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Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Intercession of the Blessed Mother, Undoer of Knots

A very good friend of mine suggested the other day that I offer a particular novena to Mary, Undoer of Knots. I have been praying with all my heart and it's a very simple novena involving Memorare's. (I love that prayer).

As you all know, I've been agonizing over this seemingly-sudden decision to apply for Grad school, and I've reallized that I really need to just trust Jesus...if it is meant to be, He will open the doors. But that sure doesn't mean that we should just not pray.

Several things are required for admission: 3 references, one required to be a profesor.

Well, I called, and since I've been out of school for 10 years, they are waiving that and will accept professional references, or priests, etc. Done. My Manager (he actually graduated also from my alma mater), our Pastor, and the Assistant Pastor--I actually spoke with him briefly today and have to make an appointment to come in and speak with him a little further as he wants to know a few more things about me before he completes the letter. But he told me he'd write it.

I can't express to you what it means to me to have the support of the priests at my parish in this endeavor--I love and respect them dearly and of course, the problem has been solved...which one to ask? BOTH! (We actually have 4 priests but I don't know the other two as well).

And the thing that made my day....

As you remember, I was wondering what to write my paper about. Being out of school for so long, I was very concerned about having a paper to submit. Most people go to grad school before they hit their ten year anniversary. I'm a late bloomer. So what?

I have wondered over and over what to write and many topics came to mind, yet I dreaded writing the thing...it's not like blogging. This is for real. I do NOT want to come across as a hack.

Yesterday I went to adoration for awhile and prayed for help, prayed for some peace, prayed for an idea I could run with. Jesus told me to wait...trust...let him handle it. So I went home and I didn't brainstorm...I just waited.

This morning as I was getting ready for work, I could not shake the desire to go into my spare room (currently a storage room in complete disarray) and look for a paper. I argued, thinking, "I gotta get to work! I don't have time to dig around in that mess!"

My storage room is a disaster area...ever since I began the throwing-away process, it has been a catastrophe and I shudder every time I pass it...one of these days I need to complete what I started but I don't want to. It's too much work. I'm paying for my negligence now.

Well, I had to go into that room to close the window, which I don't leave open when I'm not home, especially with the threat of rain. Just under the window was a milk crate containing various odds and ends. While I shut the window, I idly pulled a folder back to reveal what was behind it.

It was a notebook from my college. Suddenly I didn't care about work so much...time stopped. I briefly paged through the looseleaf papers and packets stored in that notebook. Nothing...but there was another notebook from another class behind that...and there, I found my paper.

It is a paper about Borderline Personality Disorder, written for my Abnormal Psych class my sophomore year in college. I was working in a psych facility with many patients with this disorder, and more than once they sent me to the doctor as a result of their assaultive behavior. I was fascinated by the course and as I always read the histories and the Axis diagnoses, it was great to finally piece it all together. And since those borderline personality kids were such a challenge, I wanted to learn more...so that's what I wrote my paper about.

I think this was the paper that caused my prof, himself a Criminal Psychologist and court expert, and beg me to change my major from CJ to Psych. Or even double-major.

I refused, and really, I'm glad. I think I would have been as caught up in Freudian-Jungian Psychology as many of the mislead "doctors" out there and given my spiritual state at the time, that would not have been a good thing.

And so I have a paper, one for which I recieved an "A", and it doesn't matter that I think the psychology behind it is bunk and the "solutions" ridiculous. When I'd called the university the other day, they only expressed they want to make sure we know how to do research...fine...done. I might, for good measure, "fictionalize" one of my current investigations and provide that as an example of real-world research including my "legalese" which now seems to classify my business letters. (yeech..I need to get out of this job).

What a weight off my mind! Mary, Undoer of Knots, has undone some minor tangles and a large knot standing between me and admission to the Master's program. I have a paper, exactly 12 pages in length excluding the bibliography....and now all I need to write is a 700 word essay about why I want to enter the program. Oh, and order my transcripts.

Thank you, Blessed Mother, for your intercession! Mary, Undoer of Knots, pray for us!

2 comments:

Cathy_of_Alex said...

"Be Still and Know that I AM" works every time.

Anonymous said...

Prayer request.

Commend my increasing burdening of problems to our lady undoer of knots.

PJ