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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Story Time with Adoro - Inanity

Since all of my 4 readers (God bless you!) have asked me to continue with "Story Time with Adoro" I thought I would indulge them this evening.  This post was originally published back on April 4, 2007 but I think it would be just as happy now in July of 2010.  

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One of the things no one knows about me is that I was once interviewed on the radio. In the studio. I'm certain that no one I knew actually heard me so this is knowledge only the DJ those present happens to have, and they've probably all long forgotten about it.

On the day we graduated from Firefighter training and were sworn in in a ceremony in which no one in my life other than my boyfriend at the time, himself a Firefighter for same city, cared to be present,  we "cadets" had a small gathering in a restaurant in downtown Minneapolis. We just had some drinks and appetizers, and then a few of us decided to hang out before the party in the evening, so we ran a few errands, picked up some beverages, and we ran out to my friend's part-time job (might have been volunteer): the B-96 studio in Minneapolis.

We all went in with her in order to get a glance at the inside of the biz, and she greeted the on-air DJ joyfully as they knew each other well, being fellow DJ's an' all. She told him that we'd graduated/were sworn-in that day.

He paused, appraised us all for a moment, and said softly, directly to our friend, shaking his head, " KNOW I gotta put you on..." He smiled at us all, thrilled to be able to provide something other media sources didn't know anything about.

I can still hear the melodic tone of his voice; the man was born to be on the airwaves.

We found ourselves presently in a small conference room that could maybe fit 10 or fewer around the table. We all had microphones in front of us, corresponding with each chair. I wondered if I was suddenly cast onto the set of "Frazier." Was a Jack Russel terrier about to bound into the room barking? Was Roz going to enter making some sort of snide comment, with Frazier retorting in his high-falutin' over-educated, under-intelligenced manner?

No...this was a small radio station established off of Olson Memorial Highway in Minneapolis, home to the proud DJ's of urbandome.

Our friend was in her element, clearly comfortable. The rest of us just stared at each other and her with mixed emotions; excitement, trepidation...fear we would say something completely stupid and the whole world would have a front-row ear while they drove home from work.

When our friend got the signal, she started in with a typical trendy radio introduction, obviously her regular opening line. I'd never seen her happier. She explained the context of our sudden presence on the airwaves and went into "interview" mode, placing herself both as a DJ they all knew and as a participant in the accomplishments we'd shared in training.

I can't remember the exact question she posed, but I think it had something to do with our biggest challenges faced as women in firefighter training.

What an opportunity! What a moment! To be able to speak for and encorage women everywhere!

We went around the table, introducing ourselves as directed. I think we gave our ages (we were all in our 20's), and then we answered "the question."

I said something to the effect that I "learned to face and overcome a lot of fears...and I'll always take that with me."

So there it is. My one-liner which will never go down in history. My moment in the spotlight...and the ultimate reality of inanity, forever disappearing into the deepest inaninty of history, forgotten, buried, never to be heard again.

(Please do not flood B96 for requests of our interview on that fall morning late in 2001.)

So! I invite you into the inanity...I challenge all my readers to provide their own moment of inanity, and nothing is too inane! (This post should serve as proof of that....)


Warren said...

Well that was definitely inane.

My most inane moment happened to be the ONE time I actually asked a girl out on a date. I have only once ever asked a girl out. I phoned her up. She turned me down. I was too stupid to say goodbye. I kept the conversation up. cheered by my ability to sustain conversation with a girl who I liked and had a crush on, I asked if I could call her tomorrow so we could chat some more, where by chatting I mean, me blathering on about everything under the sun, asking her questions and prodding her into forcible responses and grudging smalltalk. She mumbled yes that was fine. I found out from a friend she was too shy and scared to be outright rude to me, to say what she felt which was, "no I don't want to talk to you on the phone anymore", so after a few of these calls, she resorted to telling her housemates to tell me that she was out. She was too scared to say, "look stop phoning me". Eventually she told her housemates to tell me to stop calling her.

Maybe that's not just inane. Maybe it's just pathetic.



Kiwi Nomad said...

I am going to tell you about someone else's inane moment. It happened about a few weeks before all hell broke loose in Heathrow last year, and I was transiting that airport. When I had packed up my tent in the camping ground in the morning, my wee alarm clock and my small torch were the last things left in my tent and I chucked them in my small pack instead of my large one. When they showed up on x-ray I was queried about what they were for. I explained I had been camping in a tent. Need for torch still didn't compute with person talking to me. So I said, "Well, in a tent, if you wake up in the middle of the night and you want to see something you need a torch." I wanted to add "duh" but restrained myself.

Cathy said...

According to a Park Ranger at Fort Sumter, SC:

Me: "What's the dumbest question you've ever been asked?"

Him: "One person asked 'Why were so many Civil War battles fought in National Parks?'"

True story.

Anonymous said...

So, the missus and I were out for a soup and sandwich lunch this past Sunday. A couple I hadn't seen in 4 or 5 years was standing across the room talking to someone else - the someone else happened to be parents of former middle-school students of my wife.

We approached them to say "Hi". My missus took up with the mother of the former students; the two other husbands were engaged in conversation; I approached the woman I hadn't seen in a few years.

I was grinning from ear-to-ear as I walked over to her. It is usually kind of exciting to stalk to someone not seen in awhile. She greeted me first, with "Hi ... you look familiar but I can't recall the name." I supposed that was fair enough. I gave my name and I commented it had been awhile since I had seen her around anywhere ... what had she been up to.

We small talked for several minutes. My wife and the other mother were now finished talking ... the other men were still engaged.

I asked "L" to say hi to her husmand "M' for us, and I excused us from the group.

As we walked away, my missus asked, "Who was that lady you were talking to?" I replied, "That's 'L', 'M's" wife ... you've met her before."

She assured me she didn't know who that lady was ... and while it was probably "M's" wife, it was noone we knew - she then reminded me that "M" and "L" had divorced several years ago, and my missus had heard that "M" remarried with a young sales associate in his business. BUT, that was certainly not "L".

And the woman I spoke with just like we were old friends, I'm sure she was asking "M" something like "Do you know someone by the name of...?"

Oh, well. It is nice to be friendly, I think ... even out of inanity.

Sanctus Belle said...

in·ane /ɪˈneɪn/ Pronunciation[i-neyn]–adjective 1. lacking sense, significance, or ideas; silly: inane questions. 2. empty; void

Ok, now that I more fully understand the word, here's a couple of inane things:

1. Vacationing in the Caribbean is great, but DON'T order sliced strawberries on your morning bowl of cereal. One sliced strawberry cost me 7 bucks.

2. DO however drink the famous Rum Punch, most delicious liquid on earth. A huge glass costs about 4 bucks.

3. Wear light gauzy clothes to cover up from the sun, this works better than sunscreen.

4. That 40 SPF sunscreen gives you a horrible rash after a couple of days.

5. Go to an island that by law requires public access to all beaches. Don't stay at the fancy resort on the beach, stay at a cheaper place inland and enjoy the beaches all day for FREE!

6. Bring your own snorkeling gear, they charge more for a one day rental than it costs to buy the stuff.

7. I highly recommend the Island of Anguilla in the British Antilles - very little tourist trap, mega shopping stuff there. Very unspoiled, native, yet beautiful beyond description. Very friendly people too!!

Yes, very inane...I know.

Adoro said...

You guys, that's great stuff! Keep 'em comming!

(Everyone's got stories....)

Russ Rentler, M.D. said...

My most inane moment:

Shortly after reverting to the Catholic Church, a good friend of mine, A Catholic priest asked me to come speak to his High school assembly about the Catholic faith. I was told that it was "spirit week" and I was to give a pep talk about the faith.
So I had all of 7 minutes(literally) after Mass to give my testimony of conversion and why I thought they, as young Catholic kids, should stay the course and not be pulled astray by the claims of protestantism.(I was a nominal Catholic kid pulled away as a 14 year old)
I told them that the protestants might have Starbucks in their foyers, rock bands on their altars but we have Jesus in the Eucharist, and nothing can ever replace what we have in the Catholic Church. At some point I also mentioned that Luther came up with his "great ideas" while sitting on "the tower" which is the toilet.
Well, when I was done it was pretty quiet in the auditorium. actually very quiet. The event was over and as I filed out, I noticed no one said anything to me, like nice talk, etc etc.
Three days later I get a letter from my priest friend telling me that a good portion of the faculty and student body were not Catholic and were highly offended by my talk!
He said that the vice principal was a Methodist and they couldn't believe what a jerk I was. My friend did apologize for not telling me how protestant his Catholic High school was, but kinda rebuked me and told me I needed to learn to be more ecumenical.
Sheesh, its been years now but I am still terribly embarrassed when I think about it, and how it reflected badly on my priest friend, though, it was partly his fault.
When you are asked to speak at a CATHOLIC school and told to give a "pep talk" what else should I say? I definitely should have left out the "Luther on the tower" bit.
Very inane and not charitable of me. I have since learned to be a little more savvy in my talks and shows and ask the host repeatedly before the show/talk who the audience is, what the expectations are.
Thanks for listening. St Francis DeSales, pray for us.

Cathy_of_Alex said...

I can't think of anything-brain is blank right now-but I love Story Time with Adoro and these comments are great!

paramedicgirl said...

I got one for you! I was doing an ambulance call at a senior's care home, and there were two crews responding because the lady was quite ill. My partner was over in the corner getting all the paperwork ready, checking medications, DNR, allergies; that type of thing.

The other crew and I were attending to the lady, who was in bed. She was diabetic and had bilateral leg amputations below the knee, which is quite common with diabetics when their disease is not well controlled. We had seen this on examination, but my partner had not.

We were about to move her over to the ambulance cot for transport to hospital when my partner showed up at the bedside, ready, willing and able to assist with the lift, as she was a rather large lady.

She was still under her blankets, so her lower body was not visible, and all eager to help, my partner said, "Let me get the legs."

Quick as a wink, one of the other guys said, "Sure, and can you check the pedal pulses while you are doing that?"

You shoulda seen the look on his face when he lifted the blankets!

Adoro said...

Tiber Jumper ~ Wow....awkward! But still, the priest should have prepped you!

paramedicgirl ~ You made me ROFL coffee all over my computer this morning! :-)