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Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I have a lot to be grateful for.

There's all sorts of people in my life willing to schlep me around so that I can get to work and back home, and school, and back home.

I'll be without a car for another couple days; they didn't have a remanufactured cylinder head, so they're having to rebuild and replace my valves, will take a couple extra days. So it'll still cost me $2,400, and I was prepared for that. I asked if it was possible it would be worse?

No. They won't charge more. They're sticking with the initial quote. They could put a used head in, she said, but she fears I'd have the same problem, and I agree. I can't afford do do this once, much less twice.

I don't have a problem with used parts in general, but if I were to pay for this job and a year down the road the used head cracks again, well...let's just not think about it.

If my car were older and had higher mileage, maybe it wouldn't matter so much. But it's a 2003.

Anyway, none of the schlepping drivers in my life have taken any money for gas. I've offered everyone, each said no. And if it were me, I wouldn't have wanted money, either. But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be offered. I was ready if someone DID need gas money.

Last weekend when I went to Confession, the priest offered me some wonderful advice; he told me to focus on the present moment, and work more on that. Maybe this car problem is part of that. I can't make my own plans; I'm dependent upon others. That does a LOT to keep one in the present moment.

I like being independent and just getting stuff done according to my own schedule and preferences. Scratch that this week. I can't do any of it on my own.

So, as awful as this financial issue is, as awful as it is to have to suck it up and ask for help, well, it's a good thing. And it's making me more depending upon God. As each new need appears, there seems to be someone set in place to help me take care of it.

No one is doing anything for me necessarily, just helping me to get to where I can get it done.

God's hand is all over this.

Maybe we can never know how small we are until we have to reach up for that big unseen hand that's always nearby...and see how close He is, all the time.

No wonder we call him "Abba."


Cathy_of_Alex said...

I'm around this weekend if by chance it's not fixed and you need help.

I do, however, draw the line at you sitting in the back and I will not wear a chauffeur hat or goofy outfit!

Let me know.

Hidden One said...

The Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as ...

Yay for being like little children!

Unknown said...

I learned a lot about God when I had to accept the I AM- ness of God.

Let go of the past and don't think of the future but remain in the present because God is I AM. Not I Was or I Will Be.

I did a lot of meditating on that, but eventually it brought me great joy.