I'm not sure I can make it but that's another story.

I remembered the sudden propmptimg to pray Divine Mercy right NOW which I had largely ignored, so I asked my brother about her time of death.

8:05 am Eastern Time, making it 7:05 am Central time. Meaning the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray for grandma as she was dying and I ignored the request.

*

I thanked my brother for calling me and tried to go about my business. After all, I was the only one to do the work, and leaving suddenly was not good...our customers needed help, too.

But I could not keep my composure, especially when I considered that I was told to pray for her which might have eased her last moments, but I did not. I prayed the chaplet after she had already died.

Finally I gathered up my purse and I headed to a nearby adoration chapel so that I could pour my grief out to Jesus. While I was in the chapel, I sensed the Blessed Mother very close by and I offered another Divine Mercy for my Grandma's soul.

I returned to work having prayed for the strength to get through the rest of the day. I headed to the bathroom to clean myself up and try to appear presentable. Two managers walked in (neither of them my manager) and tried to console me and told me that I should go home. It took them to talk this sense into me.

I was so busy worrying about all the work that needed to be done to really realize that I had a right to leave when such an emergency was presented. I was so busy being a Martha that I did not realize it was time to be Mary.

Of course my Manager gave me permission to leave and told me not to worry about what needed to be done. They would take care of any incoming calls.

I've learned a few lessons today that I want to impart to you all as you also journey to Calvary during this last week of lent:

* If you are prompted to pray, even if you don't know who you are praying for or why, don't ask questions and don't delay. If you cannot stop doing something, then pray as you do it. Even if you don't know the why and what and who, God does, so trust him and offer what he asks you to offer in the spirit of obedience.

* "Martha, Martha, you are worried about many things. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her...". Don't be a Martha. Take time to pray, especially when it's obvious that that's what you need to do. Don't worry about the work, the lack of personnnell, etc. God has his hand over that, too. Take time to sit at Jesus' feet and pray.

* If you are grieving, unite your grief with Jesus and look at Calvary and the Passion of Christ from the eyes of the grieving Blessed Mother. Maybe you will understand Jesus in a whole new way.

* If you are suffering, offer your suffering, no matter how small, as penance for each wound Christ bore for all of us. Remember that Jesus was not ONLY crucified, but he suffered many small injuries also, to include bruises and scratches. The smallest penance is still penance and is much greater in the eyes of God than we realize.

I ask you all to keep my grandmother and our family in your prayers.

God bless you this Holy Week.

Why is a Methodist teaching First Communion to Catholic Children?

This is really unacceptable. Before you read the link please consider that the person teaching has never been instructed in the Catholic faith. Apparently she is operating under SJA's lack of authority, so her own misunderstanding of the Eucharist can be excused. She likely doesn't know that what she is teaching is not in conformation with the Catholic faith.

So who is responsible for this lesson to the innocent children of SJA parish in Minneapolis? Who is to answer for this lack of catechesis, which is even worse than that which I recieved?

http://www.stjoan.com/thumb8fr.htm

An excerpt:

Drama: We joined Jesus (Larry Sheehan and Mary Donovan) at the Passover meal. Jesus washed the feet of the first communion children, asking and explaining, “Do you understand why I just did this? I am your leader, and I just helped you by washing your feet. If you want to be great, you need to help others like I do.”


I have no problem with people explaining things so that children cannot understand. We can consider the Apostles to be children of a sort, but the commment, "If you want to be great...".. is beyond prideful. Jesus never suggested that the Apostles would be "great". The understanding children have of "great" is much like that of adults: We know greatness. Jesus was great. Secretariat was great. George Washington was great. Abraham Lincoln was great. Liberaci was/is great. Children are not stupid, and such a word cannot be used if what one wants to convey is that Jesus, while "great" was the servant of all. He was the epitomy of humility, and this is something that SJA eludes in understanding and in teaching.

Believe you me, I struggle with humility myself, and SJA is NOT the source I look to to find it. I am so sorry to see that the children are growing up with the same lack of understanding of their parents.

Church: “The most important part of communion is ‘union,’” began Kathy Itzin. She talked about the importance of making peace with others before taking communion.

Now I agree that the teaching is to reconcile with one's "brother" prior to approching the most Holy. This is very important. But let's look at what SJA teaches is the "most important part" of Communion: union.

Ummm....no.

How is "union" more important than the fact that the bread and wine become the very body, blood, soul, and divinity of Jesus Christ? This is a BIG DEAL!

I am not surprised that SJA is enforcing their own rhetoric upon the children and so I ask you to pray throughout this Holy Week for the children especially.

And if you have any doubts about what the "teachers" really believe, then check out their reference to the Most Holy Body and Precious Blood of Christ:

She also said it was “good church manners” to eat the bread right away.


GOOD CHURCH MANNERS???????????

GOOD CHURCH MANNERS????? WHAT?!!!!!

Consuming the Body of Christ is not "manners", nor is it optional. It is a requirement of the faith. It should not be suggested that not consuming the flesh of the Risen Savior immediately is optional.

Kris Sundbergh led a scavenger hunt in the sacristy. Every child was given a list of items that are kept in the Sacristy. Among the items were the priest's vestments, baptismal candles, communion supplies and even the sink where the unused wine is disposed of.

The children really NEED to understand that once consecrated, the wine is no longer wine, but the actual Blood of Christ. Clearly, they are not learning this. One gets the idea that reading this page that "wine" is simply poured down the sink and into the sewer like so much refuse.

No wonder the wounds of Christ are bleeding so heavily.

I do not mean to say that I am not a sinner, but I am a sinner who has been subject to this type of "teaching" and I am angry. I am angry because I was never taught the Truth of our faith. I never had a firm foundation, and now I am seeing generations of children raised with an even greater lack of understanding of our faith.

Maybe we can let the adults go their own way, but how can we allow SJA to continue to mislead the children?

Jesus said, "Let the children come unto me,", and yet, the children are being prevented. I guarantee that if SJA is still using pita bread, the children, while innocent, are still not partaking of the Body and Blood of Christ, but only a cheap substitute.

This cannot continue. What can we do? Please offer your Holy Week devotions and sacrifices for both the innocent children and the mislead adults of SJA.