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Thursday, May 13, 2010

Academic Panic

I am ending my academic career in the same way I began it:   in complete panic.

The first class I took as a part of this program meant the first academic papers I'd written in....well, too many years.  Although I'd had education in between my undergrad years and then, that education consisted of more hands-on or multiple-choice types of tests, versus writing papers, and so, I found I had to stretch my brain a bit and it was quite painful!

Quite literally, there were times that first semester that had me in tears of panic, thinking, "I can't do this anymore!"

The panic calmed, more or less, over the last few years, and now I am staring down my very last deadline, terrified I'll be unable to meet it.

I confess that I'm not even sure I've done my final paper for Pastoral Theology correctly. Given the topic and the short length of the paper, it's an exercise in being concise and utilizing key words and phrases to convey my point. I have a "system" in place, but is it what the professor is looking for? Am I making my point? Am I doing this correctly or have I overly-generalized and at risk of turning in a final paper that will be a greater embarrassment to my grad program than it even is to me?

I'm taking this afternoon off work so that I can come home, plop down at my desk, stare at my paper and probably regress to year one. I need to get this paper turned in TONIGHT.

The final fork awaits....can someone please deliver several boxes of kleenexes to my door so that I may utilize them this afternoon?



Michael said...

You will do fine! This is doubt sent from the devil to try and discourage you in your last battle before the end of your education. Do not be daunted by that little demon who is so intent on making you despair. I had the same feelings Monday and Tuesday of this week while undergoing the most disturbing and mind wrecking psychological testing I have ever had the displeasure of taking (I am applying with the Mercedarians in Philly).

I will say a prayer for you that you will find peace and know this, that your guardian angel is right there beside you to bring comfort, help, and relief.

Pax et Bonum!


kam said...

You can do it! Prayers and peace to you. k