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Friday, January 09, 2009

A Few of My Favorite Things

You dog owners....

You know how it is when you are awakened out of a dead sleep by the excruciating sound of your dog preparing to vomit? So you leap out of bed, realize it's dark and so you fumble for your glasses before turning on the light? Yeah. And then you realize you have your rosary in your hand and you have to let go of it now. And so you fumble for a spot to put it because you haven't yet figured out how to turn on a lamp or hit a switch. And your dog is already ahead of you on the stairs, but waiting, so you yell, "NO! Don't puke there!" And you find the light at the stairway and race her down, then at the bottom of the stairs you hit the light again, turning it off, and you realize you're back to not being able to see. So you turn it back on before proceeding, all the while thinking that these stupid delays are going to mean you'll be doing yucky cleanup.

And then you rush through the livingroom; the dog is already at the door, still heaving, and you know time is short (because you just stepped in some spit with your bare feet), and so you skip the leash, skip the shoes, and just take the dog out and stand out on the sidewalk of your townhome in the bitter cold, wearing only lounge pants, a t-shirt, and in bare feet. And thank God that there are no other dogs out or bunnies (which in the past have served to immediately make her forget about her sour tummy). Once you're satisfied that she is good "for now", you step back in, fumble for the leash, and find the only closest thing to put on your feet...some slipper socks, and you can't even pull them all the way on because the second you step out the door the dog stops her heaving because she sees a neighbor and is about to take off to say hello.

So you yell NO! really loudly and lounge for her collar. (Hoping to God that the neighbor doesn't look over and see you in your bare feet and minimal clothing with your hair standing on end.) And the dog seems to have forgotten she was getting sick, so you bring her in. And immediately she begins heaving again, since she had never completed her business and suddenly remembers what she had gotten you up to do. So you step back outside JUST IN TIME for her to leave her mess there and not on your feet.

And also, you're cold.

Ah, the joys of dog ownership...

Benedictines on the Brain

It doesn't help that the deep sleep had to do with a really intense dream. In between Sr. Mary's Investiture this week and reading "In This House of Brede" in which a clothing ceremony and simple vows were noted just before I went to sleep, I of course dreamed about it.

In the dream, I ended up at a Benedictine convent, completely amazed because up until that moment I thought I was Dominican. But they showed me to my room (not "cell" was a dream, you recall), and we were preparing for an Investiture...three of us. Apparently we had been there for awhile. We were next to a school, and I'd parked my old borrowed car in front of it. And after my hair was chopped off and I was clothed in the habit and veil, we all decided to go out for dinner. So I looked out for the car, and it was gone.

Then someone gave me one of the programs, and there was a note scribbled on it from an old roommate, with whom I haven't spoken in years (ever since I explained I couldn't be her proxy on a living will because of her Terri-Schaivo-death-like preferences.) The note was short and to the point...she couldn't understand why I was choosing this way of life and basically thought I was an irresponsible idiot. I can't remember the wording.

Knowing the source, I set out to write her a letter and explain the reasons women choose and are chosen for these Vocations.

But we had to find the car first. We didn't. As it turned out, the note-writing "friend" had come and collected the car herself and just hadn't bothered to tell me.

And so it was that, when I woke up so suddenly having to immediately take action, I thought I was wearing a habit.

As it turned out, it was just a blanket that was attached to me.

Sure wish it had stayed attached while I stood barefoot and clothed only in my t-shirt in the cold.

So how's YOUR morning going?


The Digital Hairshirt said...

MmmmuWAH, mmmmuWAH, mmmmuWAH . . . .

Lillian Marie said...

I can relate... oh wow, can I relate. However, most of the time I am unable to get the dogs outside in time - or as I'm fumbling to put on their invisible fence collars, they give the heave-ho right there!

Mark said...

Hi Adoro - I hope your dog is feeling better. After reading your post I'm relieved I live with cats (and with cats who have good digestions!).

I came across some photos of a Benedictine investiture in Kansas which I'm guessing is the one you're referring to. The pictures are very beautiful and inspiring. I assume you've seen them, but I'll give the link for the benefit of other readers.

Some of them have now appeared on a very influential Catholic blog here in the UK, so maybe they'll inspire some UK vocations...

Adrienne said...

For obvious reasons, a spewing dog makes me very, very nervous. About $1800.00 nervous....

Anonymous said...

Digi ~ Are you laughing at me? lol

LM ~ Being that I'm in a townhome, I don't have a fenced yard OR an lectronic fence. I just have to grab the leash, and out of a dead sleep, that's hard enough! Although even when I had 2 dogs, I didn't hever have them disturbed at the same time...Thank God!

Mark ~ She's good, this is all very natural for dogs, although disturbing for us!

That community and those photos ARE of her. In looking at the row of "Brides", she's the one with short dark hair, third from the right.

Adrienne ~ Totally understandable! (I could not have paid for that...thus I wouldn't have a dog anymore. So thankful you still have your fuzzball!)

Christine said...

Been there. One night I woke up to the sound of my dog vomiting, and as I got out of bed, I almost stepped in one of the 4 poops on the floor! He had gotten sick on something he ate out of the garbage.